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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
So, my MIL has been constantly asking how much weight I'm gaining -- she's worried I wasnt gaining enough. I'm 22 weeks and thus-far have only gained about 5lbs.
Meanwhile, I saw her for dinner last night and she tells me "wow, you're all belly! Except, your face looks a little fuller..."  Gee, thanks...so I have a fat face.
Well, today my mom comes home and tells me that she got an email from my MIL (they're doing the shower together so they correspond via email for that reason) and my MIL said at the bottom of the email that "Jenn looked cute when I saw her. She's carrying well but I noticed that her face got pudgy. Did you notice that?"
ARE YOU SERIOUS???? What was the necessity to ask my mother if she noticed my face got fat AFTER she already said it to me last night?! And now my mom comes home and says to me that "you really have only gained 5lbs so far? Because your arms looks bigger and so does your butt."
I'm not complaining about my weight -- what I've gained is such a small amount so far and I know I'll gain more. But I dont see the need for people to tell me that I look like I've gained more that I really have, or that basically I look fat. I'm smaller than my mom ever was, so why is she on my back now. And why was it necessary for MIL to point out that I look chubby in the face? I really thought I was looking good this pregnancy and now they've made me basically feel like total cr@p. 
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Posted 3/31/09 11:01 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Wow, that is RUDE RUDE RUDE!!!! Who does she think she is to talk about you like that!?!?!
I would be livid, and DH would hear about it! I wish I had more advice, I can't stand my MIL either and if she said anything like this, I'd be through the roof....I've already kept my distance but if this happened I would definitely rarely talk to her
I'm sorry, that is SO mean of her, and you don't deserve to be treated like that!
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| Posted 3/31/09 11:06 PM |
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Malishka31
LIF Infant
Member since 2/09 373 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
i dont think they mean anything bad by it.
2 things to consider though, 1 is that i dont know what your cultural background is but i am Russian/Jewish and it is acceptable in my family for someone to say you have a fat A** go drop some weight type of deal b/c they feel if they dont tell you , you dont know yourself, and no one else will tell you.
The other thing is that maybe they are concerened about your health b/c if you gain a certain way where it seems you are more swollen in your face and extremeties you may retaining water which was believed back then to be a sign of pre eclamsia(it is not anymore)
But aside form those things she could just be really tactless and a bi-otch
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| Posted 3/31/09 11:14 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
even if she didn't have bad intentions, that is NOT the way to say it....
and its not her mom, its her MIL....a lot of people in my culture speak very bluntly about weight too, but my mom would NEVER say it like that to me, and forget it if my MIL did, I'd be pizzed
I don't care what the excuse is, I think its rude  I'm actually mad for you, probably cause I can't stand my MIL and the thought of her saying something like that would make me crazy!
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| Posted 3/31/09 11:18 PM |
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pig22seal
LOVE MY 2 BOYS!
Member since 5/07 1877 total posts
Name:
Carissa
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
I certainly don't think it is right that your weight is being discussed and I k now how you feel.
When people (in our family, mostly DH's) ask me how much weight I have gained....I feel no need to lie, so I tell them the truth. 60 lbs. My MIL get's so embarrassed and try's to say that I didn't because I was underweight. How RUDE~!
Well, I hope you feel better - try to ignore or laugh off the rude comments.....
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| Posted 3/31/09 11:31 PM |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Posted by Malishka31
i dont think they mean anything bad by it.
2 things to consider though, 1 is that i dont know what your cultural background is but i am Russian/Jewish and it is acceptable in my family for someone to say you have a fat A** go drop some weight type of deal b/c they feel if they dont tell you , you dont know yourself, and no one else will tell you.
I agree with this. I'm Italian and my grandmother actually takes it as a compliment to say you gained a bit of weight 
But I know how you feel - I recently saw my family for the second time this pregnancy - the first time I was about 6 weeks and the second I was around 21. I totally got picked apart and felt like no one even looked at my face, they were all staring at my stomach! And there were comments about how my nose got wider, I gained in my thighs/butt, etc - all from my mom, my grandmother, and two of my aunts. Unfortunately, when you're pregnant, your body is not your own!
