I really need to get this off my chest

I was really excited when this board was created. But every so often there is always a paren vs non parent battle. I don't understand why they care or feel the need to constantly act as if we are personally attacking them for having different, and sometimes negative, opinions on kids. When you don't have kids, by choice or not, you may not love every single thing about them. I don't care about cute poopy diapers, throw up and what kind of formula to use. I love the kids in MY life, I don't need to love all the LIF kids as well.

What also burns me is that no one respects this board. You would NEVER see someone start drama on Infertility, Miscarriage or other sensitive boards. But it's like there's free reign to bash us and no one gives a crap about our feelings. It's like we are a joke to them. Its like they cannot comprehend that people on here have their own struggles and circumstances regarding being childfree, that not everyone is happy about it, that society looks very differently upon the childfree.

Another thing that bothers me is that it is perfectly acceptable for people on other boards to have venting posts about what they hate about other people, and everyone chimes right in and agrees...but here, it begets the wrath of the mighty parents. On TTC, there's always posts about hating people when they say, relax, it will happen. On Pregnancy, there's tons of posts about hating people for saying or doing the slightest thing bothersome. On Parenting, there are many posts that constantly judge others. It is so annoying that everyone else can freely say what they want, but we can't.

Basically, what I've learned from LIF is that if I tell my friend who is TTC to hang in there and relax, offering friendly support, I will get reamed on LIF, that I'm so horrifically insensitive. I've learned that if I tell my pregnant friend that I heard such and such about a baby item, I'll be called a flucking idiot because I have no idea what I'm talking about. I've learned that if I give a gift my parent friend doesn't like, my gift will be returned or tucked in a closet. If I say something negative about a kid, well, you get the picture. I find it so hypocritical.

I just wish that women on the Parenting board who don't like things that are posted here would leave use alone. We don't need your opinions. I don't troll post on other boards that don't pertain to me.

Why aren't we shown any level of courtesy or respect for having different lives and opinions? It seems so incredibly judgmental and rude of women who are supposedly so open minded and accepting in the loving LIF community.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

You are preaching to the chior sista!!

We have been complaining about this from day one.

Some people feel they have to "mother" everyone,,,,children and adults alike....



I remember someone making a comment once that why do Childless familes need a board...cant they just post on the other boards?? Guess some people dont think that a family is a family unless there are children involved....sad, very sad,,,,

I cant stand that there are some that lurk on this board just to see if one of us says something "offensive" I certainly dont lurk on the parenting board to see who $hit on the bowl today...



It has just become a clusterfcuk and until TPTB step in and let the ones that start the drama to stop, it will never stop,,,,

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Amen. Obviously its only a fraction of the whole LIF community that pops on here with bad intentions, but it seems that those that do - or those that are SO HIGHLY SENSITIVE to the (IMO, usually sincere and/or thoughtful) comments/gifts/etc. from their CF friends or family members seem to forget that not so long ago, their lives were CF.

Some also forget that NOT EVERYONE ON HERE is CF by choice.

There are stank 'tudes about this board...why, I don't know. Envy of a life without the responsibility of kids? Being able to politely refuse to change diapers? Never having to step into the hellhole that is Babies R Us unless you have a gift to buy? I don't go zooming around on ANY of the boards that pertain to TTC, pregnancy, parenting, blah blah blah because it doesn't pertain to me. I'm CF by choice. I don't give a crap about when your kid gave a crap.

But regarding this, Lisa..

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

glad youre back

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

It's bad enough that I have to go through life having people ask me why I don't want to have kids.
Now, when I am chatting with people who are in the same situation we still have to defend ourselves?

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

I am a parent but I agree with you. Child free families should be able to have a spot to vent and talk too. I admit I do read the board but I read almost all of the boards as I do learn a lot from them.
The only thing that has bothered me was someone who posted that she did not want to have children because she was afraid of letting herself go (in so many words) as that is what she has seen in moms. I think anyone can let themselves go no matter if they have kids or not and I take pride that I try and look my best from the time my kids were born. You can do both and that should not be a reason not to have kids-lol. Any other reason, I usually agree with.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

As a mother of 3 I live vicariously through all of your posts! The vacations, trips, shopping sprees, the comming and going as you please, etc!!

Also, the "child-bashing" posts usually make me laugh because they are often done tongue and cheek

Even though this is the childless board I never think that any posters deep down hate children.

Please keep posting! Although I wonln't trade my kids for anything, I DO remember my life before them. You are all a nice memory of my life before I was called Mommy.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Unfortunately most of us who have been thru this multiple times don't bother to have real conversations and real feelings on this public board.

