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MyChip-n-Dales
lifes many lil twisted curves
Member since 10/07 5158 total posts
Name:
aeriell
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just a lil mom vent here....
Im not speaking of anyone here.
I am annoyed. VERY annoyed. I had been with my dh for 10 yrs. he was my first last and only!
I had endometriosis VERY severe and i had surgery. at that time i was told i could NEVER get preggers. I have also been on the depo shot for 8 years and was still on it (not cycleing in 8 yrs mind you) ANYWAY DH and i spoke at the time that we were fine. if/when we were ready there was always adoption or other ways. (keep in mind we were not married at that time)
fast forward. DH and i talked about getting married blah blah blah. i was feeling tired and sick, i take a test go to the dr find out im PREGGERS!!! we get married in jan of 06 and had my twins in april of 06.
fast forward to why im annoyed. I have been hearing alot of comments (not always geared towards me but some family has said to me) About being preggers and not being married. W T F ?????
What is the difference of a lil piece of paper? What is the difference being married having a child then getting divorced??? is ok just because you WERE married when you were preggers??
GRRRRR sorry if you read this far thank you! Im sorry im just aggravated.
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Posted 1/5/09 8:32 PM  |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
 People are jerks. I'm sure they never did anything outside of the societal norms. 
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:36 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
I hear what you are saying. I think it's just one of those issues that people have very strong feelings about. KWIM? Like how dare you have your babies and not be married? It's no one business, but some people have strong feelings.
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:36 PM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Not my personal opinion, but I think some people look at it from a legal standpoint and children can be affected negatively if there is no marriage.
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:41 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
opinions are like a$$holes 
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:42 PM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Someone will always have something to say, no matter what the topic. Don't let it bother you. I know, easier said than done, but you area great wife and momma, so who cares!!
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:43 PM |
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MyChip-n-Dales
lifes many lil twisted curves
Member since 10/07 5158 total posts
Name:
aeriell
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by gpsyeyes
Not my personal opinion, but I think some people look at it from a legal standpoint and children can be affected negatively if there is no marriage.
I def understand that... what what about divorce? thats ok? thats better?
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:44 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by twinboys425
Posted by gpsyeyes
Not my personal opinion, but I think some people look at it from a legal standpoint and children can be affected negatively if there is no marriage.
I def understand that... what what about divorce? thats ok? thats better?
Exactly! Just because someone has a piece of paper doesn't mean that they will be together forever!
Don't let people get to you!
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:46 PM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by twinboys425
Posted by gpsyeyes
Not my personal opinion, but I think some people look at it from a legal standpoint and children can be affected negatively if there is no marriage.
I def understand that... what what about divorce? thats ok? thats better?
Definetly not! Like I said, it isn't my opinion!
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:49 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
I will say this though...marriage is more than a piece of paper...it is a vow you make to each other. Now, I know in today's world, people split up
let's not devalue the sanctity of marriage by referring to it merely as a "piece of paper"....my marriage is more than that, isn't yours?
That is not to say that people are not idiots who should keep their mouth shut about your situation....but, I just wanted to put that out there
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:50 PM |
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KristinasMama
How did she turn 2 so quickly?
Member since 10/07 8257 total posts
Name:
Blessed Mama of Kristina Elena
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
I've said it before and I'll say it again.... People just need to learn when to SHUT their mouths!
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:50 PM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
hey! i am your good friend and never knew you were not married! lmao
who cares what people think?
as long as his name is on the certificate then thats fine and forget everyone!
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:52 PM |
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MyChip-n-Dales
lifes many lil twisted curves
Member since 10/07 5158 total posts
Name:
aeriell
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by gpsyeyes
Posted by twinboys425
Posted by gpsyeyes
Not my personal opinion, but I think some people look at it from a legal standpoint and children can be affected negatively if there is no marriage.
I def understand that... what what about divorce? thats ok? thats better?
Definetly not! Like I said, it isn't my opinion!
i know. im not going after you sorry if it seemed like that. im just frustrated.. aggravated annoyed..KWIM???
besides i just had a few glasses of wine! soooo getting my frustration out before i hurt someone !
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:52 PM |
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gpsyeyes
She's my world!!!
Member since 8/06 1184 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Gotcha! 
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:55 PM |
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MyChip-n-Dales
lifes many lil twisted curves
Member since 10/07 5158 total posts
Name:
aeriell
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by Mikismom
I will say this though...marriage is more than a piece of paper...it is a vow you make to each other. Now, I know in today's world, people split up
let's not devalue the sanctity of marriage by referring to it merely as a "piece of paper"....my marriage is more than that, isn't yours?
