I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

I'm really missing my husband and us being a real family right now. My heart is aching from loneliness and my spirit is feeling rather crushed from having to deal with an almost three year old's tantrums all on my own. In the middle of the night last night, Ava must have had a bad dream and woke up screaming. I was exhausted and couldn't get her to go back to sleep, so I put her in bed with me. I know that when it comes to her, it's the WRONG thing to do because it'll cause a huge back lash the next night, and guess what? She's freaking out in her bed now for the last half hour. I'm just so tired of doing it alone. I miss him so much. I feel like we're not even a family half the time. I hate sleeping alone. I hate having no one to talk to after 8:30pm and I hate that he COULD switch to days, but we'd be struggling financially because the money is better overnight. I just hate it all right now

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

I remember how bad it was when my DH was doing overnight shifts.

Eventually you get into a groove. For example DH would get home at 8 and only sleep until 1 most days so he could spend time with us. That helped a lot and eased the stress for me.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

My sister went through the same thing. My BIL switched to overnights so that they wouldn't have to put my niece the nephew in daycare. It was nerve wracking for her in the beginning but they eventually got into the groove of things. Almost 10 years later he's still on overnights even though the kids are in school now.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

i know exactly how you feel. except for me it's a tantruming 2 yr old and a colicky newborn. it $ucks the most when it's a holiday weekend and everyone else is out.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

I completely understand how you feel and I am so sorry you are taking so much on by yourself in the middle of the night

This scares me with less than 3 weeks away and a toddler to deal with at night. It terrifies me to think of taking 2 hour feedings all night while dealing with a 23 month old who still gets out of her bed during the night

But most of all, it's the time for us all to have as a family that gets wacky and sometimes it is very hard to deal with. DH's schedule is never the same each week which makes it even harder and right now it changes each day. But he does work through the night and then needs to sleep during the day so our only time together is usually around dinner and just after.

I hope it doesn't last too long and things get better

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Thanks, girls. I'm feeling a bit better now because Ava fell asleep. Ugg. It's been a few months now and I'm starting to get into the swing of things and I actually enjoy most of the nights I have to myself, but I really, really miss my hubby. There's talk around his job that he might be offered another daytime position, and I told him if it comes up again to just take it, we'll just cut back. We'd be able to survive, we just wouldn't be able to do all the things we do now like go out to eat, shop, take trips, etc., but in the long run, does it really matter? I'd rather have him here than be able to go shopping every weekend But then again, we really want to have another baby, and with less money coming in, I know he'd want to wait EVEN LONGER to have another one. Ugg. Sorry to be spilling this all. I'm just sad tonight.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

I know your frustration. DH's schedule is always rotating between 1st, 2nd, 3rd shift. And my schedule rotates around him. So one of us always seems to be on overnights. Many times, if we actually climb into bed together, we just look at each other like 'where the hell did you come from?'

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

could she sleep in the room on nights dh works overnight?it might be nice for you also to have the company.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

I totally understand how you feel! My DH works nights now, but he gets home at 12:30, which isn't so bad. However, he starts a new job (a great job), but his hours will be 7 pm - 7am, and I am nervous about him being gone all night, being lonely, and taking care of DD alone when I have to wake up to go to work in the am. It definitely sucks and always wish that he had normal 9-5 hours! The only benefit is that I get to watch whatever I want-- no cop shows!

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

My hubby also works the 7pm-7am shift, and it sucks. He always says it's the 12 hour shift that kills him. Working overnights are one thing, doing a 12 hour overnight is another because it knocks him for a loop.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

My DH used to travel a TON for work and it was so hard being alone. I understand how you feel. I hope it gets better really soon.

Re: I really need to vent. Having a rough night.

I totally understand how you feel. DH leaves at 4;30pm for work and comes home at 2:45am. I have a 1 month old and a 3 year old and I am having trouble dealing woth both at the same time. My 1 month old isnt really into a routine and my 3 year old is such a good kid but its a big adjustment.
Us too we need the cash, he works nights I do days, he's home with the kids during the day, or he wil be again when I go back to work. I couldnt stay home we cant afford it.
I HATE this so much but this is how it has to be to live on LI>>