I am just gonna say it

I do not think I am a big complainer on this site(maybe I am wrong )
But it bothers me to no end when people talk about planning to have their babies during a particular month because of the weather, or other family birthdays, etc. I realize that getting pregnant and staying pregnant is easy for a lot of people but UGH! It just irks me, I WISH it were that easy.
There I said it. Flame away if you must!

Re: I am just gonna say it

I couldn't agree more!!!

Re: I am just gonna say it

JK!

Re: I am just gonna say it

when dh talk about having #2 thats how he talks...me I tell him it sounds good in theory but it doesn't always work out that way... After he heard about some friends and their struggles I think he has a better understanding on just how lucky we are...

If you want to make God laugh just tell him your plan

...no flames...I know what your saying

Re: I am just gonna say it

I agree...it took me 3 years to get pregnant with baby #2....I didn't care what day, month of the year this one is born

Re: I am just gonna say it

Re: I am just gonna say it

Anyone can prefer a month but planning is not possible. To some it MAY happen but I bet it's rare. It took us 6 months but I don't see anything wrong with someone just stating they'd prefer a month over another. I can't lie. . .I hated maternity leave over the winter. . .if I *could* actually plan it the next time around (which is not possible) I'd prefer an August baby but it's not going to happen like that.

Edited - b/c I can't type correctly

Message edited 1/12/2011 7:12:18 PM.

Re: I am just gonna say it

Well, I'm a planner. A big one.

I wanted to have Tyler in May because then DH wouldn't have had to go to a wedding in Mexico without me (true story. Swine flu broke out and he didn't go anyway) and then he would be home all summer with me and the baby....Didn't get pregnant.

I wanted to have the baby in June bc DH would be home all summer....Didn't get pregnant.

Wanted to have the baby in July and August - obviously to have DH home.... Didn't get pregnant.

Wanted to have the baby in September. It's DH's craziest month ever, and the most inconvenient horrible time to have a baby for him - but I didn't care...I just wanted that baby....Didn't get pregnant.

I FINALLY got pregnant with an October baby. It was fine. I made it work, and I'm just happy I was able to have a baby.

I think that by nature people plan. They try to do things so they work out to fit in best. We will be trying for a third. I would prefer not to have a baby between Nov-Mar because Tyler was SO sick the entire winter when he was just a newborn. I hated seeing him like that. Obviously, it's all out of my control and I will gladly take a baby whenever it happens but I would prefer April-August.

Don't hate me

ETA: We will actually start trying in March (which would give us a winter baby) but I figure it took me awhile to get pregnant with both boys so it will happen again. If God gives me a baby on the first shot you can bet your assss that I will be jumping up and down

Message edited 1/12/2011 7:13:28 PM.

Re: I am just gonna say it

Re: I am just gonna say it

Posted by Diana1215

Well, I'm a planner. A big one.

I wanted to have Tyler in May because then DH wouldn't have had to go to a wedding in Mexico without me (true story. Swine flu broke out and he didn't go anyway) and then he would be home all summer with me and the baby....Didn't get pregnant.

I wanted to have the baby in June bc DH would be home all summer....Didn't get pregnant.

Wanted to have the baby in July and August - obviously to have DH home.... Didn't get pregnant.

Wanted to have the baby in September. It's DH's craziest month ever, and the most inconvenient horrible time to have a baby for him - but I didn't care...I just wanted that baby....Didn't get pregnant.

I FINALLY got pregnant with an October baby. It was fine. I made it work, and I'm just happy I was able to have a baby.

I think that by nature people plan. They try to do things so they work out to fit in best. We will be trying for a third. I would prefer not to have a baby between Nov-Mar because Tyler was SO sick the entire winter when he was just a newborn. I hated seeing him like that. Obviously, it's all out of my control and I will gladly take a baby whenever it happens but I would prefer April-August.

