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I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.
CRAZYBANANAS!!
lawyers?!!!!
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Posted 10/18/16 5:04 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Danamz
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1978 total posts
Name:
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.
Wow I had this conversation just last night about a firm I used to work at...and vividly recall when the partners interviewed women and asked those EXACT questions! I mean verbatim. In fact, when I saw the subject of your post I thought to myself "I wonder if it's a law firm..." Now I'm wondering if it's THAT firm lol. And you're right...it's so wrong, but like you said (and like I told the person I was having the conversation with), if it's in a small field, everyone knows each other and nobody wants to jeopardize their career, or have the burden of proving it etc
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| Posted 10/18/16 9:53 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.
Posted by oneday
Posted by evrythng4areason
There are so many women who can balance it all, and I applaud them. However, there are just as many, myself included, who have families that impact their professional lives.
But that is the point. That is your situation and how it works in your family. As others have said, the prospective employer should lay out the expectations of the job and if the person interviewing will be able handle it.
In my house, DH has the more flexible job - he can leave early if need be, has more vacation to take when the kids are off so it usually falls to him. That's how our situation works. If that is not your case, that's fine, but for an employer to basically assume that a woman can't do a job she is qualified for because of what they think she, as the woman/wife/mother should be able to handle, THAT is discrimination.
To the OP - sorry you had to deal with that. That's BS!!
Agreed. I'm a teacher, so I (obviously) handle breaks, but there are certain days that I just can't take off, like during Regents week, and DH has to cover - no question.
To the quoted poster - no flames for your beliefs or how you do things at all, but just because they happen to align with the assumptions made in these interview questions, that doesn't mean it's the case for everyone. Others might feel differently and that's partly why these questions are illegal.
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| Posted 10/18/16 10:38 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by LInMI
I guess I'm old school or haven't interviewed in a long time...
I wouldn't get mad or think twice if I was asked those questions.
If I was qualified and I wasn't hired for those reasons is a different story!
ITA and I'm not super old, lol! I wouldn't have even batted an eye. If you are not comfortable there, do not take the job.
Gotta agree here...
So you'd be okay if you and a man are interviewing for the same position and the interviewer asks you about your relationship status, your family life, if you want kids, etc but doesn't ask him the same? Because realistically, a man is NOT getting asked those questions. So why is it assumed a man can handle the job at hand but a woman couldn't because of obligations in her personal life which is NOT a company's business. There is a reason why you're NOT suppose to ask these types of questions on an interview, it is unprofessional and crossing a line.
My DH is a Director of Engineering and has interviewed hundreds of people in his career, he would NEVER ask that of a woman (or anyone) on an interview. He (like any interviewer should) keeps it professional, he asks about their experience, education, skills, career goals, etc but he NEVER asks anything about a candidate's personal life. That is OFF LIMITS and should be common knowledge.
As a woman, you should be offended by things like this. It's deplorable.
Eh it wouldn't bother me either, but (I'll get flamed for this), I still think the majority of child rearing does (and should) fall on the mother, and I can absolutely see how it could impact a workers performance. I went back to work after dd was born, and will go back in January when ds is about 9 weeks. Apart from the time I'm away from my job, when I return I'll need breaks to pump, I won't be able to go on field trips, etc. I should have travelled for work at the end of September, but with a 2 year old and being 36 weeks preggo it wasn't an option-dh would have had no issues if his job would have asked him to go at the same point. If our children get sick, I'm automatically the one who takes off-it's not even a thought in our heads that my husband would. Our children literally do not impact his life in any way while at work, aside from 2 weeks paternity leave when they're born (during which he's 100% available via email or phone). For me, they have an obvious impact on my job.
There are so many women who can balance it all, and I applaud them. However, there are just as many, myself included, who have families that impact their professional lives.
You do realize that the situation you describe is exactly why people ask these illegal questions. And the mindset you have is precisely why it's women and not men who get asked these questions.
