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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Is my family right?
I agree with most said here
I doubt seriously that she's "Suffering" at 2yrs old
I think if you've said 'enough' to them and they toss in back in your face as being too sensitive then they should have realized NOT to pick on that topic. RUDE!
And just wait.. first case of separation anxiety and it will be "I told you so" and "if you started earlier" blah blah even tho its a VERY NORMAL stage of maturity.
Ugh.. people (Family or not) need to let us raise our own kids our own way!
Remember folks always have advice but never literally LIVE with your child day in and day out.
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Posted 4/8/15 10:01 AM  |
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jmp1105
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/11 553 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
I didn't read all of the responses, but imo I think your DD is lucky to get to be home with at least one of her parents all of the time.
I think mixing in some activities like park, library, gym class is a bonus. She'll have plenty of time to be in school and away from her parents. at that age I don't think going to daycare is necessary for her social development.
I wish me and/or my DH got to be home with our kids!
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| Posted 4/8/15 10:02 AM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
At this age your DC will definitely benefit from some interaction with children but it does not bave to come from pricey daycare when you have a perfectly acceptable, even enviable, free arrangement. Try mommy and me, little gym, library, Y programs etc. all will expose your kid to other kids and get her socialized and it will be good for you and your husband too!
Children that little do not "suffer" from being home with their parents. At 2 they only even start to parallel play with other kids. That said, it's good to get your DC out a little.
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| Posted 4/8/15 10:08 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Is my family right?
Posted by Hofstra26
I'm a SAHM and my DD was pretty much home with me exclusively until she started Kindergarten and she adjusted to school flawlessly, made lots of friends, and is doing great. Her being home with me for five years didn't negatively affect her in any way., I taught her A LOT at home, we did lots of fun things together and as she got a little older I took her to a few dance classes, farm classes, play classes, art classes, and more...........just for fun, not because it was necessary. In all probability, she would've been just fine without them.
Just because your child isn't in daycare or a formal learning setting does NOT mean they won't turn out okay. Nothing wrong with daycare, but it wasn't too long ago that the only place kids were until they started school was home. And we all turned out okay without daycare, structured playdates, and all of these other classes kids are enrolled in today.
Everyone does the best they can with their kids so don't let anyone tell you what you're doing is wrong if it feels right for your family. I didn't send my DD to preschool, people thought I was insane but I felt it was unnecessary. Ultimately, I did what I thought was best for my kid and in the end I made the right choice...........for her. Do what is right for your child and your family and who cares what anyone else has to say about it, everyone is an "expert"..........especially when it's not their kid. 
I'm a FTWM and my kids have been in daycare since 6 months old. But I agree with Hofstra. While my kids are well socialized, I don't think being home w/ me would have been detremental to their development as human beings!
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| Posted 4/8/15 10:13 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Is my family right?
She's got plenty of time to make friends. She's two! Can you enroll her in a dance class or something?
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| Posted 4/8/15 10:38 AM |
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MCD0524
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1199 total posts
Name:
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Is my family right?
Everyone will always give you an opinion but that's what it is...and we all have the right to feel how we want. With that said, my DS is over 3 and has been home with me. I am a WAHM. It has benefited us greatly since I didn't have the money for daycare and my parents and sister were around to help. I did take him to library groups and made freinds with children. We tried to have playdates often. I will say that my son isn't as social as other kids his age, but I am okay with that. He starts preschool in the fall, and I am sure he will be just fine. Do what works best for you, I know many people that have to work outside the home that wish they could have what you do. I think the grass is always greener and people usually will defend what they had to do. My second DS was just born and he will be going to school a lot earlier because we can send him now and its what works best for us. I don't think one is better then the other, just different. Maybe look into some local socialization groups, library groups are often free and many places have free play.
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| Posted 4/8/15 10:46 AM |
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rugratmama
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/12 432 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
You are doing what's best for DD and your family. You are not hurting her AT ALL. Now that she is older....maybe look into a preschool next year or even just Iibrary classes....just to mix up her day a little.
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| Posted 4/8/15 11:10 AM |
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MK2010
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/10 401 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
Posted by NervousNell
You can't win because I have heard the opposite of what people are telling you. Some people would tell me that they would NEVER put their child in daycare and how could we do that to her??
Bottom line. ..people are opinionated aholes. You do what works for you and tell them to go scratch.
next time they bring it up tell them you will gladly put her in daycare if they will foot the bill.
ITA
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| Posted 4/8/15 11:10 AM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
Imo, I really mean my personal beliefs and what I do with my kid, I think after 2 maybe 2 1/2 it is beneficial to do some social activities with your kids. There are a lot of programs for 2 year olds that are just 2 hours twice a week etc. I think it helps them learn to share, follow instructions, etc. Do I think you're doing a disservice? Lol, no. But honestly imo I see a social difference in kids that do programs, even mommy and me, library programs, etc., just stuff with other kids. I'm sure that all evens out in the end anyway when everyone ends up in K.
