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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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How many Step-Moms out there????
Let's do a Step-Mom (or Dad) roll call!!
I thought it would be a good idea to see how many of us are in the same boat! We can turn to each other for step-parenting specific support!
I have my son, Thomas, 15 months, and two step-sons, ages 8 and 11. I have known them since 3 and 6. They are good boys and love their brother so much. All in all, we have a very good family dynamic.
We have the boys every other weekend and Tuesday and Thursday nights for a few hours. They live in Queens with their mom, so it's a lot of driving back and forth for DH.
I'd love to hear from other Step-Moms out there!!
Message edited 7/24/2008 10:05:09 AM.
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Posted 7/24/08 9:53 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
I'm a step-mom. My step-daughter just turned 12, and my DD will be 2 in September. Step-daughter has lived with us since she was 7, and doesn't see her bio mother at all. We have a good relationship...but she is at that pre-teen stage and both DH and I want to strangle her on numerous occassions  
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| Posted 7/24/08 9:57 AM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
I stilll owe you a FM 
I have two step-sons, 8 and 7.
I have been with them since they were 3 and 2. DD is 5 months and the boys are thrilled to have a baby sister. They are great boys and to me, they are my sons.
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| Posted 7/24/08 10:04 AM |
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Taylorsmom
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/06 432 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Step-Mom here also!
My DSS will be 15 in Sept. I've known him since he was 5 /12.
DD turned three in February.
My step-son loves Taylor to death and Taylor loves her JoeJoe
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| Posted 7/24/08 10:46 AM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Me too!!!!! (but then you knew that) 
Our situation is a bit more complicated but overall it works...
I have 3 girls...(ages 14, 9, & 9)
DH has 2 girls...(ages 10 & 5)
Together we have DS (11 months)
My girls go back and forth to their dad's and DHs girls go back and forth from their mom's to here...
Without going into details things have been a little tough lately. It's definitely kind of hard when you have outside influences trying to screw things up for you...Things would be a little better if we had positive support from the other side.
(small example of what Im going through: His ex's parents still have an 11x14 wedding picture up in their livingroom of DH and the Ex. They have been divorced for almost 5 years)
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| Posted 7/24/08 11:05 AM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Posted by hbugal
Me too!!!!! (but then you knew that)
Our situation is a bit more complicated but overall it works...
I have 3 girls...(ages 14, 9, & 9)
DH has 2 girls...(ages 10 & 5)
Together we have DS (11 months)
My girls go back and forth to their dad's and DHs girls go back and forth from their mom's to here...
Without going into details things have been a little tough lately. It's definitely kind of hard when you have outside influences trying to screw things up for you...Things would be a little better if we had positive support from the other side.
(small example of what Im going through: His ex's parents still have an 11x14 wedding picture up in their livingroom of DH and the Ex. They have been divorced for almost 5 years)
Yikes!!!! 
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| Posted 7/24/08 11:54 AM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
I have two step-daughters, age 22 & 17. My DH has had sole custody since they were 17 & 12. (their mom moved to PA & lost custody). I have been involved in their lives since they were 13 & 8 years old and we get along GREAT! They actually treat me better than their dad sometimes, but overall, we have a good life with them. We now have a 14 month old girl together & they love their little sister!
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| Posted 7/24/08 2:00 PM |
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my3boys
I love these boys
Member since 7/07 2711 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Step mom here as well (to mamandaddyof3's oldest dd) she will be 12yrs old in a few months. I have been in her life for 6yrs but I grew up with her dad (my dh). I have a soon to be 11yr old from before dh and together we have 2  's a 3yr old and 1yr old. My oldest and my step dtr get along pretty well for the most part but like any siblings they have their moments. As for my 3yr old he loves his sister, always asks for her and gets upset when she goes home We have her on Sundays, she sleeps over time to time, and if we are doing anything fun on another day she will come with us. She's a bright girl and I am feel very lucky to be apart of her life. I can't imagine our family with out her.
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| Posted 7/24/08 2:04 PM |
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LovingLife
Blessed
Member since 8/06 2818 total posts
Name:
Blessed
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Step-mom here...
