I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***

I am still so shocked, upset and just flicking pissed.

I work in a male industry in a law firm. Litigation support.

2 days ago I went to the interview.it was at the law firm, but video conference with the interviewer. I first met with the manager of the department.

The interview went well. I interview well. I met with the manager for about 45 in. Then he brought in the other team member.

The manager left. So the team member started talking about the the job. Now, I have over 11 years experience doing this job. It's a niche market so it's clear the if you do this job you know how to do it and what the requirements are.

I am NOT defending this. But I do get he was asking me this stuff to make sure I got what the job entails. But if the a$$hole had my resume in front of him he would know I have been doing the job for 11 years.

So at one point he asked me if I was married. It took me a second to answer him. I decided to answer and say yes. He then said that the travel can be really hard on a relationship.

Really Einstein? Thanks for telling me because I could not imagine that. I mean it doesn't matter I have been doing this for 11 years. Or traveling for the job for 11 years. So thanks for mansplaining.

He then asked me what my husband thought about all the traveling because it can be hard on a relationship.

Because, ya know. I have to ask my husband for permission to leave the house. Or to spend money. Or to drive.

Then we talked some more. and then.

Wait for it.

He asked me if I had kids. Then he asked me if I was planning on having kids.

I am 46 but I look 30.

AND IT DOESEN'T FLUCMING MATTER YOU A$$hole.

I am going to bed because I just can't tonight.

I am strong. I am vibrant. I am amazing BECAUSE I am a woman.

UPDATE:
Both the recruiters I am working with are PI$$ED at the law firm. The male recruiter (its really his client) already contacted HR at the law firm and let them know what happened. He was great and was really mad for me. He apologized profusely. But this is going to HR at the firm. And there is going to be a lot of 'splainin to do.

I would not be surprised if I got a call from them about it. The fact is I have them dead to rights to sue them and win. IT could be worth a few hundred thousand dollars. And in fact my recruiter told me he would not stand in my way if that's the route I decided to take. Its not the route I want to take, however.

He and I both agree that this guy is a bone head rather than a sexist pig. He had no training, has never hired anyone (or interviewed anyone). We both agree that it is still OK for me to go forward with the process and see where it leads. The fact is I have nothing to loose to see how far I get and see if they will offer me the salary I want.

But the recruiter was great. Took this dead seriously and actually took action. The other thing is that the law firm now has a big problem on their hands. If they don't hire me it could be because of this incident...and then I can sue them for that.

Again, I don't have any intention of suing

Message edited 10/19/2016 12:50:57 AM.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

I think that the marriage & children questions are actually illegal.

There are other ways to ask if you were able to commit to the travel.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

What you were asked are illegal questions.

I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

My bil interviewed for a teaching job at a Jewish school over the summer, and was asked multiple times how he would be capable of teaching Jewish art if he wasn't Jewish

I feel like despite the legality of stuff employers still do these things

Message edited 10/18/2016 7:07:21 AM.

I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

I don't think that just because you've been in the field for 11 years that they should omit telling you there are long hours or travel. Unless you resume said travel xx% they don't know the kind/amount you had in prior jobs so they want to make sure they are getting the right candidate and you know what is going on.

That being said, that was a very wrong way of notifying you.

I'm in IT so we'll discuss those situations by asking/telling that the position sometimes requires night/weekend and we belong to an on-call rotation in case of emergency. And we'll plainly just ask "Is that a problem for you?"

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

I guess I'm old school or haven't interviewed in a long time...
I wouldn't get mad or think twice if I was asked those questions.

If I was qualified and I wasn't hired for those reasons is a different story!

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Message edited 10/18/2016 7:47:18 AM.

I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

WOW!!!!!! I'd be super pi$$ed.

I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

The questions he asked you are illegal and I would notify the HR dept that he asked those questions. I would hope they would be horrified.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

I was told after a great interview for a great position that I was being passed over because I had kids. He said he couldn't be sure that I wouldn't need to run out at moments notice because of a sick kid. I was shocked and angry. I told him that it was unfortunate that his assumption of my personal life was causing him to pass over a really reliable and hard working employee. I also told him how illegal it is to make statements like that but given the favor he just gave me I was going to let it slide. When he asked me what favor - I said the favor of not working for a misogynistic dirt bag like him.

Moral of the story... I understand and its a real punch to the gut. You hear about it happening all the time, but then when it actually happens to you, it's a shock.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Pretty much every interview I have ever had, I was asked some form of those questions. It's not right. I think there is a clear lack of understanding of what acceptable interview questions are - especially when the people interviewing are not aware that what they are saying or asking is illegal. There should be professional interviewers who know what is/isn't acceptable.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Here is another thing that gets me - I am pregnant and looking for a new job. I know it is illegal for an employer to discriminate because you are pregnant, but if you don't get the job, I assume 99% of the time it would be because you are pregnant. So how does that anti-discrimination protect a potential employee? The employer will just skirt the issue and say you wern't hired for other reasons, KWIM?

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Asking the questions is not illegal. What they do with the information is where it gets tricky. If you don't get the job, unless they flat out tell you that they aren't hiring you based on your answers to those questions, you cannot prove or know for certain that that was their reasoning. It really sucks, because you are clearly capable of doing the job, and I truly hope that they don't pass you over.

I'm curious - If they offer you the job at this point, would you accept?

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

I wouldn't have answered those.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Maybe he was just trying to warn you about the long hours and travel? It would be a whole different story if you did not get a job offer because you had or wanted kids.

My friend recently left a job because there was so much travel involved. She knew that there would be some travel but she had to fly overseas for long periods of time. She felt deceived that the position was not more clear on the travel expected. Another friend of mine is putting in her notice because her new position required her to travel about 1 week per month and it was too much with her 3 kids.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

All they had to say was- there is travel in this position. It's x% of the time.
It requires you to go away once per month, twice per month, for this long.... whatever.
Are you ok with that?
Would that interfere with any personal obligations you have?

But they should not have worded it as- well are you married? Because it might ruin your marriage you know.

Do you want kids? Because it might not be good for a mom.

That is NOT for them to decide.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

They have probably lost employees because of the travel. Doesn't make it right, but it sounded like he was just giving you a warning (right or wrong). I really hate these kinds me of questions. I interviewed with a large investment firm and met with 2 guys and a woman. The guys were fixated on the same question, who will watch my "babies"? My kids were 4&5 at the time, but they couldn't get past that. They were from a very different culture and guess what? I didn't get the job.

These employers just take the easiest route.

Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

It's definitely illegal for them to use the fact that she has kids or is married as a reason to not hire her if she is a qualified candidate. Most companies wouldn't ask those types of questions because if they didn't hire her she could always argue that she didn't get the job because she is married or has kids. It just opens the company up to a liability

I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.

Yes. My point is that it is super illegal.

The job I do is traveling to work on litigation. So it's understood that you would be traveling a lot.

The reason to be mad is that he was asking to make sure kids would not stand in the way of me doing the job. So they would probably pass me over if I said "yes I am planning on having kids".

THAT is why it's illegal. It's wrong. It's against the law. It's man splaining it's sexist.