I'm no over the top, women's lib feminist, but it's women like you who make the world harder for women like us- the women who demand equal respect for their careers, whose husbands give them equal respect, and whose daughters will never be told they "should be" rearing children.
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| Posted 10/18/16 11:08 PM |
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KateBennetReel
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/15 555 total posts
Name:
Keep
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by LInMI
I guess I'm old school or haven't interviewed in a long time...
I wouldn't get mad or think twice if I was asked those questions.
If I was qualified and I wasn't hired for those reasons is a different story!
ITA and I'm not super old, lol! I wouldn't have even batted an eye. If you are not comfortable there, do not take the job.
Gotta agree here...
So you'd be okay if you and a man are interviewing for the same position and the interviewer asks you about your relationship status, your family life, if you want kids, etc but doesn't ask him the same? Because realistically, a man is NOT getting asked those questions. So why is it assumed a man can handle the job at hand but a woman couldn't because of obligations in her personal life which is NOT a company's business. There is a reason why you're NOT suppose to ask these types of questions on an interview, it is unprofessional and crossing a line.
My DH is a Director of Engineering and has interviewed hundreds of people in his career, he would NEVER ask that of a woman (or anyone) on an interview. He (like any interviewer should) keeps it professional, he asks about their experience, education, skills, career goals, etc but he NEVER asks anything about a candidate's personal life. That is OFF LIMITS and should be common knowledge.
As a woman, you should be offended by things like this. It's deplorable.
Eh it wouldn't bother me either, but (I'll get flamed for this), I still think the majority of child rearing does (and should) fall on the mother, and I can absolutely see how it could impact a workers performance. I went back to work after dd was born, and will go back in January when ds is about 9 weeks. Apart from the time I'm away from my job, when I return I'll need breaks to pump, I won't be able to go on field trips, etc. I should have travelled for work at the end of September, but with a 2 year old and being 36 weeks preggo it wasn't an option-dh would have had no issues if his job would have asked him to go at the same point. If our children get sick, I'm automatically the one who takes off-it's not even a thought in our heads that my husband would. Our children literally do not impact his life in any way while at work, aside from 2 weeks paternity leave when they're born (during which he's 100% available via email or phone). For me, they have an obvious impact on my job.
There are so many women who can balance it all, and I applaud them. However, there are just as many, myself included, who have families that impact their professional lives.
You do realize that the situation you describe is exactly why people ask these illegal questions. And the mindset you have is precisely why it's women and not men who get asked these questions.
I'm no over the top, women's lib feminist, but it's women like you who make the world harder for women like us- the women who demand equal respect for their careers, whose husbands give them equal respect, and whose daughters will never be told they "should be" rearing children.
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| Posted 10/18/16 11:33 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.
Aside from the fact that I'm speechless about how nasty and rude this person sounded, asked you about kids  *furious* and marital status, this dude is in the field of LAW and is asking these questions, fully knowing how illegal they are 
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| Posted 10/19/16 12:34 AM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions.
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by LInMI
I guess I'm old school or haven't interviewed in a long time...
I wouldn't get mad or think twice if I was asked those questions.
If I was qualified and I wasn't hired for those reasons is a different story!
ITA and I'm not super old, lol! I wouldn't have even batted an eye. If you are not comfortable there, do not take the job.
Gotta agree here...
So you'd be okay if you and a man are interviewing for the same position and the interviewer asks you about your relationship status, your family life, if you want kids, etc but doesn't ask him the same? Because realistically, a man is NOT getting asked those questions. So why is it assumed a man can handle the job at hand but a woman couldn't because of obligations in her personal life which is NOT a company's business. There is a reason why you're NOT suppose to ask these types of questions on an interview, it is unprofessional and crossing a line.
My DH is a Director of Engineering and has interviewed hundreds of people in his career, he would NEVER ask that of a woman (or anyone) on an interview. He (like any interviewer should) keeps it professional, he asks about their experience, education, skills, career goals, etc but he NEVER asks anything about a candidate's personal life. That is OFF LIMITS and should be common knowledge.
