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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
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is this typical behavior?
DS is 8 and he seems obsessed with guns and weapons. He's always been that way and it's only since last October that we've allowed him to have a Nerf gun. Before that, he turned everything into a play gun - sticks, paper towel rolls, etc.
I know a lot of boys feel the same way, and I remind him all the time that if he sees a real one he needs to leave immediately and tell his parents (we don't have one in our houses but just in case he's at a friend's house).
Lately, though, things seem a little different. STBX and I separated back in July and STBX has been bringing his gf around DS a lot, but I'm not sure if that's what's going on. DS keeps saying he wants to eat me and I remind him that we don't put our teeth on anyone, but he'll say it when we're in the car, too. He also recently got in trouble for bullying a girl in his class (him and his friends were making fun of a girl that peed her pants a while back). And there are other cases where it seems like he's not showing empathy.
He's normally a really sweet kid, and I get that boys can sometimes be aggressive. I just wanted to make sure that the empathy thing is age appropriate and that the constant gun obsession is normal. He does play video games, but they're all Mario games and Splatoon (the targets are balloons, not typically other users).
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Posted 4/3/18 7:19 AM  |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
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is this typical behavior?
I don't know if it's normal or not but my 7yo DS is also obsessed with guns. He has Tourette's so I am constantly wondering if his obsession with guns is normal, or if it's something mentally that needs to be addressed with a therapist. I am going to bring it up to his neurologist at his next appointment. He too will turn everything into a gun. He will point it at people and I have to constantly remind him that we don't point guns at people. He 100% knows that he is not supposed to do point his fake guns at people and that we don't play with guns. He does it and I look at him and he immediately says he's sorry and does something else. It's hard to tell what is normal behavior these days. I remember being young and my brother and I would play with fake guns and point them at each other and no one batted an eye. I also used to not allow gun toys in my house until someone bought DS a nerf gun a couple of years ago and it all went downhill from there.
Message edited 4/3/2018 8:50:37 AM.
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| Posted 4/3/18 8:50 AM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: is this typical behavior?
The gun thing is typical- At 8 my ds did the same thing. But IMHO the fact that at 8 he is saying that he wants to eat you, that is not typical. I would mention it to your doctor and maybe ask for a referral for a psychologist.
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| Posted 4/3/18 10:00 AM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: is this typical behavior?
Posted by Jacksmommy
The gun thing is typical- At 8 my ds did the same thing. But IMHO the fact that at 8 he is saying that he wants to eat you, that is not typical. I would mention it to your doctor and maybe ask for a referral for a psychologist.
Is he into games with zombies or shows? What is making him say I want to eat you? The first thing that came to mind is Walking Dead.
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| Posted 4/3/18 11:46 AM |
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Re: is this typical behavior?
Yes it is typical.
Why do you think it is your STBX's gf? Is she an avid hunter? Why would it be her influence?
Anyway, I am very very very anti gun. I will only allow in my house guns that are nerf guns as they are not realistic looking. However, this does not stop my son from being the first one to grab toy guns at friends houses
But yes, it is typical. My son will be 11 this month and he is finally aging out it. Except Fortnight, lol
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| Posted 4/3/18 12:13 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
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Re: is this typical behavior?
Posted by Straightarrow
Yes it is typical.
Why do you think it is your STBX's gf? Is she an avid hunter? Why would it be her influence?
I don't think it's her, per se, just that DS is going thru a lot of changes lately that's not typical of his life. But she does seem to parent differently than STBX & I used to - she Tweeted an article recently about allowing kids to curse as much as they want and STBX told me that her 15 yo son is a seriously troubled kid (even though STBX said that kid has never been around DS).
The wanting to eat me thing is weird. He doesn't watch anything violent other than cartoons (Teen Titans, etc) and plays Minecraft (has Zombies).
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| Posted 4/3/18 12:25 PM |
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Re: is this typical behavior?
Posted by Funkybutt
Posted by Straightarrow
Yes it is typical.
Why do you think it is your STBX's gf? Is she an avid hunter? Why would it be her influence?
I don't think it's her, per se, just that DS is going thru a lot of changes lately that's not typical of his life. But she does seem to parent differently than STBX & I used to - she Tweeted an article recently about allowing kids to curse as much as they want and STBX told me that her 15 yo son is a seriously troubled kid (even though STBX said that kid has never been around DS).
