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Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

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Sparrow
LIF Adult

Member since 11/10

6826 total posts

Name:

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I have a girl and a boy and get asked fairly often if we're going to have more. I even have a few women at work who ask me this repeatedly, to which I always answer "we'll see". One of them insists over and over that I stop at two, even after I say we may have one more. Chat Icon

Do you think it's rude to ask this question? I have never asked anyone this. I find it to be a very personal topic and I just can't believe how many people seem to think it's their business if we want more kids.

I'm starting to think I'm the weird one for thinking it's an inappropriate question since so many people feel fine asking it.

Message edited 4/14/2014 3:26:16 PM.

Posted 4/14/14 3:25 PM
 
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Waste06
Waste not, want not

Member since 6/06

7219 total posts

Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Why don't you just ask them why they are so interested in what goes on in your uterus? Maybe that will shut them up!
Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/14/14 3:33 PM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Yes it's rude. As someone who went through IF and it took a year and a half to have dd, I constantly get asked about number 2. Mind your business people....and she's only now 9 months and it's been happening for months! Didn't realize you were so interested in my ovaries and uterus.

Posted 4/14/14 3:38 PM
 

readyfor3
LIF Adolescent

Member since 11/10

751 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I do think it's rude. I think it's up there with the "when are you having kids?" question. I don't believe it's an acceptable question from anyone other than maybe my OB.

Posted 4/14/14 3:39 PM
 

Straightarrow
LIF Adult

Member since 2/11

3534 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I do think it is rude -- I am one and done and people always say to me 'YOU NEVER KNOW'.

Yes, yes I do. I'm doneChat Icon

Posted 4/14/14 3:46 PM
 

babyface10
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/11

804 total posts

Name:

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I get asked this all the time. I have one of each also. The most annoying thing is when people tell you not to have more even after you tell them you plan have another. MYOB people!!!

Posted 4/14/14 3:48 PM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

21539 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Rude

Posted 4/14/14 3:49 PM
 

MaZz
* Lovin my baby girl!!! *

Member since 2/09

6243 total posts

Name:
Gina

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

i dont find it rude... just kind of annoying... and then when i tell them, "uh yea no... im good for now!" they look at me like im crazy!!!! Chat Icon

Message edited 4/14/2014 3:50:00 PM.

Posted 4/14/14 3:49 PM
 

MrsO
Big Brothers to Be

Member since 1/07

4521 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I don't think its rude, but it is an annoying question. We had ds#3 and I can't count the amount of times i have been asked if we are going for the girl (he is only 6 months old). It is just peoples nature and natural curiosity.

i think its rude if it there is a big age gap to ask if having more - because you never know why there is no more.

Posted 4/14/14 3:49 PM
 

IVFmiracle
Complete

Member since 12/12

4088 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I have asked friends and family members this question. Never really thought it was an offensive question. I am very open and honest so I don't mind when people ask.

Posted 4/14/14 3:54 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Depends on who's asking. I didn't mind if people very close to me asked, especially family because it's done respectfully. Strangers? Yes, it's rude. Especially when they don't care what your answer is, and they want to impose their own opinion on you. I was lucky in that I didn't get this too much.

Posted 4/14/14 4:03 PM
 

BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre

Member since 5/05

9320 total posts

Name:
Mrs. B

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I don't know I don't see anything wrong with it.

It's not like they are asking how often you are trying to have more kids.

Posted 4/14/14 4:04 PM
 

ChristinaM128
LIF Adult

Member since 8/12

4043 total posts

Name:
Christina

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

It's so rude. There's always something: are you dating anyone? When are you getting married? When are you having kids? When are you having another?

I just say, "we'll see..."

Posted 4/14/14 4:08 PM
 

Hofstra26
Love to Bake!

Member since 7/06

27915 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I don't get bothered if someone asks me and I honestly don't find it to be a rude question.

I've asked people that question depending on the situation and topic at hand. However, I don't follow up with any kind of response that would be rude or inconsiderate like, "You really should stop at two" OR "Really???? You don't want more kids?"

I don't really view it as an overly personal question. I think most people are just curious and making conversation.




Message edited 4/14/2014 4:11:04 PM.

Posted 4/14/14 4:09 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I don't find it rude when people ask. I think it's rude if they keep pressing the issue or questioning your decision. For example, my family and friends think it's their place to keep pressing me about having a baby and I get the stupid comment of how I need to know what it's like to be pregnant and it's different when it's my "own" baby. Now to me things like that are freaking rude.