As a woman, you should be offended by things like this. It's deplorable.
Eh it wouldn't bother me either, but (I'll get flamed for this), I still think the majority of child rearing does (and should) fall on the mother, and I can absolutely see how it could impact a workers performance. I went back to work after dd was born, and will go back in January when ds is about 9 weeks. Apart from the time I'm away from my job, when I return I'll need breaks to pump, I won't be able to go on field trips, etc. I should have travelled for work at the end of September, but with a 2 year old and being 36 weeks preggo it wasn't an option-dh would have had no issues if his job would have asked him to go at the same point. If our children get sick, I'm automatically the one who takes off-it's not even a thought in our heads that my husband would. Our children literally do not impact his life in any way while at work, aside from 2 weeks paternity leave when they're born (during which he's 100% available via email or phone). For me, they have an obvious impact on my job.
There are so many women who can balance it all, and I applaud them. However, there are just as many, myself included, who have families that impact their professional lives.
You do realize that the situation you describe is exactly why people ask these illegal questions. And the mindset you have is precisely why it's women and not men who get asked these questions.
I'm no over the top, women's lib feminist, but it's women like you who make the world harder for women like us- the women who demand equal respect for their careers, whose husbands give them equal respect, and whose daughters will never be told they "should be" rearing children.
1. Lucky Star - That was one of the best mic drops I have EVER seen. I have not seen anything summed up more beautifully or perfectly. Thank you.
2. I am truly shocked at the women on here saying "its OK" (In a nutshell).
I just can't believe, I am truly gobsmacked, that women think its OK to be discriminated against in the workplace. Furthermore they would not even mind if they were asked these questions.
Its called discrimination. And I just don't understand how some women are OK with it.
(bump for update)
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| Posted 10/19/16 12:41 AM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
I very clearly said that these were my thoughts, and that they work for my family.
I also said that I realize that there are women who can balance everything, and that I am happy for them because it's not something I could do.
I realize that my personal opinions of how a family runs do not apply to all, or even most people anymore. That's ok. I don't judge others for how they do things, nor should I be judged for how I do things.
There were other posters who also said that these questions wouldn't bother them, and I simply elaborated on why they wouldn't bother me.
I understand why these types of questions shouldn't be asked, ans I understand why the majority of people are upset by them.
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| Posted 10/19/16 7:23 AM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by LInMI
I guess I'm old school or haven't interviewed in a long time...
I wouldn't get mad or think twice if I was asked those questions.
If I was qualified and I wasn't hired for those reasons is a different story!
ITA and I'm not super old, lol! I wouldn't have even batted an eye. If you are not comfortable there, do not take the job.
Gotta agree here...
So you'd be okay if you and a man are interviewing for the same position and the interviewer asks you about your relationship status, your family life, if you want kids, etc but doesn't ask him the same? Because realistically, a man is NOT getting asked those questions. So why is it assumed a man can handle the job at hand but a woman couldn't because of obligations in her personal life which is NOT a company's business. There is a reason why you're NOT suppose to ask these types of questions on an interview, it is unprofessional and crossing a line.
My DH is a Director of Engineering and has interviewed hundreds of people in his career, he would NEVER ask that of a woman (or anyone) on an interview. He (like any interviewer should) keeps it professional, he asks about their experience, education, skills, career goals, etc but he NEVER asks anything about a candidate's personal life. That is OFF LIMITS and should be common knowledge.
As a woman, you should be offended by things like this. It's deplorable.
Eh it wouldn't bother me either, but (I'll get flamed for this), I still think the majority of child rearing does (and should) fall on the mother, and I can absolutely see how it could impact a workers performance. I went back to work after dd was born, and will go back in January when ds is about 9 weeks. Apart from the time I'm away from my job, when I return I'll need breaks to pump, I won't be able to go on field trips, etc. I should have travelled for work at the end of September, but with a 2 year old and being 36 weeks preggo it wasn't an option-dh would have had no issues if his job would have asked him to go at the same point. If our children get sick, I'm automatically the one who takes off-it's not even a thought in our heads that my husband would. Our children literally do not impact his life in any way while at work, aside from 2 weeks paternity leave when they're born (during which he's 100% available via email or phone). For me, they have an obvious impact on my job.
