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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Jewish Ladies....
So some suggestions please. Now that I have a child, I definitely want to make a stronger Jewish home. We will be having a Kosher home (once I get around to buying a 2nd set of dishes) and getting Jordana to temple on Shabbat. She is only 6 months old, but I do need to start soon.
I would love some suggestions of things you liked and things you didn't like in your parents' homes or what you intend to do in your home. My DH was raised in Jerusalem, so he is no help in this department.
What holidays did you celebrate at home and how did you celebrate? Anything else?
TIA!
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Posted 11/3/06 11:05 AM  |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by Shellyesq
So some suggestions please. Now that I have a child, I definitely want to make a stronger Jewish home. We will be having a Kosher home (once I get around to buying a 2nd set of dishes) and getting Jordana to temple on Shabbat. She is only 6 months old, but I do need to start soon.
I would love some suggestions of things you liked and things you didn't like in your parents' homes or what you intend to do in your home. My DH was raised in Jerusalem, so he is no help in this department.
What holidays did you celebrate at home and how did you celebrate? Anything else?
TIA!
Well, for us, it's more important to raise Alex jewish in a cultural sense rather than a religious sense, because we are both atheists, though with extremely strong ties to our culture and heritage. What I admired most about how my parents raised my brothers and I is that they are both atheist, but until I was 13, I was sent to hebrew school once a week and went to services once a week. After I had my bat mitsvah, my parents sat me down and told me they had me involved in the synogogue because they wanted me to learn about my religion and culture, but because they don't believe in the religious aspect of it all, after I turned 13 it was MY choice. I ended up becoming atheist after all, but I truly admire the fact that they gave me the opportunity to learn and make my own decision.
Also, as for the cultural practices - as a family, growing up we had friday night shabbat dinner EVERY friday. My brothers and I were not allowed to make plans or have sleepovers. I was resistant at times, but looking back, it was a powerful tradition, and I plan on continuing it with Alex, my brother and my father when he moves to Philadelphia. During every religious holiday, my mother would make a traditional jewish meal and invite over family. Those are definitely some of my favorite memories. Hmmm... that's all I can think of for now...
Ahhh yes, one more thing - we enrolled Alex in a daycare program at a local synogogue. Not so much for the religious teachings, but because they have an excellent hebrew immersion program and so that she can start to get a sense of what her culture is all about. Ideally, when she's older and in public school, we'll continue to send her there as part of the hebrew school, maybe once a week.
It may also help to join your local JCC or federation. DH and I did this about a year ago, and there's a special group for young jewish families. It helps keep us connected with other jewish families, and as well, they put on some interesting programs.
Message edited 11/3/2006 11:18:47 AM.
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:16 AM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
thats great of you ladies.
I can google it but i rather hear your explanation.
Whate exactly is a "kosher home"?
Sorry for my ignorance
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:17 AM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
I grew up in a semi-Kosher home. Meaning, separate pots and dishes, but everything went in the dishwasher together, and we brought in non-kosher food and ate it on paper plates.
This worked for me as a kid. Currently, DH and I have a similar home, except we have separate sponges, sink trays, and only put meat items in the dishwasher. There are so many different levels of Kashrut and everyone has to do what works for their family.
It's hard for me to think of specific things that my family did on a daily basis in terms of Judaism. When I was younger, we went to synagogue mainly on the high holidays, but as I got older, and my parents were more involved in the synagogue, we went most Friday nights. Honestly, I grew up in my family's synagogue, and that is still really important to me. I still feel such a sense of community when I go there, because everyone knows me and my family.
We had a mezzuzah on the front door when I was a child. Now in our apt., we have them on all the doorways. I love judaica and I feel that displaying my menorahs and candlesticks makes my home feel more Jewish.
My family was not shomer shabbat, nor are we now. On Yom Kippur, we follow all the laws, such as not using electricity. I always found that that level of observance made the day more holy for me.
Also regarding Kashrut, we kept Passover strictly, including different dishes and pots. It's such a pain, but for me, it makes the week that much more significant.
I'm not sure if any of this is exactly what you're looking for, b/c a lot of it has to do with level of observance. I think some of the most important things I will do when I have children is take them to synagogue regularly, and when they are older, hebrew school, and encourage them to get involved in Jewish Youth groups, like USY, b/c that's what really instilled my Jewish identity in me.
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:19 AM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by Jessica
thats great of you ladies.
I can google it but i rather hear your explanation.
Whate exactly is a "kosher home"?
Sorry for my ignorance
Kosher homes have separate dishes, pots, silverware, etc. for meat and dairy. We do not eat meat and dairy together.
We don't eat shellfish and don't eat pork.
Depending on the level of Kosher that one keeps, you may buy only Kosher meat from a Kosher butcher, which is what we do.
Those are the basics. There are a lot of rules about what animals are kosher and which aren't and how an animal must be slaughtered to be considered Kosher.
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:21 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by Jax430
I'm not sure if any of this is exactly what you're looking for, b/c a lot of it has to do with level of observance.