DH's daughter is 10..will be 11 next month 
I've been in her life since she was 4 going on 5. She lives with her mom 20 min away from us...but she is with us every weekend and any time we we want to see her. I am blessed to have a Awesome relationship with her mother.
DH and I have a son together - he will be 4 months tomorrow
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| Posted 7/24/08 4:17 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
1 pre-teen SS - bio mom does the Parental Alienation Syndrome thing against my DH. It's sad, but we do what is best for DD. SS makes my DH cry a lot these days (which makes me angry and somewhat detached) and SS's interest in DD varies depending on what bio-mom says to him. I guess he's confused and angry with everyone. We do the best we can with the situation - we have to for our DD's sake as we both want her to have a sense of consistency, love and security.
Message edited 7/24/2008 4:52:15 PM.
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| Posted 7/24/08 4:33 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Posted by clwp
1 pre-teen SS - bio mom does the Parental Alienation Syndrome thing against my DH. It's sad, but we do what is best for DD. SS makes my DH cry a lot these days (which makes me angry and somewhat detached) and SS's interest in DD varies depending on what bio-mom says to him. I guess he's confused and angry with everyone. We do the best we can with the situation - we have to for our DD's sake as we both want her to have a sense of consistency, love and security.
Ive got a similar situation going on but perhaps on a lesser scale. Aside from basically teaching the girls that Daddy has no authority what so ever she has basically taught them that time with Daddy isnt as important as time with her and her extended family. She makes sure that the girls know that they do not live here that they only "visit" us.She has also taught them that basically going to Daddy's is optional and they only have to go if they have nothing else going on that day..She would never admit to any of it and b/c she does it in such a round about way it's hard to call her on it. I just wish that she would realize that she is only hurting her girls. If she could only see how it could work and give her support we'd be in a totally different situation. My girls love their stepfather as their dad....that's even though they have a wonderful relationship with their own father.
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| Posted 7/24/08 5:26 PM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
I am a step-mom to a 16yr old girl and 18yr old boy and I am due with my own DS in 9 weeks. It is very frustrating more times than not, unfortunately. My DH's ex did the parental alienation thing against us for a few years and now she is abandoning them herself
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| Posted 7/24/08 5:41 PM |
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MrsSteflily
I love chocolate
Member since 4/06 2047 total posts
Name:
Stef
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Another step-mom here.
I am a custodial stepmom to two stepdaughters, 16 and 14.
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| Posted 7/24/08 7:21 PM |
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my3boys
I love these boys
Member since 7/07 2711 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Posted by LovingLife
I am blessed to have a Awesome relationship with her mother.
Same here. It makes it so much easier for the kids when the parents/step parents get along and are on the same page the majority of the time.
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| Posted 7/24/08 7:22 PM |
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ziamaria
I love this boy!
Member since 4/07 3372 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
step-mom here to a 9 yr old boy, been with him since 3 and we have a ds ourselves. both boys love one another - the ex thing, well as you can imagine, we won't go there.
good to know there are a few out here who understand.  for everyone who has had to deal with the extra b.s. from time to time
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| Posted 7/24/08 9:40 PM |
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queenb
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 359 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
i was a step mom (for 9 yrs)and then i got divorced but my SS (now 16) still comes over and i have a great relationship with his mom and he hangs out here with his 2 sisters and my new DH and our 2 kids. My ex is a bone head so we just go around him when the kids want to see each other. Kinda disfuntional but it works! LOL
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| Posted 7/25/08 7:26 AM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Posted by queenb
i was a step mom (for 9 yrs)and then i got divorced but my SS (now 16) still comes over and i have a great relationship with his mom and he hangs out here with his 2 sisters and my new DH and our 2 kids. My ex is a bone head so we just go around him when the kids want to see each other. Kinda disfuntional but it works! LOL
After my mom got divorced from my Dad she stayed in close contact with her stepdaughters and became good friends with their mom...Their mom died many years ago and it was my mom who was the last one to be with her. All these years later my mom is still close with them and goes to visit them out of state.
My father is a bone head too....
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| Posted 7/25/08 7:38 AM |
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toni-mike
???????
