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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
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middle school- missing school?
I don't care what grade it is and how smart your child is - I personally would never consider taking my child out of school for that many days for vacation.
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Posted 10/27/19 5:08 PM  |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by BargainMama
If 6th is in elementary school still (ours is in middle school at that grade), I wouldn't worry about it at all. Middle school is harder, lots of classes, different teachers, different work. My daughter hardly misses school because of that. Too much to make up
sorry yes- middle school.
I wouldn't, but if you can't avoid it, oh well.
My daughter is super smart also, and in advanced Math. Even missing a day would cause a lot of making up since they move very quickly in there. In fact, I booked a trip to London over Veteran's Day weekend, she would be missing 2 days of school, and said no way!
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| Posted 10/27/19 5:27 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by aliwnec10
I appreciate everyone's opinions, so thank you.
We cannot reschedule Aruba. It is in 2 weeks. Aruba and the cruise for my aunts 80th are definitely happening. We usually only take one fall vacation a year. This year is different because of my aunts 80th in Feb and she had a liver transplant 8 years ago so it 100% is being celebrated.
I do agree that 6th is a lot of work and we're very fortunate that my son is very smart so honestly, it hasn't been a big deal at all as far as the workload, so far. If he wasn't so smart, then of course we'd re-evaluate. He's in advanced math and science. He loves reading. I am extremely good at math so i have always been able to help him, if needed.
We are a family of 5 so traveling during school breaks is not in the budget. Until i absolutely have to, i will avoid that time frame. I work FT and my husband is a police officer so to some extent, we do have to go around his schedule. The summer isn't the best time for us to go away.
I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of the teachers. I honestly hadn't thought of it like that until some mentioned it. So thank you for opening my eyes to that.
It really baffles me why people ask for opinions on what to do and not really care what the answers are. If your mind was already made up because your child is so smart, then why post about it at all.
Seriously??? 
I did care. I wrote that i appreciate everyone's responses and that some i hadn't even thought of. I was simply answering some posts and concerns. My mind isn't made up. Hence why i asked. I was simply explaining my thoughts. I didn't realize i couldn't do that...
And i'm sorry but whether your kid is doing well in school or struggling does play a role in the decision. I was simply stating where my child is academically. Nothing to get offended over.
Message edited 10/27/2019 5:51:06 PM.
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| Posted 10/27/19 5:48 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by KarenK122
Posted by aliwnec10
I appreciate everyone's opinions, so thank you.
We cannot reschedule Aruba. It is in 2 weeks. Aruba and the cruise for my aunts 80th are definitely happening. We usually only take one fall vacation a year. This year is different because of my aunts 80th in Feb and she had a liver transplant 8 years ago so it 100% is being celebrated.
I do agree that 6th is a lot of work and we're very fortunate that my son is very smart so honestly, it hasn't been a big deal at all as far as the workload, so far. If he wasn't so smart, then of course we'd re-evaluate. He's in advanced math and science. He loves reading. I am extremely good at math so i have always been able to help him, if needed.
We are a family of 5 so traveling during school breaks is not in the budget. Until i absolutely have to, i will avoid that time frame. I work FT and my husband is a police officer so to some extent, we do have to go around his schedule. The summer isn't the best time for us to go away.
I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of the teachers. I honestly hadn't thought of it like that until some mentioned it. So thank you for opening my eyes to that.
It really baffles me why people ask for opinions on what to do and not really care what the answers are. If your mind was already made up because your child is so smart, then why post about it at all.
Idk if you understood her post but she wasn’t asking about Aruba and the cruise but if the the 3rd vacation was too excessive. And from her post you quoted, it looks like she is taking everyone’s feedback into consideration and hasn’t made a decision on whether they will go in March.
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| Posted 10/27/19 9:07 PM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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middle school- missing school?
If the other two are definitely happening, personally, I would not go to Disney on top of that. Maybe if he were in Kindergarten, but definitely not 6th.
