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VanderZwang
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 740 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: Is an apology valid if it is followed by an explanation?
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I think that is actually a well thought out and well worded apology. It sounds like someone put a lot of effort into providing a nice apology and accepting some of the blame for the situation - I see nothing wrong with it!!!!
VERY well said.
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Posted 4/20/11 10:31 AM  |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Is an apology valid if it is followed by an explanation?
Posted by jerseypanda
Posted by GoldenRod
If you don't even TRYto explain why you're sorry, then I don't believe it....
I think your statement right here really hits the nail on the head for me.
I believe when giving an apology, you need to state WHY you are apologizing. If you just start and end with "I'm sorry" it's not quite enough.
Ex: I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry that I ate the leftover food in the refrigerator that you were planning on eating.
I'm sorry that I said hurtful things to you.
But that is where it needs to end. If you proceed to go further and tell me why you did what you did, then I don't feel like you are really apologizing, you are justifying.
Ex: I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. You did actually say mean things to me also and I felt attacked.
I'm sorry that I ate the leftover food in the refrigerator that you were planning on eating but I was really hungry.
I'm sorry that I said hurtful things to you but my buttons were really being pushed.
For me, that is where the difference lies.
Exactly! You explained it very well. There is a difference between explaining why you're sorry, and explaining why you did it in the first place".
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| Posted 4/20/11 10:34 AM |
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LI12345
LIF Infant
Member since 10/07 193 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is an apology valid if it is followed by an explanation?
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I think that is actually a well thought out and well worded apology. It sounds like someone put a lot of effort into providing a nice apology and accepting some of the blame for the situation - I see nothing wrong with it!!!!
i agree.
what i can't stand are people who apologize by saying, "I'm sorry YOU were upset..." to me that is not an apology.
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| Posted 4/20/11 11:39 AM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Is an apology valid if it is followed by an explanation?
Posted by LI12345
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I think that is actually a well thought out and well worded apology. It sounds like someone put a lot of effort into providing a nice apology and accepting some of the blame for the situation - I see nothing wrong with it!!!!
i agree.
what i can't stand are people who apologize by saying, "I'm sorry YOU were upset..." to me that is not an apology.
OMG, I HATE that!!!! DH does it all the time!!! 
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| Posted 4/20/11 1:18 PM |
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AnxiousPants
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 864 total posts
Name:
EDD 10/22!
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Re: Is an apology valid if it is followed by an explanation? - updated with thanks & a little more info!
bump - updated with thanks & a little bit more info
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| Posted 4/20/11 2:20 PM |
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AnxiousPants
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 864 total posts
Name:
EDD 10/22!
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Re: Is an apology valid if it is followed by an explanation? - updated with thanks & a little more info!
Posted by Mssissy
Posted by AnxiousPants
"I'm very sorry for the hurtful things that I said. I felt attacked, and sometimes we all say things out of anger. I know your intention may not have been to attack, but sometimes the perception is different by the one of the receiving end."
The apology has not been "accepted" because it came with an explanation.
What do you think?
So you felt attacked.
Reacted to it.
And the person isn't accepting YOUR apology or reasoning behind it?
I think your apology was fine. And JMO, it sounds like they need to apologize as well. A simple.."sorry, I didn't realize I was coming off that way". Would smooth things over faster than "I'm not accepting your apology"
And to answer the question. I wouldn't have an issue with an explanation following an apology.
Yep - you pretty much hit the nail on the head!
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| Posted 4/20/11 2:22 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Is an apology valid if it is followed by an explanation? - updated with thanks & a little more info!
I agree with the PP. Some people just like to stay mad. Just realize it takes a lot more energy to be angry than to be happy and it's her/his loss.
I think your apology was fine.
It takes two to tango ya know.
Message edited 4/20/2011 2:56:48 PM.
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| Posted 4/20/11 2:56 PM |
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AnxiousPants
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 864 total posts
Name:
EDD 10/22!
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Re: Is an apology valid if it is followed by an explanation? - updated with thanks & a little more info!
Posted by Blu-ize
I agree with the PP. Some people just like to stay mad. Just realize it takes a lot more energy to be angry than to be happy and it's her/his loss.
I think your apology was fine.
It takes two to tango ya know.
Thank you for that, I will try to keep that in mind.
The worst part is this person is missing out on knowing details about my pregnancy  and THAT will definitely be their loss in the long run.
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| Posted 4/20/11 7:14 PM |
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