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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Seriously people, this was not a thread started to spark a debate. This was a thread started to vent my frustration and sorrow for two REAL PEOPLE. Not some hypothetical debate. My two best friends cannot legally commit themselves to one another, and they are heartbroken and crushes, as I am for them. I don't give a crap what anyone wants to call it. I don't give a crap if you don't agree with me. I don't give a crap about anything other than the fact that my two friends are discrimiated against because they are gay and now their dream of being married is crushed. So please take the debate elsewhere because I find it insulting to debate on a thread about how I FEEL and how my FRIENDS FEEL about this issue.
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Posted 11/11/08 11:07 AM  |
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Kara
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Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by smdl
I understand what you are saying and I do agree somehow.
I did say I was "conflicted". I think it's come from the core of what I think "marriage" is. And yes, I think it's the "word" that is more of an issue. But like I said, we now used new words also because they are politically correct.
In essence, it's is "just" a word indeed but it means a lot more than that to some people. It questions the core belief of 1 man and 1 woman. Which is what I always believed was a marriage. I grew up in such environment. Gay marriage was not even a thought. I grew up where gay people were "different" if not considered "perverts". My dad made fun of the rare gay people we knew. i went to Catholic school. And trust me, Catholic schools in Europe are VERY strict. I am being very candid and honest about this. I have never met so many gay people until I moved to the US. I have worked with gay people. I have talked to gay people and I am learning. I have had to open my mind to a world I was not familiar with. Sometimes fear makes you react a certain way but yet, you can't let go just yet of that belief of the marriage. It takes time to understand. If easy to say "be with your time", "you have to let go", "you have to be open minded". It's not easy to change what you believed most of your life.
Do I think most gay people will have the right to marry in my lifetime? Yes.
And maybe I will be OK with the whole concept eventually. Not just yet.
I understand where you are coming from (I went to Catholic school from Kindergarten through 12th grade, including an all girls Catholic high school, and was raised by religious Catholic parents). I completely respect your opinion and the fact that are you are willing to voice it. 
My point is NOT that marriage is just a word. My point is that marriage means different things to different people already. It already had different meanings, so allowing even more people to use it doesn't change what marriage means to you and many others.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:11 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by prncss
Seriously people, this was not a thread started to spark a debate. This was a thread started to vent my frustration and sorrow for two REAL PEOPLE. Not some hypothetical debate. My two best friends cannot legally commit themselves to one another, and they are heartbroken and crushes, as I am for them. I don't give a crap what anyone wants to call it. I don't give a crap if you don't agree with me. I don't give a crap about anything other than the fact that my two friends are discrimiated against because they are gay and now their dream of being married is crushed. So please take the debate elsewhere because I find it insulting to debate on a thread about how I FEEL and how my FRIENDS FEEL about this issue.
I'm really sorry about your friends. I have friends in the same position. And I'm sorry if I somehow insulted you, as that wasn't my intent.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:12 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
I get very upset about this as well. My BF met his partner around the same time I met my husband. It makes me very upset that anyone would say that their relationship is any less valid than ours. My husbands cousin lives in Florida with her wife and it I know that she was really upset about the bill they passed their as well. I will never understand why people think that the love between same sex couples is wrong.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:14 AM |
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MissRadiant
Happily Ever After
Member since 9/08 2534 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by prncss
Seriously people, this was not a thread started to spark a debate. This was a thread started to vent my frustration and sorrow for two REAL PEOPLE. Not some hypothetical debate. My two best friends cannot legally commit themselves to one another, and they are heartbroken and crushes, as I am for them. I don't give a crap what anyone wants to call it. I don't give a crap if you don't agree with me. I don't give a crap about anything other than the fact that my two friends are discrimiated against because they are gay and now their dream of being married is crushed. So please take the debate elsewhere because I find it insulting to debate on a thread about how I FEEL and how my FRIENDS FEEL about this issue.
Sorry I am guilty of taking your post in a different route. As I originally stated I am so sorry your friends are going through this. Can they go to a state where marriage is legal and have the wedding there?
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:15 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Rach, i completely agree with you, and i feel the same way. My brother and sister (who are both gay) are young and not thinking about marriage anytime soon, but i want them to have the freedom and CHOICE to do so when the time comes. I pray that it comes before they're ready.
I know you're frustrated at the turn the thread almost started to take, but i dont think its really turned into a debate. I think we can all agree that people feel strongly when it comes to religion, but i think everyone here (whether they recognize it or not) is still saying basically the same thing- whether or not you agree with it (and its fine for those that dont) but either way, they wouldn't vote against it. So, despite the difference feelings about the act itself, i think we all agree on the basic rights that everyone is entitled to.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:15 AM |
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
I'm sorry Rachel. It really is a shame. 
