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prunepie
LIF Adult
Member since 7/06 4357 total posts
Name:
jennifer
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jewish moms or families w two faiths
Dh is jewish. I am whatever. We are having a boy and will circumsize in the hospital. Do people have bris that are just ceremonial(not actual cuircumsision?) What fay? Where? Who? Can someone explain all this to me? Tia!!!!!
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Posted 2/3/12 4:44 PM  |
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Googlybear
i got a mama's boy!!
Member since 10/11 1132 total posts
Name:
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
From what i have been told- yes my dh adn i are going throgh this now, you cant do a ceremonial bris- some temples may do a naming in the temple- bt not sure. My dh does not want a bris and i was raised jewish and if we have a boy would like one. It is important for me to have my kids know both religions, this is part of it. Call you local temple and find out..good luck
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| Posted 2/3/12 4:52 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Nope, unless you find an uuuuuuuber reformed mohel to "perform", though if they're not actually doing the circumcision, I don't think mohel's have any actual 'authority' in the temple.
If you're willing to do the ceremonial part, why not just have a bris and wait to do it until then?
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| Posted 2/3/12 5:28 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
I don't think there's any kind of bris that is just ceremonial. For girls, you would have a baby-naming in the synagogue on Shabbat. I don't know if they would do the same for boys circumcised in the hospital. What kind of ceremony would you be looking for?
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| Posted 2/3/12 7:13 PM |
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imyself
Member since 10/06 2938 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
My dh is Jewish and I was raised Catholic. Neither of us are practicing. Technically sine I am not Jewish our children can not be Jewish unless they convert when old enough. Dh wanted the circumcision done in the hospital so it was a moot point. We ended up doing a baby blessing for both our kids. We had an interfaith minister do the ceremony. It incorporated both religions of our families. So we had a baby naming for the Jewish side and the blessing with oil and water for the Catholic side.
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| Posted 2/3/12 9:29 PM |
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prunepie
LIF Adult
Member since 7/06 4357 total posts
Name:
jennifer
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Posted by imyself
My dh is Jewish and I was raised Catholic. Neither of us are practicing. Technically sine I am not Jewish our children can not be Jewish unless they convert when old enough. Dh wanted the circumcision done in the hospital so it was a moot point. We ended up doing a baby blessing for both our kids. We had an interfaith minister do the ceremony. It incorporated both religions of our families. So we had a baby naming for the Jewish side and the blessing with oil and water for the Catholic side.
that's how my dh feels too! May I ask how long after baby was born that u had the service?? Tia!
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| Posted 2/4/12 8:29 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
I'm Jewish and DH isn't. We had a bris at our house. I can't imagine it would be easy to find someone who would perform the ceremony without actually doing the circumcision.
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| Posted 2/4/12 10:26 AM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
My girlfriend is jewish and her DH is Catholic. Neither is practicing. But her DH's family was bugging them to baptize their twins. So instead, at their first birthday party they did a baby naming and a blessing. I loved this idea.
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| Posted 2/4/12 10:42 AM |
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imyself
Member since 10/06 2938 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Posted by prunepie
that's how my dh feels too! May I ask how long after baby was born that u had the service?? Tia!
Ds was 4 months old and dd was 7 months old. Both times we planned it for spring when the weather got warmer lol We didn't want everyone trapped in the house. We just kind of made it up as we went along. But I will say I still get compliments from people about how much they enjoyed the service. So our plan worked both sides of the family were satisfied 
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| Posted 2/4/12 12:30 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
DH is Jewish. I am sorta Catholic. He wanted a Bris if/when we had a son. At the hospital after DS was born I said ok, you have a son, better start planning a bris otherwise I'm telling them to do it here.
He wants to raise DS Jewish. I could care less so I'm fine with that.
We used Dr. Dorothy Greenbaum. A couple women here suggested her. She is a mohelete and a pediatrician. She did an amazingly beautiful ceremony and the bris.
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| Posted 2/5/12 12:39 PM |
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NYchic
Girl & boy
Member since 6/09 2357 total posts
Name:
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Posted by imyself
Technically sine I am not Jewish our children can not be Jewish unless they convert when old enough.
Just FYI - I don't believe this is true anymore. I know several kids who are jewish and whose mom's are not - dads are.
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| Posted 2/5/12 3:50 PM |
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NYchic
Girl & boy
Member since 6/09 2357 total posts
Name:
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Question for those of you with jewish DH's...seems like a few of you said they didn't want a bris - wanted it done at hospital. What made them feel this way if you don't mind my asking? My DH is Jewish - I am not and I 100% prefer to have circumcision done in hospital right away. DH will definitely want a bris if we have a boy. Trying to figure out how I can talk him out of it. I know plenty of people who had baby namings for their sons so we could do that instead and we use an interfaith rabbi who I know would do that.