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| Posted 10/27/19 9:08 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: middle school- missing school?
So when my son started school I was one of those parents that said I would never pull my son out of school. Well 1st grade came and I did. Talk about eat my words lol.
In your situation, I would think the trip in March would be too much but I also really feel like you know his school and your situation.
Maybe if it was May or June I would be like ehh.. ok.
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| Posted 10/27/19 9:50 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by aliwnec10
I appreciate everyone's opinions, so thank you.
We cannot reschedule Aruba. It is in 2 weeks. Aruba and the cruise for my aunts 80th are definitely happening. We usually only take one fall vacation a year. This year is different because of my aunts 80th in Feb and she had a liver transplant 8 years ago so it 100% is being celebrated.
I do agree that 6th is a lot of work and we're very fortunate that my son is very smart so honestly, it hasn't been a big deal at all as far as the workload, so far. If he wasn't so smart, then of course we'd re-evaluate. He's in advanced math and science. He loves reading. I am extremely good at math so i have always been able to help him, if needed.
We are a family of 5 so traveling during school breaks is not in the budget. Until i absolutely have to, i will avoid that time frame. I work FT and my husband is a police officer so to some extent, we do have to go around his schedule. The summer isn't the best time for us to go away.
I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of the teachers. I honestly hadn't thought of it like that until some mentioned it. So thank you for opening my eyes to that.
My DS is very smart, always on top of his class, and we are very flexible... but we never took him out for more than 5 days of vacation, leaving other days in case of illness. We live in NYC and he was in public school, but since 6th grade we were very careful with grades and attendance. In 7th grade he had perfect attendance... we thought he was going to go through public school for HS where only 7th grade grades, attendance and state tests, or SHSAT were important... and then he loved a private school were they looked at their records through middle school. My DS got into a very good specialized HS and public HS, but he and we decided on a private one that would have been out of the table if’d had too many absences. You have your personal scenario, just think of the future with that scenario. If you can do it, then enjoy.
Message edited 10/28/2019 1:39:58 AM.
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| Posted 10/28/19 1:09 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by Adri
Posted by aliwnec10
I appreciate everyone's opinions, so thank you.
We cannot reschedule Aruba. It is in 2 weeks. Aruba and the cruise for my aunts 80th are definitely happening. We usually only take one fall vacation a year. This year is different because of my aunts 80th in Feb and she had a liver transplant 8 years ago so it 100% is being celebrated.
I do agree that 6th is a lot of work and we're very fortunate that my son is very smart so honestly, it hasn't been a big deal at all as far as the workload, so far. If he wasn't so smart, then of course we'd re-evaluate. He's in advanced math and science. He loves reading. I am extremely good at math so i have always been able to help him, if needed.
We are a family of 5 so traveling during school breaks is not in the budget. Until i absolutely have to, i will avoid that time frame. I work FT and my husband is a police officer so to some extent, we do have to go around his schedule. The summer isn't the best time for us to go away.
I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of the teachers. I honestly hadn't thought of it like that until some mentioned it. So thank you for opening my eyes to that.
My DS is very smart, always on top of his class, and we are very flexible... but we never took him out for more than 5 days of vacation, leaving other days in case of illness. We live in NYC and he was in public school, but since 6th grade we were very careful with grades and attendance. In 7th grade he had perfect attendance... we thought he was going to go through public school for HS where only 7th grade grades, attendance and state tests, or SHSAT were important... and then he loved a private school were they looked at their records through middle school. My DS got into a very good specialized HS and public HS, but he and we decided on a private one that would have been out of the table if’d had too many absences. You have your personal scenario, just think of the future with that scenario. If you can do it, then enjoy.
Thank you!! I appreciate your perspective and yes something to keep in mind.
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| Posted 10/28/19 7:33 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by pumpkinmom
Maybe ask someone at the school after how many days out are there any consequences and what are they. I googled one year when I was worried about days out and I found 10% , 18 days, is considered chronic absenteeism in NY. No idea if there are any consequences at that number. And individual districts might have their own rules anyway.
