HUGE DH vent!!!

So, you all know by my posts yesterday that I was quite hormonal- crying over everything..blah blah blah.

Well, I went out of my way to fight traffic in order to go to Barnes and Noble after work and pick up another little gift for Dh for Christmas- it didn't help my mood.

Then I got home and DH tells me he needs me to go somewhere with him today but he can't tell me where.

I knew he wanted me to go to an animal shelter because he's been bugging me for a dog.

He then said that he's already been there and has his eyes on a little pitbull/rottweiler puppy. (Thank Goodness he was dumb enough to tell the woman there that he wanted to "surprise" me with it and she said I had to be there to get it)

I don't know how to make him understand that getting a puppy when I'm 6.5 months pregnant is NOT a good idea. We're still fixing up the house, we both work full time and we ALREADY have his brother living with us.

So, he tells me he saw the puppy at a kill shelter and that we have to go back.

Great thing to tell a hormonal pregnant woman- basically making me feel like a puppy killer.

I'm, sticking to my guns on this one. There is no way I'm going to use my lunch break every day to come home and take care of a dog. No way we're going to afford to replace all the furniture/carpeting it will surely destroy.

I LOVE dogs, and I've wanted one for awhile- it's just that NOW is not the right time (we've never gotten one before because we always lived in non-pet-friendly apartments). It makes me sad that he wants it so bad- but I have to be practical about it.

I'm not wrong- am I?? I told him we'd get one for his first father's day (even though that's still a bit too soon after having a baby...)

Message edited 12/23/2009 10:07:01 AM.

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

No, you are being very practical. Also, he wants a pitbull/rotweiller mix with a baby on the way? Those dogs can definitely be very docile, but those breeds are known for getting violent. Your reasons are all very valid.

Stick to your guns. Bringing a pet into the house is a joint decision and it would be worse to bring it home and realize that you can't care for it, just to bring it back to a shelter.

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I'm an animal lover also but have to agree with you on this one. My DH also has been bugging me for a dog lately, his rationalization is that since I will be home on maternity leave soon, I will have time to train/take care of the puppy. Uh, REALLY???

I think a puppy is a great idea...but like you said, maybe in a few months, or even a year down the road. I think it will be too overwhelming with the work you have to do to the house, taking care of an infant, etc.

Good luck!

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i think you are being practical and should stick to your guns...maybe look into getting a dog after the baby is born, and maybe not a puppy

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Absolutely not the right time to get a dog. Tell him to stay out of the shelters and you'll be ready to address this again when the baby is 6 months to a year old!!

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Posted by jennarose023

i think you are being practical and should stick to your guns...maybe look into getting a dog after the baby is born, and maybe not a puppy

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Imho if it's between now and when u have a little new baby I would go with now. If it's between now and like a year from now it's better to wait though, lol. But my point is if that's not an option I think I'd rather be dealing with puppy messes at 6 1/2 moths preg than while giving constant care to a newborn.

In my experience with puppies the real work lasts about 6 weeks if you're diligent about training, etc. The going home for lunch thing would be super annoying though- is there a dog walker in your neighborhood?

The other thing to think about is that the best way to train a new puppy is to actually have some time off from work when he is new. If you spend a straight week together it really gets a jump on things.

As far as destroying the house most puppies that are tired out really well with a good walk/run in the morning and afternoon will not be destructive. Puppies that are alone all the time and not getting adequate exercise are usually the ones who rip stuff up.

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No way would I get a puppy right now! Thats too much to handle with a baby coming.

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I agree with you 100%. My husband wanted a puppy when my mom was in hospice and I was already very emotional. He then sent me pictures of the kids holding one and I felt so bad for them that they would be losing their grandmother that I agreed.

He has not done ONE thing to train the puppy, and never even took him for his shots or to be fixed. Now 6 months later, he is fed up with this puppy peeing and crapping everywhere and DH wants to bring him to a shelter!

I just posted today on my FB that I want to find a home for him because I cant do it alone anymore. And I wasnt even pregnant when we got him.

Do not back down or you may end up in a situation like mine!

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OMG PLEASE DO NOT BACK DOWN ON THIS!!!!!!!!!!! I have a 3yo dog, who is AWESOME and a 15month DS, (also awesome!) but I cannot overestimate the amount of work this will be for you, both now and once DC arrives. THe timing could NOT be worse, for you, the puppy, and your DC as well. You need TIME with a new puppy, TIME to train it, and love it, and get to know its personality. YOur new baby is going to take EVERY moment you have, and THEN some. I know DH wants it, but PLEASE agree to revisit it at a later date, maybe when DC is six months old, or preferably, next christmas. I am DESPERATELY trying to avoid having that puppy brought back to the shelter after your DC gets here and the reality sets in.
Additionally, from here on in your PG is going to get more taxing, I think it's VERY unfair of DH to put this on you at this point in time!!!!

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I am a animal lover and own a bulldog. Let me tell you I love my dog very much, but latley cleaning up after him, the dog hair constantly having to be vaccumed, and on top of it he has been acting up, he must know somethings gonna change, If i could not have him when baby is born it would be great. But I have to deal with it and have no other choice. Stick to your gut. It will be easier on both of you in the long run. Wait a year!

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Your husband is insane. Absolutely do not get a dog now especially one that will need an enormous amount of training. Just for the record, I LOVE animals (I have three) but they are a lot of work. Why add to your plate that is already full?

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I think your DH is nesting. Hopefully!

