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xosweetiexo
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/09 856 total posts
Name:
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MIL says we should wait?
If we get pregnant, we are going to be happy of course.... but it annoys me that my MIL says that we should wait. Its none of her business really. We get along very well, but I just dont like when she says that- it almost makes me feel like trying harder lol!!
Anyone else deal with this?
Message edited 1/4/2010 9:16:43 AM.
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Posted 1/4/10 9:09 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LKDRNW
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/09 481 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
I am in the SAME boat. My IL's just left and my stepMIL kept saying how dumb it would be if we got prego now to wait like 6-7 years - this was allllllll that I heard.
I finally broke down and cried - I couldn't take it anymore
It is none of their business - if you and DH are ready for a baby now, then it is the right time!!
I was going to make a special trip to see them once we got our BFP (they are OOT) but after her behavior - DH can tell them when I am in labor lol and I don't want to speak with her!!
Thank goodness for this board to be able to vent
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| Posted 1/4/10 9:26 AM |
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Ma-n-Pa2008
Mommy's Big Boy
Member since 3/09 2584 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
DH and I aren't actively trying yet, but I'm hoping to within the next few months. ILs say nothing about waiting b/c I don't think they even know we want to try soon and really say nothing when it comes to our future (kids, houses, etc).
On the other hand my mom is the one telling us we should wait and I understand her concerns and have questioned whether we should wait another year b/c we still live in an apartment and our finances aren't great, but I am definitely ready and don't want to wait much longer. Plus if we wait for finances to be in order, we'll be waiting forever!! LOL
so it's obviously your decision if you are ready and MIL will be/should be happy for you no matter what! 
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| Posted 1/4/10 9:50 AM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
If you are ready now then don't listen to anyone else's opinion. Do what is right for you an DH and forget about everyone else. They don't matter. Everyone is going to have a constant opinion... you just have to ignore it... unless you are seeking their advice... which clearly you are not.
And people's opinions don't end with the TTC part... they continue on when you get pregnant and I'm sure they will too after you have a baby and are raising kids. Just practice ignoring them now... and you'll be really good at is as it gets worse and worse!!
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| Posted 1/4/10 9:58 AM |
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Exarina
My Two Girls
Member since 12/09 1249 total posts
Name:
Lisa Marie
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
I think its insane to have ur MIL or even Mother tell you to wait on Chidlren...they are SICK in the head..
Do what you want! u can wait 5 years and then it could take u 5 years !!
MIL's suk
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:21 AM |
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kristin597
Mama!
Member since 8/08 1688 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
If you are ready now, then that's all that matters. Everyone will have an opinion on your ttc/pregnancy/child etc., some will even voice it. Ignore her and enjoy ttc!
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:23 AM |
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Dee0522
And then there were four...
Member since 6/09 2088 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Neither of our mothers has EVER mentioned anything to us about kids. It's so strange to me, b/c I am constantly hearing people say that all they do is get asked over and over again when the grandchildren are coming. We always think it's so weird that our moms never ask! We've been married almost 2 years, we're both 31, we have good jobs, we own our home... they couldn't possibly think we're not ready!
Sometimes my mom even makes comments about how she's not ready to be a grandmother. ??? It's not like she's "too young"... she's 62!
So while I would never want to be constantly asked about kids... I feel like a mention once in a while would be nice!
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:27 AM |
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MrsFein09
We are so in Love with you!!!
Member since 10/09 2470 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by MrsKS
If you are ready now then don't listen to anyone else's opinion. Do what is right for you an DH and forget about everyone else. They don't matter. Everyone is going to have a constant opinion... you just have to ignore it... unless you are seeking their advice... which clearly you are not.
And people's opinions don't end with the TTC part... they continue on when you get pregnant and I'm sure they will too after you have a baby and are raising kids. Just practice ignoring them now... and you'll be really good at is as it gets worse and worse!!
Well said Kerri!! I was going to say this exact same thing. Think about your wedding and how many opions there were for that. Just do what is right for you. Only you and DH know what is best.
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:28 AM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Everyone is going to have an opinion, and everyone is going to feel like it's their G-d-given right to express it to you. If you are emotionally and financially ready for a baby, go for it. Try and ignore the commentary from everyone else (though I know this is easier said than done).
