Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I was just there. DS was the same as your dd. I used to carry him in the Bjorn because that is one of the only places he would sleep. I would also swaddle him really tight and put him in the swing for naps.

It finally got better at about 8 weeks. DS then started liking the boucy seat and the swing. Now, at almost 8 months - he is a dream baby!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I'm sorry you are going through this .

DS (my first) wasn't a great napper and so he napped on me for the first 4 months. The car rides were terrible. He wailed no matter where we went and wasn't until about 4 months old it got a little better. I also wore him in the stores and he was happy then. Once you have a routine down it does get easier. Sweets13 is also right, in that you have to stop comparing the 2. It's hard, my 2 are 14.5 months apart and DS was a great sleeper at night but DD is good for the most part but not like DS. I gave up on it and realized to just accept what it is and figure out a way to make it work.

Now, my first thought after I read your post was something you are eating durning the day might be bothering her since you are BF. With DS, I couldn't have any form of tomato's because of the acid and he was miserable when I ate it. DD it was eggs and dairy (except she had eczema and would scratch herself and she has allergy to both). I would maybe take a look at your diet and try ellimating something and see how it goes. I think caffine, broccoli, milk, gassy foods in general might help. Maybe if you follow a diet that someone with reflux has it might help her.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

max was like this and I either turned the vaccuum on for white noise--my expensive dyson for months!!!!!!!!or a white noise machine/
It took a few months for him.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Since DD#1 has a milk allergy, I've stopped drinking milk, but still consuming dairy in foods. I know I'm likely going to have to cut out dairy completely though . For those who cut out dairy while BFing, did you cut it out COMPLETELY- like even when "whey" is listed as an ingrediant in processed food, you didn't eat it?

For those who asked, I am using the Happiest Baby book- and I swear by it. It DOES help to calm her down, but once we put her down, she starts fussing within a few minutes.

I just did a search of my old posts from when Maddie was the same age- and by 5 weeks we had her sleeping in the cosleeper and in the crib by 6 weeks. Unless a miracle happens in the next 2 days, I don't see it happening.

I want to thank you all for your kind words and advice- it helps to hear other mom's perspectives.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Posted by Sweets13

When we brought DD home, she would fuss and cry alot. The only time she wasn't fussing or cryng was when I would feed her or when she napped. For us, she would nap in the swing and bouncer and was sleeping great at night. But when she was up..SHE WAS UP and let you know it! For me, I was getting frustrated and down on myself because my son was 20 months at the time and just so easy. So here I had a fussy newborn and an angel of a toddler. Eventually I realized it was just her way and there was nothing I could do. She evenually grew out of it but I also stopped comparing the 2 because I needed to realize they were not the same and they both have different personalities....It will get better. She is only 5 weeks and before you know, she will be 5 months and you will be going to Target with both kids on your own

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

The first thing I thought of was perhaps something in your diet that is affecting your breastmilk and in turn affecting your DD. It may not be dairy...it could be bad gas from other foods.

Or maybe she just likes to be held. My friend's baby was like this for the first 3 months, then she cut dairy from her diet (not completely, but cut it down tremendously) and now she is happy in many other places besides her mommy's arms. She believes the 3 month mark made a big difference...

Hang in there...hope it all turns around soon!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I am already afraid of this - DD was an amazing baby and still is - I would hope that this will go by really quickly and you will soon forget about this post!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Stay positive, it will get better. In the meantime, since Eliza seems like she needs that closeness with you, what about trying one of those slings or hip hammock type things? Maybe she'll like it since she'll be nice and close to you, but you can still do stuff you need to do with your hands free??? Just a suggestion. Good luck!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

My ds just turned 4 weeks and I was having the same problem plus trying to care for my toddler too. Things got better after I started giving formula I know you may not want to do this but I could not figure out what I was eating that was making him so fussy.

Hang in there! But try to keep a food diary b/c it could be colic

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

awww, I am sorry you are having a hard time I hope you find a solution soon - I had a tough time with the infant carrier also. DS hated it from day 1.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I'm sorry you are going thru this it must be very hard with two and is something I am worrying about happening this summer when DC#2 comes.

Eliza sounds like DD was at that age. She wanted to be held constantly, sleep only on me, cried in her car seat etc all day long. I couldn't put her down for more than a few minutes at a time.

I found that the ultimate baby carrier did wonders for us - I think they still make it or something similar to it (it is a long piece of material that you can us in 5 different position - sling, front carrier etc). I found she did better when I just wore her. I found that she had reflux and colic so that had a lot to do with liking to be in my arms. I also found she like to take walks in the zippy rather than in her infant carseat. Do you have a regular stroller you can put her in rather than in her carseat maybe she is too warm in there. Most of the time I just found that wearing/carrying her around gave me the opportunity to get things done and appeased her at the same time.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

First time mom here, and I am having the opposite issue and it's worrying me. I wish I could offer you anything other than .

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I felt the exact same way with Jacob. I did not want to take him out in public because he cried constantly. It turns out that he had reflux and once the Zantac kicked in, he was a lot better. Lots of

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

it will get better - kudos to you for going for #2 w/ a busy toddler

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

With BFing, I cut it all out. Whey, carmel coloring...everything. He had a protein allergy to milk and soy, so I was allowed milk fats such as butter.

good luck!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

My son was sooo fussy for the first 3 months of life. It was really bad. Even to this day he is a difficult baby. It really upsets me when people tell me that I just over react and that he is "Easy". I see other people and their babies - they didn't have babies that screamed constantly from the time they woke up until the time they went to bed. I remember even calling the lactation consultant when he was around 9 weeks saying how i feel that i spend my entire day trying to soothe him. at around the 3 month mark it started getting a lot better. he is still kind of fussy - no long car trips or napping in the stroller.... but he's pretty good now. hang in there - it will get better!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

This is tough. DS was a colicky and fussy baby, but it was easier for me in that I only had him to deal with. Like your baby, he slept nights early, but he was always a horrible napper, and didn't like to be left alone much at all. Every night around 4 or 5, the screaming began and ended around 9 or 10 pm when he would go to bed. Now at a year old, I would say he has his very clingy moments, but I don't think he's clingy by nature. I do think he is a little more sensitive to stimuli than some children, so do you think your baby is getting overly stimulated? I would check in with your pediatrician too to see if maybe something else is going on like reflux, but often there isn't anything you can pinpoint.

When he was little I put him in his Bjorn and wore him around the house. This seemed to help. Going out actually helped too--he seemed to like getting out of the house and seeing new things from a young age. Even walks helped, and unless it was bitterly cold, I took him out most days.

And if you ever feel like you are just losing your patience, let DC cry in the crib for a few minutes and try to have a moment by yourself (hard with a toddler I know). This seemed mean to me at first, but it was really the best thing for me and DS.

Luckily, the worst crying ended around 4 or 5 months, so it doesn't last forever, though it feels that way when it's going on.

Message edited 12/9/2008 9:29:54 AM.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I am so sorry you are dealing with this

I cannot imagine having to deal with a fussy newborn and a toddler - scary just to think about

I know when DD was an infant - she just had to be held in our arms. She hated the bjorn, the swing, the bouncy, etc... She slept well at night, but even her naps were short and she would fall right back to sleep (and a nice solid sleep) but only in my arms. I remember feeling like my arms were going to fall off and that was just with one! I hope it gets easier very fast

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Is she gassy? Also does she have thrush or anything like that or yeast infection? DD had slight thrush and it made her fussy and a little uncomfy. Once i gave her the meds she was fine.