I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

This is going to be a little long.....

Hannah has been talking in full sentences at about 18 months...About a month after we moved in to the new house Feb 26, she started to develop a stutter. After about 3 weeks of stuttering, Greg finally agreed that maybe we should see someone to talk to them about it. she didnt do it all the time, just when she was tired or something. we saw some person that you see before you do the whole early intervention thing, and he said that it sounds like it is an emotional thing- the whole moving into a new house, emerson starting to walk and get around- and this is the kicker, it was MY fault too, bc i have started up a new business and i am not home all the time and she isnt used to that too (which was great, i have cried a NUMBER of times thinking that me making our family a BETTER life with my new business resulted in my daughters stuttering!!!!! he said that maybe she feels like i am so busy that she feels like she has to rush through everything she says or else i am going to walk away!!! and THAT made me feel REALLY great- being as i only shoot on gregs days off-he works 4 on 4 off and sometimes i wont even SHOOT on that 4th day so that i can hang with everyone, and i have NEVER been gone from the house for more than 6 hours!!!) the thing that also concerned me about it was that she would stop herself while she was trying to get it out and say "I cant talk!!!"

so thats that...

then it stopped....

and it kicked back in a few weeks ago, and now it is REALLY bad- so bad that it might take her 30 seconds to get out the first word that she is trying to say- and i hate it....i want to do something but i dont know what to do, i dont know how to act, and the biggest thing i feel like is hard to deal with is when we are in public, and a stranger talks to her and she starts stuttering to them, i dont want them to think she is dumb or something, but i feel like stuttering is one of those things that kids and people make fun of, you know??? it is just SO HARD to deal with as a parent...i feel like she is going to get made fun of and stuff, and i just dont know what to do anymore...

thanks for getting this far- i had to get it out to there after today- it was just a bad day for her stuttering wise, and all i want to do it just hold her and tell her its okay (oh, and now she doesnt say "I cant talk!!" anymore.....now she doesnt even notice it......)

i dont know.....i just dont know...........

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

I am so sorry Summer. I don't have any advice but here are some hugs. Please don't let the mans comments hurt you. Having a business is good for you and your family. You shouldn't feel guilty.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

First of all You are doing a fantastic job of helping to provide your family with a better life by starting up and maintaining your own successful business! Not to mention you are teaching your DD how to be a strong, intelligent, creative and unafraid woman by doing so. I applaud you! Whomever you spoke with regarding your DD's stuttering, may or may not be correct in his assessment of why she is having trouble, but try to not let it get you down. It is not your fault and your DD will get thru this!! Have you spoken with your ped regarding the problem? Does she/he have other speech therapists that you could talk to? Hang in there Mommy. She will grow out of this. Just continue being the supportive and loving Mom that you are and she will get there in no time!!

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

First of all I am so sorry that Hannah is going through this. I don't have experience with stuttering but I know exactly what you mean about dealing with it in public. I too went though this with my son when he would talk to people. I would dread going to parties or to play groups. Not that he didn't talk clearly but he goes off on these tangints and people just look at him. He has gotten better but I sometimes feel like I have to explain for him. He was diagonsed with ADHD this past year and it broke my heart. You just want your child to be accepted and people to think that he/she is as perfect as you know they are. Hannah is a beautiful little girl and you will get through this with her. Maybe you should go for a second opinion. If you need to talk FM me.

I just want to add I agree with the above poster. Just keep telling reassuring her that it is ok and to take her time with what she is thinking and trying to say.

Message edited 5/23/2009 12:14:07 AM.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

It's so hard to see DC's struggle!!! With that being said YOU know that you are providing your DC's with a hec of a lot more time with Mommy than they ever would have gotten if you stayed at your other profession.....

You know DC's deal with change in different ways and once Hannah gets used to her surroundings and your schedule maybe things will change....or they may not. But you know there are plenty of early intervetionists out there as well as speech therapists and you'll find the right one for her and your family!!!

Try and act the same as you did before her stutter began....let her know it's okay to take her time getting the words out....as for other people....s c r e w them!!! lol...

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

Never allow someone to tell you that things are your fault, even a tiny bit. Life is always changing and kids take time to adapt. Can you have an evaluation with another person? If you're not comfortable with a lack of diagnosis then I think you can ask for more help.

That being said: DS is not up to that stage yet, but we have a family member that went through that just a few years ago. He went through stages and his parents were distraught. I know the mom felt bad because she always felt like explaining herself to us when we had family GTG. We needed no apologies. We let him take his time when he wanted to talk with us.

I know he went for speech therapy and I remember the mom saying that they said that many kids go through it with changes in their lives. (Even small changes like teeth coming in, tooth loss, growth spurts, his favorite tv show being canceled, etc.) I know she said that she thought he was 'done' with the stuttering and then it would get worse for a few months at a time. Today he has outgrown it.

Like I said, kids go through life changes whether we realize it or not. Working is not a bad thing and don't you ever think that.

