Re: I need to vent if no one minds...advice would be good too

I think you should sit down and talk to him. Explain to him that it is a partnership and you both must pitch in. That is what we do.

For the most part, DH picks up after himself. He sorts his laundry (we got a 2 compartment hamper), puts dishes in the dishwasher and etc. We have the rule that whoever is home empties the dishwasher. Explain to him how this bothers you and realize that you need to work together.

GOod luck!

Re: I need to vent if no one minds...advice would be good too

I had the same problem except, I am the cleaner one. Liz and the kids are the slobs - shhhhh don't you dare tell her I said so in public please. Here's what I did. Before bed I asked everyone to give me a hand for 5 minutes. Everyone said sure. I then delegated to each of them to clean up the mess they made. I never said clean up your mess. As an example I said Jonathan, can you please do this...... and Christina I need your help putting ...... away. After a few weeks they finally got the hint and now for the most part clean up after themselves. The trick was I helped them with their cleaning. Do not just delegate without doing some of the work yourself. Although most of the time I just folded the laundry and allowed them to clean their mess. Try it! Husbands should always want to help their overworked wives. If not, then beat the crud out of him!

Re: I need to vent if no one minds...advice would be good too

It's a difficult situation, I have it myself.
I think you are really going to have to figure what will work for you.
I am a bit of a clean freak and DH is a slob. I have resorted to giving him "jobs" one at a time.
If I tell him to put away his dishes every time, it just didn't work and we would end up fighting.
Now, I do the daily basic cleanup - but on weekends I get up early and I delegate jobs to him. As he finishes one, I give him another until everything is in order. He also has certain things that he does during the week, but I have to remind him every day....like the litterbox.

This is what has worked for me...but I think you will have to find your own solution.

BTW, I sincerely don't think they are being mean - they just don't get it. This system works for us cuz DH really doesn't mind doing the stuff, it just isn't as important as catching up on the latest sports score.

Re: I need to vent if no one minds...advice would be good too

I feel your pain. My DH leaves his dirty dishes all over the apartment. As I am typing this, I'm sure there is a dirty glass in the office. For the most part, I pick things up. That's just who I am, I like things neat and I know that no matter how many times I mention that he could help me out and put stuff away, he's not going to do it everytime. I've established my limits and he knows them. He does what I don't and it works for us. I don't:

-put his clean laundry away (i wash and fold but he has to put them away)
-put his dirty clothes in the hamper. if they don't make it there, they don't get washed. he picked up on that one quick
-clean up his desk, closet and other areas that are strictly his stuff. if company is coming over and he hasn't cleaned it, i close the door!


Hang in there. It definitely takes a while to establish routines. We've been married less than a year too but have been living together 5 years.