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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
I would either get a sitter, or decline before asking to bring a sibling. I think it's bad manners.
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Posted 1/30/19 4:05 PM  |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
I’m sorry but even if it’s an open play area, I would not bring your other child being that the party invitee is only 4. Are you not planning on helping negotiate peer interactions, help if they are overwhelmed by some aspect of the environment, or help when he/she needs a napkin or more to drink at a party? Are you going to leave your 4 year old at the party part so you can supervise your older child? I work my *ss off when my girls attend parties (especially age 3-5) and I personally would be pissed if a parent were to disappear, whether it be at my own kid’s party, or another parent where we were invited and I had to do everything for that other kid. Yes there are the party helpers but kids at this age still need parent intervention. Sorry just my opinion. I would hire a babysitter or politely decline.
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| Posted 1/30/19 9:07 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
People are obviously going to disagree about if it’s rude or not (like you see here....) but what it comes down to is we’ve all been that mom in a lurch who wants to do what’s best for their kid. I think all party hosts will view it differently so there’s no sense in wondering if it’s rude. Maybe the party hosts will think so, maybe they won’t... If your kid really wants to attend the party and you have no other option for the sibling, well, ya do what ya gotta do. Chances are the hosts (especially if they have more than one kid) have been in a similar situation and they get it. It’s not the end of the world either way. You definitely won’t be the first or last parent in this scenario. In fact, my 5yr old ds has had this happen at every single one of his parties. One time a mom brought TWO additional siblings. The alternative was not being able to come at all.
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| Posted 1/31/19 7:46 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by ChristinaM128
I’m sorry but even if it’s an open play area, I would not bring your other child being that the party invitee is only 4. Are you not planning on helping negotiate peer interactions, help if they are overwhelmed by some aspect of the environment, or help when he/she needs a napkin or more to drink at a party? Are you going to leave your 4 year old at the party part so you can supervise your older child? I work my *ss off when my girls attend parties (especially age 3-5) and I personally would be pissed if a parent were to disappear, whether it be at my own kid’s party, or another parent where we were invited and I had to do everything for that other kid. Yes there are the party helpers but kids at this age still need parent intervention. Sorry just my opinion. I would hire a babysitter or politely decline.
We went to a couple parties last year when my son was 4 and the same friend was just dropped off by the parent. Like just brought in, and the parent came back when the party was over. My husband had to help the other kid wash his hands after using the bathroom and cut up his pizza....... I mean... he did it because he’s a nice guy but we don’t know the parents and this was never an arrangement that was made. What if my son and husband weren’t there? See, THIS scenario I just don’t understand. Not for a 4 year old.
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| Posted 1/31/19 7:52 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by NYCGirl80
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m obviously in the minority here but I would find it completely and utterly bizarre if I noticed a second child tagging along with another kid/mom and subsequently in the food/cake area and the mom didn’t say anything.
ITA.
If I wanted to bring one child to a party, I would either hire a babysitter or see if another parent could take my child to the party.
im with you guys!
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| Posted 1/31/19 8:07 AM |
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ap123
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 268 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
I just decline in situations like that. My view is that if everyone did that the party would be double the size and anything more than 15 at a 4 year olds party sounds like insanity to me! And I understand that kids want to go to parties, but I’d rather tell my child no than put the host on the spot.
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| Posted 1/31/19 8:37 AM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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Is it rude to ask?
I don't really get why people think its rude when its an open play type of place?? My one dd just had a bday party for a friend at skyzone... I brought my older dd and paid for her. they both jumped and did their thing while I walked back and forth checking on them. When it was time for the pizza/cake - my younger one went in the room as all the adults sat outside (there was a ton of kids in a little room) - I bought my older daughter food from the place itself and she sat out with the adults and ate her own food.