That is not to say that people are not idiots who should keep their mouth shut about your situation....but, I just wanted to put that out there
I also agree with this statement. BUT at the same time this "piece of paper" is it really needed to make you a "couple" a "family"??? I think 2 people can coexist and be happy living like a "married" couple. I loved my DH and we vowed to be together for the rest of our lives WELLLLLLL before the "piece of paper" KWIM?
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:57 PM |
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DmarieK
My loves!!
Member since 1/06 9203 total posts
Name:
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
I've learned to ignore what people say...there will always be someone to say something!!
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| Posted 1/5/09 8:57 PM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
a good relationship is a good relationship-I do not think the paper will make it stronger-it is either going to make it or it will not, whether or not anyone has a paper.
I know plenty of people who are legally married and sad to say do not make it and people who are not and happy...
I get what you are saying.
Do not let those family members bother you.
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:00 PM |
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steph7308
Mommy of 2!!!
Member since 5/08 2083 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
As an unmarried mom, i can agree with you. when people find out that i have a daughter, they look at my finger right away (i guess cuz i look young?). Even before i got pregnant, me and my boyfriend knew we were gonna get married one day. we still plan on it but are waiting for the right time (financially). i work in an assisted living home and the old people were constantly making comments about being pregnant and unmarried. i just want to say to them, its 2008 people, get over it.
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:09 PM |
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Well to be perfectly honest it made a big difference to me. It didn't make me love my child any less but it was a totally different experience to me. I am someone who had a baby unmarried. Later on met someone, got married and had more children.
I've been on both sides.
I do have to say that not one single family member treated me any different b/c I got pg and wasn't married. They loved me and my DD just the same. Life went on and no one passed judgement.
I was still with the baby's father at the time. In fact we were engaged to be married b/c I was pg...what a HUGE mistake that would have been. Thank goodness I didn't marry him. I would've been miserable.
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:14 PM |
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by twinboys425
Posted by Mikismom
I will say this though...marriage is more than a piece of paper...it is a vow you make to each other. Now, I know in today's world, people split up
let's not devalue the sanctity of marriage by referring to it merely as a "piece of paper"....my marriage is more than that, isn't yours?
That is not to say that people are not idiots who should keep their mouth shut about your situation....but, I just wanted to put that out there
I also agree with this statement. BUT at the same time this "piece of paper" is it really needed to make you a "couple" a "family"??? I think 2 people can coexist and be happy living like a "married" couple. I loved my DH and we vowed to be together for the rest of our lives WELLLLLLL before the "piece of paper" KWIM?
I'm not saying they are right for saying it but obviously there is a difference between being married and "living like a 'married' couple", or you wouldn't have married DH. There isn't much more you could have done, you got pregnant and got married. Were they expecting a virgin bride?
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:21 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by twinboys425
Posted by Mikismom
I will say this though...marriage is more than a piece of paper...it is a vow you make to each other. Now, I know in today's world, people split up
let's not devalue the sanctity of marriage by referring to it merely as a "piece of paper"....my marriage is more than that, isn't yours?
That is not to say that people are not idiots who should keep their mouth shut about your situation....but, I just wanted to put that out there
I also agree with this statement. BUT at the same time this "piece of paper" is it really needed to make you a "couple" a "family"??? I think 2 people can coexist and be happy living like a "married" couple. I loved my DH and we vowed to be together for the rest of our lives WELLLLLLL before the "piece of paper" KWIM?
I really agree. What about same sex couples who cannot get married? Are they not a family? One couple who happen to be very close friends with my parents have three boys and they are not married and they are one of the best, most lovingfamilies I have never seen.
What about our family? My MIL and her partner have been togteher for 10 years, she is Grandma Conny to my son, are we not a family?
Families aren't always nuclear anymore, and that is a GOOD thing!
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:22 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by twinboys425
Posted by Mikismom
I will say this though...marriage is more than a piece of paper...it is a vow you make to each other. Now, I know in today's world, people split up
let's not devalue the sanctity of marriage by referring to it merely as a "piece of paper"....my marriage is more than that, isn't yours?
That is not to say that people are not idiots who should keep their mouth shut about your situation....but, I just wanted to put that out there
I also agree with this statement. BUT at the same time this "piece of paper" is it really needed to make you a "couple" a "family"??? I think 2 people can coexist and be happy living like a "married" couple. I loved my DH and we vowed to be together for the rest of our lives WELLLLLLL before the "piece of paper" KWIM?