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:33 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Sorry to crash, but after we got married everyone else would talk about how we should wait at least a year before getting pregnant. Even after having DS, people would say, 'yeah, you should wait a while for #2."
Turns out, after the first time getting pregnant, our mothers were both so happy and basically said they said 1 year bc they didn't want to put pressure on us, but REALLY wanted grandchildren right away.
After having DS, I had someone ask when we would try for #2, and I said 'not for a while." Just in case we didn't get pregnant when we did. My mom said to that person, "I'm glad you asked and not me because I'll take grandchildren anytime!"
So it just turns out that they were just not trying to increase the pressure on us.
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:52 AM |
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HolyBabyFever09
LIF Infant
Member since 1/10 260 total posts
Name:
Shhh, Its a secret!
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by Exarina
Do what you want! u can wait 5 years and then it could take u 5 years !!
MIL's suk
This is very true! I know some people think we should wait but it could take us a long time to get pg, especially because Im just coming off of bcp after 10 years.
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| Posted 1/4/10 10:56 AM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
My Dad wanted us to wait for a while, but now he's one of the people pushing the most for us to have a baby. Don't let your MIL get you down. If you are ready for a baby and both of you want to have a child, then go for it. It's yours and your DHs life and she needs to respect that. Once that baby is here, she'll be just as excited as you!
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| Posted 1/4/10 11:05 AM |
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LightUpMyLife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/10 804 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
It is nobodies decision but yours and your Dhs. Tell DH to have her shut her trap.
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| Posted 1/4/10 12:02 PM |
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Harlow-J
Mason's mommy!
Member since 12/09 3623 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by MrsKS
If you are ready now then don't listen to anyone else's opinion. Do what is right for you an DH and forget about everyone else. They don't matter. Everyone is going to have a constant opinion... you just have to ignore it... unless you are seeking their advice... which clearly you are not.
And people's opinions don't end with the TTC part... they continue on when you get pregnant and I'm sure they will too after you have a baby and are raising kids. Just practice ignoring them now... and you'll be really good at is as it gets worse and worse!!
ITA!
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| Posted 1/4/10 12:29 PM |
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mrsSandsohappy
LIF Infant
Member since 6/09 130 total posts
Name:
Jeanette
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Me too!! People can be so annoying with their opinions!! Dont listen to them! I have the opposite, If it were up to my MIL I would have had a baby before we even got married! She kept saying come on, you dont need to be married, and I would say but I want to be  Its cute that shes so excited but come on, when Im ready I will have a baby, and when your ready you will, no matter what anyone else says or thinks!!
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| Posted 1/4/10 1:16 PM |
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AMPirate
Missing our peanut :(
Member since 11/09 1678 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Don't mind what she had to say! Everyone puts their two cents in where it really doesn't belong. Only you and your DH know when the time is right for you.
My MIL is going to FREAK OUT when we finally get pregnant and tell her. She still looks at her son as a baby and thinks he's too young to be married 
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| Posted 1/4/10 1:28 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by mrsSandsohappy
Me too!! People can be so annoying with their opinions!! Dont listen to them! I have the opposite, If it were up to my MIL I would have had a baby before we even got married! She kept saying come on, you dont need to be married, and I would say but I want to be Its cute that shes so excited but come on, when Im ready I will have a baby, and when your ready you will, no matter what anyone else says or thinks!!
WOW that's crazy surprising!! Usually it's the opposite!
I had a coworker who would tell me to get pregnant during the entire time I was planning the wedding. She would annoy the crap out of me about me getting preggers before we got married. Really coworker... what is it to you? what the heck do you care? Get a life!!! haha!! Finally I told her that if I got pregnant before we got married, the baby wouldn't make it full term because we wouldn't go through with it!! haha!! That wasn't technically true...but it sure did scare her enough to back off. She stopped mentioning it to me after that! Success!!!
People are just rude sometimes. And annoying others!! haha!!
Message edited 1/4/2010 1:59:52 PM.
