Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

My parents had 6 kids. Education was important to them. They paid for all 6 to go to private school and then onto college as well. (we all went to 4-year private colleges/universities too).

We were responsible for everything else. My DH and I paid for our own wedding, I bought my first car when I could afford to (I was 23 years old!) and DH and I bought our house together after saving and investing for a few years. IT never even crossed my mind that either of our parents would pay for any of this.

We will do the same for our kids.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

If I am lucky enough to be as well off as my parents...I would do exactly what they did for me...and still do!
New car, college education, beautiful wedding...the works!

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

my parents paid for our cars, college, weddings, and lots of other things. They by no means had the money. My dad was a NYPD and my mom was a stay at home mom. They sacrificed a lot to give us things they didn't have. My siblings and I always had jobs in high school and throughout college. To say my parents were and are still extremely generous to us and now their grandchildren would be an understatement. I will do the same for my children!

Message edited 8/3/2012 12:45:49 AM.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I'd like to pay for DD's wedding if I can, or at least as much as I can. I'll help her with college, but am not against her having student loans to pay for some of it as well. First car, I'll probably help her, but insurance/gas is on her; and I'm not going to outright buy her a car...I'll contribute some, or cosign a loan if needed. House is her bag.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

The only financial obligation I feel that i should (if I can) provide to my kids outside of basic necessities, is a college education. No fancy cars, No fancy weddings...only college. And God willing , money for a house. This is only after my own future is secure. They will have much more time to save for their future.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

college - absolutely. At least in-state. I'll consider grad school when the time comes.

car - we plan on having a third car, and they can use that car until they earn enough to get their own (AND pay for insurance) - we would match savings to encourage saving more.

wedding - not sure about all of it, but we plan on a nice chunk.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I save for my kids futures.

We have a spending account, money going to the mortgage, a retirement account & a kids future savings account.

My family helped me go through school without debt. This has enabled me to be where I am today & I'm eternally grateful. I made it my goal to have the cheapest education possible and had scholarships pay MOST of my tuition.

The rest is debatable... I bought my own house, car, etc.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

If I am in a financial position to help them, I will.

I had very little support in this regard from my parents. I worked hard. Paid for my own car. College was free (my step mom worked for the university).

My husband parents are well off and paid for our wedding and down payment on a house. If they were not in a position to do so, my hub and I would have.

So If I can help my kids, i will. I will not put my financial well being in jeopardy to do so. But I will do whatever I can, IF I can.

Large (future) expenses for your kids

My parents and DH's mom are extremely generous with us. My parents gave me a used company car for my first car (nothing fancy). They paid for me to go to beauty school, which I never did anything with, and subsequently paid for almost a full degree at Suffolk.They paid a huge majority for our wedding and DH's mom hosted the rehearsal dinner and paid for the limos. MIL gives us alot in terms of groceries and free babysitting. My dad paid a large portion of the down payment on our home. We are incredibly lucky and grateful. I will do for our kids what they do for us, if i'm in the financial position to do so.

Message edited 8/3/2012 11:27:23 AM.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I do have accounts to help with things such as a wedding or down payment on a house and have every intention ( and have planned) for paying for college. My parents helped with NOTHING but a little help (very little) help with paying for college. I would like to provide better for my children.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I can only pray that we will be financially stable enough to help our son with a car and college costs. My parents did that for me and I hope I can do the same for him.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Message edited 8/3/2012 1:28:09 PM.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

My parents gave me a lot but there was never even a discussion of them helping with a down payment for a house. They felt that anything I needed as an adult was my resonsibility because they gave me what they could to get me educated and ready to be a grown up. I did not know that people get help from their parents for that until I spoke to some friends who got help. Those friends had a much easier time than I did with buying homes and if my parents had helped I would have bought long before I did. However at least 3 of the people/couples I know who got help from their parents have no concept of money and still look for bailouts. I do not know what I will do with helping my son buy a home.

My first car....dad had a deal with me and my sister. Whatever amount we raised by working, he matched so that we could afford safer cars. My sister worked more hours at her high school job than I did at mine. Her first car was worth more than mine but mine was pretty nice. I had no issue at all with that b/c I could have worked more hours. I felt that this was a great way to start off with a decent car but have to work for it.

I started my law practice with no financial help and it is great to know that I don't owe anyone a single thing and that I survived based solely on the work that I have done. I see a difference in my level of pride in my work vs. that of people who had financial help to start. I never had to move back home & I continued to be able to do things like summer share houses. I can credit myself for it.

Message edited 8/4/2012 12:15:13 AM.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I would be happy to help my children with large expenses. DC already have rather large college funds (some from us, lots from grandparents).

My parents paid for my college (not my masters), 90% of my wedding and my grandparents left me a substantial amount of money for a downpayment on a house. My family did not want us broke after milestones.

For my own DC, I would like to pay for college, some (half of wedding) and give a nice $ gift for home.

DH and I live very comfortably and have been preparing for the future. We both have pensions and retirement funds. We have 529s for our kids and have maxed it out each year.

There are other ways to teach kids responsibilities. Paying for everything themselves is only 1 way. I come from a fortunate family and have been raised to work hard for what you want, but plan ahead. I want my kids to be the same way.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I want to save as much as I can for college as possible, but I doubt it will be enough for the full expense by the time my children are old enough for college. I plan on encouraging state school and commute. I dont want my kids starting life with thousands of dollars in loan debt (I know how that feels and my life is very much limited because of it). I would like to help for a bachelors...masters they would have to do on their own if they wanted/needed one.

If they decide not to go to college, then any money saved could go to a down payment on a home. The way I see it though is that it is easier to save for a down payment on a house (less money) especially if you dont have hundreds per month to pay for student loans.

I'm not buying cars

I'm not paying for extravagent parties. I will get them a nice wedding gift, but to spend thousands on a party when I saving for college is a stretch...its just not a priority.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

If i am able to do so, then yes i will help out.

car= we will pay half. That's what my mom did.

college= we will chip in.

wedding= we will chip in like my mom did but no i will not pay for it all.

house= if we have enough to spread the wealth, then maybe i would.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I am starting a 529 for DD and my parents already started one. I also put money in her savings account each time I get paid. I strive to be able to do everything I can for her.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

We have a 529 for both boys and have a really good amount in it so far.

DH and I do not agree on this topic. I think the best thing we can do for them is make sure WE are taken care of, retirement wise. THey have their whole lives to make $$$. We will be OLD and DH won't want to crawl into burning buildings when he is 70. We will do our best, but I REFUSE to raise entitled children. DH has already mentioned wanting to have all our kids on traveling teams $$$, entire summers in Europe (family), cars at 16, weddings and college.etc this is how HE was raised. I was happier with much less, and so will my babies.

Large (future) expenses for your kids

Whatever I can do for my child (ren) I will. So long as they are doing the right thing in their lives and aren't brats. My parents paid for my college, a car (used) and our entire wedding. They have done the same for my sister so far, she isn't married yet but they will pay for her wedding as well.