Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

Posted by mrswask

Posted by kahlua716



I'm printing this thread out to show him.

He says that "everyone" (who knows who "everyone" is) says that he needs to stand up to me because I say no to everything.
.

OK - this statement just seriously made me see red!!! He needs to stand up to you
???? Tell him to grow the H up - he's going to become a dad in a few months - he needs to stop acting like a spoiled little boy who has to have a puppy now!!!

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

I'm sorry your DH is acting like this -- he is being a baby about it and its not fair to you.

Remind him that not only is it a lot of work and you just don't want to deal with it right now, that having that type of dog can negatively affect your Homeowner's insurance policy on your home.

You have to let your homeowner's insurance know about the dog, and chances are they might even raise your policy, due to the fact that a dog from those breeds are considered "viscious dogs" (I do not agree with that statement, but that's how insurance companies deal with it).

I really hope you guys can work thru this, and he understands that you are not saying "no" - you are just saying "now now."

Perhaps you have to say "no" to things because he is unreasonable in his requests! Did "everyone" ever think of THAT?!

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

Tell him that it is not a forever no, just a no for now. We just got a dog about 6 weeks ago when my babies were just over 10 months. He's an older dog, so not really much work at all. However, there is no way in hell I would have gotten a puppy - I did not need a third baby in the house. I also would have not entertained the thought of a dog while I was pregnant or when the babies were still very tiny.

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

A lot has been said already but I wanted to add one more thing... You should remind him to do what is right for the DOG, not his own wants and needs. If every member of your family is not completely committed to a 15 year relationship with this dog, then you're not doing the right thing.

And if he did truly care about doing right by it, the "when" of this scenario shouldn't matter - he should be willing to wait until it is the right time even if that means a year or two from now.

If he doesn't care about all this, it sounds more like wanting a possession more than a new family member. He might have a problem too because now that he's told people and he thinks it's become a battle of wills with you, his pride will be hurt if he doesn't get one now.

But you have to do the right thing and if the shelter asks you for your blessing, please don't give it. I think your head is in the right place, and I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns here.

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

I totally agree with you. My DH has been wanting to get a new kitten (we had two cats, one vanished in Oct 2007 the other died Oct 2008) We were just about to get a new one in May when I found out I was pregnant. There is no way I want to take on a pet and a baby at the same time. They require a lot of time and money and we just have to focus on our baby right now. I think you should wait until the baby is a few years old before getting a pet and quite frankly, I am not a fan of pitbulls (even if he is a mix) - NO THANK YOU!

You should stick to your guns, you are 100% right!

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

Do not get a puppy!!!!!!!!! i agree- now would be too much to handle- I would wait until at least 6 months after you have the baby

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

Honestly you are not wrong but you'd be much better off getting the dog now as opposed to when you have a baby. My DH surprised me on Mothers day with a puppy, I had a 10 mos old. DH came home everyday to me hysterical crying. When your baby needs you and your puppy needs to go out its very difficult. I am a dog lover and have had many through my life....this is a great dog, but I never got attached to him. Almost 3 yrs later I could give him away tomorrow and not even bat an eyelash. I think its bc of all the stress it put on me when we first got him.

Eta: I'm not saying you should get one now, but I think its a worse idea to get one when your child is a few mos old. Just myy opinion

Message edited 12/23/2009 6:11:27 PM.

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

OMG... If its a dog already trained then maybe it wouldn't be THAT bad... If its a puppy then i'd say def. not now... DH and I got a german shepherd puppy in July, she is 7.5 months right now and I am almost 6 months along and boy was it tough...A puppy is like raising a newborn baby while pregnant. Not to mention that now she is 75 lbs and thinks she's 25 and a lap dog. and being a puppy still she's still jumping and biting. I would wait to get a dog at the stage your in in your pregnancy. I know it is so hard to turn away when you think of the outcome but you also have to be sure you will be able to take care of it too.

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

You are not wrong...this is not the time to get a dog IMO, that is the decision DH and I made...good luck!

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

i also agree with you. i have a teacup yorkie (she is only about 5 lbs) and she was my baby before DS was born - I would dress her up, put clips in her hair, take her out with me. then DS came along and I just couldnt deal with 2 babies anymore... i treated her like a baby and she was just so jealous of DS. it got way too much for me. my in-laws ended up taking her to help me out when DS was a couple months old and they still have her (he is 28 months now ). To be fair, i have asked for her back, but they have become so attached to her they beg us to keep her -- so we visit her all the time and i know she is happy there. anyway, my pt is, you are so right - this is the worst timing. a baby is a big enough adjustment, you dont need a new dog right now!

Re: HUGE DH vent!!!

As much as I love dogs and would love to take in more I'd have to say you are definitely right. In this case, he has to respect your feelings. Adopting a dog is not a one sided thing, the whole family has to be ready and agree to it