If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Would you let him? At NUMC the husband and baby are allowed to sleep in the room with you. I kind of like this idea. They get DH a really comfy reclining chair and bring the baby to you. Since I will be nursing, I guess it is better to have the baby with me, rather than the nurses bringing him to me each time...

But I would be afraid to brave those first nights without DH!

We have no other DC... so WWYD?

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Honestly, I wouldn't. You need your sleep, and so does your DH and at the hospital all they do is wake you every couple of hours during the night to take your pressure and temperature so your DH will most likely not sleep while there.

Believe me when I tell you you need at least one of you to get sleep during those first few days (and I can tell you it won't be you) so let him go home and get some sleep. That way when you get home he can give you a break so that you can at least try to get some zz's.

Good luck!

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Yes! At Stonybrook the rooms are private and have a sleeper chair that folds out flat so it's comfy for him to stay over, as well as a bathroom, shower and flat screen in the room. I really don't want to be in the hospital by myself for some reason. Plus I want the baby to stay with us so it will be very helpful to have him there.
I know most BTDT moms will say not to keep the baby in the room w/ you and to rest but I guess we all have to figure it out on our own.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Honestly, my DH isn't going to leave even if I asked him to. I don't want him to leave though because I actually want him there for anything I'd need. I sincerely want him around as much as possible but I have separation anxiety from my DH because of the Marine Corps.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

My DH stayed the first night with me, but that's because I was being induced first thing in the morning. It was such a bad nights sleep for both of us, that I sent him home the following night. He would have stayed but I really wanted him to get a good nights sleep before DD and I came home the following day.

I just want to add that I also wanted DD in the room with me all the time, but I was so exhausted by the time I was settled into my room and everyone left, that I really needed to sleep so I sent DD back to the nursery after her last feeding. They brought her back to me at 1am and then 5am to feed her. At my hospital they also come and take all the babies back to the nursery at 7am until about 9 or 9:30am since that's when the pediatricians do their rounds.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Dh was able to but he went home instead. It was better for both of us, we both good a good rest and then were energized to bring home dd.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

At winthrop and South Nassau they can't. Honestly I wouldn't want him to. Once I sent the baby back to the nursery I took some pain meds and off to la la land I went. We don't have the option now since we will have 2 kids at home that need my DH.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

For me... and my DH.... I'd say more than likely he'd not spend the night. But he always surprises me when I over anticipate his actions.

For one, I do not really see him wanting to sleep in a chair, however comfy it may be. We have dogs and sure can have someone feed and let them out but he'd want to just be in our own bed. I also think he may process this whole thing a whole lot different than me and would be better to ease into fatherhood in our own home. Not like I'll get a routine down in a day or two but maybe I'd want to go it on my own to get myself aquainted with motherhood!

I'm sure he'll stay as late as he can and come as early as he can but that's a thing I'll play by ear as we've both never been through this!

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Just because of how well I know my DH, I wouldn't have him stay at the hospital with me. He sleeps best at home and I would need him to at least be semi-rested for when we came home with the baby.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

It all depends on when the baby was born. If the baby was born during the day time, I wouldn't want him sleeping over. He would stay late enough and then leave so he can be rested for the next day.

If the baby was born after midnight (which she was ) then he stayed for a while and then left around 4:00 to get a few hours of sleep so he could be back by 9:00 the latest.

I have kids; I school aged and 2 babies.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

He was allowed to and there was a comfy bed in there for him actually...but I sent him home. We only live 3 minutes from the hospital, and it made no sense for him to stay there when he could get a better nights sleep and shower/shave at home.

It was nice too b/c in the morning he brought me awesome breakfast from our favorite little bakery...

