Re: I'm just beside myself about this move to Chicago thing

Posted by MrsPorkChop

aww lana im sorry you are so upset sweetie. i feel so bad that you are taking this decisoin so hard.


can they give him a time frame then allow him the option to come back to ny if he wants to??

i always told dh, we have no children we can move anywhere- make a ton of $ - and come back if we want to. depending on who makes the household money, in our house at least, that is who dictates where to live.

i cant tell you how much i loved chicago when i visited. i absolutely loved it. its like a decaffinated nyk. cleaner, friendlier and sooo many cool activites to do! you would not have any problems making friends or meeting people. the shoping is out of this world and the restaurants are absolutely amazing. plus all the crate and barrel stores! duh! i can actually say that if dh got a high paying job in chicago i personally would jump on it.

its not that far sweetie- its like a 2 hours plane ride! and you can even drive it!!!

you should see how cool it is- the lake is there- it looks like an ocean and you go to the beach and the city is behind you. its just so cool! and so many fun things to do.

awesome areas to find a place to live- there are a ton of great little areas to live- up and coming - and you will have no problem getting a great house townhouse or condo there.

please do yoursenf and dh a favor and try to visit before making this decision. try to see what chicago has to offer before totally rejecting it. just do that for him. i think you will have a different opinion of it after seeing it!!

just remember that song- youre my home by billy joel-

"whenever were together your my home...home can be the pennsylvania turnpike- indiana's early morning dew..high up in the hills of california..home is just another word for you."

definitely rings true for me and my dh



COOL CHICAGO PICTURE SLIDESHOW

EXAMPLE OF AN AWESOME CONDO RIGHT IN THE HEART OF THE CITY

Re: I'm just beside myself about this move to Chicago thing

If it were me, I would not go. Especially since financially you are not struggling here. If moveing would give you a much better life in terms of housing, children, etc, then MAYBE I'd consider it...but I'm also very close to my family, and there is no way I'd be happy without them...

JMO

Re: I'm just beside myself about this move to Chicago thing

Sorry for the novel but I know what it's like to just decide to move to another state with no family around.

Moving to another state is hard, especially when you have no friends or family there.

Friends of ours moved to FL and would always tell us how wonderful it was. DH was getting tired of the snow and the BS that seemed to go with things in NY (job wise) and before even going to FL he knew NY was not for him anymore. I on the other hand was dead against a move. I'm a city girl. I like the nightlife, the shopping, the city, the food, the culture, the seasons and most of all my family was near by. I would not even talk about FL or leaving. I'd get very mad at the him for even thinking a move.

BUT how would I know if I would like FL unlesss I went to visit and see. Maybe for me it would be one of those nice place to visit just dont want to live there. I've been to FL before to visit family but I was a lot younger and havent been in years. So in February of 2002 DH (we were still dating) we got 2 plane tickets to come down and visit our friends. I was still in the mindset of I am not moving to this hot state. I will not do it. I'll visit and enjoy the visit but I will not move to it.

We land and I walk through the airport still keeping in my head "this is just a visit". Then we head to our friends home. As we drive through North Port the houses are so pretty, their really isnt many of them, some of the roads aren't paved, and palm trees everywhere. It's February and people are in tank tops and shorts. Where am I??? We pull up to our friends home and it's absolutely gorgous. Well manicured lawn, no neighbors yet, and i was a lovely drive to them. We get settled in and decide on dinner. Ok we have to drive everywere. um not liking this already. but oh well it's a rental car so lets take it.

A few days later we go to look at some model houses. OK I'm liking the houses and the prices. I'm in sticker shock over the price. I just cant believe a house is $100,000 (in 2002) and the builder is willing to work with new homeowners. This is not right. I'm from NY what's the catch??? No catch.

We look at some lots and they are going for $2900. What is this nonsense I am in? We go back to NY and I think ok well what if we invest in a lot only. We can sit on it and if we dont move or something happens between us we'll set it. It's only $2900 and a good investment. So we purchase a lot. We knew which lot as we already had info on it. So I called the guy who owned it and before I knew it I had a deed in my hand.

We get engaged Sept 2002 and come back down to FL to visit. A little excited this time because we have land and I wanted to see how our block and the area again. Was this a bad investment or a good one?

At that same time I lost my job so I was really bummed about it. The thought of job searching and what if I start a new job I'm not going to want to leave. To me it seemed like a move was not possible and lets just sell the lot and forget all about it. Dh was not letting it happen. He had a vision of us and it wasnt in NY. He would not let me just throw in the towel and convinced me it's only a lot of land it's not going anywhere, just let it be and if it's meant to be it will be.

So I collect unemployement and do periodic temp work and start to get into a depression. The winter was approaching and no perm job. Tons of interviews, it's getting cold and I'm starting to get beat up by the interviews and the idiots that are doing them. It just seemed each interview was getting worse and worse. Dh was in the airport and was starting to feel my depression. It really does effect everyone. So we came back down to FL for a visit and a battle plan b/c NY was not working for me anymore. The city that I loved was not even throwing me a bone. So I decided this is it, maybe a move is good for us and I told DH yes lets do it. So he and I decided we needed to get our finances in order. We need to get things straightened out as best as we can. And we did. For 1 year we struggled and did what we had to do. In March of 2004 he put in for a transfer. I didnt think it would come that soon. It came at the end of March. He had to report to his new airport of Fort Myers by April 7. I stayed behind to finish packing b/c it came at a complete surprise and I was still doing a temp job that would be ovr in May.

May 2004 I came down. 2 years later I love it. I love my office, my co-workers, waking up Sunday mornings and sitting on the lanai watching the birds fly by. I miss my family and some things of NY but this gives my family reasons to come visit and I love the company when it comes.

Sorry for the long post. The moral of the story, go visit. You dont know unless you go. Their's no place like home and who said you cant go back. What is meant to be will be. Go for a week but go with a clear head and an open heart. Dont go with the I'm not moving, go with the ok new place, new people lets see what you have to offer. C'mon Chicago wow me. And family will always come to visit. This thanksgiving is the first thanksgiving my parents are coming down and I get gitty just thinking about how this year the 4 of us (my parents and us) will be sitting around the dining room table for the first time in the house for thanksgiving.

If you go and visit and dont like it then decide, but what if you do???

Message edited 10/29/2006 8:58:41 AM.

Re: I'm just beside myself about this move to Chicago thing

I also wanted to add that I have been to Chicago on business and it is an awesome place. I agree with everything MrsPorkChop said in her post! The shopping and restaurants were amazing and the lake is beautiful.

If you do visit, you have to go to here for dinner... The Melting Pot

Re: I'm just beside myself about this move to Chicago thing

Message edited 10/29/2006 2:31:56 PM.

Re: I'm just beside myself about this move to Chicago thing

As someone whose entire family packed up and moved to different states- I can tell you that it hasn't change our relationships at all

yes I miss my Dad, Brother and sister- but I am still very close with all of them
and see them all alot during the year- chicago is close enough to fly home for the weekend and every holiday

I think it's a very hard decesion to make- but it's a great city- like NY but cleaner, cheaper and colder

it could turn out to be a great oppertunity for both of you- I am sure you could find an awesome job there and boost your resume at the same time

NY and your family will always be there for you- and the timing will NEVER be perfect in life- that's just the way it is

personally I would give it a try- but RENT out your townhouse- don't sell it yet and rent in chicago- so you can give it a try for a set amount a time- and then if you hate it- you guys agree to move back home

but I think you should give it a try like MrsPorkChop said- your young and you have no childern- this is the best time to do something like this! you only live once- it's an adventure!