School districts get "dinged" for this in their yearly reports.
If students are chronically absent, a PINS can be put in place. I have had several students who have been on PINS in the past. I teach at the HS level.
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| Posted 10/28/19 8:48 AM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7619 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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middle school- missing school?
15 days is a lot of school - even if it is spread out over a long period of time. In one week, I can cover an entire unit.
You also say that your child can do work on their trip. This is what parents tell me all the time. Great, but that requires me as a teacher to plan all of my lessons sometimes over a week in advance to accommodate your vacation. Some activities are not as simple as read this packet and answer these questions. I pretty much need to write sub plans for your trip to explain what your child needs to do. That's not happening. I teach HS and require students to stay after school to make up any work that they miss for vacations. My colleagues do the same. It sometimes takes kids weeks to make up all of their work for a one week trip. When trips happen at the end of the quarter, it puts a lot of stress on kids to make up the work in a timely fashion and sometimes they wind up with lower grades then they should due to this.
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| Posted 10/28/19 8:58 AM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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Re: middle school- missing school?
I'm not a teacher, but I don't think you can ask teachers to give any work ahead of time. The best you could do, IMO, is to have a classmate send the assignments to your kid each day via email or text. He'll have to bring all his books with him on vacation and just daily do the homework and do what he can. Then, when he gets back to school, if he needs to go to extra help, he does.
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| Posted 10/28/19 9:23 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by JME78
I don't care what grade it is and how smart your child is - I personally would never consider taking my child out of school for that many days for vacation.
I agree with this. It's not a matter of your child being smart. 15 days of school is A LOT to miss in a single year, and that's assume he does not get sick at all.
I'd be worried, as others have said, that you may go over your district's policy of allowed absences. They won't care how smart he is if you hit that number of absences.
You also have to consider that no matter how smart he is, you are putting an extraordinary amount of pressure on your child to learn 3 weeks of material across every subject on his own. I graduated at the top of my class, but I know that would have stressed me out big time!
Personally, I think this also sets the wrong tone in how he should prioritize responsibilities. Children learn from their parents and he's going to see that you don't value education as highly as free time for vacations. School is first and foremost important behind vacations, especially 2-3 in a year. I understand that it's more expensive to travel during breaks, but then maybe you can do smaller vacations, closer to home during summer rather than flying to Aruba, taking a cruise, and going to Disney - all of which are expensive vacations.
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| Posted 10/28/19 9:51 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by NYCGirl80
Posted by JME78
I don't care what grade it is and how smart your child is - I personally would never consider taking my child out of school for that many days for vacation.
I agree with this. It's not a matter of your child being smart. 15 days of school is A LOT to miss in a single year, and that's assume he does not get sick at all.
I'd be worried, as others have said, that you may go over your district's policy of allowed absences. They won't care how smart he is if you hit that number of absences.
You also have to consider that no matter how smart he is, you are putting an extraordinary amount of pressure on your child to learn 3 weeks of material across every subject on his own. I graduated at the top of my class, but I know that would have stressed me out big time!
Personally, I think this also sets the wrong tone in how he should prioritize responsibilities. Children learn from their parents and he's going to see that you don't value education as highly as free time for vacations. School is first and foremost important behind vacations, especially 2-3 in a year. I understand that it's more expensive to travel during breaks, but then maybe you can do smaller vacations, closer to home during summer rather than flying to Aruba, taking a cruise, and going to Disney - all of which are expensive vacations.
I agree. To me, education is first and foremost. Vacations are second.
A week on the beach won't really make an impact on your life.
Sometimes you can't have everything in life- if you can't afford to go away during school breaks, you may have to cut back. Smaller trips, shorter trips etc. Maybe not 3 trips in a year either.
We never go on huge, expensive trips. We go a few days here, a few days there, we stay domestic etc.
And my DD still loves every single trip we go on.
