major daycare problem

Ladies..please help..I am in full panic mode right now..

This afternoon I went to the daycare to drop of DS's diapers, etc for Monday, his first day. I asked to go in the back where the swings are to take another look at them bc he will only nap in a swing. Well I get back there and there are 3 babies sitting in the swings with the bottles propped in their mouths!! I wanted to die. 2 were about 5 mos old (twins) and the other was a year old. I asked the teacher and she said the twins were propped bc that's how their mom feeds them at home. The 1 year old's was bc she was "too lazy" to hold it. I said under no circumstances do I want my son's bottle to be propped - ever! He needs to be held and fed. As I was leaving, I saw the director/owner in the parking lot and she came over to say hi. I was getting a little teary (I always do, vs getting angry its so annoying). She asked if anything was wrong and I told her what I saw. One of the infant teachers came out and she confrontefd her about it. She told her the same thing she told me. The director said she would talk to them about it. Now I am panicking. I am starting DS on Monday and going back to work on the 9th. I told DH and he said for me to call and see if we can find somewhere else...

WWYD in this situation? On Monday I plan to stay there for a while but I feel like in the back of my head I will be thinking of that crap. And who knows what goes on when I'm not there!

Re: major daycare problem

I know how stressful it is to leave your DC for the first time.
No one will care for them like you do.
That doesn't mean you can accept substandard care.
If you are not going to work until the 9th - make a few stops in UNANNOUNCED next week and check on things.
Write a detailed schedule of DCs feedings, naps. Include what he likes and dislikes, ex - nap w/ binky.

Where are you located? Maybe you can get feedback from that place and others in your area.

ETA: Some babies are lazy - I was in the mall, saw a 14 month old whose mother was still holding the bottle. If the baby is lazy, it should be something the parents correct, not the daycare.

Message edited 10/30/2009 2:32:43 PM.

Re: major daycare problem

Okay... you know my initial thought based on my text...

However, now that I know more details:

If the mother of the twins instructs the daycare to prop their bottles, that's one thing, but if they are doing it because THEY (meaning the teachers) are lazy, then I would have a HUGE problem with that.

As for the 1 year old...I don't how I feel about that.

What I would do Jen is drop in at Tommy's bottle time, throughout the week next week and see what's going on. Since you are not going back to work until the 9th, you can pop in at different times during the week next week, so they won't know at which bottle to expect you, kwim?

I forgot, is this a center, or a private daycare?

ETA: Since my office is in the area, I can always drop in to "inquire" about daycare for Samantha....

Message edited 10/30/2009 2:37:10 PM.

Re: major daycare problem

I'd find a different daycare. I used to pick up DD#1 at all different times and never saw a baby with a bottle propped up like that. Babies were always held if they couldn't hold their own bottle.

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I work w/ a few day care mommies and a common complaint seems to be that the kids are left in swings with propped bottles you are def. not the only one this bothers.

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That wouldn't sit well with me. It sounds like the facility is being lazy about the care they are providing and tht would concern me personally.

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Am I a HORRIBLE mother bc it never even occurred to wonder if they held DS when he was a baby as opposed to propping the bottle?

I can see how sometimes they have to though, if 4kids are on the same schedule, they couldnt possibly hold them all, KWIM. So in some cases, its make your baby wait to eat when they are hungry so they can hold and feed all the babies or prop the bottles.

I totally see how impersonal it makes the whoel daycare situation seem and no one will ever take care of your DC they way you do. Maybe in-home care would be a better option for you if you feel more comfortable with more personalized one on one care?

For what its worth, I have NO idea if they propped DS bottle, I would assume at some point or another it has happened, but its still a wonderful center, they have take such good care of him, hes learned a lot and loves all his teachers.

It think sometimes is just par for the course in the infant room in a center with lots of kids, its just not logistically possible to hold all the kids who need to be held when they all need it at the same time. Sometimes, a bottle may be propped, they may be in a bouncy seat for a while. Your child will be OK though, I promise!

Message edited 10/30/2009 3:03:21 PM.

Re: major daycare problem

Ok, I'm guilty. We used to do this to DS when he was smaller and would go in the swing. I never saw anything wrong with this. But DS would eat every 3 hours and I did hold him much of the time, but about once a day we did do the prop method and my DS at 9 mos drinks most of his bottles himself (I only feed him his before bed bottle). He will lie on the floor and do it himself.

Message edited 10/30/2009 3:06:02 PM.

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Honestly I wouldnt switch daycare's over it. I would just be VERY clear that under no circumstances should your child have his bottle propped.

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Well I see if the twins mother asked them to do that it makes sense. It’s the mother’s direction.

The 1yr old, well for that I can say I’ve seen them do that to AJ on the video and honestly it taught her hold her bottle as odd as that may sound. I always held her bottle at home but at daycare they have like 8 kids and AJ would sometimes hold her bottle. Finally I saw what they were doing and I tried it at home. AJ will hold her own bottle if she’s not being ‘lazy’. If she’s lazy, yes I still try to hold it for her but that’s because it ends up being a mess if I don’t.

Still I think you should just check in twice a day that week so you can feel comfortable. I think its hard to make judgments out of context. Now that I’m familiar with my daycare and the caregivers I understand a whole lot more and things are not as bad as they may have appeared 9-10mo ago when I first dropped her off.

Good Luck!

Message edited 10/30/2009 3:25:08 PM.

Re: major daycare problem

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It's one thing if I at home do that to help her learn to hold the bottle etc...BUT to just prop it up bc she's lazy is NOT acceptable, unless me or my DH as a parent instructs that they can do this I would be livid!!!

Re: major daycare problem

Its your comfort level, go with your gut.
Seems a bit lazy of the teacher to me.
What was she doing?

Re: major daycare problem

I would not be comfortable with that. Is there a way you can look into private care rather than a center? I'm still confused as to why a one year old was in a swing. Maybe it's just my baby, but he hasn't been in the swing in months. Also, I would be concerned that this was standard at this center. If you do not want to go the private route then as PP have said I would drop in around his feedings to be sure that there was no "propping".

Good luck to you

Message edited 10/30/2009 3:32:54 PM.

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It's just something I am not in any way, shape or form comfortablew with. Some of you mentioned you would be ok with it, I am not at all. I am trying to calm down and think rationally and talk to DH when he gets home.

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Message edited 10/30/2009 3:40:44 PM.

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Message edited 10/30/2009 3:41:21 PM.

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I would not be comfortable at all. When I was looking on the NY Office and Children Services website on daycares I saw that the one I chose got a violation for having a child under a certain age hold their own bottle (or it was propped). I forgot the situation. I asked the Director about it and she said something like they State woman walked in at the wrong time and it was fixed immediatly. It even says so on the State's email. The Director told me that they're not allowed to ever prop the bottles and the teachers always hold young babies when feeding.

Is this is private daycare? Did you check this site on them?

http://it.ocfs.ny.gov/ccfs_facilitysearch//Default.aspx

Re: major daycare problem

I would find a new daycare. Regular bottle propping can cause ear infections. My cousin's bottle was always propped when he was a baby and he had to have tubes in his ears and has hearing loss because of constant ear infections. i even read that in What to Expect in the First Year.

At least the director confronted them. If you can't find another daycare, I would ask the director to check in on the room a few times a month just to make sure. And I would start the conversation by telling her about the ear infection thing. Hopefully that will alert her to how serious it is.

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Well, for starters, I would go to the LAW, which says that babies 6 mts old and younger must be held up when fed! And fed by a person, not propped!