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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by shaleywhale
For what it's worth--if that mom from the aisle is out there and reading this by chance--my DD is now 13 and consistently on the high honor roll. She is a competitive swimmer. She is an amazing photographer. She is one of the kindest, most loyal, well-mannered and giving teenagers you will ever meet. If that's what this "poison" does... well, I guess I made a huge mistake.
I would like to add as well my "poison" fed daughter is NEVER sick. When coxsackie was running rampant in her day care she never got it, she never gets a stomach bug, never gets the flu, hasn't been sick ONCE this winter and this has been a a bad one. She has the immunity of a horse.
She walked at 9 months old. She hit every single milestone early. She's smart as a whip at 8 years old now.
So yeah, I'll take that kind of poison any day. I'd do it again and again and again if I had more kids.
Maybe she is on these boards?! Who knows! I would have told her the same thing! I didn’t get to BF my kids right away due to NICU time and I didn’t get to see them until about 11 hours after they were born. I tried pumping all the time and it was just too much mentally with 2. I gave my kids formula most of their life! They are smart cookies, both have been sick quite a bit but I don’t think it has anything to do with giving them formula and if I had another kid I wouldn’t have an issue with formula!
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Posted 5/21/18 8:50 AM  |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Mom shaming at its finest....
I swear if I weren't on these boards I don't think I'd fully understand what assholes people can be. It floors me time and again. Hopefully that mom is able to let it go bc obviously that person is no one to give a second thought to. I definitely think motherhood has taught me not to give a crap about what others think of me.
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| Posted 5/21/18 8:58 AM |
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Mmm777
LIF Infant
Member since 2/13 330 total posts
Name:
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Mom shaming at its finest....
There is too much pressure on moms to breast feed.
It’s ridiculous, everyone does their best and that should be enough
Ohhh Walmart - I had someone tell me did I know that my child had no shoes on ( autistic , removes coats , shoes all the time, I am thankful he leaves the clothes on when we are outside at least.
I am so scared I actually take everything with me to each store , so no nut case will call the cops on me ...
not only did I have very less milk because of PCOS , I also had post partum depression which made me quite miserable after child birth
Of course they were mostly on formula.
I actually tried to BF with no m8lk for more than 24 hours, my baby had no urine and lost weight , had to be given formula
It’s ridiculous, if not for the insane pressure I would have given it much earlier
I just feel no one has the right to judge another unless you have walked in their shoes, don’t run off your mouth
Makes me angrrrry
Message edited 5/21/2018 9:33:01 AM.
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| Posted 5/21/18 9:28 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Mom shaming at its finest....
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
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| Posted 5/21/18 9:55 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
Call CPS
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| Posted 5/21/18 9:57 AM |
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Eunyboo
<3
Member since 7/12 4376 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
Call CPS
Are you more likely to have PPD with breastfeeding? I never had a child and am genuinely curious.
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| Posted 5/21/18 12:13 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by Eunyboo
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
Call CPS
Are you more likely to have PPD with breastfeeding? I never had a child and am genuinely curious.
No, what I meant was, some women say, well I didn't breastfeed because I had PPD and I was just so down and depressed I couldn't handle the stress of it.
Like they need to make an excuse.
I don't think there is any correlation between the two, but I'm no expert.
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| Posted 5/21/18 12:16 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Mom shaming at its finest....
Double Post
Message edited 5/21/2018 12:21:45 PM.
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| Posted 5/21/18 12:21 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Mom shaming at its finest....
I never will understand why people care how other people choose to feed their children. Having a baby is a lot of work - who has the energy to worry if some random person at Target is using formula.
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| Posted 5/21/18 12:21 PM |
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amac27
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/09 471 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by Eunyboo
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
There are mixed thoughts on this. Some women get a condition called D-Mer, in which breastfeeding can cause anxiety/ anger. Also, breastfeeding can be really difficult due to supply/latch issues so that can cause depression. Some studies though say that prolonged breastfeeding can decrease your chances of PPD.
For what it is worth, I had horrible PPD and I completely believe that it was due to breastfeeding and feeling trapped because my DS refused a bottle. I am currently 8 months pregnant and while I do plan on breastfeeding, I won't put so much pressure on myself this time. If I feel like it is making me crazy again, then I am 100% ok with formula.
Call CPS
Are you more likely to have PPD with breastfeeding? I never had a child and am genuinely curious.
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| Posted 5/21/18 12:29 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Eunyboo
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
Call CPS
Are you more likely to have PPD with breastfeeding? I never had a child and am genuinely curious.