You should focus on the compliment your MIL gave you instead - she said you looked cute!  And I'm sure you're adorable! Feel good about yourself - you're making a person!!!! 
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| Posted 4/1/09 6:20 AM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
How rude!!!
See i'm at the point where i can't control what i say back to people anymore. So I would have said back, I'm with child, what's your excuse!
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| Posted 4/1/09 7:45 AM |
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alisonggg
Cutie
Member since 3/06 4749 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Sounds like my MIL..... I gain too little she has something to say, I gain too much she has something to say.... I think her comments were rude and you should def try not to let them get to you
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| Posted 4/1/09 8:09 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Wow! You're pregnant! Many Moms-to-be gain in the face! I know my Mom did! I don't understand why she feels the need to point this out. Try not to let what she says get to you. I know it's easier said than done. 5lbs in 22wks is great!
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| Posted 4/1/09 8:09 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
You have to just ignore them -
Unfortunately, when you are PG, people seem to think it's suddenly less hurtful to TELL you 'where' you've gained your weight -
I guess b/c it's the one time you're 'allowed' to gain, but if you gain too much, you gained TOO much, if you don't gain enough, ***** is wrong with you? Why aren't you eating? Stop obsessing over your weight blah blah -
You can't win -
STFU !!!
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| Posted 4/1/09 9:08 AM |
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Mere09
So Dam* Lucky
Member since 10/08 6368 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Wow. I'd hate to hear what they would say about me! I've already gained 50lbs at 30 weeks!! 
My family hasn't seen me yet this whole pregnancy other than a couple of pictures (we live 1,000 miles apart). I'm going down to visit them in 2 weeks and I'm scared of all the comments I'm gonna get since they're used to seeing me so thin.
I can understand why their comments would bother you. I don't understand why people feel the need to say things like that to someone who is supposed to be gaining weight, and you have gained so little! It's easy for me to say "just ignore them" but I know how hard that can be to do. Hang in there! I'm sure you look fabulous!!
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| Posted 4/1/09 9:19 AM |
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JsWife
His laugh, Her smile
Member since 12/06 2902 total posts
Name:
Patricia
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Very rude! What is the point of saying something like that let alone mentioning it to your mother in an e-mail..... Argh!
What about her when she was pg? How much weight did she gain? If it was a lot I would start asking her about how she dealt with it, etc... passive aggressive but it might make you feel better to get her to talk about how much worse off she was...
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| Posted 4/1/09 9:25 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
I know it stink, but just let it roll off your back. People are gonna make comments but they usually don't mean anything by it.
My mom called me fat a couple of weeks ago and my MIL called me chubby a few times last night because my belly was full and popping out a bit. I know they are both more excited than anything else and they aren't saying things to be mean- they just think they're funny.
If you know what you look like and feel like you look good- then who cares what they say!
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| Posted 4/1/09 9:31 AM |
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gabbie83
2 girls <3
Member since 6/08 3037 total posts
Name:
gabbie
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Posted by MarisaK
You have to just ignore them -
Unfortunately, when you are PG, people seem to think it's suddenly less hurtful to TELL you 'where' you've gained your weight -
I guess b/c it's the one time you're 'allowed' to gain, but if you gain too much, you gained TOO much, if you don't gain enough, ***** is wrong with you? Why aren't you eating? Stop obsessing over your weight blah blah -
You can't win -
STFU !!!
I agree, you can't win. Im 20 weeks gained about 8 lbs. Last week my mom said OMG you're not eating look at you, you can see the bones by your collar bone, it was never like this. THen 2 days later she says OMG you got bigger, you really popped.
 you cant win either way!!!!