It was OPEN PLAY and about 100 other kids there that were not part of the birthday party. I don't think anyone even noticed I had a sibling there lol
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| Posted 1/31/19 3:48 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by Aries14
I don't really get why people think its rude when its an open play type of place?? My one dd just had a bday party for a friend at skyzone... I brought my older dd and paid for her. they both jumped and did their thing while I walked back and forth checking on them. When it was time for the pizza/cake - my younger one went in the room as all the adults sat outside (there was a ton of kids in a little room) - I bought my older daughter food from the place itself and she sat out with the adults and ate her own food.
It was OPEN PLAY and about 100 other kids there that were not part of the birthday party. I don't think anyone even noticed I had a sibling there lol
This is what i was thinking. Its a 90 min party at XPLORE lol. Not hiring a siiter for that
Message edited 1/31/2019 7:01:47 PM.
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| Posted 1/31/19 7:01 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by Aries14
I don't really get why people think its rude when its an open play type of place?? My one dd just had a bday party for a friend at skyzone... I brought my older dd and paid for her. they both jumped and did their thing while I walked back and forth checking on them. When it was time for the pizza/cake - my younger one went in the room as all the adults sat outside (there was a ton of kids in a little room) - I bought my older daughter food from the place itself and she sat out with the adults and ate her own food.
It was OPEN PLAY and about 100 other kids there that were not part of the birthday party. I don't think anyone even noticed I had a sibling there lol
100% agree. It's a PUBLIC place
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| Posted 1/31/19 7:09 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by ap123
I just decline in situations like that. My view is that if everyone did that the party would be double the size and anything more than 15 at a 4 year olds party sounds like insanity to me! And I understand that kids want to go to parties, but I’d rather tell my child no than put the host on the spot.
As someone who has hosted more parties then I wish to count...this makes me sad because I would much rather have someone reach out and ask then decline the invitation because of this situation.
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| Posted 2/1/19 9:34 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by ap123
I just decline in situations like that. My view is that if everyone did that the party would be double the size and anything more than 15 at a 4 year olds party sounds like insanity to me! And I understand that kids want to go to parties, but I’d rather tell my child no than put the host on the spot.
As someone who has hosted more parties then I wish to count...this makes me sad because I would much rather have someone reach out and ask then decline the invitation because of this situation.
And I agree with this too. Seeing how excited my daughter gets to have all her friends at her parties- I would do anything and accommodate anyone to make it happen. It's once a year.
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| Posted 2/1/19 9:42 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Aries14
I don't really get why people think its rude when its an open play type of place?? My one dd just had a bday party for a friend at skyzone... I brought my older dd and paid for her. they both jumped and did their thing while I walked back and forth checking on them. When it was time for the pizza/cake - my younger one went in the room as all the adults sat outside (there was a ton of kids in a little room) - I bought my older daughter food from the place itself and she sat out with the adults and ate her own food.
It was OPEN PLAY and about 100 other kids there that were not part of the birthday party. I don't think anyone even noticed I had a sibling there lol
100% agree. It's a PUBLIC place
I think this would be OK if the kids were a bit older, but in the OP case her children are 6 and 4. She would have to be with the 6-year-old at all times therefore leaving the 4-year-old unattended at the party. I know my 4yo would not be happy if I disappeared, plus I would like to keep my eye on her as well. It’s impossible if they’re bouncing in 2 totally different areas.
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| Posted 2/1/19 10:01 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7273 total posts
Name:
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Is it rude to ask?
Next time someone asks me why I only have one kid I’m going to say “how EVER would I manage the birthday parties!”
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| Posted 2/1/19 10:36 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by ap123
I just decline in situations like that. My view is that if everyone did that the party would be double the size and anything more than 15 at a 4 year olds party sounds like insanity to me! And I understand that kids want to go to parties, but I’d rather tell my child no than put the host on the spot.
As someone who has hosted more parties then I wish to count...this makes me sad because I would much rather have someone reach out and ask then decline the invitation because of this situation.
