I freaked out last night..Total Vent

I know this may sound crazy but I feel totally ALONE in this healing process and everyone around me seems* like they think I dont think about this every minute of the day and Im better and don't need them. I think Im starting to feel sorry for myself or something..... and I got into a huge fight with DH. I kept saying how he doesnt know what Im going through and that I held the baby for so long and I was more attached...As soon as we heard (about 3 months) there may be a potential problem he totally detached himself from the entire thing and had no hope...I went through 5 months of hoping for the best and in the end I got hit the worst.

My DH has been totally there for me 100% I mean he is also going through this..but I feel like the LOAD is on me.

Anyone feel the same...or am I just FEELING bad for myself.

Re: I freaked out last night..Total Vent

That is def expected and you are not alone.

I think it is very hard for men to go through what we have emotionally. Yes they still are upset and devastated! It is different when you are carrying this pregnancy and your body starts to change, the hormones start to kick in, then the miscarriage physically and emotionally is draining.

It is harder for men to deal with things too. That is prob why once you got the bads news he detached himself...he was prob devastated. ( and maybe didn't want to show his emotions) so he could be strong for you.

I say all the time to my DH, you do not understand how I feel. I went through this physically and emotionally. ( i feel bad thought that I do that, & i know he does understand). This miscarriage has been harder than the last one for me. I think my DH feels a lot of guilt that he wasn't there when it happened to me. I was alone on a plane- then stuck in the airport. HE just brought it up the other day and he feels so terrible that I was alone. I never knew he had this guilt....which obviously there was nothing he could of done to prevent this.

But somtimes men act in certain ways b/c they either do not know what to say, feel like it's their fault, or just trying to be strong.

As for fighting....I have been so tempermental the past week too. I feel so bad for DH. We got in a huge fight too the other night. We are fine now but I think sometimes we take our stress and pain out on the people we love the most. Plus sometimes it is ok to want people to feel sorry for you....we are human.

Hope that helps!!!!

Re: I freaked out last night..Total Vent

Rachel:

That helped A LOT I appreciate your response. Your right men don't know how to act or what to say. Its so frustrating because you know your husband is going through the same but they don't show it like us. Men just dont understand How much your body changes and what women go through with a PG.

Ugh my hormones are Racing..body is adjusting back and its been hell for me. Im a mess

Re: I freaked out last night..Total Vent

I think it's really hard for men because for a really long time they are outsiders in the pregnancy process. How are they supposed to truly understand???

My DH was great through the whole thing...I thought he was all fine and one day (at his friends wedding) found him crying to a friend about how sad he was. I never even knew! I wish he would tell me, but sometimes I feel like the men in our lives feel they have to be the rock..detached. I mean I will be honest..If I found DH crying all the time I would be stressed out about worrying about him!

I totally get it though. it's an emotional roller coaster. I fought w/ DH big time...I took the meds and was feeling crappy and he was like "i'm going to play poker" WHAT??? and then like 2 days later I was still feeling crappy and he was like I made plans for us to do dinner w/ another couple. I was like SERIOUSLY??? He had no clue...but I told him how I felt and he did a total 180...maybe you should just be honest with him?

Re: I freaked out last night..Total Vent