A new puppy is a bad idea. A puppy is ALOT of work and this is not the time to add a new job to your list of things to do. For either one of you.

We got our dog many years before we had DS and he was like having a baby, toddler, child and now a teenager. I am not joking they are really like having another child so unless you plan on raising two kids at the same time I would wait until you have well established routine with your LO before bringing in a puppy.

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I love dogs - ALL dogs. - But a Rottie/Pitbull mix you have to be very careful with and take the TIME to train properly especially if it's going to be in a home with children (you'd have to do that w/ ANY breed - but a mixed breed w/ that kind of strength you need to be extra cautious with IMO) -

You are 150% right - the last thing in the world I'd do 3 months before bringing home a baby was bring home a puppy !!!

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pitbull/rottweiler puppy? with a newborn? Sorry, but I would never agree with that. I love rotties, but with a newborn and a dog you don't know that is not a good mix. Plus a puppy is ALOT of work, like imo more work than a baby.

We watched SIL's puppy for a week in August and I was ready to get divorced over the absolute havoc this dog created in our lives, and I am a dog owner & lover!

If it was me the answer would be no way, no how. Not now, he needs to wait!

Message edited 12/23/2009 10:50:09 AM.

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We have a 1 1/2 yaer old maltese and Dh wants to get him a brother or sister to play with so when the baby comes and ALL the attention isnt on him..he will have a buddy! I am like H ELL NO! We will wait until the baby is older to even consider getting another dog. It took a while to convince him, but with this dog we have it took A LOT to train him and it was ME bringing him to work! I am not bringing another puppy to work!

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Your DH doesn't see a problem with having a pitt/rotti mix from a shelter around your new baby??

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I have two dogs....and every day I want to slam my head against the wall because of all the extra work they cause me. Don't get me wrong, I love them and did have them before we started having kids but the stress a dog would bring is so not be worth it at this point in your life.

Also I have a Rottie mix and the FUR that this dog sheds is enough to drive you to drink. A Rottie-Pitt mix also is going to be a HUGE dog. We keep my rottie away from DD not because he has ever given us any indication that he would hurt her but because his mouth is bigger than her head.

Message edited 12/23/2009 11:37:04 AM.

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

This upsets me to hear as much as you. I am such an animal lover it breaks my heart to hear. Maybe he is just bluffing about the type of shelter. I have to agree with the other ladies it would be insane to get a puppy right now. We have a four year old lab, and since getting pregnant it has been harder. We don't have a yard so I have to walk him, and now with the snow I am terrified I will fall. He is well trained too. The only time he gets crazy on the leash if he is playing with another dog. It is a ton of work, and expensive to own a dog. Every time we go to the vet the bill is easily $200 even for a well visit. The flea/tick/heartworm prevention stuff is so expensive. The vaccines are not cheap either. Food is not cheap either.
Also you don't want to bring a puppy in, and then the baby so close together. The dog really needs to be trained well before the baby arrives. Considering you don't have a dog yet I think it is best to wait until after the baby, not right after either. Your DH needs to realize it will be a couple years.
It is just hard b/c puppies are like babies. They have no routine at first, and need constant attention. You have to put a ton of work in at that age for them to grow up well trained. I am worried about the changes and we have had our dog for four years. It is just stress you don't need right now.

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No is NOT the right time for a dog. While I believe your DHs heart is in the right place, I can rest assured guarantee you that you will be exhausted when the baby comes and the dog WILL INDEED suffer as your attention/energy will HAVE to go to the child (over the dog).

I have 2 dogs, 3.5 and 4.5 years old. baby is now one. My dogs are a LOT Of work, I could never imagine getting a dog right before a baby is due or even after the baby comes. I love my dogs and we do everything we can to keep them happy. But many people just find they dont have the energy to take care of both...and often dogs need to be rehomed due to this. Which of course is awful for the dog, to be taken in then given away. I am going to be blunt, if you get a dog NOW, that you really don't feel up to getting, the DOG WILL SUFFER and you WILL wind up having to get rid of the dog...b/c the dog will not be getting what he deserves, teh dog may even act out due to lack of consistency, etc...and you will wind up having to get rid of the dog (if your heart is not in it, and you dont want to break your back to make it work). B/c that's what having a dog/dogs and small babies/infants is....it is exhausting work some days!!! I feel like I have 3 children, not just one...

Dogs need alot of training, attention, care, and love, and consistency....all of which you will be very busy once baby comes.

Now is NOT the time. Maybe when you are done having children, and they are a bit older....3 and up....it would be much better. While he thinks he is helping the dog now...he won't be helping the dog when baby comes and the dog is sad and lonely in your home, b/c he is not the priority anymore.

I speak from experience having 2 dogs. I love my dogs like they are my children BUT....they were here years before baby came and Dh and I practically kill ourselves some days to take care extra good care of our dogs (as well as our baby). We made a comittment to our dogs when we got them years ago....that they would not suffer or be treated like second fiddle when a baby came along. And we work very hard to keep that comittment. Even if you THINK you would do that.....like you have probably heard before, you have no idea how exhausting having a baby is. It is knocking me off my feet, some days I am dragging myself around. Knowing what I know now, if I didnt have my dogs already when baby came, I would not get a dog for years to come until baby was older and more self sufficient. I dont regret my dogs in anyway, they are my furry children. But they def are that, alot of work, just as children are. And that was the comittment I made and I stand by, always will but boy can it be challenging some days.

HTH

Message edited 12/23/2009 12:34:29 PM.

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!