If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

DD is having major sleep problems and CIO isnt working plus, i feel like a horrible mother for letting her cry till she vomits. To me its not worth it.

I really havent let her cry more than 10 minutes because I makes me so upset to see her sobbing. Needless to say, she has been sleeping in my bed, but we arent to fond of it.

Is there another method to use or should I just let her CIO for longer intervals? When do you just figure out that it isnt working.

I also think she is having some separation anxiety. She always wants her mommy. Once she is in the bed with me she doesnt wake at all. She has never had these problems before so im at a loss here. She is almost 15 months.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

IMO. 10 minutes isn't long enough. Remember that this is so much harder on you than it is on her. She sobs and cries expecting you to give in.

My DS used to cry until he vomited too. So I'd clean him up, change the sheets and put him back in. He stopped doing that quickly.

I also realized that for me, going in to settle them down in intervals, DID NOT WORK. If anything, it got him more crazed and it was like someone hit the "Start Over" button on the entire process.

Try and listen to music or distract yourself from going in and getting her. It'll be difficult, but it will get easier.

Have you tried having DH put her to sleep? Whenever DH puts mine to sleep, they always went down without a peep.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

I say this with all due respect...and new found experience...10 minutes is not enough.

I have always rocked my son to sleep and once asleep in my arms, transferred him to the crib. We never had a problem but in the last week he has started to wake when we put him down. At first we tried several times to rock and put down, rock and put down but it didn't work. And we realized we were only making things worse.

So...with much apprehension we tried CIO. For us, we give him his bottle while we rock him and when he finishes he has 10 minutes of rocking. Then...awake or not we say good night and put him down. The first time he wouldn't go down it took 45 minutes but unlike the attempts we had made in the beginning (that failed miserably) we were able to just go downstairs and get stuff done while he screamed his little heart out . 45 minutes later he was out cold and slept the entire night without a single interuption. For a few nights he would go down easily after being rocked but last night was another bad one for him. He screamed the minute I put him down so I said good night and I love you and left the room. Took 30 minutes and he was out. He screamed louder than the first time but it took less time. It did break my heart to hear him and it hurt even more to listen to him take sobbing breaths in his sleep for the next hour...but again he slept the entire night.

I know I am not doing it the way it absolutely should be done...but he's taken to it well and it seems to work.

Last night it sounded like he was ready to make himself sick but I resolved that whatever happened, happened...if he did I would just clean it up and we'd start again. In the end he needs his sleep and we can't be his crutch any longer...I, personally, feel that we were doing him a disservice by letting him sleep on us for longer periods and trying so many times to get him down.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

Posted by Ang-Rich

I say this with all due respect...and new found experience...10 minutes is not enough.

I have always rocked my son to sleep and once asleep in my arms, transferred him to the crib. We never had a problem but in the last week he has started to wake when we put him down. At first we tried several times to rock and put down, rock and put down but it didn't work. And we realized we were only making things worse.

So...with much apprehension we tried CIO. For us, we give him his bottle while we rock him and when he finishes he has 10 minutes of rocking. Then...awake or not we say good night and put him down. The first time he wouldn't go down it took 45 minutes but unlike the attempts we had made in the beginning (that failed miserably) we were able to just go downstairs and get stuff done while he screamed his little heart out . 45 minutes later he was out cold and slept the entire night without a single interuption. For a few nights he would go down easily after being rocked but last night was another bad one for him. He screamed the minute I put him down so I said good night and I love you and left the room. Took 30 minutes and he was out. He screamed louder than the first time but it took less time. It did break my heart to hear him and it hurt even more to listen to him take sobbing breaths in his sleep for the next hour...but again he slept the entire night.

I know I am not doing it the way it absolutely should be done...but he's taken to it well and it seems to work.

Last night it sounded like he was ready to make himself sick but I resolved that whatever happened, happened...if he did I would just clean it up and we'd start again. In the end he needs his sleep and we can't be his crutch any longer...I, personally, feel that we were doing him a disservice by letting him sleep on us for longer periods and trying so many times to get him down.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

Posted by Ang-Rich

I say this with all due respect...and new found experience...10 minutes is not enough.

I have always rocked my son to sleep and once asleep in my arms, transferred him to the crib. We never had a problem but in the last week he has started to wake when we put him down. At first we tried several times to rock and put down, rock and put down but it didn't work. And we realized we were only making things worse.

So...with much apprehension we tried CIO. For us, we give him his bottle while we rock him and when he finishes he has 10 minutes of rocking. Then...awake or not we say good night and put him down. The first time he wouldn't go down it took 45 minutes but unlike the attempts we had made in the beginning (that failed miserably) we were able to just go downstairs and get stuff done while he screamed his little heart out . 45 minutes later he was out cold and slept the entire night without a single interuption. For a few nights he would go down easily after being rocked but last night was another bad one for him. He screamed the minute I put him down so I said good night and I love you and left the room. Took 30 minutes and he was out. He screamed louder than the first time but it took less time. It did break my heart to hear him and it hurt even more to listen to him take sobbing breaths in his sleep for the next hour...but again he slept the entire night.