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| Posted 4/1/09 9:31 AM |
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Myababy
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 1171 total posts
Name:
Shira
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
that really sucks, I would be upset too. People really think they can say anything when you're pregnant I don't get it!!!! Honestly this is supposed to be the one time in our lives that weight shouldn't matter and it is so not like that anymore. If it makes you feel any better I had a woman say the same thing to me about my face that I had only met 2x in my life!! she was like I think you're having a girl, your face put on weight since last time I saw you.... oh thanks lady.
Some other guy at a grocery store asked me if I'm due tomorrow when I was only 7 mos. and I wasn't even that big?!?! People can be so rude its hard not to get upset but honestly we are growing a human inside of us- we don't have much control over what we look like and everyone is different, just try not to think about what other people say and enjoy this time while you can!!
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| Posted 4/1/09 9:44 AM |
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bellaluna
Baby come on out!
Member since 11/08 1934 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Another idiot comment . Some people just don't know what to say and if my mom dared comment on my weight, I would rip her a new one!
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| Posted 4/1/09 9:46 AM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Posted by BeachMom
How rude!!!
See i'm at the point where i can't control what i say back to people anymore. So I would have said back, I'm with child, what's your excuse!
Me too!
I'm tired of shutting my mouth when others can't control their rude comments
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| Posted 4/1/09 10:02 AM |
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
I obv don't know your MIL so I am only going on an assumption here, but is it possible that she is just concerned that you may be retaining water - preeclampsia? I know that is my mom's biggest concern and she makes a comment on my face every time I see her! It's annoying but I know that she only does it because she wants the best for me and  .
If that's not the case then your MIL is just rude!
Sorry that you're going through this!
If it makes you feel better, I've gained 13lbs in 24 weeks 
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| Posted 4/1/09 10:05 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Message edited 1/17/2012 11:01:04 AM.
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| Posted 4/1/09 10:25 AM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
I can understand you being hurt, but it really doesn't sound like MIL was ill-intentioned. I thing when people are PG everybody is watching them grow and those who love them are just interested. Especially if you don't know what you're having yet, it's fun for them to try to guess, based on where you're gaining weight. I know I'm 33 weeks and I've only gained 6lbs. People still comment about how I haven't gained in my face or my a** so I must be having a boy.
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| Posted 4/1/09 10:33 AM |
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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
That is such a RUDE thing to say from both your MIL and your mother. When your pregnant there is obviously going to be weight gain! It's going to happen and it happens to every woman differently. Next time they say something about your weight say something back that makes them feel like crap like they made you feel!! Im 21 weeks and my FIL last weekend rubbed my belly and says how much i have sprouted!! A**! I turned arpund to him and rubbed his big beer belly and said "My how you have sprouted!!" My MIL laughed. Give it right back to them or tell them that you don't appreciate weight comments and your body will gain when and wherever it wants to!!
Enjoy your pregnancy!!
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| Posted 4/1/09 10:54 AM |
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Lizzy
Carson's Mama
Member since 2/08 2430 total posts
Name:
Elisabeth
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Posted by HomeIsWithU
"wow, you're all belly! Except, your face looks a little fuller..."
My MIL said the same thing. Except trade out "little fuller" for "fat" 
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| Posted 4/1/09 1:18 PM |
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Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
i walked into my mom's house 2 weeks ago to this comment, 'ooooooooooooooo, you're fat, but i know what's in there'.
thanks mom - i have lost 14 pounds - but i still can't win.....does ANYONE wonder why i have such severe self esteem issues??????
i'm so sorry!
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| Posted 4/1/09 1:22 PM |
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Shelleybean11
Mommy of 2!
Member since 12/08 11013 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Wow that is SO rude!! I am so sorry.
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| Posted 4/1/09 1:28 PM |
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DanandNette
Love my baby boy!
Member since 9/08 2830 total posts
Name:
Jennette
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Re: I cant believe she said this!!! (MIL rant)
Your weight is nobody's business. It is between and your doctor. Some people, I genuinely believe aren't trying to be hurtful but say those things because they have absolutely nothing else to talk about....
I'm so sorry!
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| Posted 4/1/09 2:02 PM |
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