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:15 AM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by Blu-ize
I don't get it. It has no impact on society. Why is it something we have to vote on.
I hope I see this change in my lifetime.
Ditto.
I don't understand it. I'm so sorry for your friends.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:16 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by Kara
Posted by prncss
Seriously people, this was not a thread started to spark a debate. This was a thread started to vent my frustration and sorrow for two REAL PEOPLE. Not some hypothetical debate. My two best friends cannot legally commit themselves to one another, and they are heartbroken and crushes, as I am for them. I don't give a crap what anyone wants to call it. I don't give a crap if you don't agree with me. I don't give a crap about anything other than the fact that my two friends are discrimiated against because they are gay and now their dream of being married is crushed. So please take the debate elsewhere because I find it insulting to debate on a thread about how I FEEL and how my FRIENDS FEEL about this issue.
I'm really sorry about your friends. I have friends in the same position. And I'm sorry if I somehow insulted you, as that wasn't my intent.
I don't think it was anyone's intent. I just think people need to look at the fact that I was talking about two real people who I am very close with. And by going back and forth about it, it's just making it less about that and more about who's "right" or who's "wrong" or who calls it the correct term, when it should really just be about the fact that people, real people, are at the center of this. That's all.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:16 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Like my brother's favorite t-shirt reads:
If you're against gay marriage- don't marry one.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:17 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by neenie
Like my brother's favorite t-shirt reads:
If you're against gay marriage- don't marry one.
I love that t-shirt, I've seen it. I also love the:
Stay out of my gay marriage and I'll stay out of your straight divorce
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:18 AM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
People are scared of the unknown.. and for some reason I think they think if two men or women get married that they will catch it..
I could care less who marries who, your in love and want to be together I say go for it!! Its hard enough to be happy in this world, why make it harder for someone, let them be who they are.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:20 AM |
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lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by neenie
Like my brother's favorite t-shirt reads:
If you're against gay marriage- don't marry one.
I joined a group on facebook titled:
"Against gay marriage? Then S T F U and don't get one!"
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:25 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by prncss
Posted by neenie
Like my brother's favorite t-shirt reads:
If you're against gay marriage- don't marry one.
I love that t-shirt, I've seen it. I also love the:
Stay out of my gay marriage and I'll stay out of your straight divorce
One of my college professors had a shirt that said "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is." 
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:29 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
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Message edited 11/11/2008 11:49:05 AM.
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:47 AM |
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mikeandjess
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 2278 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
This upsets me too. The whole thing just seems so outdated. Maybe because I live in NYC I thought homosexuality was more accepted than it really is?
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| Posted 11/11/08 11:55 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by prncss
Seriously people, this was not a thread started to spark a debate. This was a thread started to vent my frustration and sorrow for two REAL PEOPLE. Not some hypothetical debate. My two best friends cannot legally commit themselves to one another, and they are heartbroken and crushes, as I am for them. I don't give a crap what anyone wants to call it. I don't give a crap if you don't agree with me. I don't give a crap about anything other than the fact that my two friends are discrimiated against because they are gay and now their dream of being married is crushed. So please take the debate elsewhere because I find it insulting to debate on a thread about how I FEEL and how my FRIENDS FEEL about this issue.
Rachel, do you friends live in CA? Gay marriage is still legal in several other states, and hopefully the trend will continue.
I hope CA gets prop. 8 reversed, it is very sad.
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| Posted 11/11/08 12:02 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by Kara
Posted by 1stimemom
I have a question ~
What happens now to all the couples that did get married when it was legal? Are there marraiges still legal? If so how could it be "FAIR" that some are married and others can't be?
To the OP ~ That really sucks for your friends
I believe the law was not retroactive, so they should still technically be married. That said, I'm not sure it's so black and white. There may not be a clear answer on that just yet...
I wish I had saved the source, but I read somewhere that they are trying to render those marriages null and void.
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| Posted 11/11/08 12:14 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by SweetTooth
Posted by prncss
Seriously people, this was not a thread started to spark a debate. This was a thread started to vent my frustration and sorrow for two REAL PEOPLE. Not some hypothetical debate. My two best friends cannot legally commit themselves to one another, and they are heartbroken and crushes, as I am for them. I don't give a crap what anyone wants to call it. I don't give a crap if you don't agree with me. I don't give a crap about anything other than the fact that my two friends are discrimiated against because they are gay and now their dream of being married is crushed. So please take the debate elsewhere because I find it insulting to debate on a thread about how I FEEL and how my FRIENDS FEEL about this issue.
Rachel, do you friends live in CA? Gay marriage is still legal in several other states, and hopefully the trend will continue.
I hope CA gets prop. 8 reversed, it is very sad.