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| Posted 1/4/10 1:58 PM |
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MillerTime424
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/09 737 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
we are in the same boat, both parents are telling us to wait, that is not time. We aren't trying and we aren't preventing either...sooo who the heck knows...but i would like to wait at least another year or so.
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| Posted 1/4/10 2:54 PM |
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mrsSandsohappy
LIF Infant
Member since 6/09 130 total posts
Name:
Jeanette
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by MrsKS
Posted by mrsSandsohappy
Me too!! People can be so annoying with their opinions!! Dont listen to them! I have the opposite, If it were up to my MIL I would have had a baby before we even got married! She kept saying come on, you dont need to be married, and I would say but I want to be Its cute that shes so excited but come on, when Im ready I will have a baby, and when your ready you will, no matter what anyone else says or thinks!!
WOW that's crazy surprising!! Usually it's the opposite!
I had a coworker who would tell me to get pregnant during the entire time I was planning the wedding. She would annoy the crap out of me about me getting preggers before we got married. Really coworker... what is it to you? what the heck do you care? Get a life!!! haha!! Finally I told her that if I got pregnant before we got married, the baby wouldn't make it full term because we wouldn't go through with it!! haha!! That wasn't technically true...but it sure did scare her enough to back off. She stopped mentioning it to me after that! Success!!!
People are just rude sometimes. And annoying others!! haha!!
I know it is crazy right!! It was so surprising to me because me and my family are not like that at all. I mean if it happened it happened but I def didnt want to plan it that way! My MIL is crazy, but I love her!!
And to have a coworker do that, Oh Boy that would be super annoying, so glad you got her to stop
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| Posted 1/4/10 3:42 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by mrsSandsohappy
Posted by MrsKS
Posted by mrsSandsohappy
Me too!! People can be so annoying with their opinions!! Dont listen to them! I have the opposite, If it were up to my MIL I would have had a baby before we even got married! She kept saying come on, you dont need to be married, and I would say but I want to be Its cute that shes so excited but come on, when Im ready I will have a baby, and when your ready you will, no matter what anyone else says or thinks!!
WOW that's crazy surprising!! Usually it's the opposite!
I had a coworker who would tell me to get pregnant during the entire time I was planning the wedding. She would annoy the crap out of me about me getting preggers before we got married. Really coworker... what is it to you? what the heck do you care? Get a life!!! haha!! Finally I told her that if I got pregnant before we got married, the baby wouldn't make it full term because we wouldn't go through with it!! haha!! That wasn't technically true...but it sure did scare her enough to back off. She stopped mentioning it to me after that! Success!!!
People are just rude sometimes. And annoying others!! haha!!
I know it is crazy right!! It was so surprising to me because me and my family are not like that at all. I mean if it happened it happened but I def didnt want to plan it that way! My MIL is crazy, but I love her!!
And to have a coworker do that, Oh Boy that would be super annoying, so glad you got her to stop
Now that I think of it I had a cousin that would jokingly tell me to have kids before the wedding because "it was more fun that way". She had 2 kids from 2 different fathers, and she wasn't married for either one of them. I think she was more making fun of herself! haha!!
I think I really shocked her by saying that and I'm pretty sure she was against what I said... so she really backed off. She is the type of person who things she does things the correct way no matter what is it and if you don't agree with her then you are wrong. I tend to ignore her an awful lot. She's foolish!!
At least you know your MIL DEF wants you guys to have kids!!!! 
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| Posted 1/4/10 3:51 PM |
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mrsSandsohappy
LIF Infant
Member since 6/09 130 total posts
Name:
Jeanette
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by MrsKS
Posted by mrsSandsohappy
Posted by MrsKS
Posted by mrsSandsohappy
Me too!! People can be so annoying with their opinions!! Dont listen to them! I have the opposite, If it were up to my MIL I would have had a baby before we even got married! She kept saying come on, you dont need to be married, and I would say but I want to be Its cute that shes so excited but come on, when Im ready I will have a baby, and when your ready you will, no matter what anyone else says or thinks!!
WOW that's crazy surprising!! Usually it's the opposite!