In the current scenario it seem that Aruba and the cruise are musts so I would definitely NOT do the Disney trip with SIL. To me, that's totally one that can be skipped.
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| Posted 10/28/19 10:00 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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middle school- missing school?
I would never under any circumstance, in any grade take my child out of school for that many days for vacation. It would not matter that he was smart. Kids should not miss that much school for ANY reason other than god forbid a health issue.
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| Posted 10/28/19 10:33 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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middle school- missing school?
We take our kids out all of the time for vacations but, we tend to tack them onto a week where they already have time off or take them out for a day or two here and there.
15 days is a lot - I would skip Disney.
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| Posted 10/28/19 10:52 AM |
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Cruisin
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 253 total posts
Name:
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middle school- missing school?
I think with a middle schooler now, you need to be more mindful of the dates. A February cruise that’s not February break probably isn’t a great choice. Yes, of course, it is cheaper then but having a middle schooler now I think takes priority.
My DS is a year younger and I used to pull him for the really cheap weeks to vacation throughout elementary school. Now, I solely look for school breaks and summer only. It does take a lot more budgeting but it’s not worth the school stress.
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| Posted 10/28/19 2:12 PM |
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Does his school have Arista/Honor Society? If so, attendance counts towards that too
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| Posted 10/28/19 2:18 PM |
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by aliwnec10
I appreciate everyone's opinions, so thank you.
We cannot reschedule Aruba. It is in 2 weeks. Aruba and the cruise for my aunts 80th are definitely happening. We usually only take one fall vacation a year. This year is different because of my aunts 80th in Feb and she had a liver transplant 8 years ago so it 100% is being celebrated.
I do agree that 6th is a lot of work and we're very fortunate that my son is very smart so honestly, it hasn't been a big deal at all as far as the workload, so far. If he wasn't so smart, then of course we'd re-evaluate. He's in advanced math and science. He loves reading. I am extremely good at math so i have always been able to help him, if needed.
We are a family of 5 so traveling during school breaks is not in the budget. Until i absolutely have to, i will avoid that time frame. I work FT and my husband is a police officer so to some extent, we do have to go around his schedule. The summer isn't the best time for us to go away.
I wasn't trying to be inconsiderate of the teachers. I honestly hadn't thought of it like that until some mentioned it. So thank you for opening my eyes to that.
No offense, but instead of 3 vacations, you could take 1 vacation during a school break.
I get it, we have two custody agreements, plus work schedules, etc. We are going to PR over February break this year and not leaving until Monday to find the cheapest airfare. But we will be back the Sunday before school starts too.
I think you should skip Disney IMO. It's not necessary.
Lastly, I think that if he's a good student you also have to look at what he could be penalized for for having poor attendance.
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| Posted 10/28/19 2:27 PM |
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by ali120206
We take our kids out all of the time for vacations but, we tend to tack them onto a week where they already have time off or take them out for a day or two here and there.
15 days is a lot - I would skip Disney.
I also agree with this. If they have two days off, taking 3 isn't so horrible etc.
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| Posted 10/28/19 2:30 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by Straightarrow
No offense, but instead of 3 vacations, you could take 1 vacation during a school break.
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This is a good idea and makes a lot of sense.
For the price of 3 trips you can do one over a school break.
I mean, I'd like to go on 3 trips or more a year too, but then we had a kid. And sacrifices had to be made.
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| Posted 10/28/19 3:57 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
No offense, but instead of 3 vacations, you could take 1 vacation during a school break.
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This is a good idea and makes a lot of sense.
For the price of 3 trips you can do one over a school break.
I mean, I'd like to go on 3 trips or more a year too, but then we had a kid. And sacrifices had to be made.
I’m not sure that some of you are reading the whole post. We usually do 1 fall trip a year. This year is different because it is my aunts 80th birthday so that is why we are going on another one. We are going for her birthday which is the first week of February.
So this isn’t the norm for us. I can’t stress this enough.
I feel like some of you have missed that and are being a bit judgy. good thing I don’t get offended easily.