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| Posted 4/8/15 11:27 AM |
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Re: Is my family right?
Posted by Hofstra26
I'm a SAHM and my DD was pretty much home with me exclusively until she started Kindergarten and she adjusted to school flawlessly, made lots of friends, and is doing great. Her being home with me for five years didn't negatively affect her in any way., I taught her A LOT at home, we did lots of fun things together and as she got a little older I took her to a few dance classes, farm classes, play classes, art classes, and more...........just for fun, not because it was necessary. In all probability, she would've been just fine without them.
Just because your child isn't in daycare or a formal learning setting does NOT mean they won't turn out okay. Nothing wrong with daycare, but it wasn't too long ago that the only place kids were until they started school was home. And we all turned out okay without daycare, structured playdates, and all of these other classes kids are enrolled in today.
Everyone does the best they can with their kids so don't let anyone tell you what you're doing is wrong if it feels right for your family. I didn't send my DD to preschool, people thought I was insane but I felt it was unnecessary. Ultimately, I did what I thought was best for my kid and in the end I made the right choice...........for her. Do what is right for your child and your family and who cares what anyone else has to say about it, everyone is an "expert"..........especially when it's not their kid.
This. My DD is almost three. I won't send her to school until at least 4, but even that I am questioning and worried about. I would like to keep her home with me until 5 if I could. She sees mostly me 24/7. Or DH. A lot of weekends she will see grandparents. She is rarely around other people (except for holidays) or kids her own age. Since she has been 1.5 though I do a playdate 1x a week with a boy around her age. But they don't see each other every week. Probably averages to 1x every other week, only for 1-2 hours. When we go to the library she hangs around the other kids that are there. When she was 1.5 she went to swim classes/mommy and me style but that was only 6 classes. She also did gymnastics this year for a few months (probably like 15 classes overall). I'm not worried about it. She is great with people. I know she would LIKE it, but I don't think it is necessary. Don't stress.
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| Posted 4/8/15 11:45 AM |
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Millie3
LIF Adult
Member since 7/13 1280 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
I think it's great your child can be cared for by you and your DH. In September you can have her go to nursery school a few hours a week, or not. Seems like you have a great arrangement now, don't let anyone make you second guess yourself.
I SAH and sent my 2 yo to school so I could have a couple hours for errands/ cleaning. He could have waited another year and been fine
Message edited 4/8/2015 11:52:08 AM.
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| Posted 4/8/15 11:50 AM |
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Is my family right?
Your child is still young and your first. You will come to realize as your baby gets older that you won't give a shit who thinks or says what.
Do what you find best :)
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| Posted 4/8/15 11:55 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
Do what is right for you and your family. My sister has 3 kids and they have been home with a nanny up until pre-k and they are not delayed with their development or socially in any way.
With my DS we had some help from family so he was not in daycare (when he was 2 we moved him to a school). My MIL used to tell me my DS' speech problems were because of the fact that he was not in daycare  I just learned to ignore her.
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| Posted 4/8/15 12:28 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
Be confident in your choices.
There is no one right way to raise a child. Tune out the dissenters.
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| Posted 4/8/15 12:43 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
Of course do what you feel is right.
You are asking for advise so my advise would be to do a library playgroup in the am with your husband, or some sort of class with you after you are home from work. Once or twice a week. I feel that would be enough to socialize with other children and learn to share, read social cues from other kids, interact, etc.
At 2.5-3, you could enroll into a separation program twice a week. They are usually in the morning or early afternoon for 2-2.5 hours. Some kids need that prep before preschool and some don't. My older kids loved it and I'm sure I'll put my 2yo in something when she's old enough.
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| Posted 4/8/15 12:48 PM |
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cynn81
LIF Infant
Member since 6/10 175 total posts
Name:
Cynn
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Re: Is my family right?
Posted by NervousNell
Here is the thing. What everyone else on this thread does or did in regards to staying home with their children, full time daycare, part time library classes, nursery schools etc is not the point.
I am sure we can have a debate on the benefits of daycare vs the benefits of children being home with their parents all day long and it won't change YOUR situation.
The point is, it is YOUR decision and you have to do what is best for you.
And as far as feeling like a failure- please don't. You are not a failure for raising your child as you see fit and in a manner that works for you!
Your family needs to mind their own business. If they don't, you need to tell them that you are no longer discussing this matter.
If they continue ignore them.
Just stare into space and don't respond.
Or change the subject.
They will eventually get bored and move on.
As a parent you have to learn quickly to be confident in your decisions. Confident and strong.
