Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

It's been so hard trying to make friends at the Mommy & Me classes Kev and I go to. It seems like most of the other moms already know each other from past classes.

Its so hard because they are always talking about plans for after class and the weekends and I feel like such a outsider.

Over the past few months family issues had me running all over the place and things were so hectic I really didn't mind so much but now that things are settling down I'd like Kevin to start interacting with other kids his age more than just the once a week we go to class.

I wish some of my friends had kids but right now I'm the only one.

Sorry for sounding so whiny but its just so frustrating.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

I've heard from other moms I know that the Mommy and Me classes are very cliquey and that the Saturday morning classes have more down to earth moms. I don't know how true that is, but maybe try out a weekend class?

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

I would try some playdates on a local website (you know like this one... )

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

I find that I just have a really hard time making friends so its just naturally harder for me. I am in a playgroup on thursdays only because my friend that I have known forever also had a baby and joined groups and made friends. Even after a year of going to this group I find thta Im not as close with the other girls as everyone else is. Its always like this for me.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

just wait til he starts schoold, you should she the cliques in my daughters' school, UNREAL! It's all about how much money you have, where you live and what you wear?

Message edited 10/5/2006 8:28:14 PM.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Hi, I found the same thing. It really used to upset me a lot, but now my daughter is a little older and can do more, I am kind of getting over it. How old is your child? My DD just turned 2. We are always looking for friends to get together and play with. We live in West Islip, but will travel just about anywhere. If you or any other Mommies out there want to do get togthers, let me know. I can set it up..

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

the girls at my mommy and me are so nice. but i don't think they hang out outside of the class.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

I found this as well. I am hoping to meet some mommies at Gymboree with Sara this time around

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

I found this as well. I am shy so it is makes it even harder. I am hoping as Carlie gets older and makes friend who she will want playdates with, I will get to meet the moms. I guess time will tell....

Message edited 10/5/2006 9:48:36 PM.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

I think it depends on the class. I will let you know in a few weeks.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

That stinks!! I have found that many moms eyeball each other and their kids in BRU. It is like a competition thing almost......so silly! My stroller is better than yours is b*tch!! LOL

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Posted by emilain

just wait til he starts schoold, you should she the cliques in my daughters' school, UNREAL! It's all about how much money you have, where you live and what you wear?

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Im really way past the stage of trying to get into any friendship circles.
Im happy and blessed to have great friends and many wonderful mommy-friends (those Ive met since Ive had kids). Im very friendly and have no problem chatting (can ya tell? ) actually Im the one that will usually get the shy ones out of their shells

I meet many moms along the way, at playdates, events, kids things, etc. and as with everyone, you'll know who you get along great with and who you might not. Some we keep in touch with more than others.

Those that are clicky are not even worth a second look in my opinion. I met a group of moms a few yrs ago, I think it was 7 of us. we had a few playdates, and then one mom said "you know what, lets keep it JUST US, NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED IN"
I "left the group" within a couple of weeks, I stopped going.
That HS nonsense is not necessary. A few of us had met other moms who wanted friends for their babies, etc. so were we supposed to tell them "youre not allowed in"? esp when we barely knew everyone in the group to begin with! I kept in touch with 2 of them, the only 2 sincere, good ones
and one told me what a disaster the group became, competition and pettiness galore.
some "personalities" are not worth it.

Enjoy your child, and be yourselves. you willl find friends for both of you when you least expect it.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

When I was on LI I went to a musical moppets class at my local library and there was already a big group of girls who knew each other, being the outgoing gal I am, I tried to nose in on their conversation, but they were having none of it, except to say that they loved my diaper bag!

I am so lucky to have met my Chorlton Bad Mothers Club girlfriends here...I would be a wreck without them!!!

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

I can see what you are saying, however, I have not had that experience at all. Yes, I did make a great group of moms (none live in my neighborhood but in ones 5 -10 min away) that I have become very close to from going to Mingling Moms and I do take classes with them, playdates, and go out socially with them and their husbands but I also made it my business to go to classes by myself to meet people in my neighborhood. the experience is totally up to you and trust me I was not in the popular click in high school or rather any click at all...

You also have to remember, in the beginning, you do take the classes to get out of the house, have conversations with adults, but the bottom line is that these type of classes are for your children, They are the ones who need to get something out of it.

Keep trying the classes because you never know who you can meet and once you keep taking it and go week after week things might change

Message edited 10/6/2006 8:18:13 AM.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

I got to a MOPS program Mother of preschoolers and I felt a little awkward because some people knew each other beforehand. But after the lecture everyone came around to say to me this week welcome back (2nd week there). I thought that was really nice.

I would feel uncomfortable too if something was cliquey =-( hope it gets better!

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

my DH keeps telling me to join these places since Im a SAHM and all my friends are still in college or doing there thing and Im only 23 but I rememeber what high school was like and i have trouble making friends cause im very shy and all so I still havent had the guts to go to one lol. maybe after this baby is born I will go to one of the LIF meets they always look like fun.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Message edited 10/6/2006 11:26:36 AM.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Thanks for all the replies.

It helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I just know how important it is for kids to interact with other children for their development and I don't want my "shyness" to hurt affect Kevin.

Message edited 10/6/2006 11:40:16 AM.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Posted by BlessedBMommi

That stinks!! I have found that many moms eyeball each other and their kids in BRU. It is like a competition thing almost......so silly! My stroller is better than yours is b*tch!! LOL

Message edited 10/6/2006 2:53:37 PM.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

We should try to hook up a biweekly or monthly play date/GTG around here (rotate houses and stuff). I would be willing to offer up my house on a weekend but it has to be after November

I feel for you ladies...I had the same experience when I went to the Parent/Teacher night at nursery school. The mothers were VERY pretentious and were not friendly at all

Message edited 10/6/2006 3:01:54 PM.

Re: Making friends at Mommy & Me classes...It's like HS all over! (Vent)

Posted by dandr10199

Posted by BlessedBMommi

That stinks!! I have found that many moms eyeball each other and their kids in BRU. It is like a competition thing almost......so silly! My stroller is better than yours is b*tch!! LOL

Very true. When ever I get those looks I think to myself...

Well, since you are SO obviously wealthy ( ) I hope you & your Dh are maxing out your 401K's, Roth IRA's and your DC's 529 account. I sure hope you have zero debt and live beneath your means. Most Americans are THREE missed paychecks away from bankruptcy and if you or you Dh lost your jobs I hope you have three months of living expenses saved.
You know, DH and I drive used cars, but we have zero car payments. We live in a fixer upper, but we are not going nuts trying to pay an exorbitant mortgage. We could have more stuff, but I chose to work PT instead of having a $600 stroller.
I don't mean to judge anyone, but when people give us looks like we are not giving Gracie the best because she has Graco stroller ($200) instead of a $600 stroller, or if we buy store brand formula, or anything else to save $$, it is ridiculous!
I think that we will giving her the best gift of all...two parents who are not fighting over $$, and have her college PAID FOR, our retirement funded (so she will not have to take care of us when there is no social security for us, which I believe there will not be) and a mom who can spend all day with her four days a week.

That is what I think when I get the dirty looks as I stroll by in my $200 Graco stroller/car seat combo. I end up feeling pity on these moms and I say a little prayer for them and their DC.