This is exactly what I am looking for. Thanks! We are not very religious but traditional. MY DH is Israeli and so afraid that I will become religious. He doesn't uinderstand that you can observe some things (like Kashrut) without others (like being shomer shabbat).
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:22 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by Shellyesq
Posted by Jax430
I'm not sure if any of this is exactly what you're looking for, b/c a lot of it has to do with level of observance.
This is exactly what I am looking for. Thanks! We are not very religious but traditional. MY DH is Israeli and so afraid that I will become religious. He doesn't uinderstand that you can observe some things (like Kashrut) without others (like being shomer shabbat).
I have the same dilemna with Dh because he is Israeli as well. He's so afraid that we will become "religious", when I keep trying to tell him that observance in the US is totally different as compared to Israel. I think he's slooooooooowly getting it.
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:24 AM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by Jax430
Posted by Jessica
thats great of you ladies.
I can google it but i rather hear your explanation.
Whate exactly is a "kosher home"?
Sorry for my ignorance
Kosher homes have separate dishes, pots, silverware, etc. for meat and dairy. We do not eat meat and dairy together.
We don't eat shellfish and don't eat pork.
Depending on the level of Kosher that one keeps, you may buy only Kosher meat from a Kosher butcher, which is what we do.
Those are the basics. There are a lot of rules about what animals are kosher and which aren't and how an animal must be slaughtered to be considered Kosher.
thank you.
Very interesting
I LOVE learning about religions. If i could go back to school id major in religions.
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:24 AM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by Shellyesq
Posted by Jax430
I'm not sure if any of this is exactly what you're looking for, b/c a lot of it has to do with level of observance.
This is exactly what I am looking for. Thanks! We are not very religious but traditional. MY DH is Israeli and so afraid that I will become religious. He doesn't uinderstand that you can observe some things (like Kashrut) without others (like being shomer shabbat).
I truly believe that for every Jew, there is a different way of observing. We pick and choose what works for us.
Brad has never eaten non-Kosher meat. I used to eat pork and shellfish as a kid, but then gave it up in HS. I eat nonKosher meat and sometimes combine meat and dairy outside of the house. To each his or her own. I think the most important thing is making sure to so some things to make sure our children know that they are Jewish and instilling a sense of pride in them about their culture and religion.
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:34 AM |
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Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
We do not have a kosher home because I grew up with a religious parent and a parent that could care less. I went to sunday school and was confirmed. Currently we only go to temple on the high holy days.
Before you put your kid through never tasting shellfish or a cheeseburger I would like to share two short yet true stories...from different times and places.
1) My dad was raised in a strict Jewish/Kosher home. When he was in his teens he started to be a rebel and sneak out on friday nights to get a pepperoni and sausage pizza. He ate a pepperoni ans sausage pizza every friday till the day he died.
2) My friend Adar was also raised in a strict Jewish/Kosher home. By her teens she was smoking out the window. In college I convinced her to try a nacho dip with meat and cheese. She never went back and now loves shrimp and cheeseburgers.
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| Posted 11/3/06 12:05 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
DH and I met on JDate so it was clear from the beginning that our religion was important to us. Once we decided that we were going to get married we had the conversation as to how "Jewish" we would be realistically. We both agree that as we got older and had kids, it would become more prominent in our household. That being said, right now, we try not to bring shellfish and pork into our home. We do have shabbat candlesticks and a challah plate but have yet to use them as on Friday nights we are too tired to cook. We do not have an affiliation with a synagogue yet, but we will more than likely go with an egalitarian Conservative shul as that is how we were raised. We will not become members of aparticular temple until we have children. Unfortunately, temple memberships can be costly. Although a person can pray without paying, I would also like to use our future temple membership as a way to make our community smaller and thus benefit from entitlements of membership of which there are many. I am really looking forward to this!
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| Posted 11/3/06 12:18 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by Goldi0218
DH and I met on JDate so it was clear from the beginning that our religion was important to us. Once we decided that we were going to get married we had the conversation as to how "Jewish" we would be realistically. We both agree that as we got older and had kids, it would become more prominent in our household. That being said, right now, we try not to bring shellfish and pork into our home. We do have shabbat candlesticks and a challah plate but have yet to use them as on Friday nights we are too tired to cook. We do not have an affiliation with a synagogue yet, but we will more than likely go with an egalitarian Conservative shul as that is how we were raised. We will not become members of aparticular temple until we have children. Unfortunately, temple memberships can be costly. Although a person can pray without paying, I would also like to use our future temple membership as a way to make our community smaller and thus benefit from entitlements of membership of which there are many. I am really looking forward to this!
Leslie - this is us to a "T" (even down to the meeting on JDate)
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| Posted 11/3/06 12:31 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by EmilyAKAMrsK
We do not have a kosher home because I grew up with a religious parent and a parent that could care less. I went to sunday school and was confirmed. Currently we only go to temple on the high holy days.
Before you put your kid through never tasting shellfish or a cheeseburger I would like to share two short yet true stories...from different times and places.
1) My dad was raised in a strict Jewish/Kosher home. When he was in his teens he started to be a rebel and sneak out on friday nights to get a pepperoni and sausage pizza. He ate a pepperoni ans sausage pizza every friday till the day he died.