Whether it be the decision NOT to breastfeed, the decision to go back to work or stay home, the decision on vaccines, etc.
You need to be confident that only YOU know what is best for your child and family. And when you have that confidence, nobody can bother you or make you feel like a failure anymore.
I agree with the above, this is exactly how I feel.
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| Posted 4/8/15 1:52 PM |
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RayRay13
LIF Infant
Member since 7/14 155 total posts
Name:
RayRay
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Re: Is my family right?
I have been looking for a program that is for 1/2 a day 2-3 days a week, but I'm having trouble finding it. Are you in the Merrick-Bellmore area, by any chance?
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| Posted 4/8/15 2:05 PM |
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RayRay13
LIF Infant
Member since 7/14 155 total posts
Name:
RayRay
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Re: Is my family right?
I think it's wonderful that you are able to do so much with your child. My husband takes her outside to play when it's nice out, but he doesn't take her anywhere to socialize and that's my concern.
Is your meet up group for mommies only or daddies too?
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| Posted 4/8/15 2:11 PM |
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RayRay13
LIF Infant
Member since 7/14 155 total posts
Name:
RayRay
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Re: Is my family right?
Posted by NervousNell
Here is the thing. What everyone else on this thread does or did in regards to staying home with their children, full time daycare, part time library classes, nursery schools etc is not the point.
I am sure we can have a debate on the benefits of daycare vs the benefits of children being home with their parents all day long and it won't change YOUR situation.
The point is, it is YOUR decision and you have to do what is best for you.
And as far as feeling like a failure- please don't. You are not a failure for raising your child as you see fit and in a manner that works for you!
Your family needs to mind their own business. If they don't, you need to tell them that you are no longer discussing this matter.
If they continue ignore them.
Just stare into space and don't respond.
Or change the subject.
They will eventually get bored and move on.
As a parent you have to learn quickly to be confident in your decisions. Confident and strong.
Whether it be the decision NOT to breastfeed, the decision to go back to work or stay home, the decision on vaccines, etc.
You need to be confident that only YOU know what is best for your child and family. And when you have that confidence, nobody can bother you or make you feel like a failure anymore.
I need you on speed dial! Thank you for saying. Being "new" to this, my confidence does suffer when I have to hear the same thing over and over.
Thanks everyone for your responses....you're all wonderful!
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| Posted 4/8/15 2:16 PM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Is my family right?
First of all, you are not a failure. You do what you feel is right for your child. And it's not just with this. With everything. You have to be confident in your decision. No matter what your family or anyone says. I learned that eventually. I used to let a lot of things my family or in laws say, bother me or make me question me being a "good"mom. Over time I learned to be more confident in my decisions and now can say whatever I do for my child/ren is what's best for them.
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| Posted 4/8/15 2:25 PM |
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RayRay13
LIF Infant
Member since 7/14 155 total posts
Name:
RayRay
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Is my family right?
I just read all of your responses...and took notes!!! Haha. Thank you for the confidence boost. My DD is super social and doing wonderfully. We do take her out to interact with other kids, but not on a regular basis. The latest family member quote was just this morning, "why don't you take that poor baby out to play with other kids. otherwise she's just stuck at home staring at your husband." Grrreeeaaatttt. Mind you, my husband gets down and plays with her and it totally interactive. Sigh...It takes a thick skin....
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| Posted 4/8/15 2:26 PM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Is my family right?
I'd say trust me she is not a poor baby. she is very content and happy playing with her daddy.
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| Posted 4/8/15 2:40 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Is my family right?
Posted by iluvmynutty
There is no way your DD is suffering. Children don't even develop cooperative play skills until 3years. If you wanted to get her out of the house, around other kids, take her to the free library programs, take her to the kids section of Barnes and nobel or sign her up for some classes. We did my gym and music together. I would immediately halt this conversation when it comes up with relatives, walk out of the room if you need to.
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| Posted 4/8/15 2:55 PM |
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Seawolf
LIF Adult
Member since 3/14 1336 total posts
Name:
Scrumba
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Re: Is my family right?
A 2 year old doesn't NEED a budding social life. I wasn't around other kids my age until kindergarten and I turned out fine. Ignore them.
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| Posted 4/8/15 3:01 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is my family right?
Posted by Seawolf
A 2 year old doesn't NEED a budding social life. I wasn't around other kids my age until kindergarten and I turned out fine. Ignore them.
This. I'm not a parent, but I was an only child who wasn't around kids regularly till nursery/kindergarten. There were not really any kids around my age in my family either. Of course every so often we'd see my moms friends with kids, but for the most part I was with adults and turned out just fine! Made friends in school and still have a lot of friends as an adult. Again, not a parent, but I'd tell people to MYOB! I'm sure your kid is doing fine!
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| Posted 4/8/15 4:21 PM |
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