No, what I meant was, some women say, well I didn't breastfeed because I had PPD and I was just so down and depressed I couldn't handle the stress of it.
Like they need to make an excuse.
I don't think there is any correlation between the two, but I'm no expert.
I’m fairly certain I had some PPD. I was a disaster. I look back on having a newborn even now and feel physically ill. It’s part of why I’m one and done. But that’s not why I didn’t breastfeed. I didn’t breastfeed because I didn’t want to.
I’ve never researched the correlation between PPD and feeding method. I’m sure studies have been done but the problem is much would be self reported and with the vilification of formula use, you’d be unlikely to get a valid answer. Add to that the stigma of PPD and you’re not getting any data of any value from anyone.
It’s a damn shame, too, because as long as we keep demonizing mothers for their feelings and choices, we all suffer.
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| Posted 5/21/18 2:20 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
There is something wrong with someone who feels compelled to share that.
I am pretty sure there is something wrong with someone who genuinely believes that as well.
Do these same people go around yelling at drunk drivers? Or advocating for their imprisonment?
Insufferable hypocrites with a need to talk down/think down on someone.
Their children probably suffer more than anyone.
Message edited 5/21/2018 3:14:51 PM.
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| Posted 5/21/18 3:14 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
Call CPS
Same here!!! I just didn't want to do it. Plain as that.
I may have considered it a bit longer, if pro breast feeding snarks weren't always knocking formula and making people who chose it feel like they were committing a crime. They completely turned me off to it. FED is best, simple as that.
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| Posted 5/22/18 9:58 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
And what if you adopted? You're doing this amazing thing for this newborn child, and then to be scolded by a random stranger, solely because they didn't know that you didn't birth the child yourself, so you can't produce milk?
Scolding a mom for taking care of their child in a positive, loving, and very responsible way, but not how a stranger wants you to, is beyond reprehensible.... 
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| Posted 5/22/18 10:39 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
The more I think about this, the more I hope that asshole says something to the wrong person just ONCE and gets her ass kicked.
Like someone just beats the shit out of her.
Maybe she'll learn.
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| Posted 5/22/18 10:41 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by NervousNell
The more I think about this, the more I hope that asshole says something to the wrong person just ONCE and gets her ass kicked.
Like someone just beats the shit out of her.
Maybe she'll learn.
She'll probably complain that you're beating her wrong. "You shouldn't use your fist, you might hurt your wrist. You really should use some type of weapon, or at least a stick... You're voluntarily putting yourself at risk."
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| Posted 5/22/18 11:24 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by NervousNell
The more I think about this, the more I hope that asshole says something to the wrong person just ONCE and gets her ass kicked.
Like someone just beats the shit out of her.
Maybe she'll learn.
She'll probably complain that you're beating her wrong. "You shouldn't use your fist, you might hurt your wrist. You really should use some type of weapon, or at least a stick... You're voluntarily putting yourself at risk."
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| Posted 5/22/18 11:27 AM |
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Mombear2010
LIF Infant
Member since 4/17 56 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by BriBri2u
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
Call CPS
Same here!!! I just didn't want to do it. Plain as that.
I may have considered it a bit longer, if pro breast feeding snarks weren't always knocking formula and making people who chose it feel like they were committing a crime. They completely turned me off to it. FED is best, simple as that.
Same here. The amount of shaming I received for formula feeding was unbelievable. The pressure from nurses alone in the hospital turned me off for good.
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| Posted 5/22/18 12:33 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by Mombear2010
Posted by BriBri2u
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
Call CPS
Same here!!! I just didn't want to do it. Plain as that.
I may have considered it a bit longer, if pro breast feeding snarks weren't always knocking formula and making people who chose it feel like they were committing a crime. They completely turned me off to it. FED is best, simple as that.
Same here. The amount of shaming I received for formula feeding was unbelievable. The pressure from nurses alone in the hospital turned me off for good.
It's funny you say this, and I have heard this from so many people but I got ZERO shaming at all.
Maybe it's because people who know me know I take ZERO shit and would rip them apart for even TRYING to, and maybe it's because I have a resting bitchh face and give off a very nasty vibe to strangers, but even the nurses in the hospital said not word ONE to me.
They asked while I was in labor if I planned to breastfeed. I said NOPE! Very decisively. They checked it off on my chart and that was that.
Not one person the whole time I was there ever said word one about it after that. They just brought me formula bottles.
I was kind of hoping they would start with me- because I love a good fight and it would have been hysterical and I couldn't WAIT to give them a piece of my mind on the matter, - but nada.