2) My friend Adar was also raised in a strict Jewish/Kosher home. By her teens she was smoking out the window. In college I convinced her to try a nacho dip with meat and cheese. She never went back and now loves shrimp and cheeseburgers.
I definitely hear what you're saying, but it definitely varies from person to person. My DH never had a cheeseburger, pork, shellfish, etc. growing up, and still maintains that practice as an adult. Many of my friends maintained their family's level of Kashrut growing up. Others, myself included, became more observant and gave up things that we used to eat.
I still think that if it's the parents' belief, it is worth it to try to instill these practices in their children, rather than just assuming that they will rebel and not trying at all. We can't control the choices of our children as they grow older, but we can try to instill our beliefs when they are young.
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| Posted 11/3/06 12:41 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Posted by Jax430
I still think that if it's the parents' belief, it is worth it to try to instill these practices in their children, rather than just assuming that they will rebel and not trying at all. We can't control the choices of our children as they grow older, but we can try to instill our beliefs when they are young.
I agree Jax. It really CAN go either way. I mean some people thought I was a religious nut for wanting a Havdalah candle. I am by no means religious but certainly more so than my parents.
I also think a child is too young to make such a huge choice in regard to religion and how they will practice. It can be that parents are UBER-observant and a child will either maintain that level of observance as an adult OR choose a different level OR perhaps change religions altogether. I do think that the child deserves the opportunity to be exposed to and learn the religious backgrounds of their parents so they can make an informed decision as an adult.
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| Posted 11/3/06 1:57 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Both my parents were raised in kosher homes in Brooklyn. When they came to the Island there was definitely a decrease in the amount of places to buy kosher foods and it was much more expensive. They tried to keep up but eventually we became a non kosher home (before I was born). They sent me and my brother to a conservative temple which in the end I definitely realized, if anything I would definitely fit into the reform category. I enjoy the flexibility much more. The services for my wedding were MUCH different then my brothers but that is what I wanted. I think when raising a child it is important to seek all options and try to instill some of your beliefs but have a healthy balance. DH and I will be having our first and this is what we plan to do.
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| Posted 11/3/06 2:47 PM |
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pugmama
April already?
Member since 3/06 5297 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
I was raised in a very reform household and up until I was 13 or so we went to synogogue every Friday night. I went to hebrew and sunday school and decided after my bat mitzvah I did not want to continue on to get confirmed. I was involved in several jewish organizations and went to a religious summer camp. Holidays were very important to my family.
DH was raised in a conservative household and also went to temple every friday night and had shabbat dinner. He was also involved in many organizations.
Now we still celebrate the holidays with our families but do not belong to a temple. We looked into it but coudnt afford the dues right now...we plan on looking again when dd is a little older.
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| Posted 11/3/06 4:36 PM |
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LiPo
:(
Member since 9/06 1864 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
I am the more religious of the 2 of us but we both attended Conservative Temples as children. He didn't fast on Yom Kippur until I came on the scene.  We both plan on joining a temple when we have kids but we will not keep a Kosher home.
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| Posted 11/3/06 5:58 PM |
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HillandRon
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2922 total posts
Name:
Hillary
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
For myself and my husband we were both raised in Conservative Jewish homes. We did not keep kosher but we celebrated all the major holidays. My husband went to services every Saturday morning when he was a kid. I went to Hebrew school and high school, and had a bt mitzvah.
We have decided to do the same with our family ( not sure about the services every Saturday, though)...
Now that we have Jacob, it was very important to me that he goes to a Jewish based toddler program at a synagogue or at a Y in my area.. to learn the Jewish traditions. We just decided to send him to the conservative synagogue around the block from my house, however we will not become members until he needs to go to Hebrew School.. We are however invited to go to Tot Shabbat ( once a month) and are given ticket sto the High Holydays for joinging the Nursery School.
Hope this helps..
I know there ar plenty of organizations in the city for you to look into.. What about the Y on the Upper West side or even the 92nd Street Y??
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| Posted 11/3/06 6:59 PM |
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octoberbride
Big sister to be!
Member since 11/05 2174 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
Both my Dh and I were raised in reform Jewish households. We both went to hebrew school and were bar/bat mitzvah'd. My DH was confirmed as well. But both of us are pretty much not religious at all at this point...had a jewish wedding but we don't go to temple at ALL. We do holiday dinners traditionally with our families however, and that is really what being jewish means to me at this point - it's more of a cultural, traditional thing. Once we have kids, we are going to send them to hebrew school and they will be bar or bat mitzvah'd, but after that - its really more of the culture that I will instil in my child.
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| Posted 11/3/06 7:27 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jewish Ladies....
I have to say one thing though...I noticed that many people say they went to temple every friday night. Growing up my parents tried to do this with us in a conservative temple and honestly, I found it quite boring. I definitely didnt want to be there. I joined a reform temple as an adult and they do things much different and this temple kind of makes it fun. Its not really to say that reform is "fun" compared to conservative but its also finding a Rabbi that keeps things interesting and keeps the temple going.
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| Posted 11/3/06 11:01 PM |
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