i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

DH and i took DS to the park yesterday. we drove him in his step 2 buggy...his favorite toy in the whole world.

we "parked" the buggy (which had all his stuff in the "trunk") and went over to the swings. there was one other couple there with their daughter.

a mother comes in with her 3 kids...and takes DS's buggy to drive her kids around in! doesn't ask first, doesn't look around, nothing. obviously it was ours or the other family's. her kids are fighting and arguing over it. DH and i turned to each other kind of shocked, but i let them use it because i'm a nice mom.

after about 20 minutes we were ready to go, so i went and took the buggy back (her kids were on the equipment). i then realized that the kids took DS's toys out of the "trunk" and they were on the other side of the playground. i started to get very annoyed at this point.

at first it wasn't a big deal to me, because i have NO problem sharing with other kids or other moms. but she drove around us with the buggy for 20 minutes and not once said "thanks" or "is this yours" or even acknowledged us. but when i saw his toys on the floor, that's when i started to get angry. i told DH we're not letting this happen again--what if another kid had taken my son's toys without us realizing it?

and get this--the handle is now broken. it is possible that it was broken before and i didn't notice it, so i really can't blame her. but it's cracked in 2 places.

if you know me, you know i have no problem saying what i feel. i was so ready to tell this mother off at that point. but i kept my mouth shut.

what would you have done? i thought i was being nice by letting her use it for so long. but now i feel taken advantaged of. the emptying of the toys thing is what is really bugging me. am i right to be annoyed? is this normal playground behavior for moms of other children? obviously DS is 11 months old so we just started going to the playground this spring, but i would never use and take apart someone else's toy without talking to the mom first--or at least getting acknowledgment from her first.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

WOW!!! you have some patience. I share but I would have likely said if at a crowded park.. No, no, thats not yours when they were playing on the Buggy in the 1st place and once I saw the toys , Iwould have asked the mom to kindly have her kids help you pick up YOUR SONS toys. WOW. THAT IS NERVE! You should feel good about how you handled it, you were very calm and polite!

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Aside from a random shovel or bucket, I don't let my DD use other people's toys at the playground. The bikes, etc. are appealing, but I always tell her no, and I really wouldn't want strangers using her bike/buggy, etc. I think that mother was completely obnoxious, and I probably would have yelled "YOU'RE WELCOME" as she walked by. I seriously wonder about the lack of manners in some people.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Totally unacceptable!

That's totally NOT proper playground etiquette.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

I am a huge park person and a big time buggy user.

everything I bring is fair game...depending on the age of the kid.

I think its natural that a kid would open the trunk. The mother should have been more diligent with keeping trunk stuff near the car.

Personally, I think Josh went on one scooter that did not belong to him at the park.

I don't want the hassle or aggravation of wondering what the other mom is going to say.

at the pool, all our toys are a free for all. I labeled all of them. If Josh wants a toy another kid is using that is his, I will go to kid with a different toy and make the switch. I use to feel funny about that...but I am not buying and trucking these toys to the pool so he can watch someone else enjoy.

so, in conclusion , if age appropriate, the buggy usage was okay. They all go into the trunk..I use to keep my keys in their and learned the hard way not to do that. Totally the mother's responsibilty to keep toys near car so you don't have to chase things down.

she could have said thanks, but moms are crazy rude a lot of the time.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Posted by Janice
so, in conclusion , if age appropriate, the buggy usage was okay. They all go into the trunk..I use to keep my keys in their and learned the hard way not to do that. Totally the mother's responsibilty to keep toys near car so you don't have to chase things down.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

I would not let mine either, but its a public park and I can't control what other toddlers do. even though I would love to

A lot of times I will bring an extra ball, cars, or trains...hoping to attract a kid to come over and play with Josh. (I have an only child complex!)

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Pffttt... All I have to say is you were WAY nicer than i would have been.

I do not believe that toys are up for grabs by everyone in the park and if they did want to use it then they should have asked first... IMO thats common sense but as we all know not everyone has common sense.

Im finding myself getting angry about this the more i think about it

Ugh the nerve!!!

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Definitely rude. I don't find that acceptable at all.

As the mom of a very nosy, busybody 20 month old I have often had to stop her from climbing into someone's wagon. I don't think it's ever ok to use someone else's buggy/wagon whathaveyou.

IMO, all is not fair game at a park and I think most moms (and dads) respect that.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

im surprised that you contained yourself... The minute the woman went over to the buggy, i would have said, excuse me, but that is ours. end of story. you dont know these people from a whole in the wall...

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

I would have found that VERY rude. I probably wouldn't have said anything, but I probably would have hurried DD up on the playground so I could go re-claim the buggy-- and like Summer, I would have said "YOU'RE WELCOME" very loudly. I'm not all about confrontation, and it's not like you would have jumped down her throat the second they got in the toy, but for the mom to not ask who's car it was the whole time is wrong. Toys at the playground like that are not fair game, IMO.

Rude, rude, rude!!

Message edited 6/14/2009 6:22:51 PM.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

I would have kicked her (assuming your DS wasn't watching). Im not so nice

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

I think its NEVER normal behavior for a mother to not once say "thank you" or "is it ok that they use this?". It's just common etiquette!!!

I do agree that bringing toys to a park usually means that other kids will want to play...I know that Johnny will always go after another childs toys, just like they go after his ride on toys or shovels etc...and you are clearly ok and aware of that...but I've never had that happen to me where they just took the toy and didn't say a thing about it.

And i would never unload the trunk and place the toys outside of it!! It's one thing if the child did it and the mom didn't see...but she obviously knew and a simple word or two to you would have been nice...I find it very rude!!! Sorry you had to deal with that! People are ridiculous sometimes...

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

That was def. rude. My son goes after other kids toys at the park all the time. I never let him play with them unless he is playing with the child, and I would never let him walk away with a toy and not return it.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Let me know where this playground is. Tomorrow I will let my coxsackie-ridden child play all over his own wagon at home and then bring the wagon down there for her to play with.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

You are way too nice! I applaud how sweet you were to share and let her use it for TWENTY minutes...which park do you go to?
Seriously, that was great. I could never do that..I wouldv'e said that it's ours but if you would like to use it..so maybe she can say thanks :) You are too kind!

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

what would I have done?

I would have automatically said "That's ours" the moment they put their paws on it.

I'm not as charitable or generous as you are!

That really sux that the handle is broken, and I think that mom was stunningly inconsiderate and selfish.

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

I understand that children are curious and want to play with what others have but with that said...as soon as my daughter went over to play with something that belonged to someone else I would stop her and relocate her to something else. I would let the person who owned the item be the one to say "oh she can play with it". I would NEVER just let my child go and use something that didn't belong to her without permission. I would have been so shocked if someone did that...and you showed some AMAZING restraint. Now you know for the future to say how you feel!

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?

Ladies, I'm just curious... What would you have done if you saw a woman walking around the park with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth... and she isn't far away from all of the slides and swings, she is right there and everyone can smell and breath it?? (this happened the first time we went, and I wasnt sure what the etiquette was)

Re: i found this so rude...thoughts on what happened at the park?