To me asking isn't a big deal, it's when they are all up in my uterus and offering rude unsolicited advice that gets me.

Message edited 4/14/2014 4:12:35 PM.

Posted 4/14/14 4:11 PM
 

AngnShaun
Sisters

Member since 1/10

21015 total posts

Name:
Ang

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by Hofstra26

I don't get bothered if someone asks me and I honestly don't find it to be a rude question.

I've asked people that question depending on the situation and topic at hand. However, I don't follow up with any kind of response that would be rude or inconsiderate like, "You really should stop at two" OR "Really???? You don't want more kids?"

I don't really view it as an overly personal question. I think most people are just curious and making conversation.




i agree, it really depends on the context as well as who the person is.

Posted 4/14/14 4:12 PM
 

PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)

Member since 7/08

19084 total posts

Name:
Jib

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I went through so much to get pregnant with my son..... Years of fertility treatments, a surrogate who didn't work out... Really the works. While I was pregnant, a cousin asked if we were gonna have anymore kids. I couldn't believe I was already begin asked and I didn't even have my first baby yet!!!

When I said yes, she told me that I should be prepared to have more miscarriages. Chat Icon Chat Icon I was like.... Thanks nice chattin w ya! Chat Icon

Message edited 4/14/2014 4:12:53 PM.

Posted 4/14/14 4:12 PM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by Hofstra26

I don't get bothered if someone asks me and I honestly don't find it to be a rude question.

I've asked people that question depending on the situation and topic at hand. However, I don't follow up with any kind of response that would be rude or inconsiderate like, "You really should stop at two" OR "Really???? You don't want more kids?"

I don't really view it as an overly personal question. I think most people are just curious and making conversation.







Yes, this exactly. Lol

Posted 4/14/14 4:13 PM
 

Sparrow
LIF Adult

Member since 11/10

6826 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I should clarify, I don't mind if family or close friends ask. It's the 'barely more than acquaintance' co-workers who drive me nuts.

What puts me over the edge is the completely unsolicited advice on what the best number of kids is. Especially from someone in her 60's who has no children. I just don't get the need to ram your opinion down my throat repeatedly.

Ok, vent over. Chat Icon

Posted 4/14/14 4:26 PM
 

alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!

Member since 5/09

18388 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by Hofstra26

I don't get bothered if someone asks me and I honestly don't find it to be a rude question.





I agree.

Posted 4/14/14 4:27 PM
 

BlessedMomma
LIF Adult

Member since 12/11

6163 total posts

Name:
Momma Bear

Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I dont ask this question anymore. I used to before having kids. Along with when do you plan to have kids... Ever since I had a loss and I have friends who had so many issues either trying for #1 or trying for #2 I realize what a personal question it is.

I find it VERY rude when people ask me when I plan #2 and I respond with Im not sure I want #2. They proceed to tell me its selfish... Or I cant do that to my daughter...
OR
the best one i got is but your married. Why wouldnt you have another child?

Message edited 4/14/2014 4:28:37 PM.

Posted 4/14/14 4:27 PM
 

JDubs
different, not less

Member since 7/09

13160 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Posted by MaZz

i dont find it rude... just kind of annoying... and then when i tell them, "uh yea no... im good for now!" they look at me like im crazy!!!! Chat Icon



ITA!

Posted 4/14/14 4:35 PM
 

Melmel821
Love being a mom!

Member since 5/08

2776 total posts

Name:
Melanie

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

Not rude, just annoying.

Posted 4/14/14 4:36 PM
 

SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!

Member since 6/07

4970 total posts

Name:

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

As someone dealing with recurring miscarriages, it breaks my heart when people ask me about having another. I would if I could. Chat Icon

Posted 4/14/14 4:43 PM
 

walkintomymind
LIF Adolescent

Member since 6/10

806 total posts

Name:
Sarah

Re: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you're going to have more kids?

I don't think it is rude. I often ask it while trying to small talk at the playground or playgroups. I usually phrase it, "Would you like to have more?"

It never crossed my mind that it would be considered rude. I've had people who tell me they want 4 more, I've had people tell me they would love more but had trouble conceiving their DC so they think they may be done.

I do however hate when people voice their opinions about how many children you should have. I am pregnant with #2 and people are forever telling me not to go for a 3rd because thats the one that pushes you over the edge! I just shrug it off, but that is kind of annoying.

Posted 4/14/14 4:44 PM
 
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