Don't hate me

ETA: We will actually start trying in March (which would give us a winter baby) but I figure it took me awhile to get pregnant with both boys so it will happen again. If God gives me a baby on the first shot you can bet your assss that I will be jumping up and down

Re: I am just gonna say it

Posted by ChrisDee

Posted by Diana1215

Well, I'm a planner. A big one.

I wanted to have Tyler in May because then DH wouldn't have had to go to a wedding in Mexico without me (true story. Swine flu broke out and he didn't go anyway) and then he would be home all summer with me and the baby....Didn't get pregnant.

I wanted to have the baby in June bc DH would be home all summer....Didn't get pregnant.

Wanted to have the baby in July and August - obviously to have DH home.... Didn't get pregnant.

Wanted to have the baby in September. It's DH's craziest month ever, and the most inconvenient horrible time to have a baby for him - but I didn't care...I just wanted that baby....Didn't get pregnant.

I FINALLY got pregnant with an October baby. It was fine. I made it work, and I'm just happy I was able to have a baby.

I think that by nature people plan. They try to do things so they work out to fit in best. We will be trying for a third. I would prefer not to have a baby between Nov-Mar because Tyler was SO sick the entire winter when he was just a newborn. I hated seeing him like that. Obviously, it's all out of my control and I will gladly take a baby whenever it happens but I would prefer April-August.

Don't hate me

ETA: We will actually start trying in March (which would give us a winter baby) but I figure it took me awhile to get pregnant with both boys so it will happen again. If God gives me a baby on the first shot you can bet your assss that I will be jumping up and down

I do not hate! I guess because of my situation, I was never able to even consider the timing of it. I actuallly never even let myself think about my future babies Bday even after I was p/g because I was p/g 6 times. I never allowed myself to believe it was even true I did not tell a sole other than my mom and DH and one friend when I was p/g with Peyton(p/g #6) until I was about 18-20 weeks. DH and DD#1 told everyone after I had my amnio. I could not bring myself to utter the words. Even when people started asking, I would defer to them to answer. I have issues, I KNOW!

Re: I am just gonna say it

I'm definitely not planning on another child, but had a plan in place with DS. I did NOT want to get pregnant between Aug-Dec. because that would mean giving birth in the summer. I would lose out on $THOUSANDS$ of dollars because I wouldn't get paid (I'm a teacher and don't get paid over the summer) So, my plan was to try from Jan-July, stop, and then start again the following January. Luckily, I got pg on the first try, but if it didn't work out, I would've taken that break, no doubt in my mind!!!

I gave birth in Oct. and got paid until Jan. while on Maternity leave. Not bad for planning it out!!! $$$$ My friend who gave birth in early July got $0...

Re: I am just gonna say it

Dh and I married young, we wanted to be "young parents"... It took us almost 10 years to finally have a healthy baby. So much for that "plan".

Re: I am just gonna say it

Re: I am just gonna say it

Posted by Diana1215

Well, I'm a planner. A big one.

I wanted to have Tyler in May because then DH wouldn't have had to go to a wedding in Mexico without me (true story. Swine flu broke out and he didn't go anyway) and then he would be home all summer with me and the baby....Didn't get pregnant.

I wanted to have the baby in June bc DH would be home all summer....Didn't get pregnant.

Wanted to have the baby in July and August - obviously to have DH home.... Didn't get pregnant.

Wanted to have the baby in September. It's DH's craziest month ever, and the most inconvenient horrible time to have a baby for him - but I didn't care...I just wanted that baby....Didn't get pregnant.

I FINALLY got pregnant with an October baby. It was fine. I made it work, and I'm just happy I was able to have a baby.

I think that by nature people plan. They try to do things so they work out to fit in best. We will be trying for a third. I would prefer not to have a baby between Nov-Mar because Tyler was SO sick the entire winter when he was just a newborn. I hated seeing him like that. Obviously, it's all out of my control and I will gladly take a baby whenever it happens but I would prefer April-August.