Message edited 10/28/2019 5:09:54 PM.
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| Posted 10/28/19 5:08 PM |
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ap123
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 268 total posts
Name:
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
No offense, but instead of 3 vacations, you could take 1 vacation during a school break.
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This is a good idea and makes a lot of sense.
For the price of 3 trips you can do one over a school break.
I mean, I'd like to go on 3 trips or more a year too, but then we had a kid. And sacrifices had to be made.
I’m not sure that some of you are reading the whole post. We usually do 1 fall trip a year. This year is different because it is my aunts 80th birthday so that is why we are going on another one. We are going for her birthday which is the first week of February.
So this isn’t the norm for us. I can’t stress this enough.
I feel like some of you have missed that and are being a bit judgy. good thing I don’t get offended easily.
I know you said the first two trips are happening for sure. But my solution would be to celebrate the 80th birthday over the Feb break or early over MLK weekend. I would guess an 80 year old has a much more flexible schedule than a middle schooler. I agree with others, I would rearrange some of the travel to be over breaks. I wouldn't miss that much school because of the missed work and message it sends to my child and his teachers about where education falls on my priority list.
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| Posted 10/28/19 9:01 PM |
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MK2010x2
LIF Infant
Member since 8/17 142 total posts
Name:
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by NYCGirl80
Personally, I think this also sets the wrong tone in how he should prioritize responsibilities. Children learn from their parents and he's going to see that you don't value education as highly as free time for vacations. School is first and foremost important behind vacations, especially 2-3 in a year. I understand that it's more expensive to travel during breaks, but then maybe you can do smaller vacations, closer to home during summer rather than flying to Aruba, taking a cruise, and going to Disney - all of which are expensive vacations.
I totally agree with this. I would personally worry, as my kid gets older and I really want him/her to work hard - how would it impact their thinking if the message they got from me was that vacations are more important than school. (I think the exception in this thread was the person who went to China for adoption - that is a totally different situation and I think totally justified.
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| Posted 10/28/19 9:34 PM |
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middle school- missing school?
I teach middle school, and have had kids miss way more than what you’re describing. If they’re smart, it’s never an issue. If they’re not, it can be.
I would just double check the ny state laws-at a certain point, they can’t push them forward I believe, whether it’s excused or i excused. I had an issue in high school senior year, and almost had a big issue because I missed too many of one class. Even though it was excused, they have to deny credit (I want to say it’s 36 days?).
ETA: even as a teacher, I don’t view school to be the end all/be all. I’m a well-rounded person, life experiences add just as much as school does to a person’s development. I think prioritizing family, and experiencing the world, will always be important. Especially if you work to make it impactful.
Message edited 10/28/2019 9:48:21 PM.
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| Posted 10/28/19 9:43 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: middle school- missing school?
Posted by MK2010x2
Posted by NYCGirl80
Personally, I think this also sets the wrong tone in how he should prioritize responsibilities. Children learn from their parents and he's going to see that you don't value education as highly as free time for vacations. School is first and foremost important behind vacations, especially 2-3 in a year. I understand that it's more expensive to travel during breaks, but then maybe you can do smaller vacations, closer to home during summer rather than flying to Aruba, taking a cruise, and going to Disney - all of which are expensive vacations.
I totally agree with this. I would personally worry, as my kid gets older and I really want him/her to work hard - how would it impact their thinking if the message they got from me was that vacations are more important than school. (I think the exception in this thread was the person who went to China for adoption - that is a totally different situation and I think totally justified.
Listen, i understand what you're all saying. School is important to us. Very.
But so is life. I am 38 and both my parents died years ago. Life is short. So do i think school is everything??? No i don't.
Again i'm not saying this is the norm for us. We usually take 1 vacation a year. Sometimes life happens. Sometimes things come up out of the norm.
That doesn't mean i'm sending my child a message that school isn't important.
Message edited 10/28/2019 10:05:44 PM.
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| Posted 10/28/19 9:56 PM |
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