There are so many women who can balance it all, and I applaud them. However, there are just as many, myself included, who have families that impact their professional lives.
So what about same-sex couples who have children yet both still work?
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| Posted 10/19/16 8:15 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
I think the point of this post is being missed. No matter what...it is NOT OK to get asked these questions on an interview. Especially, since a man would NEVER be asked the same thing. It's sexist, by definition.
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| Posted 10/19/16 8:25 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by StaceyWill
I think the point of this post is being missed. No matter what...it is NOT OK to get asked these questions on an interview. Especially, since a man would NEVER be asked the same thing. It's sexist, by definition.
Exactly. And every family is going to work differently and do what is best for them, so I'm not sure why we're going off on a tangent of "this is what my family does" when thats not even the point of this thread.
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| Posted 10/19/16 8:27 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by KGools
Posted by evrythng4areason
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by LInMI
I guess I'm old school or haven't interviewed in a long time...
I wouldn't get mad or think twice if I was asked those questions.
If I was qualified and I wasn't hired for those reasons is a different story!
ITA and I'm not super old, lol! I wouldn't have even batted an eye. If you are not comfortable there, do not take the job.
Gotta agree here...
So you'd be okay if you and a man are interviewing for the same position and the interviewer asks you about your relationship status, your family life, if you want kids, etc but doesn't ask him the same? Because realistically, a man is NOT getting asked those questions. So why is it assumed a man can handle the job at hand but a woman couldn't because of obligations in her personal life which is NOT a company's business. There is a reason why you're NOT suppose to ask these types of questions on an interview, it is unprofessional and crossing a line.
My DH is a Director of Engineering and has interviewed hundreds of people in his career, he would NEVER ask that of a woman (or anyone) on an interview. He (like any interviewer should) keeps it professional, he asks about their experience, education, skills, career goals, etc but he NEVER asks anything about a candidate's personal life. That is OFF LIMITS and should be common knowledge.
As a woman, you should be offended by things like this. It's deplorable.
Eh it wouldn't bother me either, but (I'll get flamed for this), I still think the majority of child rearing does (and should) fall on the mother, and I can absolutely see how it could impact a workers performance. I went back to work after dd was born, and will go back in January when ds is about 9 weeks. Apart from the time I'm away from my job, when I return I'll need breaks to pump, I won't be able to go on field trips, etc. I should have travelled for work at the end of September, but with a 2 year old and being 36 weeks preggo it wasn't an option-dh would have had no issues if his job would have asked him to go at the same point. If our children get sick, I'm automatically the one who takes off-it's not even a thought in our heads that my husband would. Our children literally do not impact his life in any way while at work, aside from 2 weeks paternity leave when they're born (during which he's 100% available via email or phone). For me, they have an obvious impact on my job.
There are so many women who can balance it all, and I applaud them. However, there are just as many, myself included, who have families that impact their professional lives.
So what about same-sex couples who have children yet both still work?
Good question!
Message edited 10/19/2016 8:35:57 AM.
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| Posted 10/19/16 8:35 AM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
I came back to this post because I realized I didn't address the OP.
Paramount, I'm sorry you had to deal with this. That is truly awful. I don't know how much you wanted the job, but now whatever happens the whole thing is tainted. Ugh.
To the greater debate going on here:
I know this is just an informal discussion, but I feel that if we as humans want to fight discrimination and ignorance, we need to realize that saying "but it doesn't bother me" in the face of it is, at best, totally irrelevant and, at worst, quite damaging.