Message edited 5/23/2009 2:47:47 AM.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't believe it is as all your fault. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to make a better life for your daughters. Hang in there and don't let people get you down.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

Summer... working in schools, I have a very good friend who is a speech pathologist who does early intervention. I can give you her name and information if you want her to come do an evaluation or give you suggestions.

whoever you had come is completely wrong. the changes you have made in their lives are for the best, and for someone to put the blame on you is absolutely terrible! To me, her actually saying "I cant talk" signifies its something blocking her from talking with ease, not her trying to rush through what she is saying...

Whatever you do, I hope this improves for you and your family. Please, do not put the blame on yourself. You are just doing what is best for your family!!!

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

im so sorry that someone made you feel like it is your fault

and im sorry that DD is struggerling you are a wonderful mom ....

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

Many

I am sure Hannah will be fine. I would definitely seek another opinion and get some answers. If it is pschological than maybe you can get her in with a child therapist or something to help figure out the real cause.

Also...my DH stuttered as a kid. He totally grew out of it, and only ever does now if he is REALLY tired and even then it is rare.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

Hi Summer~ I literally JUST attended a workshop that was solely about stuttering in children.

At Hanna's age disfluencies are VERY common. Their vocabulary is just exploding with new words and often their little articulators (tongue, lips) just can't move as quickly. Some children just do it more than others.

Preschoolers *generally* aren't even aware they are stuttering. Often it's more the parent's concern rather than the child. It's my understanding that MOST children who begin stuttering at the preschool age spontaneously recover within 18 months of onset. This means without services, the stuttering stops. That said, the fact that she has shown frustration ("I can't talk") warrants an evaluation, IMO.

I don't have all my information from the workshop on me, but here is a GREAT websites to help you with information.
Stuttering Foundation of America- preschool

The one thing I can recommend: even though it is upsetting to see/hear, you MUST try not to draw attention to it when it occurs. Even fluency treatment in little ones is about indirect rather than direct therapy. Let her finish her sentences, DON'T tell her to stop or slow down. try to remain as passive and calm as possible when it is occuring. Additionally, when YOU are talking to her, model slow speech. Many times, that indirectly gets a child to slow her rate down.

Please know that her age and many other factors are on her side for this to stop.

Please FM me if you want to talk more.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

I just wanted to add in that I believe stuttering around 3 years old is actually a developmental thing. Their brains are working so fast with all of their vocabulary and ideas that their mouths cannot keep up. The important thing is to let your daughter get her words out on her own. My son recently started doing this as well. Sometimes I feel like it is forever to get idea out...and sometimes he even forgets what he was going to say mid stutter.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

I saw that EI wasn't much help. Personally, if you are concerned and with her already being frustrated, you might want to seek a private therapist who specializes in fluency disorders.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

So sorry about everything. I don't have much advice other than in NO way would I blame myself. It's wonderful that you have your own business and plenty of moms work and their children are just fine. The best thing you can do for yourself and for your DD is to just find a way to help her get through this and to not shoulder all this blame and guilt. You're a great mom doing the best for your family. I hope it all works out!

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

I have to tell you my daughter used to stutter too when she got excited. Now that she is 4 it has stopped. I have heard many of her friends do the same. If you need the name of a private speech therapist I have a 2 friends that are speech therapist. Both are mommies and teachers as well.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

Please call me if you want/need to talk.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

I have no advice, but it seems that Porruss offered you some great info. Lots and lots of hugs!!!

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

ITA agree with both Amy and Kelly. Her brain is just working faster than her mouth can. I see this a lot in day care especially with early talkers. I would just let her take her time when she is talking to you and let her completely finish what she is saying without any help. Patience is key with stuttering, which because of what you do I know you have tons of. I am sure moving to a new home and starting a new business is very overwhelming to you and your DH, so it is only natural for it be be for you DD's too. I am sure it wil go away as she gets older.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

Posted by waterspout4



Never allow someone to tell you that things are your fault, even a tiny bit. Life is always changing and kids take time to adapt. Can you have an evaluation with another person? If you're not comfortable with a lack of diagnosis then I think you can ask for more help.

Like I said, kids go through life changes whether we realize it or not. Working is not a bad thing and don't you ever think that.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

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Posted by Stacey1403

ITA agree with both Amy and Kelly. Her brain is just working faster than her mouth can. I see this a lot in day care especially with early talkers. I would just let her take her time when she is talking to you and let her completely finish what she is saying without any help. Patience is key with stuttering, which because of what you do I know you have tons of. I am sure moving to a new home and starting a new business is very overwhelming to you and your DH, so it is only natural for it be be for you DD's too. I am sure it wil go away as she gets older.

Message edited 5/23/2009 9:10:45 AM.

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

My little sister stuttered BADLY at around the same age...she was also an early talker and very verbal...we would just be patient with her, and it was a phase that did eventually pass...I don't remember how long it lasted but I do remember the doctor saying how normal it was for little kids to do this as they're thoughts are ahead of their words. It will go away, don't worry too much!!

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

first I am sorry

second - my neice studdered badly when she was about 2 and she eventually grew out of it. We just didn't acknowledge it or make a big deal of it. Sometimes a friend/family member would make fun of her and we would say "please dont make fun of her' and that would be it.

HTH

Re: I dont share often anymore, but when there are tears involved, I know I can turn to you guys...

That man was an idiot to say that! You're a wonderful mom!