I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

OK here's the scoop. One of my best friends keeps Shabbat, so she was unreachable Friday night into Saturday. We found out Thursday night that I'm pregnant but I kind of wanted the day to enjoy it before telling anyone IRL (the board is different ) So Saturday night she calls to check on me and I tell her, and she asked who else knows and I mention my two closest friends who I know from here (you know who you are). Her reaction was a bit stilted at that point....and since then I haven't heard from her.

We aren't telling a ton of people this early, just the people I would want to know if something bad did happen so that they would understand and be there to support me. She knew we were trying, we tell each other everything, so obviously I told her that the test was positive. I think she's upset that my two friends from here knew before she did....

How would you approach/handle this situation?

I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

She needs to get over it, quickly. If she wasn't I reachable I'm sure she would've known just as quickly as the other 2. This MUST go deeper. It just doesn't make any sense otherwise. She's taking wonderful/exciting news and putting such an awful damper on it. That's not what a best friend does. I'm sorry mama..

Re: I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

Seems selfish to me... She should be be able to put her petty feelings aside and be happy for you. Sorry, it just seems immature to me.

Re: I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

it's tough bc she didn't actually say she was hurt so bringing it up can be awkward. Hopefully she will either bring it up so you can work it out or let it go. Hope she let's it go. sounds like your relationship is really strong. It would be a shame to fight over something so silly.
If you want to bring it up I would just ask her what's up and see if she says anything. Does she typically hold a grudge?

I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

It's pretty rediculous but some people get offended if they aren't the first to know.. Also some people think it's weird or don't understand the freindships that are formed from this site.. only speaking from experience but they may find it weird that you are close to people you met on a board and it probably makes them a lil jeaous! :( I think its a little immature of your friend but she will def get over it .. I would just tell her you saw them or spoke to them first and they can relate to you and couldn't keep it in.. something to that effect! :)

I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

Been there done that.. it even went long into my pregenancy... long story short, it ruined our friendship in the end. She should get over it and just be happy.

Re: I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

Although I don't agree with it, I can understand how your friend might be bothered that you told LIF/LIW girls before her. I've had 1 or 2 people say a weird comment here and there about the fact that I've made "internet people" friends in real life who I spend time with instead of them.

It's something they're going to have to get over. It's not like you've waited the full 12 weeks to tell her and had a very good reason to not tell her on Friday.

I would just say something like, "Maybe I'm wrong, but I have a feeling that you're upset that you weren't the first person I told about this." If she says yes then you two can have a conversation about it. If she's being stubborn and says no (or really isn't bothered by it) just keep the door open by saying something like, "Oh ok, well I just wanted to make sure because if anything's ever up between us I'd want us to talk about it."

Or something like that.

I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

This is a tricky one. I have to agree with the previous poster that maybe it goes a little deeper then "I'm not the first one you told". Where is she in her life? Maybe shes just reflecting on where she is compared to you. I have a cousin who I thought was going to scream like she won the littoral when I told her. She was less then whelmed when I told her and shes the one person besides DH I tell EVERYTHING to. I just took it as she was a year younger then me, divorced, with a new guy, and dying for a baby.

It sucks that this moment is more about your friend then about hour baby. She will come around. My cousin now calls him "our baby" and is super excited. Maybe text her and go about normal behavior. You can even try and drop the "I wish it wasn't Sabbath do I could have called you right away". Try and maybe work it into the conversation rather then starting a new one based on just that.

Message edited 2/11/2013 12:15:59 PM.

Re: I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

I have no patience for nonsense like that. This is what teenage friendships are like. Adults who behave in that manner really need to grow up and act maturely. I would not feed in to her childish behavior.

Re: I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....

Re: I think one of my closest friends is mad at me for not telling her first....