Yes, they live in CA.
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| Posted 11/11/08 12:24 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by prncss
Posted by SweetTooth
Posted by prncss
Seriously people, this was not a thread started to spark a debate. This was a thread started to vent my frustration and sorrow for two REAL PEOPLE. Not some hypothetical debate. My two best friends cannot legally commit themselves to one another, and they are heartbroken and crushes, as I am for them. I don't give a crap what anyone wants to call it. I don't give a crap if you don't agree with me. I don't give a crap about anything other than the fact that my two friends are discrimiated against because they are gay and now their dream of being married is crushed. So please take the debate elsewhere because I find it insulting to debate on a thread about how I FEEL and how my FRIENDS FEEL about this issue.
Rachel, do you friends live in CA? Gay marriage is still legal in several other states, and hopefully the trend will continue.
I hope CA gets prop. 8 reversed, it is very sad.
Yes, they live in CA.
My cousin is dealing with the same thing.
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| Posted 11/11/08 12:31 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by neenie
I completely agree.
I think about this alot, and for all of that thinking, i still seriously cannot fathom that, in this day and age, such a blatant disregard for civil liberties is so widely accepted.
I can understand and accept the church not condoning it- their beliefs are deeply rooted and centuries old. I disagree with it, but i understand. BUT, i don't see how the government could forbid it. I don't see what their basis is for this decision, nor do i understand how they can deem this acceptable.
Any argument against gay marriage that i've ever heard has been laughable at best. Especially those that claim that it would make a "mockery" out of marriage. Ummmmm, have you see what heterosexuals, as a whole, have done to the image of marriage? 
Neenie I couldn't have said it better myself!
Thank you for saying exactly what I was thinking!!!
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| Posted 11/11/08 12:34 PM |
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charon54
My two boys!
Member since 5/05 7279 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by smdl
I will be the one here voicing that I do not believe in gay marriages. I believe marriage is a religious sacrament.
BUT I do believe that we should have a 3rd status such a "domestic partner" with the same rights to inheritance, health proxy, health benefits just like a "married" couple would have.
That does not make me "stupid" because I don't believe in it. This is MY belief of what marriage is.
I would also extend the concept of domestic partners to not only gay people but also heterosexual couples who do not want to get married to have such status and benefits.
Not to get into the argument about gay marriage, but as someone who doesn't believe in religion (I was not raised with it, and my DH doesn't practice), would you deny me the right to marriage?
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| Posted 11/11/08 12:42 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by charon54
Posted by smdl
I will be the one here voicing that I do not believe in gay marriages. I believe marriage is a religious sacrament.
BUT I do believe that we should have a 3rd status such a "domestic partner" with the same rights to inheritance, health proxy, health benefits just like a "married" couple would have.
That does not make me "stupid" because I don't believe in it. This is MY belief of what marriage is.
I would also extend the concept of domestic partners to not only gay people but also heterosexual couples who do not want to get married to have such status and benefits.
Not to get into the argument about gay marriage, but as someone who doesn't believe in religion (I was not raised with it, and my DH doesn't practice), would you deny me the right to marriage?
Read my answers on page 2. I am not going to answer every poster who question me. Thank you!
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| Posted 11/11/08 1:40 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by prncss
Seriously people, this was not a thread started to spark a debate. This was a thread started to vent my frustration and sorrow for two REAL PEOPLE. Not some hypothetical debate. My two best friends cannot legally commit themselves to one another, and they are heartbroken and crushes, as I am for them. I don't give a crap what anyone wants to call it. I don't give a crap if you don't agree with me. I don't give a crap about anything other than the fact that my two friends are discrimiated against because they are gay and now their dream of being married is crushed. So please take the debate elsewhere because I find it insulting to debate on a thread about how I FEEL and how my FRIENDS FEEL about this issue.
I am sorry Rach. I hope that your friends are able to marry someday soon. 
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| Posted 11/11/08 1:42 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent about something that has me in tears.
Posted by smdl
I will be the one here voicing that I do not believe in gay marriages. I believe marriage is a religious sacrament.
BUT I do believe that we should have a 3rd status such a "domestic partner" with the same rights to inheritance, health proxy, health benefits just like a "married" couple would have.
That does not make me "stupid" because I don't believe in it. This is MY belief of what marriage is.
I would also extend the concept of domestic partners to not only gay people but also heterosexual couples who do not want to get married to have such status and benefits.
Marriage is not just a religious sacrament because tons of people get married outside the church and are not married by any religious figure.
As a matter of fact God or any source of religion was not mentioned in my wedding because my DH and I are not religious people at all.
Marriage is a legal union, not a religious one.
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| Posted 11/11/08 1:44 PM |
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