IVF moms, I have a vent

Let me preface this by saying that I'm really not a sensitive person. I ignore things people say and move on.

I reaalize that IVF is not for everyone. I understand that there are people who choose not to pursue IF treatment for what ever reason. There is, however, a way to say things appropriately.

I was just on the phone with a friend. She and her DH are trying to conceive their 2nd child. They've been trying for some time now and are not having success. She shared that her cycle is very irregular and has been for her entire life. She went into great detail about the irregularity and how difficult it is to pinpoint ovulation as a result.

*She knows that DD is the result of IVF. I'm currently pregnant via IVF again (she doesn't know that I'm currently pregnant).*

I asked if she's ever had doctors look into her irregularity because understanding what's going on is a big piece to their difficulty conceiving. Her response was: "No, because I wouldn't do anything unnatural to have a baby."

I know I'm being sensitive. It's probably the hormones (I cry over nothing nowadays). I'm just so offended by her choice of words. I wouldn't have been upset if she'd said that they wouldn't pursue IF treatment. It was the use of the word, "unnatural" that I found so offensive.

That's all. I just needed to vent since it just happened and I completely ignored the comment.

Re: IVF moms, I have a vent

Hugs

People have no idea how much words can sting sometimes. I did multiple IUI, IVF and FET cycles to conceive my 3 children and am currently surprisingly pregnant without any interventions. I have been asked if my current pregnancy was "natural?" People are weird! I tell them no, it's supernatural and probably is actually a ghost and not a baby

Re: IVF moms, I have a vent

Wow. That was really insensitive and ignorant. Give her a few more months and maybe she'll change her tune! Of course I wouldn't wish that on anyone but some people are so clueless!!

Re: IVF moms, I have a vent

I too would be hurt by the comment as well. People just do not think before they speak.

IVF moms, I have a vent

Insensitive! I am sorry!

Re: IVF moms, I have a vent

people just don't get it. A gf of mine told me she'd be childless if she had to go through what I've been going through. Insensitivity stings.
But us IF girls are pretty damn tough !!

IVF moms, I have a vent

IMO she was just telling you she wouldn't do it. It has nothing to do with if others would chops it.

I too went through fertility treatments and would think nothing of the comment.

IVF moms, I have a vent

Opinions are like a$$holes everyone has one. The whole "unnatural" part is a bit rude to say but let her have her opinion and thats it.

IVF moms, I have a vent

Sorry that was a bit rude

IVF moms, I have a vent

I think that was pretty rude of her, but she probably didn't mean anything directed at you personally. She probably is feeling a bit frustrated (you know how that can be!) and didn't say her feelings about seeing a fertility doctor in the most sensitive way possible.

I also think that people have a misunderstanding about fertility doctors and treatments. I know I did before I went to see one. There are many reasons for women not getting pregnant and IVF is not the only answer. My aunt had a large cyst in her uterus that was preventing her from getting pregnant. Once she had surgery to remove it, she had two beautiful girls. Maybe reach out to her again in a few months and suggest she at least see a doctor and maybe they could run a few tests. Nothing wrong with at least finding out the reason (if there is a specific reason). Then she can decide if she wants to persue treatments or keep trying "naturally". There are plenty of "natural" treatments that she can try, depending on her situation, but she won't know if she doesn't start asking some questions.

Congrats to you!

IVF moms, I have a vent

rude, and also uninformed. not exactly sure what is so unnatural abt IVF at the bottom line of it as we still are using natural eggs and natural sperm, natural uterus etc. only "unnatural" part is as with any medical issue it also requires meds to get better / help manage
this is exactly why infertility shld start coming out of the closet and more dialogue shld happen so ppl can make educated decisions/statements

that being said, I am sure she is just frustrated and said something that was not directed at u but out of hurt place and as I said not totally informed one.