Due to my age and the fact that I am in a loving marriage the chances of me ever needing an abortion are next to zero but I would never stop fighting for a woman's right to choose. Women's rights are human's rights, and as humans we have a responsibility to the vulnerable among us, lest we someday become vulnerable ourselves.
I have white skin but I fight against racism.
Etc. etc.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion; I just ask people to, at minimum, be mindful about how their words are affecting the bigger conversation.
Paramount is a grown woman who knows her own mind but what about young girls? Do we want them to hear "what's the big deal?"
I say no. We don't.
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| Posted 10/19/16 8:38 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by Paramount
The fact is I have them dead to rights to sue them and win. IT could be worth a few hundred thousand dollars. And in fact my recruiter told me he would not stand in my way if that's the route I decided to take. Its not the route I want to take, however.
Again, I don't have any intention of suing
I am curious, when you say it's "worth a few hundred thousand", what are your damages that you could show that make it worth hundreds of thousands? People get seriously injured in car accidents and don't get that much.
If this was the case, everybody would be suing... no? I don't see any attorneys taking this type of case since damages need to be proven. All the employer has to say is "she wasn't qualified based on her work experience".
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| Posted 10/19/16 9:05 AM |
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CSK
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 892 total posts
Name:
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by StaceyWill
I think the point of this post is being missed. No matter what...it is NOT OK to get asked these questions on an interview. Especially, since a man would NEVER be asked the same thing. It's sexist, by definition.
I have to disagree with this.
I'm a man, I haven't been asked the question as blatant, but they do ask leading travel questions and extra time questions that mention family/work commitments. I was especially sensitive in mentioning my son in the interview at all.
I worked in public accounting, that was full of travel and extra hours. If any parent sits there and thinks they can have it all and stay on the fast track, they are deluding themselves. Woman, man whatever. If you're able to eat dinner with your family, make any of the school functions, take time off when they're sick et al, and not staying up half the night working, you're not going to stay on the fast track completely. The only people who I've seen have kids and keep on the fast track had their SO stay home and deal with everything at home.
I don't disagree that they shouldn't have asked the questions in the way they were asked, however, the real goal of the questions were whether travel would be OK for you and whether you could handle the work schedule with your family life, which are perfectly valid concerns for both man and women candidates.
The questions are inappropriate. Its the hire/no hire part that is illegal.
I don't know how your recruiter handled it with the HR department. If he went in guns blazing, I certainly wouldn't want to take the job if it were offered.
If the partner is an old school guy who stepped out of line, but you could deal with, I would have considered rolling the dice and seeing if I got the offer without scorching the earth.
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| Posted 10/19/16 9:34 AM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by CSK
Posted by StaceyWill
I think the point of this post is being missed. No matter what...it is NOT OK to get asked these questions on an interview. Especially, since a man would NEVER be asked the same thing. It's sexist, by definition.
I have to disagree with this.
I'm a man, I haven't been asked the question as blatant, but they do ask leading travel questions and extra time questions that mention family/work commitments. I was especially sensitive in mentioning my son in the interview at all.
I worked in public accounting, that was full of travel and extra hours. If any parent sits there and thinks they can have it all and stay on the fast track, they are deluding themselves. Woman, man whatever. If you're able to eat dinner with your family, make any of the school functions, take time off when they're sick et al, and not staying up half the night working, you're not going to stay on the fast track completely. The only people who I've seen have kids and keep on the fast track had their SO stay home and deal with everything at home.
I don't disagree that they shouldn't have asked the questions in the way they were asked, however, the real goal of the questions were whether travel would be OK for you and whether you could handle the work schedule with your family life, which are perfectly valid concerns for both man and women candidates.
The questions are inappropriate. Its the hire/no hire part that is illegal.
I don't know how your recruiter handled it with the HR department. If he went in guns blazing, I certainly wouldn't want to take the job if it were offered.
If the partner is an old school guy who stepped out of line, but you could deal with, I would have considered rolling the dice and seeing if I got the offer without scorching the earth.