Member since 10/07 1196 total posts
Name:
Toni
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
I am a step mom too,
DH has 2 boys
15 & 8
& Oh boyyyyyy 15 ,  knows everthing, attitude
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:06 AM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Posted by hbugal
Posted by clwp
1 pre-teen SS - bio mom does the Parental Alienation Syndrome thing against my DH. It's sad, but we do what is best for DD. SS makes my DH cry a lot these days (which makes me angry and somewhat detached) and SS's interest in DD varies depending on what bio-mom says to him. I guess he's confused and angry with everyone. We do the best we can with the situation - we have to for our DD's sake as we both want her to have a sense of consistency, love and security.
Ive got a similar situation going on but perhaps on a lesser scale. Aside from basically teaching the girls that Daddy has no authority what so ever she has basically taught them that time with Daddy isnt as important as time with her and her extended family. She makes sure that the girls know that they do not live here that they only "visit" us.She has also taught them that basically going to Daddy's is optional and they only have to go if they have nothing else going on that day..She would never admit to any of it and b/c she does it in such a round about way it's hard to call her on it. I just wish that she would realize that she is only hurting her girls. If she could only see how it could work and give her support we'd be in a totally different situation. My girls love their stepfather as their dad....that's even though they have a wonderful relationship with their own father.
OMG, DH's ex and your DH's ex must dance to the same drum. I would never want a relationship with my DH's ex. All that is important to me is how any of this could affect our DD, which I am making sure that it won't, DH and I are on the same page. I have no control over SS, and it's probably in some ways for the best. We tell him all the time - she's your mom you have to respect her. It's hard when your value system and the bio-mom's are nothing alike. She doesn't feel any member of DH's family is wothwhile... she has tried to alienate SS from DH's parent's and all visits are optional and SS has outright lied to get out of visiting his father (which makes my DH cry which totally s*cks). Sometimes it's totally inappropriate like his Grandmother's birthday or even Father's Day. Hence why I consider myself detached... I'm sure anyone could see how if I got involved it would make me crazy and I need sanity to raise our kids. We can't let that happen for DD's sake.
Message edited 7/25/2008 12:30:53 PM.
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| Posted 7/25/08 12:28 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Have 10 year old SD- been in her life since she was 4 months old (DH wasn't married to the mom, unplanned kinda thing)...Up until about 18 months ago, had her every other week-end and whenever it was "convenient to the mom to let us see her over and above that...Mom flew over the cookoos nest when DH and I got engaged 8 years ago and has done everything possible to alienate her from us over the years - Things took a major turn for the worse shortly after our DS was born almost 3 years ago and she has turned this poor innocent child on him so badly that she doesnt want to even come over anymore  ..Parental alienation at its worst kind- The last time she actually came to us willingly and happily was July 6-July 10 2006 when we took her on a cruise with us- Mom got crazy upset that she was excited to go with us (as with everything else, always tried to downplay it ) and my SD got totally panicked because everytime she tried to call her mom (like her mom told her to) from the boat, she got no answer and from what we gather, she must have had it put in her head that we were trying to kidnap her or something crazy like that (when we got married , my SD was supposed to be our flower girl, 3 days before the wedding the mom sends DH a letter that she wont allow her to be our flower girl for fear that he wouldnt bring her back unless mom could come to our wedding- YEAH right ! Ever since the cruise incident she won't sleep over, and now its come to the point where she won't even come over- I really wish we knew what was being said to her ....We still have her empty room waiting for her hoping that one day, she'll see the light and want to be part of our family again...We talk to our DS about her all the time and have her pics everywhere, and now that we have another baby on the way, I'm sure the mom willl find some crazy reason to bring him back to court again even though DH does over and far beyond everything he is mandated to do and with a smile...So sad that it has to be like this, sorry to ramble, I could take a year to tell everything thats transpired- Just wish it could be different, we miss her
Message edited 7/25/2008 3:50:21 PM.
