Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

So I recently started a business, that to my surprise has really taken off beyond what I expected.

I am basically working while Talia is in school, and at night after she goes to sleep.

When I am with her after school, it's my time with her.

Well...at least that was the plan. Lately I find myself SO busy that even when I am with her I am having to spend some time on the computer (although sometimes are worse than others and it's manageable).

What I didn't expect is that all my other SAHM "duties" are still the same and I just don't seem to have the time. Things that used to get done easily like laundry, bills, errands, etc... are falling to the wayside at times.

Now, I am expecting another baby - which means no free time since he obviously wont be going to school.

I have hired my cleaning lady once a week instead of every other week to help, but what else can I do to make things a little easier and STILL be able to be with my kids? (Dh thinks I need a secretary!)

Any advice on how to do it all???

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

You sound like you have a LOT on your plate!!

Is there anyway you could hire someone for a few hours/week to do some of the work? I am not sure what your business is...but it might really help ease the burden.

I just started assisting someone in a similar position for about 5 hours/week. It's not a lot of money I'm making but its enough to help pay a bill and it has really helped her out. I found the job on craigslist.

Aside from that...I would turn to family if they're able to help with anything around the house or with your business. And if you need to ignore a few household things until you can both do them on the weekend that is what you'll have to do (although I know its hard to let stuff pile up!!).

Its tough to be a SAHM who works...I have worked from home since DS was born..I've had 3 different jobs since then but no more than about 15 hours/week..it seems you have a lot more than that and its impossible to do it all in that situation....

Sorry if I were no help, but it does seem like hiring someone for a few hours is a good way to go. Good luck to you!!!

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

ps-to answer your orginial question...it might be possible to "have it all" but at what price? You don't want to burn out completely b/c either the business or your kids will suffer. You need a break of some kind...I'm sure it'll all work out!!

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

It is very tough. I also have my own business and unfortunately I find myself working often after dh gets home and through the night. I'm a zombie but it is the only way I've figured out how to get the work done especially at the beginning since ds was a very tough and colicky newborn. Now that he is napping and a bit more calm during the day I'm able to get more down. Dh does most of the housework - if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be able to do the business.

Once ds is a little older (1yr+) and I remain very busy I will be looking for daycare for him 1-2 days/wk

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

I kind of agree with your DH - What about a mother's helper, or a pt assistant to help with the business? A lot of college kids are home for the summer.

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

I would also hire a mother's helper. Also, I am not sure if you do your bills online or not but I write out all my bills the month before and when I am paying them (dh gets paid weekly) and I do that once a week. You could do that and then just schedule when they need to paid through your bank. Laundry, how about sending it out when the baby comes until you get things organized. If you have dry cleaning I know they have places that offer free pick up and delivery.

How often is Talia going to school for next year? Do they have a half day, 5 days a week or maybe 3 full days.

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

I work PT and really have had to drop my business a lot. There is just not enough time for me to do it all.

I will pick it up when DS goes to preschool.

You need to assess your needs. What do you need help with? Is that cooking, groceries, yard, errands, etc...? Do you need help with the business? i.e. filing, sending brochures, printing emails, sorting correspondence and answering back to customers/suppliers.

Once you have established what you need you can then decide what to do, if you need to hire someone, etc..

I suggest writing a list for both home and business. Writting it down will make sure that you are not forgetting anything. Whether it's help at home or in the business. You need to treat that as a project. What needs to be done, how am I going to do it.

Example:

If you need help with DC after school:
- nanny
- mother helper

Cooking:
- spend 1 day per month/every 2 weeks to cook all day and freeze dinners

Groceries:
- Peapod

Business:
- Hire someone who wants to work only a few hours per day/week. Filing/sorting, writing quotes, etc...

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

OMG...we are in the SAME. EXACT. BOAT.

I have soooooooooo many orders (which I love, btw ), but sometimes I feel I have no time to do them.

I feel it hasn't gotten easier with the kids getting older either.

Between school pickups, dropoffs, playdates (hosting and attending), school functions, volunteering (PTA), cooking, homework, soccer, laundry., etc.... there is NO time left in my day.

What I do now is this:

During the day, I do all the above mentioned stuff.