I feel like the crux of the argument is that this plays into the stereotype that home life/family restrictions aren't an issue for the man - he has a wife who will handle it. When the woman is presented with this scenario, the expectation is "can she handle it" because we are always seen as the weaker, lesser, less capable sex. And when interviewing leads into that train of thought, whether intentional or not, it is harmful to working women who are held to a different standard than working men.
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| Posted 10/19/16 9:40 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by CSK
Posted by StaceyWill
I think the point of this post is being missed. No matter what...it is NOT OK to get asked these questions on an interview. Especially, since a man would NEVER be asked the same thing. It's sexist, by definition.
I have to disagree with this.
I'm a man, I haven't been asked the question as blatant, but they do ask leading travel questions and extra time questions that mention family/work commitments. I was especially sensitive in mentioning my son in the interview at all.
I worked in public accounting, that was full of travel and extra hours. If any parent sits there and thinks they can have it all and stay on the fast track, they are deluding themselves. Woman, man whatever. If you're able to eat dinner with your family, make any of the school functions, take time off when they're sick et al, and not staying up half the night working, you're not going to stay on the fast track completely. The only people who I've seen have kids and keep on the fast track had their SO stay home and deal with everything at home.
I don't disagree that they shouldn't have asked the questions in the way they were asked, however, the real goal of the questions were whether travel would be OK for you and whether you could handle the work schedule with your family life, which are perfectly valid concerns for both man and women candidates.
The questions are inappropriate. Its the hire/no hire part that is illegal.
I don't know how your recruiter handled it with the HR department. If he went in guns blazing, I certainly wouldn't want to take the job if it were offered.
If the partner is an old school guy who stepped out of line, but you could deal with, I would have considered rolling the dice and seeing if I got the offer without scorching the earth.
I agree that it is now an awkward situation. I personally would have waited to see if I got offered the position first.
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| Posted 10/19/16 10:24 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by ave1024
Posted by Paramount
The fact is I have them dead to rights to sue them and win. IT could be worth a few hundred thousand dollars. And in fact my recruiter told me he would not stand in my way if that's the route I decided to take. Its not the route I want to take, however.
Again, I don't have any intention of suing
I am curious, when you say it's "worth a few hundred thousand", what are your damages that you could show that make it worth hundreds of thousands? People get seriously injured in car accidents and don't get that much.
If this was the case, everybody would be suing... no? I don't see any attorneys taking this type of case since damages need to be proven. All the employer has to say is "she wasn't qualified based on her work experience".
While I agree with you about the damages, the reason most attorneys don't take cases like these is because assuming she doesn't get the job, it's very difficult to prove that those questions are the reason why she wasn't hired. In this instance, since she's making noise about it from the get go, it works in her favor.
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| Posted 10/19/16 10:50 AM |
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by CSK
Posted by StaceyWill
I think the point of this post is being missed. No matter what...it is NOT OK to get asked these questions on an interview. Especially, since a man would NEVER be asked the same thing. It's sexist, by definition.
I have to disagree with this.
I'm a man, I haven't been asked the question as blatant, but they do ask leading travel questions and extra time questions that mention family/work commitments. I was especially sensitive in mentioning my son in the interview at all.
I worked in public accounting, that was full of travel and extra hours. If any parent sits there and thinks they can have it all and stay on the fast track, they are deluding themselves. Woman, man whatever. If you're able to eat dinner with your family, make any of the school functions, take time off when they're sick et al, and not staying up half the night working, you're not going to stay on the fast track completely. The only people who I've seen have kids and keep on the fast track had their SO stay home and deal with everything at home.
I don't disagree that they shouldn't have asked the questions in the way they were asked, however, the real goal of the questions were whether travel would be OK for you and whether you could handle the work schedule with your family life, which are perfectly valid concerns for both man and women candidates.
The questions are inappropriate. Its the hire/no hire part that is illegal.
I don't know how your recruiter handled it with the HR department. If he went in guns blazing, I certainly wouldn't want to take the job if it were offered.