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| Posted 2/5/12 3:53 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
You can do a baby naming for the baby.
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| Posted 2/5/12 6:24 PM |
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imyself
Member since 10/06 2938 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Posted by NYchic
Question for those of you with jewish DH's...seems like a few of you said they didn't want a bris - wanted it done at hospital. What made them feel this way if you don't mind my asking? My DH is Jewish - I am not and I 100% prefer to have circumcision done in hospital right away. DH will definitely want a bris if we have a boy. Trying to figure out how I can talk him out of it. I know plenty of people who had baby namings for their sons so we could do that instead and we use an interfaith rabbi who I know would do that.
Couple reasons dh didn't want a Bris. And these are just his feelings about it. I stayed out of it. One was because he wanted it to be done in a hospital with pain relief and by a doctor with lots of surgical experience. Second reason is his mother talks very negatively about his Bris. There was apparently a problem but we don't know what happened. I see nothing wrong with the finished product lol but he had no intention of his son having a Bris. We are not raising our children Jewish no it was not a problem that ds didn't have a Bris.
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| Posted 2/5/12 7:09 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Posted by NYchic
Posted by imyself
Technically sine I am not Jewish our children can not be Jewish unless they convert when old enough.
Just FYI - I don't believe this is true anymore. I know several kids who are jewish and whose mom's are not - dads are.
Based on Jewish law (which hasn't changed in many years  ) the child is only Jewish if the mother is.
Message edited 2/5/2012 8:57:24 PM.
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| Posted 2/5/12 8:56 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Posted by NYchic
Question for those of you with jewish DH's...seems like a few of you said they didn't want a bris - wanted it done at hospital. What made them feel this way if you don't mind my asking? My DH is Jewish - I am not and I 100% prefer to have circumcision done in hospital right away. DH will definitely want a bris if we have a boy. Trying to figure out how I can talk him out of it. I know plenty of people who had baby namings for their sons so we could do that instead and we use an interfaith rabbi who I know would do that.
I went through a huge ordeal with our son and his bris
DH is Jewish, i'm nothing. He wanted a bris, i wasn't so sure, but was ok with a circumcision.
I wanted it to be done in the hospital, so we did a TON of research into it and found out a lot of things.
I think it depends on how religious you and your family are for one thing but i'm fairly certain that if the circumcision is done in the hospital, it is NOT a bris. The bris is the act of circumcision, plus the ceremony that accompanies it. You can't have one without the other and still have it be called a bris and have your son be considered jewish.
Even though there is such a thing as a 'ceremonial' bris - where the circumcision is done in the hospital by a dr, and you then have a mohle come to your house and do the ceremony, it's not really accepted amongst conservative (or perhaps even reform) jews. Because the circumcision is already done, the mohle still has to draw ceremonial blood from the area in order to complete the ritual.
However, this is not acceptable to some of the more religious branches of judaism, so we couldn't do that. According to Judaic law, our DS would not be Jewish if he didn't have a 'real' bris AND on top of that he still has to have a mikvah (sp?) to be converted.
So if you and/or your DH want your child to be Jewish, he needs to have a bris. A baby naming doesn't suffice.
I/We tried very much to find out if there was any alternate acceptable way to have it be done in the hospital vs. a bris, and we realized that it really wasn't, because DH's family is conservative and it just wasn't acceptable to them. (that's a whole other issue)
So, we ended up with Dr Greenbaum, who ultimately performed a beautiful ceremony and really helped put me at ease.
Good luck, its a difficult conversation to have!
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| Posted 2/6/12 2:44 PM |
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LondonGirl
LIF Infant
Member since 1/12 243 total posts
Name:
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Re: jewish moms or families w two faiths
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by NYchic
Posted by imyself
Technically sine I am not Jewish our children can not be Jewish unless they convert when old enough.
Just FYI - I don't believe this is true anymore. I know several kids who are jewish and whose mom's are not - dads are.
Based on Jewish law (which hasn't changed in many years ) the child is only Jewish if the mother is.
In Reform Jewish law, any child that is raised "with a Jewish identity" is Jewish.
eta: To the OP - JMO here, but I'm more comfortable with a mohel than having it done in the hospital. If you're willing to circumcise, why not just have a bris? A mohel does this one thing professionally. If you have your son circ'd in the hospital, it's done by the OB (since they are surgeons and this is technically surgery).
Message edited 2/6/2012 3:14:30 PM.
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| Posted 2/6/12 3:10 PM |
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