| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
|
MIL related...and its long
My MIL annoys me and I can't get around that - its nothing I can put my finger on, its a bit of everythign
Everytime we go somewhere for Dhs family, she thanks us for coming - like we're doing her the favor - we're not, we just do the right thing
We went away this weekend to celebrate DH's grandmothers birthday, and if she thanked us once, she thanked us 10 times - like I said we didn;t do it to please her
so, I got an email yesterday saying "And thank you to both of you for giving up your weekend. " to which I replied "we didn't feel like we gave up a weekend - we enjoy seeing them" - and thats the truth, so she replied with - thats so sweet, it made me smile...but it was supposed to say, stop thanking us....
Is this reply OTT?
"I guess you're not getting the point in that you don't have to thank us repeatedly every time we go somewhere - if we we make the decision to go somewhere, we're not doing it for you, we're doing it for us"
|
Posted 3/7/07 11:57 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Well..I could look at the other side of the story and say at least your MIL is polite enough to say thank you to you...
|
| Posted 3/7/07 11:59 AM |
| |
|
Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Stefanie
Well..I could look at the other side of the story and say at least your MIL is polite enough to say thank you to you...
you're right, but its so much it just grates on me - and all I can think is that there are many more years of this to come
|
| Posted 3/7/07 11:59 AM |
| |
|
~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
I personally wouldn't send that response - I think it's a little harsh. I'm sure the redundant thanking is annoying but honestly, if that's the worst of it I would let it slide.
This is a battle I would walk away from.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:00 PM |
| |
|
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Your MIL and my MIL must be clones.
She does the same thing to me and when I complain about it to other people they think I'm nuts.
It sounds so strange to complain about someone thanking you too much, but it's so annoying to deal with in the moment.
I would probably rephrase the sentance a little:
"Please understand that you don't have to thank us repeatedly every time we go somewhere - if we we make the decision to go somewhere, we're doing it because we want to be there. I appreciate the thought behind it, but it's not necessary."
A little less harsh. 
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:00 PM |
| |
|
ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Stefanie
Well..I could look at the other side of the story and say at least your MIL is polite enough to say thank you to you...
i agree  my MIL is the same way, and yeah, its annoying, but she could have worse character traits
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:00 PM |
| |
|
Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
I would shoot my dh a glance every time she says it and laugh it off. At least you know what's coming..
Next time tell her...you don't have to thank us.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:01 PM |
| |
|
baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
i don't know what your relationship with her is like, so I can't read the tone.
But I think you should just let this one slide off your back. I wouldn't send the email.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:01 PM |
| |
|
tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
Name:
His Baby
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Red
Is this reply OTT?
"I guess you're not getting the point in that you don't have to thank us repeatedly every time we go somewhere - if we we make the decision to go somewhere, we're not doing it for you, we're doing it for us"
I wouldn't reply with that. If her thanking you gets on your nerves, all you can write in your email is, "its not necessary to thank us all the time, we do it because we want to".
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:01 PM |
| |
|
Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
you're all right - Its too late now, but next time I'll use those lines
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:02 PM |
| |
|
LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
IMO I do think the email is OTT. At least she is nice you could have a witch for a MIL.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:03 PM |
| |
|
nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by ~Colleen~
I personally wouldn't send that response - I think it's a little harsh. I'm sure the redundant thanking is annoying but honestly, if that's the worst of it I would let it slide.
This is a battle I would walk away from.
I agree. In my family we always thank people for coming. My mom sent me roses for helping her when she was in the hospital--it was unnecessary, but nice. Of course she never had to thank me.
I think there could be MUCH worse things.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:03 PM |
| |
|
nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Red
you're all right - Its too late now, but next time I'll use those lines
 You sent it?
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:03 PM |
| |
|
Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
It offends you that she is polite? I would be grateful. It is better than her calling you a ho b!tch or something. Seriously, this doesn't seem like it is worth it. Why would you offend her over something that is just a courtesy?
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:04 PM |
| |
|
MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
mine is the same way always thanking us
anyway,
id skip the response- i can see its annoying but you are only causing troble
Message edited 3/7/2007 6:00:30 PM.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:04 PM |
| |
|
Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
I was just going to say exactly what Lauren said...maybe word it in a way that doesn't seem harsh but just say...
We enjoy attending family get-togethers and try to make it to as many as possible. There is really no need for you to thank us so often, we truly enjoy seeing the family.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:05 PM |
| |
|
johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Red
you're all right - Its too late now, but next time I'll use those lines
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:06 PM |
| |
|
leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Superkat
It offends you that she is polite? I would be grateful. It is better than her calling you a ho b!tch or something. Seriously, this doesn't seem like it is worth it. Why would you offend her over something that is just a courtesy?
Have you ever done something small for a person and they go OVER THE TOP thanking you for it.
While it's nice to be thanked, it gets annoying after a while and starts to seem false and phony.
Like I said in my previous post. It sounds crazy to anyone that's not experiencing it, but it can be MADDENING to have every little thing you do be blown up to something huge and make you feel like it's just not sincere.
It's really hard to explain, but I totally know where Red is coming from.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:07 PM |
| |
|
Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Red
"I guess you're not getting the point in that you don't have to thank us repeatedly every time we go somewhere - if we we make the decision to go somewhere, we're not doing it for you, we're doing it for us"
Did you get a response to this?
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:07 PM |
| |
|
MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by leighla
Like I said in my previous post. It sounds crazy to anyone that's not experiencing it, but it can be MADDENING to have every little thing you do be blown up to something huge and make you feel like it's just not sincere.
i TOTALLY agree. Though i do think the email you sent was impolite and can cause trouble i know that maddening feeling.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:08 PM |
| |
|
MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Stefanie
Well..I could look at the other side of the story and say at least your MIL is polite enough to say thank you to you...
i agree...plus, it seems like she's set in her ways and she's not going to change...just try and roll with it - some things are better just to let go of, or else you're going to drive yourself nuts!
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:09 PM |
| |
|
Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Stefanie
Posted by Red
"I guess you're not getting the point in that you don't have to thank us repeatedly every time we go somewhere - if we we make the decision to go somewhere, we're not doing it for you, we're doing it for us"
Did you get a response to this?
I deceided not to send it - next time she thanks us profusely, which will be PAssover, I'll respond more directly and in a non harsh tone and hopefully sh'll get the message
Message edited 3/7/2007 12:10:51 PM.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:09 PM |
| |
|
johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
Posted by Red
Posted by Stefanie
Posted by Red
"I guess you're not getting the point in that you don't have to thank us repeatedly every time we go somewhere - if we we make the decision to go somewhere, we're not doing it for you, we're doing it for us"
Did you get a response to this?
I deceided not to send it - next time she thanks us profusely, which will be PAssover, I'll respond more directly and in a non harsh tone
Oh, good. Glad you didnt' send it. It's just not worth it imo.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:10 PM |
| |
|
Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
You should thank her over and over again for making passover dinner...
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:11 PM |
| |
|
lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
|
Re: MIL related...and its long
I can completely understand where you are coming from. It's not her place to thank you - you didnt do anything for her - but she makes it about her by thanking you.....
However - I wouldnt send that response. It will just hurt her feelings and while what she is doing is so annoying, she will never get it. dont even bother.
|
| Posted 3/7/07 12:13 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