The wanting to eat me thing is weird. He doesn't watch anything violent other than cartoons (Teen Titans, etc) and plays Minecraft (has Zombies).
I mean, I think it is probably a zombie thing or something he thinks is funny.
As to the seriously disturbed kid, my SO's son is. Like big time. So IMO, I would have some empathy yourself towards that. Even my ex does. But honestly, most kids can pick up on what is 'normal' v. what is considered 'disturbed'. My son's friends do.
Do you follow her on social media?
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| Posted 4/3/18 12:43 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: is this typical behavior?
Posted by Straightarrow
I mean, I think it is probably a zombie thing or something he thinks is funny.
As to the seriously disturbed kid, my SO's son is. Like big time. So IMO, I would have some empathy yourself towards that. Even my ex does. But honestly, most kids can pick up on what is 'normal' v. what is considered 'disturbed'. My son's friends do.
Do you follow her on social media?
I do have empathy toward what she's dealing with - I just want to make sure that something isn't negatively affecting DS (whether it's STBX's relationship, he's watching too much YouTube Kids, or that it's all normal behavior).
I recently blocked both STBX and his gf on all social media b/c I didn't want to get sucked into their drama.
I asked STBX if DS says the same to him (about wanting to eat him) and he said no, but that DS has been saying weird stuff he hears off YouTube Kids. I hear some of that stuff, too, but the constantly saying he wants to eat me, when I've told him to stop, is unusual.
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| Posted 4/3/18 12:55 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
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Re: is this typical behavior?
I asked STBX if DS says the same to him (about wanting to eat him) and he said no, but that DS has been saying weird stuff he hears off YouTube Kids. I hear some of that stuff, too, but the constantly saying he wants to eat me, when I've told him to stop, is unusual.
I think he knows it bothers you now since you are constantly asking him to stop so he’s trying to get a rise out of you. Try ignoring him when he says it. I bet he stops.
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| Posted 4/4/18 8:08 AM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
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Mommy
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Re: is this typical behavior?
The eating thing and bullying the girl are what were most salient to me. I think you make a good point that your DS has undergone quite a bit of change recently. Change can be difficult for kids even if it isn't readily apparent. People constantly comment that their kids were great with some huge change but sometimes I think it's more denial - if it's a big change in your life, it's likely a big and confusing/unsettling change for you child. Take you child to a psychologist - give him a chance to have someone to talk to about what has been going on. At the very least he'll be able to process some of his feelings about what's been going on; seeing a psychologist doesn't always mean you get a diagnosis. FWIW, I think it's great that you are in tune with your child and have picked up on these signs.
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| Posted 4/4/18 10:00 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
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Re: is this typical behavior?
It’s hard to say from just your post and without a better sense of how it is coming across. If you are concerned (and I gather you are), I would seek consultation with a child psychologist to be safe.
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| Posted 4/4/18 9:07 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
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Re: is this typical behavior?
Posted by lululu
I asked STBX if DS says the same to him (about wanting to eat him) and he said no, but that DS has been saying weird stuff he hears off YouTube Kids. I hear some of that stuff, too, but the constantly saying he wants to eat me, when I've told him to stop, is unusual.
I think he knows it bothers you now since you are constantly asking him to stop so he’s trying to get a rise out of you. Try ignoring him when he says it. I bet he stops.
I was also thinking this. It seems he knows he gets a reaction from you, and the best way would be to ignore and see if he stops. However, as a PP mentioned, you can take him to a psychologist for you peace of mind. You don't have anything to lose by doing so.
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| Posted 4/4/18 9:29 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: is this typical behavior?
Gun thing is 100% normal (I’ve asked child therapists because my 7 yo DS is having an ill timed obsession with all the shootings) and in your case, if new, may be tied to him regaining control... at least figuratively. Gun obsession is totally normal and I’ve been told is typical in preschool.
Eating... I always think of parents who bite their babies and say they want to eat them up. Could your son have seen this and be doing the biting out of affection?
Empathy: this is tough. Kids are so mean at this age. I’d keep watch (ask teacher), but have seen some pretty mean stuff when watching playgrounds. It’s like a little fight club!
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| Posted 4/4/18 9:39 PM |
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