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| Posted 7/25/08 3:46 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Wow- could have written this myself- but it feels good to know that we are not alone - especially the optional thing and the "visiting" part- And also the round about ways she does everything, as so that if it was repeated to someone outside of the situiation, it would go noticed kind of- Ughhh
e got a similar situation going on but perhaps on a lesser scale. Aside from basically teaching the girls that Daddy has no authority what so ever she has basically taught them that time with Daddy isnt as important as time with her and her extended family. She makes sure that the girls know that they do not live here that they only "visit" us.She has also taught them that basically going to Daddy's is optional and they only have to go if they have nothing else going on that day..She would never admit to any of it and b/c she does it in such a round about way it's hard to call her on it. I just wish that she would realize that she is only hurting her girls. If she could only see how it could work and give her support we'd be in a totally different situation. My girls love their stepfather as their dad....that's even though they have a wonderful relationship with their own father.
Message edited 7/25/2008 3:55:28 PM.
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| Posted 7/25/08 3:51 PM |
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lms814
LIF Infant
Member since 6/08 161 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
I have a 5 yr old SS. I have known him since he was 6 months old (DH and his mom never married). So far things are mostly good at this point. We of course have had our times to court for no reason but it usually works out in our favor.
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| Posted 7/25/08 4:20 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Posted by Bops
Have 10 year old SD- been in her life since she was 4 months old (DH wasn't married to the mom, unplanned kinda thing)...Up until about 18 months ago, had her every other week-end and whenever it was "convenient to the mom to let us see her over and above that...Mom flew over the cookoos nest when DH and I got engaged 8 years ago and has done everything possible to alienate her from us over the years - Things took a major turn for the worse shortly after our DS was born almost 3 years ago and she has turned this poor innocent child on him so badly that she doesnt want to even come over anymore ..Parental alienation at its worst kind- The last time she actually came to us willingly and happily was July 6-July 10 2006 when we took her on a cruise with us- Mom got crazy upset that she was excited to go with us (as with everything else, always tried to downplay it ) and my SD got totally panicked because everytime she tried to call her mom (like her mom told her to) from the boat, she got no answer and from what we gather, she must have had it put in her head that we were trying to kidnap her or something crazy like that (when we got married , my SD was supposed to be our flower girl, 3 days before the wedding the mom sends DH a letter that she wont allow her to be our flower girl for fear that he wouldnt bring her back unless mom could come to our wedding- YEAH right ! Ever since the cruise incident she won't sleep over, and now its come to the point where she won't even come over- I really wish we knew what was being said to her ....We still have her empty room waiting for her hoping that one day, she'll see the light and want to be part of our family again...We talk to our DS about her all the time and have her pics everywhere, and now that we have another baby on the way, I'm sure the mom willl find some crazy reason to bring him back to court again even though DH does over and far beyond everything he is mandated to do and with a smile...So sad that it has to be like this, sorry to ramble, I could take a year to tell everything thats transpired- Just wish it could be different, we miss her
Wow... we too had a crazy bio-mom who thought she was going to come to my wedding. I was so worried about that for a while... of course it didn't happen. One other thing we have in common and I hope it doesn't get interesting for you as it did for us. We had an EMPTY bedroom for SS for FIVE years with his own bed and everything. He stopped sleeping over 5 years ago when we first bought the house (one of the reasons we bought it was so he could have his own room when he came over) - but for privacy reasons I won't state why as it may be too obvious in case of a lurking bio-mom. He was supposed to sleep over as recently as last summer the night before our wedding, but SS called 2 nights before saying he can't (b/c it would be too convenient for DH is my opinion). Anyway, so we have a small house and that was the only empty bedroom... so I get PG and we have DD and we make that room into a nursery - donate the bed that was in there and make it a girly room... and now GUESS who wants to start sleeping over??? That's right... and idiot bio-mom supposedly cried on the phone to DH b/c "she felt so bad for her son". Whatever!!! I guess we should just sit here and tie strings to us so she can be our puppet master. NOT!
Feels good to freely discuss this stuff. Lots of people who don't have these situations do NOT get it. They think the men have it so easy and the "new mommy's" do too or that we are evil and hate S-kids... Sometimes due to the sensitivity of the situation and the guilt he feels, it's hard to even discuss my feelings with DH.
Message edited 7/25/2008 11:00:48 PM.
