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4ForMe
:)
Member since 11/05 5666 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
I knew something wasn't right.
The boy is gay.
He got my son's new cellphone # from another classmate and sent my son a text yesterday professing his love for him.
Needless to say, my son is extremely upset. For God sakes, they're only 10-11. He wasn't even really sure what gay was and had no idea something like this could happen.
My son wants no further contact with this kid. He's extremely uncomfortable. I've blocked him from his cellphone, but what do I even do now? Do you think his mother knows? Do I call her (I've since found out she does speak English well)? If she doesn't know, I really don't know if I want to be the one to break this news to her.
In the meantime, we had the "gay" talk with my son and told him that this is just the way some people are and we have to respect them.
________________________________
My son started getting calls from a kid in school (not in his class). At first it was once in a while, but now it's at the point where it's absolutely ridiculous.
This kid will call, and if I let it go to the machine, he just hangs up and calls again and again and again -- literally about 5 times in 2 minutes. This sometimes goes on 3 or 4 times a night. Sometimes I answer and tell him my son is not home, but that doesn't seem to matter because he'll call back 10 minutes later anyway.
My son doesn't want to talk to him anymore -- he finds him very annoying. He's tried politely telling him not to call so much.
Now it has escalted to a new level. He'll call from his number (I see it on the caller id) and then if no one picks up he'll call again (and again) and block his number. Then on top of that, sometimes he must get his hands on somebody else's cell phone in his house because he'll call from all different numbers I guess hoping I won't realize it's him. I find this behavior distrubing for 10-11 year-old.
Last week he left a creepy message to my son "I keep calling and you never call me back, are you mad?"....
It seems like he has no supervision at all.
This has gotten almost way out of hand. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be totally rude to the kid on the phone because I don't want him taking it out on my son in school, but this can't continue.
His teacher happens to be the sister of one of my husband's friends (his friend passed away last year though). Would it be wrong for me to contact her (through school -- not at home) to ask her to maybe talk to him or to ask her what the deal is with this boy?
Message edited 6/25/2011 8:38:38 AM.
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Posted 6/16/11 5:04 PM  |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...
Why not call the number back and ask to speak to his parents?
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| Posted 6/16/11 6:05 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...
Honestly, I think this is an issue that needs to be brought up to the parents of the boy, not the teacher.
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| Posted 6/16/11 8:15 PM |
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SweetCin
My green-eyed boy
Member since 5/05 13499 total posts
Name:
Cin
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...
I agree; I'd call his number back from a cell phone and talk to the mom/dad.
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| Posted 6/16/11 8:23 PM |
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4ForMe
:)
Member since 11/05 5666 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...
Posted by BargainMama
Why not call the number back and ask to speak to his parents?
I'm sorry -- I meant to add that there was a language barrier. The father is not in the picture and the mother doesn't speak English.
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| Posted 6/16/11 9:47 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...
First, I would have my son tell him DIRECTLY that he didn't want to speak with him & while he's a nice kid, he's not interested in being close friends.
After that, I would pick up the phone & tell the kid to stop calling.
Can you block a phone number?
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| Posted 6/17/11 7:14 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...
Posted by 4ForMe
Posted by BargainMama
Why not call the number back and ask to speak to his parents?
I'm sorry -- I meant to add that there was a language barrier. The father is not in the picture and the mother doesn't speak English.
Ahh in that instance I would probably go the school route then. Especially if he got your number from one of those school directories. In this day and age of bullying, etc. I would be hesitant to have your son be nasty to him. You never know what could happen from there.
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| Posted 6/17/11 8:34 AM |
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4ForMe
:)
Member since 11/05 5666 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
BUMP
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| Posted 6/25/11 8:38 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
This is a tough one. I would definitely use it to teach your DS about being gay and social acceptance of gay people.
Maybe since it is now summer vacation and you blocked his number it will be a non-issue for you. I don't know that I would call his mother the poor kid is probably so confused about his feelings. One thing that stinks is that school is out because you probably could have addressed this with the school social worker. I don't envy the position you are in. 
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| Posted 6/25/11 10:01 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
Being gay doesn't excuse bad behavior. Has your son has been crystal clear with him that he is not interested in a romantic relationship or friendship with him? I think there is letting someone down gently & being very direct with him. He needs to do that.