If the partner is an old school guy who stepped out of line, but you could deal with, I would have considered rolling the dice and seeing if I got the offer without scorching the earth.
I agree that it is now an awkward situation. I personally would have waited to see if I got offered the position first.
I don't agree with either. I've seen people become very successful who have families even though they work crazy hours but are still available for their families. IMO, no self-respecting modern working person would want to be employed with a firm like that. Or even roll the dice and see. No man would ever be asked if he planned on having kids. It's gross and it's wrong and further puts people back.
The best employers (and the ones that should be rewarded and who have the happiest, most productive employees) are the ones who promote a healthy work/life balance and support families of all kinds. That's the key to having great and loyal employees. Those are the employees who may work long hours but are given some time back to spend with their families. It's a balance, and it's give-and-take. That is what good employers do.
When we continue to overlook these things or make excuses for them, we are furthering the problem.
We should all be doing whatever we can to stop this nonsense now before our kids are in the workforce ( especially daughters.)
And yes those questions are sexist and maybe it's hard to understand if you are a man exactly why they are sexist.
And I must say, it's kind of annoying how it's on the original poster not to scorch the earth when experiencing disgusting 1950s sexism in an interview when she's a career woman and doesn't even have children. Not all women want kids or have them. Should never come up in an interview. Period. And saying that travel - it would be hard on a marriage - come the F on. Talk about mansplaining. Does that guy say the same to the men he interviews? Doubt it.
And boo-hoo that it's awkward… Maybe it wouldn't be if this guy wasn't a sexist asss.
The only way to change this disgusting culture is to call it out.
Message edited 10/19/2016 11:02:45 AM.
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| Posted 10/19/16 11:01 AM |
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Good for you for speaking up. You spared another woman from a negative experience.
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| Posted 10/19/16 11:03 AM |
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I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Is this firm on Glassdoor? Because I would probably note all of this in the interview section.
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| Posted 10/19/16 11:04 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by eroxgirl
Posted by ave1024
Posted by Paramount
The fact is I have them dead to rights to sue them and win. IT could be worth a few hundred thousand dollars. And in fact my recruiter told me he would not stand in my way if that's the route I decided to take. Its not the route I want to take, however.
Again, I don't have any intention of suing
I am curious, when you say it's "worth a few hundred thousand", what are your damages that you could show that make it worth hundreds of thousands? People get seriously injured in car accidents and don't get that much.
If this was the case, everybody would be suing... no? I don't see any attorneys taking this type of case since damages need to be proven. All the employer has to say is "she wasn't qualified based on her work experience".
While I agree with you about the damages, the reason most attorneys don't take cases like these is because assuming she doesn't get the job, it's very difficult to prove that those questions are the reason why she wasn't hired. In this instance, since she's making noise about it from the get go, it works in her favor.
Now I am not a lawyer, but the reason why the attorneys don't take the case is because the OP is not in a protected class.
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/
Since these was no protected class violated, there are no damages if a better candidate was hired. An employer can even say the OP didn't get the job because they weren't going to put the time in.
Now if they didn't hire the OP because she was a minority, or pregnant, or because she was gay, or too old... that's a different story. And asking if somebody is married or have kids isn't technically illegal, it's illegal to base the hiring on that fact alone. See below link.
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/making-sense/ask-headhunter-really-illegal-employers-ask-youre-married/
Any employer can say "a more qualified candidate was hired", hence why you don't see lawsuits in the hundreds of thousands on a regular basis.
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| Posted 10/19/16 11:40 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by ave1024
Posted by eroxgirl
Posted by ave1024
Posted by Paramount
The fact is I have them dead to rights to sue them and win. IT could be worth a few hundred thousand dollars. And in fact my recruiter told me he would not stand in my way if that's the route I decided to take. Its not the route I want to take, however.
Again, I don't have any intention of suing
I am curious, when you say it's "worth a few hundred thousand", what are your damages that you could show that make it worth hundreds of thousands? People get seriously injured in car accidents and don't get that much.
