Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

DH has been extremely hands on since the beginning. I wouldn't want it any other way. That being said, how other people manage their relationships and parenting is none of my business. I have friends who do almost everything. I couldn't deal with that, but it seems to work for them. I also don't think FIL ever changed a diaper for any of his 4 kids.

I don't think I would have taken the baby for a diaper change. It's one thing to pass off the responsibilities to your spouse, but when she's not there, you need to step up and learn how to take care of your child.

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

DH is very involved. Sometimes he is more involved than I am!

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

That's absurd! I mean, if it works for them, fine, but that would never fly in my house. It's OUR child, we BOTH share the responsibilities. DH is even super hand-on with my son, who is his step-son. When this baby comes along it will be no different. One person cant do it all... I mean, to not even know what size clothes the baby is wearing or how to change a diaper??? If all you're providing to me is financial assistance but not actually being a part of your child's life, then you're useless to me.

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

This would not be cool with me. I also hate when people say a dad is "babysitting" his own kid. No, he's parenting.

Also, I'm 30, and my dad was very hands on, especially with me since I was an only child until I was 8. He still is even though we're all grown- cooks, cleans, etc. I expect the same from my DH.

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

Hopefully the wife knew what she was signing up for in her marriage and this works for her and her family.

My DC has a set of grandparents in which the grandfather never changed diapers for his own kids, and certainly doesn't change diapers for his grandkids. This means that his wife (DC's grandmother) has to be present for all one on one time with any of the grandkids. I often wonder what would happen if grandma predeceases grandpa.... will he no longer spend any time with his diapered grandkids without the parents present? sadly, i think that would be the case. because he would rather sacrifice his relationship with his grandkids to avoid changing a diaper.

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

Not only do I think it's terrible that this man is so uninvolved with his own child, I am perhaps more taken aback that he was so obnoxious and implied that YOU, a GUEST in his home, should change HIS baby's diaper!!??!! WTF balls does this guy have?! Wow. That is nerve. My jaw literally dropped hearing this.

I would have pretended he MUST have been joking, and handed him HIS baby to change.

Did I misread you or did that really happen?

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

Not ok, no matter how much money he makes. I would lose my shit on Dh if he acted like that. He's home with them at night, does homework, showers, puts them to bed. He takes them to birthday parties when I'm At work. We both do everything. I don't see how one person can be expected to do it all (single parents notwithstanding, obviously).

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

Nope. This would never fly with me. I have family whose husbands pulled this crap and I told DH from day one it wasn't an option for him. I was a little worried when DD1 was first born because he was always scared of babies. But he jumped right in immediately and has been super hands on with both girls ever since. I do more because I'm home more (I work locally and have a more flexible job, and he works crazy long days in the city) but when he's home he's changing diapers, feeding, playing, doing bedtime, etc. everything I do and sometimes better than I do it.

Re: How involved is your Dh in parenting?

I think there's a big difference between a father not being involved and a father just being rude. That situation would drive me crazy more because of the attitude than his lack of "daddy knowledge".

For the record, my husband is very involved and always has been. He does things differently than I do (we have different things that we are sticklers about) but he and I are equals. He works during the day and I work at night so most evenings he is in charge of dinner and bed. When they're super small he does tend to step back a bit since I bf and prefer to only pump when necessary. So he isn't up with them in the middle of the night but that means he deals more with the older one(s) in the first few months while I constantly have a baby attached to me. He also tends to default to me for baths and potty training since we only have girls but I respect that. He obviously will handle those if I'm not around though.

How involved is your Dh in parenting?

Aw I feel very bad for that child.

DH is very involved. He works crazy hours and still watches our DS 2 days a week while I go to work. DH gives DS bathes all the time and when it comes to the explosive smelly diapers DH volunteers to change it!