I had a coworker who would tell me to get pregnant during the entire time I was planning the wedding. She would annoy the crap out of me about me getting preggers before we got married. Really coworker... what is it to you? what the heck do you care? Get a life!!! haha!! Finally I told her that if I got pregnant before we got married, the baby wouldn't make it full term because we wouldn't go through with it!! haha!! That wasn't technically true...but it sure did scare her enough to back off. She stopped mentioning it to me after that! Success!!!
People are just rude sometimes. And annoying others!! haha!!
I know it is crazy right!! It was so surprising to me because me and my family are not like that at all. I mean if it happened it happened but I def didnt want to plan it that way! My MIL is crazy, but I love her!!
And to have a coworker do that, Oh Boy that would be super annoying, so glad you got her to stop
Now that I think of it I had a cousin that would jokingly tell me to have kids before the wedding because "it was more fun that way". She had 2 kids from 2 different fathers, and she wasn't married for either one of them. I think she was more making fun of herself! haha!!
I think I really shocked her by saying that and I'm pretty sure she was against what I said... so she really backed off. She is the type of person who things she does things the correct way no matter what is it and if you don't agree with her then you are wrong. I tend to ignore her an awful lot. She's foolish!!
At least you know your MIL DEF wants you guys to have kids!!!!
yes if nothing else that im certain of!!! She even said last night when I went to help my DH pick up a tv, that I shouldnt lift anything cause I could be caring her grandchild shes so funny!!
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| Posted 1/4/10 4:29 PM |
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wannabemomma
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 348 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
I hate MILs and their darn opinions! You can shrug it off as much as you can, but I know you get to a point that you just can't take it!!!!
Don't they understand it's YOUR decision with your DH!!!!!???
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| Posted 1/4/10 4:40 PM |
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wants2bamom
Praying For A Miracle
Member since 10/09 1652 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by MrsKS
If you are ready now then don't listen to anyone else's opinion. Do what is right for you an DH and forget about everyone else. They don't matter. Everyone is going to have a constant opinion... you just have to ignore it... unless you are seeking their advice... which clearly you are not.
And people's opinions don't end with the TTC part... they continue on when you get pregnant and I'm sure they will too after you have a baby and are raising kids. Just practice ignoring them now... and you'll be really good at is as it gets worse and worse!!
ITA!!!!! Theyll always have something to say!
Message edited 1/4/2010 4:58:26 PM.
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| Posted 1/4/10 4:56 PM |
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seasaw
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/09 648 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
yup!
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| Posted 1/4/10 5:00 PM |
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xosweetiexo
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/09 856 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL says we should wait?
Posted by MrsKS
If you are ready now then don't listen to anyone else's opinion. Do what is right for you an DH and forget about everyone else. They don't matter. Everyone is going to have a constant opinion... you just have to ignore it... unless you are seeking their advice... which clearly you are not.
And people's opinions don't end with the TTC part... they continue on when you get pregnant and I'm sure they will too after you have a baby and are raising kids. Just practice ignoring them now... and you'll be really good at is as it gets worse and worse!!
Thank you Kerri, you always know what to say
Thank you everyone for your opinions and you are totally right!
For the wedding, ALL of the decisions were OUR decisions and when someone wanted to say something about what we were doing- we quickly told them it was our wedding.
I dont know why this is bothering me so much... I guess its because I would want her to be happy for us if I do end up getting pregnant...but in my heart I feel like if I were pregnant tomorrow- she would probably be like "thats nice... but do you think its the right time" or some stupid comment like that. My parents cant wait for us to have children and keep reminding me that Im only getting older and I dont want to be one of those old and gray parents when our children graduate high school lol!
My MIL said something to his aunt and then when we saw her, she made a comment just like MIL so I knew they were talking about us. Its really none of their business, but I guess I would just want approval and I wouldnt want to feel like they are trying to burst our bubble and make us feel horrible about something so wonderful.
If I got pregnant tomorrow (lets just say).. I would want to tell my parents right away...but his family- I would almost want to wait because God forbid I have a MC and then I would probably hear "its for the best and that we arent ready" or some BS like because that would probably drive me over the wall.
Sorry for rambling...its just really bothering me because it would be amazing if I could get pregnant soon and I dont hear negativity from DH's family.
Thank you everyone for making me feel like Im not alone
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| Posted 1/4/10 6:23 PM |
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