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Only you'll know how you'll feel. With DD#1, I wanted DH to spend the night. It was a huge comfort having him there- even though neither one of us slept very well. I felt bad he was unable to sleep (even though he never complained)

For #2, I really felt VERY comfortable and even looked FORWARD to him leaving. I just wanted to relax and I also really enoyed having TOTAL alone time with Eliza. I admit though- I did wake up at one point wishing he was there, but took a pain pill and forgot all about it.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

We did - and I had a c-section so he slept in the room with me for all 4 days. I kept DD with us at all times, except when they had to routine checks on her at the nursery.

I thought it was helpful - it helped us bond together and start a routine from the very start, so by the time I was released from the hospital, I *sorta* had an idea of what I was doing, and DH had an idea of what he was doing, and what he needed to do to support me in nursing her.

Nope, we didn't get a lot of sleep because my DD woke up every 2-3 hours and DH would have to give her to me to nurse her, and the doctors kept waking us up to check me and her. But, in the end, you're not going to be getting a lot of sleep anyway once you get home!

ETA - we won't have that luxury this time, as someone will have to go home and put DD to bed, and wake up with her and take her to school.

Message edited 3/3/2009 9:11:49 AM.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

For me it was better that DH got a good night sleep and came back in the morning with my Starbucks and lox and bagel

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

I had a private room and DH stayed with me every night. I was glad he was there with me. I felt like I really needed him and he didn't seem to want to leave.

We did have DD stay in the nursery at night though, which helped us get some much needed sleep.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

I delivered art stonybrook and was in the hospital from wednesday-monday.

DH did not stay over.

That fold out thing is NOT comfy and he was exhausted. IMO he needed some normalcy and to be in his own bed, take care of the house etc. He came really early in the morning and stayed late but there was no reason for him to stay over. Plus.. this gave him an opportunity to stop and get me stuff on the way to the hospital hehehe.

The nurses are in your room constantly, especially for me cause I had BP issues. I kept the baby with me until I wanted to go to sleep and then put the baby in the nursery for a few hours to get rest. I was EXAUSTED, both physically and emotionally and really needed to not worry about DH or the baby for a few hours each night.

PS.. I never stayed in a hospital before and was FREAKED about being there alone...I felt much differently once I had her and saw how tired DH was and how nice the nurses and staff were.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

It's up to him -
If he wants to sleep in the horribly uncomfortable chair @ NShore Manhassett, I don't mind - but I don't think it's necessary for him to be uncomfortable just to 'be there' - I am hopefully going to sleep !!

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

No, but we have DD at home to take care of and it is not an option at my hospital. DH didn't stay last time since it wasn't an option and it was better that way.....he would come back bright and early with food for me, and he was well rested to help out a lot the first days at home. I can't imagine sleeping in a recliner at the hospital with nurses coming in to check things (I had high BP so 1x/hour they were waking me to take my BP) would be restful sleep for him.

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

Dh stayed with my the first night but slept home after that. He had to watch the dog and I really needed my sleep. He would spend all day at the hospital with me though

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

dh was allowed to stay in my private room at South Side Hospital, but I let him go home. He was bleery-eyed after my 20 hour labor (start to finish), and he needed to sleep. The baby stayed in the room with me .

You have to do what's best for you and your dh (well, mainly for you ) hehehe...

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

At Good Sam you are not allowed, but DH can stay until 11:30 at night. I will be so exhausted after that, that I prob. won't even realize he is not there!

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

does anyone know if DH is allowed to stay at NorthShore -Plainview?

Re: If your husband was allowed to sleep at the hospital with you...

I was induced and DH slept over during the induction. The chair bed wasn't comfortable so he slept at home the next 2 nights. I ended up with a c-section so I was in the hospital for several nights. DS stayed in the nursery at night b/c I couldn't get up to tend to him. The nurses brought him to me when he was hungry.

When DS was 2 days old, he ended up in the NICU. DH stayed over the next 2 nights and we went down to the NICU every 2-3 hours so I could nurse him. I'm glad he stayed over then, but I didn't mind that he slept at home the first 2 nights. We both needed to rest as much as possible.