It's sad how some people's superiority complexes can drive others away.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Posted by Blazesyth

Unfortunately most of us who have been thru this multiple times don't bother to have real conversations and real feelings on this public board.

It's sad how some people's superiority complexes can drive others away.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

I just bash em back. W t h are they looking at this board for? Think about that very thoroughly.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Suggest: when a parent wants to shed their light on us, can we just have a standard snarky uniform reply we all post? I know there's one or two us us good at that

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Agree w/ OP 100%. unfortunately, LIF has "families" as the title and many people (erroneously) imbue "families with kids" into that title..also the fact that you have so many kid-oriented boards on LIF, plus the majority of posters ARE mothers - is a big reason I just no longer post as much. Fact is, we are a minority on *this* board - but we def are not a minority in the real world (esp if you look at the fact that Long Island is closing down elementary schools because of declining enrollment of kids, and that most new households in the US are no longer comprised of 5-6 kids but maybe just 1 or 2 kids at most).

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Message edited 9/17/2013 1:23:34 PM.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Posted by menmyboys

Posted by Blazesyth

Unfortunately most of us who have been thru this multiple times don't bother to have real conversations and real feelings on this public board.

It's sad how some people's superiority complexes can drive others away.

Honestly, F that noise... The other boards on here allow others to vent their frustrations, gloat, etc., without a FRACTION of the BS that you receive here. Yeah, sure, do the breast feeding moms and formula feeding moms go off on tangents about their choices?? ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME! But, like many ppl have stated, if you don't want to hear about it, stay out.

To not continue to speak your minds when you want simply gives them the "power"... Who give a $hit whether or not people are offended... because they have chosen (or perhaps not chosen) a different path for their life doesn't mean that you should re-route yourself.

Keep speaking your minds... Like the PP stated, there are a number of us that are jealous of the time and freedom you have and LOVE to hear about trips and whatnot that are experienced.

I hope this makes sense...

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

I'll just never get it...

There is PLENTY of crap that is said on parenting, pregnancy, or whatever that I don't agree with, but I certainly don't go on there and start drama

Wish this board would get the same respect from all the idiots

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

I love you all for this thread (and this board - although i rarely post). I feel like i wrote half of these posts myself.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

crashing - but in support.

I hope you girls all know that the majority supports you all.

I really mean it when I say that some of my favorite posters, who i find to be so intelligent and insightful, are on the CF board. Sometimes I wonder if it's because they march to the beat of their own drum and I really admire that. I've never been one for cookie cutter lifestyles, and some of the most important and influential people in my children's lives are CF.

you are all appreciated more than it's said; and I think it need to be said more!

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

It's sad but I've given up on posting anything of substance when it comes to being CF and the feelings/issues around it.

There are a lot of jerks on LIF, parents and non parents.

Message edited 12/29/2011 12:57:41 AM.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

I lurk on this board often, and I think its a great board. My children are grown and on there own. My oldest daughter has three beautiful children and she is an amazng mom. My other daughter has no desire to have children she loves spoiling herself, going on trips a few times a yr. And loves her career, she enjoys her two nieces and her nephew and that's enough for her. I respect her choices as I do all of yours. Niether of my sons want children either my youngest says he would not want to bring children into this world, the way things are, again his choice. My point I'm making is you know what is right for you and don't allow anyone to try to persuede you otherwise. Or make you feel quilty for your choices. It is your life enjoy it the way you see fit only you know what s right for you, I commend you all for standing by your. Commitment to yourselves. I had my children young and I admit I am still young and now enjoying time for me, and coming and going as I please, sleeping in on wkends. My motto is its now all about me.yes I spoil my grandchildren spend quality time with them but now I have lots of me time. Enjoy your lives ladies. And your board.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Posted by DrMeg


It's bad enough that I have to go through life having people ask me why I don't want to have kids.
Now, when I am chatting with people who are in the same situation we still have to defend ourselves?

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

I could not agree more...

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

I'm new to LIF, but when I first saw this board I thought it was great. I may crash from time to time, but it's because I waited a long time to have a child and still remember the days when I slept in and could pick up and go whenever I wanted. i have more respect for people that know parenthood isn't for them than those who have a baby b/c they think they're cute accessories. I'm sorry you've had to deal with such harsh judgements.

Re: I really need to get this off my chest

Posted by Mushesgirl

Suggest: when a parent wants to shed their light on us, can we just have a standard snarky uniform reply we all post? I know there's one or two us us good at that