If this was the case, everybody would be suing... no? I don't see any attorneys taking this type of case since damages need to be proven. All the employer has to say is "she wasn't qualified based on her work experience".
While I agree with you about the damages, the reason most attorneys don't take cases like these is because assuming she doesn't get the job, it's very difficult to prove that those questions are the reason why she wasn't hired. In this instance, since she's making noise about it from the get go, it works in her favor.
Now I am not a lawyer, but the reason why the attorneys don't take the case is because the OP is not in a protected class.
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/
Since these was no protected class violated, there are no damages if a better candidate was hired. An employer can even say the OP didn't get the job because they weren't going to put the time in.
Now if they didn't hire the OP because she was a minority, or pregnant, or because she was gay, or too old... that's a different story. And asking if somebody is married or have kids isn't technically illegal, it's illegal to base the hiring on that fact alone. See below link.
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/making-sense/ask-headhunter-really-illegal-employers-ask-youre-married/
Any employer can say "a more qualified candidate was hired", hence why you don't see lawsuits in the hundreds of thousands on a regular basis.
DH is hiring a nurse practitioner for his practice. He said he always asks about family, more like what are your hobbies. Everyone at his hospital has young families though and it isn't discriminatory. Physicians, administrators, nurses, everyone has a family.
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| Posted 10/19/16 11:49 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
Posted by ave1024
Posted by eroxgirl
Posted by ave1024
Posted by Paramount
The fact is I have them dead to rights to sue them and win. IT could be worth a few hundred thousand dollars. And in fact my recruiter told me he would not stand in my way if that's the route I decided to take. Its not the route I want to take, however.
Again, I don't have any intention of suing
I am curious, when you say it's "worth a few hundred thousand", what are your damages that you could show that make it worth hundreds of thousands? People get seriously injured in car accidents and don't get that much.
If this was the case, everybody would be suing... no? I don't see any attorneys taking this type of case since damages need to be proven. All the employer has to say is "she wasn't qualified based on her work experience".
While I agree with you about the damages, the reason most attorneys don't take cases like these is because assuming she doesn't get the job, it's very difficult to prove that those questions are the reason why she wasn't hired. In this instance, since she's making noise about it from the get go, it works in her favor.
Now I am not a lawyer, but the reason why the attorneys don't take the case is because the OP is not in a protected class.
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/
Since these was no protected class violated, there are no damages if a better candidate was hired. An employer can even say the OP didn't get the job because they weren't going to put the time in.
Now if they didn't hire the OP because she was a minority, or pregnant, or because she was gay, or too old... that's a different story. And asking if somebody is married or have kids isn't technically illegal, it's illegal to base the hiring on that fact alone. See below link.
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/making-sense/ask-headhunter-really-illegal-employers-ask-youre-married/
Any employer can say "a more qualified candidate was hired", hence why you don't see lawsuits in the hundreds of thousands on a regular basis.
Asking about a woman's marital status crosses the line. One could successfully argue that she is part of a protected class with questions about marriage, children, plans to have children, etc. It can certainly be hard to prove discrimination in hiring, but the fact that the questions were asked opens the door to potential discrimination lawsuits. While employers may be able to offer a defense that someone else was more qualified, the legal fees spent defending the action isn't worth it. Bottom line is that interviewers should be better trained on what is and isn't illegal to ask. It's unfortunate that these questions are still being asked of female applicants especially in the legal field. Law firms should know better.
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/practices/inquiries_marital_status.cfm
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| Posted 10/19/16 12:09 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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I had a job interview 2 days ago. Got asked sexist questions. ***Small Update at top***
So glad the recruiter took action on your behalf! Keep us updated of anything happens. It's 2016 for Godsale sake and we are still being asked these kinds of questions, ugh makes me sick.
I agree about sharing the experience on glassdoor if the fim is on there. You can post it anonymously.
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| Posted 10/19/16 12:43 PM |
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