And I agree with this too. Seeing how excited my daughter gets to have all her friends at her parties- I would do anything and accommodate anyone to make it happen. It's once a year.
Exactly this, I don't care about paying extra for siblings... like at all! I would rather pay for 10 extra siblings, than have them decline and have no one at my kids party. The more the merrier.
I had 2 extra siblings at my kids party this year, only 1 of the parents text me before hand and asked if the sibling could come along (the other offered to pay, which I would never accept). It doesn't put me on the spot. The one mom felt bad and kept apologizing for having to bring her toddler along, I kept assuring her it was perfectly fine. I feel bad that she thought she had to apologize. Seeing these responses is probably the reason why she felt she had to apologize.
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| Posted 2/1/19 10:58 AM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Aries14
I don't really get why people think its rude when its an open play type of place?? My one dd just had a bday party for a friend at skyzone... I brought my older dd and paid for her. they both jumped and did their thing while I walked back and forth checking on them. When it was time for the pizza/cake - my younger one went in the room as all the adults sat outside (there was a ton of kids in a little room) - I bought my older daughter food from the place itself and she sat out with the adults and ate her own food.
It was OPEN PLAY and about 100 other kids there that were not part of the birthday party. I don't think anyone even noticed I had a sibling there lol
100% agree. It's a PUBLIC place
I think this would be OK if the kids were a bit older, but in the OP case her children are 6 and 4. She would have to be with the 6-year-old at all times therefore leaving the 4-year-old unattended at the party. I know my 4yo would not be happy if I disappeared, plus I would like to keep my eye on her as well. It’s impossible if they’re bouncing in 2 totally different areas.
I would just tell my kids they have to stay in same area together.. Not really a huge deal. And that's on me as the mom to deal with that. I have taken my kids at those same exact ages to open play and managed - I don't see the difference here. Is it pain? maybe. But rude to the party host? I don't think so
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| Posted 2/1/19 11:49 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by LuckyStar
Next time someone asks me why I only have one kid I’m going to say “how EVER would I manage the birthday parties!”
Yep! I mean this was basically my main reason for being one and done myself....
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| Posted 2/1/19 12:00 PM |
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NicoleF219
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 232 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by Aries14
I don't really get why people think its rude when its an open play type of place?? My one dd just had a bday party for a friend at skyzone... I brought my older dd and paid for her. they both jumped and did their thing while I walked back and forth checking on them. When it was time for the pizza/cake - my younger one went in the room as all the adults sat outside (there was a ton of kids in a little room) - I bought my older daughter food from the place itself and she sat out with the adults and ate her own food.
It was OPEN PLAY and about 100 other kids there that were not part of the birthday party. I don't think anyone even noticed I had a sibling there lol
Not all the open play places are open to the public when there is a party. I had one for my son and it was private for the time we were there.
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| Posted 2/1/19 12:32 PM |
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olive98
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/12 791 total posts
Name:
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Is it rude to ask?
I have never heard of this being rude except on here. I would never even think to say a sibling couldn't come. Every party I have ever been to has had siblings tag along.
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| Posted 2/1/19 12:49 PM |
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NicoleF219
LIF Infant
Member since 5/12 232 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by olive98
I have never heard of this being rude except on here. I would never even think to say a sibling couldn't come. Every party I have ever been to has had siblings tag along.
I don's know if I would call it rude. The issue I see is that parties are so expensive as it is - if even half of the guests asked to bring siblings it adds up. So while as the one person asking you think it's not rude or only you what if multiple people do that?
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| Posted 2/1/19 1:14 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by NicoleF219
Posted by olive98
I have never heard of this being rude except on here. I would never even think to say a sibling couldn't come. Every party I have ever been to has had siblings tag along.
I don's know if I would call it rude. The issue I see is that parties are so expensive as it is - if even half of the guests asked to bring siblings it adds up. So while as the one person asking you think it's not rude or only you what if multiple people do that?