I really agree. What about same sex couples who cannot get married? Are they not a family? One couple who happen to be very close friends with my parents have three boys and they are not married and they are one of the best, most lovingfamilies I have never seen.
What about our family? My MIL and her partner have been togteher for 10 years, she is Grandma Conny to my son, are we not a family?
Families aren't always nuclear anymore, and that is a GOOD thing!
I never said or even insinuated that same sex couples are less of a family. I was merely pointing out that my marriage is much more than a piece of paper, that's all
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:33 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by twinboys425
Posted by Mikismom
I will say this though...marriage is more than a piece of paper...it is a vow you make to each other. Now, I know in today's world, people split up
let's not devalue the sanctity of marriage by referring to it merely as a "piece of paper"....my marriage is more than that, isn't yours?
That is not to say that people are not idiots who should keep their mouth shut about your situation....but, I just wanted to put that out there
I also agree with this statement. BUT at the same time this "piece of paper" is it really needed to make you a "couple" a "family"??? I think 2 people can coexist and be happy living like a "married" couple. I loved my DH and we vowed to be together for the rest of our lives WELLLLLLL before the "piece of paper" KWIM?
I really agree. What about same sex couples who cannot get married? Are they not a family? One couple who happen to be very close friends with my parents have three boys and they are not married and they are one of the best, most lovingfamilies I have never seen.
What about our family? My MIL and her partner have been togteher for 10 years, she is Grandma Conny to my son, are we not a family?
Families aren't always nuclear anymore, and that is a GOOD thing!
I never said or even insinuated that same sex couples are less of a family. I was merely pointing out that my marriage is much more than a piece of paper, that's all
Oh, I agree with you and I didn't mean to attack you (sorry if I did!)
I agree that marriage is important and more than a piece of paper, obviously, or I wouldn't be married But I guess (and this isn't directed at you) that that piece of paper doesn't make a family
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:44 PM |
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mypumpkin
It's a beautiful day! :)
Member since 7/08 2296 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by lastchance1222
a good relationship is a good relationship-I do not think the paper will make it stronger-it is either going to make it or it will not, whether or not anyone has a paper.
I know plenty of people who are legally married and sad to say do not make it and people who are not and happy...
I get what you are saying.
Do not let those family members bother you.
ITA!!!!!
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:47 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by KateDevine
that piece of paper doesn't make a family
I agree 100%
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:49 PM |
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MyChip-n-Dales
lifes many lil twisted curves
Member since 10/07 5158 total posts
Name:
aeriell
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Re: just a lil mom vent here....
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by Mikismom
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by twinboys425
Posted by Mikismom
I will say this though...marriage is more than a piece of paper...it is a vow you make to each other. Now, I know in today's world, people split up
let's not devalue the sanctity of marriage by referring to it merely as a "piece of paper"....my marriage is more than that, isn't yours?
That is not to say that people are not idiots who should keep their mouth shut about your situation....but, I just wanted to put that out there
I also agree with this statement. BUT at the same time this "piece of paper" is it really needed to make you a "couple" a "family"??? I think 2 people can coexist and be happy living like a "married" couple. I loved my DH and we vowed to be together for the rest of our lives WELLLLLLL before the "piece of paper" KWIM?
I really agree. What about same sex couples who cannot get married? Are they not a family? One couple who happen to be very close friends with my parents have three boys and they are not married and they are one of the best, most lovingfamilies I have never seen.
What about our family? My MIL and her partner have been togteher for 10 years, she is Grandma Conny to my son, are we not a family?
Families aren't always nuclear anymore, and that is a GOOD thing!
I never said or even insinuated that same sex couples are less of a family. I was merely pointing out that my marriage is much more than a piece of paper, that's all
Oh, I agree with you and I didn't mean to attack you (sorry if I did!)
I agree that marriage is important and more than a piece of paper, obviously, or I wouldn't be married But I guess (and this isn't directed at you) that that piece of paper doesn't make a family
thank you.
i feel my kids are my miracle babies. there our glue. there my piece of paper. ( i got 2 when i told i couldnt have 1) there not the 1/2 b*stard children some people make the out to be because they were concieved outside of marriage. yes i married my dh. not because i 100% felt i needed to be married but because of the family... i was tired of the comments. yes we were gonna get married. yes were WERE gonna get the "piece of paper" BUT we didnt need to do it at that moment. I LOVE my DH and wouldnt change what we did for anything in the world BUT at teh same time i wish things didnt feel forced becasue of "society"
KWIM?
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| Posted 1/5/09 9:49 PM |
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