My kids are both in bed by 7:30pm.

As SOON as they are in bed, I work on my orders.

I work until about 11pm.

So I have a solid 3.5 hours that I solely dedicate to my work...and I get a lot accomplished in that time.

If I had to start and stop it a million times during the day, it gets very frustrating.

I do have a cleaning lady, which I love.

In the summer, I might hire a girl on my block for a mother's helper sort of thing, for a few hours a week. Just so I can get in some work during the day as well.

But I tell you...I love having my own business. I love having my "own money", since I have been a SAHM for over 7 years!

Good luck...it all works out..

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

Val - this might be a weird question...but when do you spend time with your DH? My DH is training for a triathalon - so he is barely home and after T goes to sleep I try to work, but I want to see DH too and that is only time I really get to spend with him.

SMDL - Your advice is priceless...I guess I do need to figure out exactly what are I need help in. Thank you!

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

DH...who's that?

I bring all my work upstairs, and work on the couch at night.

The DH sits right next to me.

We "watch" (he watches, I listen) TV together while I work.

It's not a thrill, I'm sure. But both of us are exhausted at night anyway.

That's why we all live for weekends in this house.

Do you have a laptop? Can your work be done somewhere in the house where you have a common area where you can hang out together while you work?

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

yes, I do all my work on my laptop - usually in bed at night with DH. I am thinking he finds it less than romantic though.

You know i can say well I'll only work for an hour...then its quiet time with Dh - but you get caught up in finishing and doing more...at least I do. Luckily he is supportive in this whole venture.

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

OMG Jen - I talk about this all the time. I feel like I can't be a SAHM and work at the same time - too many things are left undone.

I love what I do - I"m so ridiculously happy doing it but at the same time, my house is a disaster and if I showed you the piles of laundry I have you're mouth would be on the floor. Its gotten to the point of no return, I can't catch up. I did 5 loads of laundry yesterday and you can't even tell!!!!!

I always feel like someone around here gets the shaft - there just isn't enough of me to go around.

What I usually do is:
read emails and answer a few in the morning
afternoon when the kids are in school I either do a shoot, go home and get stuff done, food shopping etc.
Get kids and straighten up, cook dinner.
Clean up dinner, kids in bath
After bath is family time
8/8:30 kids in bed and from that time until 11:00 is Neil's time
11:00 - 2am - I work

I don't sleep much but with Neil losing customers and no one doing the extra work with him I can't hire anyone to help me out b/c we are really counting on my shoot money to pick up the difference.

My theory is as long as everyone has a pair of clean underwear and socks and I've cooked a relatively decent meal its a pretty good day

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

I work FT but work from home one day a week.
It's hard to get everything done. I work whiel the kids nap and play with them in between.
We have the cleaning lady every other week. And I leave laudry for the weekends.
I pay bills twice a month and that only takes about 1/2 hour - and I do that on a lunch break at work.

Errands have to get done on the weekends or occasionally during lunch breaks. But I don't shop much and do some shoppign on line. I grocery shop early on Sunday mornings for the week.

DH and I spend about 1-2 hours a night together on the couch.

It's a busy life that's for sure and I think it is impossible to have quality time every day.

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appreciate it!

Re: Is anyone a working, SAHM? Advice...can I have it all?

I have my former full time job in NYC still which is 1-4 days a week ( just until the end of the year) plus an at home job and twins under a year.

i feel the same way you do. the best thing i have found is working art night after they are sleeping but its hard. I email work people at all hours and if my husband happens to finally be home form work i don't get to see him....

i would love to hire help but as i know its only 6 more months we are string to save as much of the money i make as possible. its not easy. i have a nanny come when i am in the office and then i have my mom come a couple times a month and then we have a cleaning service but they don't come nearly enough. we have pets and i feel as soon as they are gone the house is already dirty again! since ii dont go to thew officer often my mom often comes the dam day as the nanny otherwise the day is really long for her. so its not really extra help.

its not easy. but its not forever.

i think if you can hire someone to do any tasks for your job that would make you happier than hiring someone to care more your child. if you are bringing in enough money, start paying for convenience, getting dry cleaning & groceries delivered, ordering take out etc.

GL