I also think it's different if it's a family friend (when we invite all siblings anyway) versus a school friend when I wouldn't necessarily know if the child has siblings.
The issue becomes a party that could double in size. Some places max out at 25 kids. DS is having a party on Sunday and we have 25 kids coming, so we can't really accommodate any extras.
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| Posted 2/1/19 2:51 PM |
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PurpleC
Miracles Do Come True
Member since 8/10 2287 total posts
Name:
Caren
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Is it rude to ask?
Nope not rude at all. I have done this a few times and they were parents I didn't even know. I have 3 kids and sometimes my parents who are my only babysitters can't help out. I RSVP with explaining my situation and offering to pay for my other children. The parent can decide if its ok or not. If its an open play area then who cares, other kids will be there playing too. How many parties have we all been too where there has been more than enough pizza to feed the whole party plus some?? The parent usually invites the other siblings to eat and participate in the party. I honestly think that the parent of the party just wants an RSVP and the child is excited to see his/her friends.
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| Posted 2/1/19 3:46 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by NicoleF219
Posted by olive98
I have never heard of this being rude except on here. I would never even think to say a sibling couldn't come. Every party I have ever been to has had siblings tag along.
I don's know if I would call it rude. The issue I see is that parties are so expensive as it is - if even half of the guests asked to bring siblings it adds up. So while as the one person asking you think it's not rude or only you what if multiple people do that?
But she said she would be PAYING for the sibling.
Not asking the host to pay anything else out of pocket.
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| Posted 2/1/19 4:24 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by NicoleF219
Posted by Aries14
I don't really get why people think its rude when its an open play type of place?? My one dd just had a bday party for a friend at skyzone... I brought my older dd and paid for her. they both jumped and did their thing while I walked back and forth checking on them. When it was time for the pizza/cake - my younger one went in the room as all the adults sat outside (there was a ton of kids in a little room) - I bought my older daughter food from the place itself and she sat out with the adults and ate her own food.
It was OPEN PLAY and about 100 other kids there that were not part of the birthday party. I don't think anyone even noticed I had a sibling there lol
Not all the open play places are open to the public when there is a party. I had one for my son and it was private for the time we were there.
The party is at Xplore family fun center in port Jeff. Its a 90 min party! It’s open to the public during parties. Part of the party is open play (with the public) other part is the pizza and cupcakes
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| Posted 2/1/19 6:44 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by NicoleF219
Posted by Aries14
I don't really get why people think its rude when its an open play type of place?? My one dd just had a bday party for a friend at skyzone... I brought my older dd and paid for her. they both jumped and did their thing while I walked back and forth checking on them. When it was time for the pizza/cake - my younger one went in the room as all the adults sat outside (there was a ton of kids in a little room) - I bought my older daughter food from the place itself and she sat out with the adults and ate her own food.
It was OPEN PLAY and about 100 other kids there that were not part of the birthday party. I don't think anyone even noticed I had a sibling there lol
Not all the open play places are open to the public when there is a party. I had one for my son and it was private for the time we were there.
The party is at Xplore family fun center in port Jeff. Its a 90 min party! It’s open to the public during parties. Part of the party is open play (with the public) other part is the pizza and cupcakes
I think it's rude for a parent to ask to include a sibling implying that the host should pay for them, supply goody bags, etc. It's hard to keep costs reasonable and I know I struggle with not inviting everyone I wish I could. However, what the pp is describing is perfectly fine imo. Don't ask, just bring and pay for the sibling. Keep them out of the party room and don't feed them so you don't impose on the hosts that will be busy begging parents to eat all the extra food they bought that no one is touching.
 Bring your kids, have fun, maybe even let them eat a slice of pizza. 
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| Posted 2/1/19 8:10 PM |
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olive98
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/12 791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is it rude to ask?
Message edited 2/1/2019 9:11:51 PM.
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| Posted 2/1/19 9:08 PM |
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