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| Posted 7/25/08 10:57 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
Posted by clwp
Posted by Bops
Have 10 year old SD- been in her life since she was 4 months old (DH wasn't married to the mom, unplanned kinda thing)...Up until about 18 months ago, had her every other week-end and whenever it was "convenient to the mom to let us see her over and above that...Mom flew over the cookoos nest when DH and I got engaged 8 years ago and has done everything possible to alienate her from us over the years - Things took a major turn for the worse shortly after our DS was born almost 3 years ago and she has turned this poor innocent child on him so badly that she doesnt want to even come over anymore ..Parental alienation at its worst kind- The last time she actually came to us willingly and happily was July 6-July 10 2006 when we took her on a cruise with us- Mom got crazy upset that she was excited to go with us (as with everything else, always tried to downplay it ) and my SD got totally panicked because everytime she tried to call her mom (like her mom told her to) from the boat, she got no answer and from what we gather, she must have had it put in her head that we were trying to kidnap her or something crazy like that (when we got married , my SD was supposed to be our flower girl, 3 days before the wedding the mom sends DH a letter that she wont allow her to be our flower girl for fear that he wouldnt bring her back unless mom could come to our wedding- YEAH right ! Ever since the cruise incident she won't sleep over, and now its come to the point where she won't even come over- I really wish we knew what was being said to her ....We still have her empty room waiting for her hoping that one day, she'll see the light and want to be part of our family again...We talk to our DS about her all the time and have her pics everywhere, and now that we have another baby on the way, I'm sure the mom willl find some crazy reason to bring him back to court again even though DH does over and far beyond everything he is mandated to do and with a smile...So sad that it has to be like this, sorry to ramble, I could take a year to tell everything thats transpired- Just wish it could be different, we miss her
Wow... we too had a crazy bio-mom who thought she was going to come to my wedding. I was so worried about that for a while... of course it didn't happen. One other thing we have in common and I hope it doesn't get interesting for you as it did for us. We had an EMPTY bedroom for SS for FIVE years with his own bed and everything. He stopped sleeping over 5 years ago when we first bought the house (one of the reasons we bought it was so he could have his own room when he came over) - but for privacy reasons I won't state why as it may be too obvious in case of a lurking bio-mom. He was supposed to sleep over as recently as last summer the night before our wedding, but SS called 2 nights before saying he can't (b/c it would be too convenient for DH is my opinion). Anyway, so we have a small house and that was the only empty bedroom... so I get PG and we have DD and we make that room into a nursery - donate the bed that was in there and make it a girly room... and now GUESS who wants to start sleeping over??? That's right... and idiot bio-mom supposedly cried on the phone to DH b/c "she felt so bad for her son". Whatever!!! I guess we should just sit here and tie strings to us so she can be our puppet master. NOT!
Feels good to freely discuss this stuff. Lots of people who don't have these situations do NOT get it. They think the men have it so easy and the "new mommy's" do too or that we are evil and hate S-kids... Sometimes due to the sensitivity of the situation and the guilt he feels, it's hard to even discuss my feelings with DH.
Wow- it truly amazing once you start discussing things how not alone you feel anymore (because sometimes it can be so isolating when no-one close to you, IRL anyway is experiencing it)..I'm sorry you are going through the same thing though- after a while you just feel defeated...People tell my DH, just go to court and make her visit- yeah right, ok so the courts say bad mommy, you are supposed to encourage visitation, she says "ok" then when she gets hoem, the wrath gets worse and the poor DC gets more hurtful feelings toward DH...I think sometimes when its a daughter its even worse to a degree..Ironically my SD mom has an older daughter and put that dad through the same thing...Now that we are having DC #2, my SD room will become my DS bedroom..We contemplated adding an addition onto the house for another BR, back when SD was still staying here (knowing that we were hopefully going to have 2 more DC's) but unfortunatyely it doesnt look like it will be necessary- but if something changes, we will..In the meantime, its really sad looking at all her things (this child had a FULL room , clothes, toys, memorobilia etc..) So, we are packing it up in the hopes she'll want it one day...SD mom handed the photo-album we made for her with pics of her and our DS right in front of her...What would posses these women to be this way !...Anyway, thanks for responding, it feels good to talk about this
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| Posted 7/26/08 11:31 AM |
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JTK
my 4 boys!
Member since 6/06 7396 total posts
Name:
Kristi
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Re: How many Step-Moms out there????
i am!! my stepdaughter is 17
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| Posted 7/26/08 12:32 PM |
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