Don't hate me

ETA: We will actually start trying in March (which would give us a winter baby) but I figure it took me awhile to get pregnant with both boys so it will happen again. If God gives me a baby on the first shot you can bet your assss that I will be jumping up and down

Re: I am just gonna say it

Aww I can imagine that if I went through what you did, I'd feel the same way You feel what you feel, nothing wrong with that

Re: I am just gonna say it

I completely understand what you mean! I had two m/c before having DS and I just wanted to have a healthy baby and I would get so annoyed when I would hear people say how they were planning out and "I don't want to get pregnant this month because ..."

Now when I hear people say that I just laugh because as the saying goes "you make plans and God laughs"

Re: I am just gonna say it

Ok then I'll say it too.

People can't "plan" when to have a baby. They plan when not to have one. As someone who didn't want to have a baby in the winter months & didn't, I see nothing wrong with preferences. I did get pregnant & stay pregnant easily. Because I did, it didn't make my witnessing the sting of infertility among my friends any less painful.

There is not a finite number of babies in this world available. If someone has a preference on month, season or gender, it has no bearing on anyone else's chances.

I wish everyone could magically get pregnant when they wanted to, but no it doesn't happen & it is unfair. I'm sorry for your troubles.

Re: I am just gonna say it

While I am really a to each their own type of person, I agree with this.

It was so hard for me to get pregnant with Sienna (9+ miserable depressing months, including almost a year of prednisone daily and then prednisone my first tri). I know it was harder for others even. I think I speak for many people when I say the second I saw the word PREGNANT on the stick, nothing else mattered.

Re: I am just gonna say it

I can honestly say... I tried to make "plans" and God did laugh at me..... each time!!!

Let me not start off w/ my "practice" marriage. Ended up getting divorced, hence "practice".

Ended up meeting my DH, but, got pg w/ before we were even engaged. DD had stopped growing at the end of my pregnancy, so we had to induce.

After was born, due to my age etc. we wanted another baby.
Got pg on the first try, lost that baby via m/c.
2 & 1/2 very LONG years, 5 losses later, I'm finally at the end of my pregnancy (37 weeks today) w/ Went through infertility treatments; eventually IVF to have this baby.

Now, to answer the post... after all that, before I had a child or even tried, I swore that I didn't want my children to be born in a certain month. (I realize I'm a crazy person, it mainly had to do w/ Zodiac signs- like I said- crazy!!) Well, DD is a Cancer, that was on my list to avoid.

The ONLY thing I ask now, is for my son NOT to be born tomorrow!!!!! I never wanted a Jan. baby, especially a boy. My ex-husband's b-day is tomorrow and he's the devil!

In the grand scheme of life, and after everything I've been through, I am happy to be finally be blessed with what I've prayed for every day for 3 years. I finally have a healthy baby on the way and will really only be "happy" once this baby is in my arms. I'm still scared something could go wrong.

I think it's ok to try to plan when "not" to have a baby, but as we all know, it doesn't always work out the way we want.

** By the way, my DD... sweetest little thing on the face of this earth! I couldn't be happier she's a "cancer" sign and thank GOD every day she is.

Re: I am just gonna say it

Re: I am just gonna say it

I agree with you. It took me 18 months to get pregnant, and then I had a miscarriage.
But when people have either never tried, or are very lucky to get pregnant quickly, they don't know what it is like to walk in those shoes.

Re: I am just gonna say it

Message edited 1/12/2011 10:23:08 PM.

Re: I am just gonna say it

I'm sorry that people have trouble getting/staying pregnant BUT in a "perfect" world, given the opportunity to pick a month, I think most people would.

Re: I am just gonna say it

I agree I went through infertility treatment to have my baby girl, however I always say now.next time I will plan for a winter baby because the heat was horrible for me in the summer. in reality I would just be happy to get pregnant again and wouldn't care when the baby was born as.long as it is healthy