I know I am not doing it the way it absolutely should be done...but he's taken to it well and it seems to work.

Last night it sounded like he was ready to make himself sick but I resolved that whatever happened, happened...if he did I would just clean it up and we'd start again. In the end he needs his sleep and we can't be his crutch any longer...I, personally, feel that we were doing him a disservice by letting him sleep on us for longer periods and trying so many times to get him down.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

It is definitley harder on us then them.
When we came back from Vacation, Bryan cried/sobbed for 40 minutes.
Then 2 nights later 30, then 20, and now, a little whimper (last night, not a sound) and he's out.
I agree with the other posters that 10 minutes is not long enough.
I go in my bedroom and turn the TV on, put laundry away, something to get my mind off of it.
One night, I thought I was going to lose it, but, a fellow LIFer (Briansbaby) talked to me on AIM to get my mind off of it...That was a big help too.
I don't know if this will help, but, Bryan sleeps with a little bunny and bear.
Sometimes he will cry, sometimes he will play, eventually he falls asleep.

Good Luck!

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

We did CIO when DD was about 6 or 7 months and it was really great till now (DD is almost 10 mos).

In the last week or so, she has been crying more and more when we put her down. Out of nowhere. I have no idea what's going on (I'm assuming just a new found sense of the world). CIO is SO much harder this time around. The last 2 nights I "gave in" and just stood by her bed with my hand on her as she fell asleep. I think I will continue this method for the next few nights and slowly try to step away towards the door as the nights progress. The way she cries now is so much different than when she was younger.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

DS just turned 10 months today and was falling asleep in our bed every night until last week.

I did not do CIO. I put him in his crib with a blanket, his pacifier and rub his hair/head like I did in our bedroom. I talk to him the same way I did. I do not leave the room. I stay with him. I dim the light to very low. I sit in the glider or fold clothes in this room (yes, in semi dark!). He just stays calm.

I have been doing it for 5 nights so far. Except for night #2 (it took 1 hour and 45 minutes), it takes about 10-15 minutes (2 minutes last night!!!) for him to fall asleep.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

We don't CIO. I know it works but it is not my thing.

That being said, I lay down on the bed with DD and snuggle with her. She falls asleep on the bed and then we transfer her. Sometimes she wakes up when we transfer her and she still falls back to sleep. Mainly we do this because my DD is a lot like her mommy. She needs time to unwind and she will lay next to me on the bed and babble. She snuggles against me and wants to spoon
Some nights it takes 10 minutes, others 30 (depends on how excited she is) but in the end, it has worked for us. Basically, when the experts tell you to put a baby in the crib drowsy but not asleep, it takes so much to get her drowsy that we just let her fall asleep. She is fully capable of falling back to sleep on her own in her crib and she does.

Do what makes you comfortable. I had been doubting my sleep method recently until I had a conversation with someone about something non-baby related and it made me realize why I use the approach I do and why I do a lot of other things a certain way. I realized that I don't have to do CIO because everyone else does. My child will not walk all over me in life if I don't do it. She won't end up being too clingy.

CIO is not the only option.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

I used the "I'm sure they won't be sleeping in my bed when they're 10" method.

I gave it up completely. I napped them in their crib during the day. At night, I tried everything from patting them, to working up to 10 minute intervals, hot water bottles on the crib sheet before putting them down (I thought they sensed temperature changes).

I was ready to go out & steal a cadaver so they had a body to sleep next to but then gave up.

Other alternate methods were:

"You can't wear a dress to school if you wake up in Mommy & Daddy's bed.". This led to Maddie denying that she's slept ever. She insists she wasn't sleeping.

"If you stay in your own bed, you can pick breakfast"

and

leading them back to bed every single part of the night...until I finally go to sleep & they sneak in on DH's side.

At 4 & 6, we occasionally find them in our bed but now we have a king size so it's easier.

Re: If CIO didnt work for you, what method did you use?

It changes constantly with us.

He has never slept in our bed, but wants to sooooooo badly.

I nursed him to sleep forever.

Then I got tired of doing that, so I read no cry sleep solution, did not work for us.

One night we CIO. The crying did not bother me...I gave this kid every minute of every day...I needed a break.

He screamed and screamed, never let up. no crying, he has never had tears before...just screams for me.

Me neighbors heard.

Next night, tried again...jumped out of crib. Then we noticed he had kicked 2 crib bars out. So, no more crib.

Then he moved to his bed in an empty room with a gate.

I weaned him for all night nursings...

I would put him in the pack and play in the living room, he would fall asleep and I would transfer him.

He would get up in the middle of the night and climb over gate. I doubled up the gates...one ontop of another...to find him one night hanging from top gate....so now we are back to one gate hoping it atleast slows him down.

He jumped out of pack and play, so now that is history.

Now, I lay a comforter on the floor with a pillow and watch toy story with him for 10 minutes...then transfer him to bed.

He wakes at 4 AM yelling for me. Our new project is stopping this. I send Leo in there...he doesn't want Leo...we hope he will stop waking knowing that I am not coming.