The next time the boy contacts your son, call his mom. I would not be the one to speak to his mother about his sexuality. I would tell her that her son has been calling, texting, emailing your son and that your son is upset because it is excessive & her son doesn't understand he's not interested.
This boy obviously is missing out on social cues (referring to getting that your son isn't interested in any type of relationship, NOT the gay thing).
From what I've seen with my nephew - a lot of 9-10-11-12-13 year olds miss cues & are overzealous with relationships so I don't think the boy is off his rocker. I think he's age appropriate but not socially aware. I remember my sister saying that they had over 35 calls on their machine (combination of hang-ups & messages) in ONE DAY from a girl that liked my nephew. The girl's mom had no idea either.
I'm glad you spoke to your son about being gay & accepting but it doesn't mean he has to accept being harassed. I would be concerned with my son sharing this crush with his other friends because I think that could lead to teasing/bullying 
Message edited 6/25/2011 11:54:49 AM.
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| Posted 6/25/11 11:52 AM |
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4ForMe
:)
Member since 11/05 5666 total posts
Name:
Barbara
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
Posted by nrthshgrl
Being gay doesn't excuse bad behavior. Has your son has been crystal clear with him that he is not interested in a romantic relationship or friendship with him? I think there is letting someone down gently & being very direct with him. He needs to do that.
The next time the boy contacts your son, call his mom. I would not be the one to speak to his mother about his sexuality. I would tell her that her son has been calling, texting, emailing your son and that your son is upset because it is excessive & her son doesn't understand he's not interested.
This boy obviously is missing out on social cues (referring to getting that your son isn't interested in any type of relationship, NOT the gay thing).
From what I've seen with my nephew - a lot of 9-10-11-12-13 year olds miss cues & are overzealous with relationships so I don't think the boy is off his rocker. I think he's age appropriate but not socially aware. I remember my sister saying that they had over 35 calls on their machine (combination of hang-ups & messages) in ONE DAY from a girl that liked my nephew. The girl's mom had no idea either.
I'm glad you spoke to your son about being gay & accepting but it doesn't mean he has to accept being harassed. I would be concerned with my son sharing this crush with his other friends because I think that could lead to teasing/bullying
My son was not crystal clear because he didn't even see it coming. He didn't even know there was such a thing. He is a very naive 11 year old.
From what I heard this week, this kid posted on FB that he has a crush on my son -- so it's out there. All of his friends know, and I'm sure there will be repercussions.
I'm just sick over this right now...
Where the hell is this kid's mother. Doesn't she have any clue what's on??? My children aren't allowed either to call their friends mutliple times -- and believe me they've tried and asked. I always tell them if you leave them a message they will call back when they can -- and they always do. They also never pick up the phone to use it without asking.
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| Posted 6/25/11 12:17 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
Posted by 4ForMe
Where the hell is this kid's mother. Doesn't she have any clue what's on???
My kids ask before calling their own friends too & yes, they would call multiple times a day if I didn't have a "one call to a friend unless they call you back" rule too.
I don't think the mom has any idea, but I don't fault her for it. We go by what our kids tell us. If she thinks he's calling his friend, she probably doesn't see it as a problem. If he says he's calling another friend, she may believe what he says. I don't think she knows her son is calling your incessantly but she should be aware of it.
My kids don't really know what "gay" means either except for my correcting "girls can't marry girls" to "It depends on what state they live in." and how ridiculous I thought it was that people who love each other can't get married.
Now that it's out there, he needs to be clear. Posting it on FB brings this to another level for everyone involved - including the object of unwanted affection (your son). Intervene now. Call the mom.
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| Posted 6/25/11 12:25 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
Posted by nrthshgrl
Being gay doesn't excuse bad behavior. Has your son has been crystal clear with him that he is not interested in a romantic relationship or friendship with him? I think there is letting someone down gently & being very direct with him. He needs to do that.
The next time the boy contacts your son, call his mom. I would not be the one to speak to his mother about his sexuality. I would tell her that her son has been calling, texting, emailing your son and that your son is upset because it is excessive & her son doesn't understand he's not interested.
This boy obviously is missing out on social cues (referring to getting that your son isn't interested in any type of relationship, NOT the gay thing).
From what I've seen with my nephew - a lot of 9-10-11-12-13 year olds miss cues & are overzealous with relationships so I don't think the boy is off his rocker. I think he's age appropriate but not socially aware. I remember my sister saying that they had over 35 calls on their machine (combination of hang-ups & messages) in ONE DAY from a girl that liked my nephew. The girl's mom had no idea either.
