I know that it shouldn't bother me...

But sometimes I just can't help it...

One of the guys that I work with, his wife is due in like 3 weeks. This morning someone brought in bagels here, and I was over there with one of the other guys. Soon to be new dad comes over and says to the other guy that his wife just called and the dr thinks she is going to go into labor soon (within the next couple of days.) And I know I shouldn't be selfish, but all I thought was, can't you wait until I walk away??? And then, they just kept going...and another guy came over and they talked about it all all over again, and kept saying "as long as the baby is healthy...as long as the baby is healthy." It took all of my strength to not cry, or, turn around and just say, couldn't you have waited 30 seconds????

I know - everyone else's life goes on. People don't have the hurt and pain that I do. But i just wish that sometimes they would be more sensitive.

Feel free to tell me that I'm overreacting and that I should get over this...I probably do need a kick in the a$$ right now...but, it just struck a nerve...

Thanks for listening

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

Honestly, especially knowing what you've been through, they should have waited for you to walk away. I know he's prob excited, but they should have some respect for your feelings as well, you're only human and what you went through wasnt that long ago.

Hope you're ok

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

ahhh!!!
I'm soo sorry.

I don't think they were thinking. I don't think a lot of people think.

I'm sorry.

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

I'm sorry! I know how hard that must of been to stay and listen to them.

I am sure everyone at work is well aware of what you have been through. They def should of been more considerate of your feelings. Unfortuntely, most men are complete morons and really never think about these things.

I'm sorry!

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

Also just wanted to add....

In response to the title "I know this shouldn't bother me"..... its your right for it to bother you and it's perfectly OK that it does! It would bother just about ANYONE in this position... anyone who's had a mc. I would for sure be bothered too by it. I'm bothered by A LOT of things that people who haven't had mc's just wouldn't understand. So you aren't the only one and your reaction to this is perfectly normal.

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

Thanks so much ladies. It makes me feel better that I'm normal with this. I guess sometimes you just need to hear it from others.

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

I have been there too!!! Do not feel guilty for how you feel. When you face something as horrific as what we have it's DIFFICULT to be happy for people. I quite literally hear of a new pregnancy every other month and it's so aggravating. Not that I'm necessarily NOT happy for these co-workers, friends, acquaintances, or even strangers, but at the same time I don't want to hear about it. It's hard for me and it takes all my strength not to burst out in tears. Especially when I see a single girl end up pregnant who doesn't want to be, or a pregnant girl smoking outside. It's very very frustrating. So do not think that you are alone in these feelings. I'm sure we've all been there. But I'm always careful not to 'judge' these people or become bitter and angry. That's not me and it's not who I EVER want to become. I will be there too someday soon. We all will. Just try to focus on that... and walk away from baby talk when you can

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

Dont feel crazy- people don't think. You have all the right to feel bothered.

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

No way are you over reacting
don't ever feel that way. you have every right to feel the way you want. I'm sorry that you are second guessing yourself as well as sorry for what happened .

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

Thanks ladies. After a little bit I realized that it was okay for me to be bothered by it all...But, I've also realized that people just don't think...

Here's another fun example!

So, the girl did have the baby this past weekend. Of course I am happy for them. Yesterday, the only other woman in my group sends out an email about collecting money for a gift. Sure, no problem. Then, just a little while ago, she sends me an email with links to the things she picked out, asking my advice. Ummm, REALLY??????? DID YOU REALLY JUST SEND ME THAT??? It's not like pretty much everyone in the company doesn't know what happened to me - I was 38 weeks (probably 36 when I stopped working from the office) so it was pretty hard to think that I wasn't pregnant...but besides that, I work extremely close with her!!! I was just in shock. I understand I'm the only other woman, but seriously, ask one of the guys, or make the decision yourself. Don't be that ignorant and do that to me.

GRRRR. Ok, vent over

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

Posted by Bean08

Thanks ladies. After a little bit I realized that it was okay for me to be bothered by it all...But, I've also realized that people just don't think...

Here's another fun example!

So, the girl did have the baby this past weekend. Of course I am happy for them. Yesterday, the only other woman in my group sends out an email about collecting money for a gift. Sure, no problem. Then, just a little while ago, she sends me an email with links to the things she picked out, asking my advice. Ummm, REALLY??????? DID YOU REALLY JUST SEND ME THAT??? It's not like pretty much everyone in the company doesn't know what happened to me - I was 38 weeks (probably 36 when I stopped working from the office) so it was pretty hard to think that I wasn't pregnant...but besides that, I work extremely close with her!!! I was just in shock. I understand I'm the only other woman, but seriously, ask one of the guys, or make the decision yourself. Don't be that ignorant and do that to me.

GRRRR. Ok, vent over

Re: I know that it shouldn't bother me...

Sounds like that women is a complete idiot! I am so sorry you have to be surrounded by this at work.

Especially being a women, she def should of thought twice about sending you the link for the gifts.