If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Would you

A) welcome her with open arms
B) Try very hard to convince her in a polite way of course that the gesture is kind, but she should prob wait to visit until after the baby is here..

or

C) Move as soon as possible, leaving no forwarding information and disconnect your phone. She'll figure it out

OK so choice C is not an option. However I feel that is what I want to do.

I am in a 2 bedroom APARTMENT with a toddler and I just feel like that week before you deliver is hard enough without having guests. It would be her and possible my FIL (although he would prob join her later).

She plans on staying with us for at least 3 weeks!!!! She hasn't even considered the fact that my own mom is planning on staying with us (We are in virginia, my mom in NY and they are coming from AZ).

I don't get it. Her own daughter is due a month after me and I don't think she plans on being with her for that long!!

*** needed to add..she is a WONDEFUL person with a good heart but she is serious about staying for close to a month. I think its just too much..with adjusting to a newborn and all as well...I welcome the help and appreciate it, but i'm already crazy over this and I'm not due till July!

Message edited 1/26/2009 10:17:07 AM.

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

I would kindly tell her, hell no

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

I would probably pass on the 2 weeks before the due date, but would welcome her with open arms for the 2 weeks after. I thought the first two weeks at home with a baby alone were very hard, but I also had a c-section and no help (my DH had to go to work the day after I gave birth.)

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

You can tell her that the week before you want to spend quality time with your DC before the baby is born....

i would tell you DH to say something since its his mom....

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

choice C! just kidding

my MIL lives very close but if she didn't, i would not want her to stay with us at all. i wouldn't even want my own mother to stay! i love them both dearly but i value my privacy VERY much.

if she was close enough i would ask her if she wanted to come over for a few hours a day (or as often as she wanted) to give DS some attention, and if she lived far away, i would offer to put her up in a hotel.

sorry you have to stress about this! there really is no easy way to say no, but for your own sanity i would

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Um, no thank you. If it was my mother, that would be something different for me. Then I would certainly appreciate the help. But that's just me.

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

I would choose C and never disclose our new information

Can DH politely let her know that as generous as her offer is, you guys would rather have the time before you deliver for yourselves? And at the same time, can he remind her that your Mom is also coming and that a week might be more sufficient? Maybe suggesting she come for another week somewhere down the road to help out would be more welcome? HTH

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

What a sweet offer, but hell no!! If your mom is already going to be there, there is no need for her to be there. Can she come the week after that?? Just word it nicely- tell her that she can have more time with the baby when your own mom is not there. I'm sure you'll make it sound like you're very appreciative, but you must decline.

I also wouldn't want my MIL here before the baby is born. I'm enjoying sitting around in my PJs all day, getting some errands done, and spending time by myself!

good luck!!

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

c. Her visits (in my case) always turn into me being her servant. Thanks, but no thanks.

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Given that we moved 3 weeks ago and we still haven't told her our new address I would say try and find me!

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

I would shoot myself

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

I would tell her to F off and live vicariously through SOMEONE ELSE.

My MIL told us in the hospital that she was coming with us to take the baby home. I told her we'd be okay, and she blatently said, "NO. I'm coming." I said, "no, you're not." THANKFULLY dh is on the same page and told her not to come. I was so friggin ****** that she would even TELL me "no" after I voiced my opinion. That was OUR moment and I didn't want to remember driving our baby home for the first day in the house with HER sitting next to me and barking orders about the baby already. UGH.

Just remember... whatever you allow NOW will set a precedence. Put your foot down NOW so that she doesn't step all over you later. So far, it's working for me.

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

OMG NEVER, not even my Mother!

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

I would run for the hills and never look back...NO WAY...NO WAY......

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

There is NO WAY IN HE LL I would allow it!!!

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

They just don't understand b/c they think they're 'helping' when what they're really doing is causing you more stress and aggravation -

I can MAYBE see dealing with it AFTER the baby is born, but why 2 weeks prior to your due date ?? WHO the hell wants house guests at that time ????

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

I would definately say no. I bf and really could not have my mil in my home for to full weeks after birth. Although she may have been helpful, it would have been more difficult in other ways. Saying in a hotel and visiting each day would be a great help, but not staying with me.

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

Unless you are having a scheduled c-section I think it is totally insane for her to say she is coming the week before. How does she know when that week will be??

I would tell her how much you appreciate the offer, but that your own mother is coming and ask her to come after your mother leaves.

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

agreed. It may be nice to have her around to help, but maybe not in your house. is there somewhere local that she can stay other than with you? if not, i would say maybe a few weeks after the baby is born.

Re: If your MIL wanted to stay with you a week before your due date until 2 weeks after baby was born...

I would say no, especially to the before.... I had the talk with my husband first. I told him that when he carried a baby around for 9 months, pushed it out of him, had milk leaking everywhere and bled for 3 weeks afterwards, he could decide when and who came to stay with him.....so, that means, that I get to decide. I told my DH, if his parents want to come right when the baby is born, they will need to stay in a hotel - but then again, my in laws expect me to entertain them...... otherwise, if they want to stay at our house, they could way 2-3 weeks after the baby is born. but then again, my father in law will be coming also.