I'm glad you spoke to your son about being gay & accepting but it doesn't mean he has to accept being harassed. I would be concerned with my son sharing this crush with his other friends because I think that could lead to teasing/bullying
I agree with everything Barb said. BUT I think when you talk to her it isnt going to end cut and dry, I am thinking that you may have to go into why the text are so offensive. I am just thinking if I were the mom and got a random phone call saying "your dd is calling too much...I'd probably be like "...The stalking part of it over a whole love desire to me would make it that much worse. I dont know whether I am right or wrong, Its just kinda how I feel.
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| Posted 6/25/11 6:59 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
I would report the boy's account to Facebook...YOu can doo that right? He has to be 13 to even have an account.
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| Posted 6/25/11 10:53 PM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
Posted by nrthshgrl
Being gay doesn't excuse bad behavior. Has your son has been crystal clear with him that he is not interested in a romantic relationship or friendship with him? I think there is letting someone down gently & being very direct with him. He needs to do that.
The next time the boy contacts your son, call his mom. I would not be the one to speak to his mother about his sexuality. I would tell her that her son has been calling, texting, emailing your son and that your son is upset because it is excessive & her son doesn't understand he's not interested.
This boy obviously is missing out on social cues (referring to getting that your son isn't interested in any type of relationship, NOT the gay thing).
From what I've seen with my nephew - a lot of 9-10-11-12-13 year olds miss cues & are overzealous with relationships so I don't think the boy is off his rocker. I think he's age appropriate but not socially aware. I remember my sister saying that they had over 35 calls on their machine (combination of hang-ups & messages) in ONE DAY from a girl that liked my nephew. The girl's mom had no idea either.
I'm glad you spoke to your son about being gay & accepting but it doesn't mean he has to accept being harassed. I would be concerned with my son sharing this crush with his other friends because I think that could lead to teasing/bullying
I completely agree with this. Good luck
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| Posted 6/26/11 9:54 PM |
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VickiRG510
I'M A MOMMY!
Member since 3/09 1042 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Re: I feel like my son has a stalker classmate...**UPDATED AT TOP!!!**
Posted by 4ForMe
I knew something wasn't right.
The boy is gay.
He got my son's new cellphone # from another classmate and sent my son a text yesterday professing his love for him.
Needless to say, my son is extremely upset. For God sakes, they're only 10-11. He wasn't even really sure what gay was and had no idea something like this could happen.
My son wants no further contact with this kid. He's extremely uncomfortable. I've blocked him from his cellphone, but what do I even do now? Do you think his mother knows? Do I call her (I've since found out she does speak English well)? If she doesn't know, I really don't know if I want to be the one to break this news to her.
In the meantime, we had the "gay" talk with my son and told him that this is just the way some people are and we have to respect them.
________________________________
My son started getting calls from a kid in school (not in his class). At first it was once in a while, but now it's at the point where it's absolutely ridiculous.
This kid will call, and if I let it go to the machine, he just hangs up and calls again and again and again -- literally about 5 times in 2 minutes. This sometimes goes on 3 or 4 times a night. Sometimes I answer and tell him my son is not home, but that doesn't seem to matter because he'll call back 10 minutes later anyway.
My son doesn't want to talk to him anymore -- he finds him very annoying. He's tried politely telling him not to call so much.
Now it has escalted to a new level. He'll call from his number (I see it on the caller id) and then if no one picks up he'll call again (and again) and block his number. Then on top of that, sometimes he must get his hands on somebody else's cell phone in his house because he'll call from all different numbers I guess hoping I won't realize it's him. I find this behavior distrubing for 10-11 year-old.
Last week he left a creepy message to my son "I keep calling and you never call me back, are you mad?"....
It seems like he has no supervision at all.
This has gotten almost way out of hand. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be totally rude to the kid on the phone because I don't want him taking it out on my son in school, but this can't continue.
His teacher happens to be the sister of one of my husband's friends (his friend passed away last year though). Would it be wrong for me to contact her (through school -- not at home) to ask her to maybe talk to him or to ask her what the deal is with this boy?
I would contact the parents ASAP. Tell them what has been going on. Ask them to please take care of this or you will have to bring this up to the school & possibly talk with the local police.
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| Posted 6/28/11 6:21 PM |
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