Message edited 5/22/2018 12:43:47 PM.
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| Posted 5/22/18 12:41 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Mom shaming at its finest....
Moron.
I BF and people gave me shi** for that. How many times I heard "Why not just give formula?" "The baby will sleep better if you would give formula." "You shouldn't eat that if your Bfing." Blah, Blah, Blah.
You can't win!!! And you certainly can't take it personally. People are generally idiots. Be confident in your choice.
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| Posted 5/22/18 12:52 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by Eunyboo
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I love how the defense for formula is always “maybe she couldn’t.”
It doesn’t matter why anyone uses formula. It’s no one’s business. It is a perfectly healthy way to feed your child.
Thank you.
Wanna know why I didn't breastfeed?
Because I DIDN'T WANT TO.
No PPD, no supply issues, no PCOS, no latch issues, no flat nipples, no deadly disease.
I didn't want to. Never had. Never once had the thought even remotely crossed my mind.
Call CPS
Are you more likely to have PPD with breastfeeding? I never had a child and am genuinely curious.
There can be many factors/circumstances that can cause ppd. Having said that bfeeding can possibly make it less likely for a mother to go through it or have it less severe.
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| Posted 5/22/18 1:47 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by bunnyluck
Moron.
I BF and people gave me shi** for that. How many times I heard "Why not just give formula?" "The baby will sleep better if you would give formula." "You shouldn't eat that if your Bfing." Blah, Blah, Blah.
You can't win!!! And you certainly can't take it personally. People are generally idiots. Be confident in your choice.
I so agree with u! I formula fed ds1 and bfed ds2 and heard those kind of comments and worse (even from some family members) for both type of feedings. As a mom, I’ve realized that this saying by Maya Angelou has such a strong meaning in so many different phases in our lives, motherhood included...”do the best u can til u know better, then when u know better, do better”...whatever that better means to u and to ur own personal values.
Message edited 5/22/2018 2:06:18 PM.
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| Posted 5/22/18 2:04 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by bunnyluck
Moron.
I BF and people gave me shi** for that. How many times I heard "Why not just give formula?" "The baby will sleep better if you would give formula." "You shouldn't eat that if your Bfing." Blah, Blah, Blah.
You can't win!!! And you certainly can't take it personally. People are generally idiots. Be confident in your choice.
OMG same here. My in-laws say the exact same things to me. I get so much sh*t for BFing, it's not even funny. DH's whole family treats me like I am some kind of pervert for BFing. They all formula fed their kids, they don't understand why anyone would BF. When we visit them and I have to feed my infant, I'm told to sit in a room on the other side of the house all alone. It's like I'm in time-out lol. If they have to walk by the room while I'm in there, they loudly announce "sorry, I'm not looking". Like even if they did look, they wouldn't see anything. God forbid they see some boob skin. It's so weird.
My infant feeds on demand and some days he wants to nurse every hour. When I'm visiting my in-laws it upsets me that I have to sit in a room all alone for hours. At my family's house, I don't even use a cover, I just use my scarf or a wrap to cover the tiny bit that might show.
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| Posted 5/23/18 11:43 AM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by NervousNell
Broke out in tears? I would have punched that fuking bitchh in the throat. It would have been a bad scene and store security would have probably had to get involved. I would have also told her my thoughts on breastfeeding which I normally keepto myself because they aren't popular.
That's the issue ..you can't let a bully get to you.
Women need to stand up for themselves.
I should start giving lessons on how to be a bitchh. I can hold a master class
I'm usually the same exact way. I don't even take offense to the C word anymore lol. I take great pride in being a bitchh. Lately, I'm sleep-deprived and hormonal though.. so it's a different story. DH called me soft the other day cause I cried during an argument... something I would NEVER do. I'm sure the woman the OP posted about is just dealing with a lot. Young kids, hormones and no sleep is a terrible combination. It's hard to stand up for yourself when you're already dealing with so much. It's great someone stood up for her.
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| Posted 5/23/18 11:51 AM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shaming at its finest....
Posted by NervousNell
Broke out in tears? I would have punched that fuking bitchh in the throat. It would have been a bad scene and store security would have probably had to get involved. I would have also told her my thoughts on breastfeeding which I normally keepto myself because they aren't popular.
That's the issue ..you can't let a bully get to you.
Women need to stand up for themselves.
I should start giving lessons on how to be a bitchh. I can hold a master class
ETA I also formula fed because I did not have any desire to breast feed. I didn't give a rat's ass what other people thought. I remember at work some woman asked me if I was nursing (as if that was any of her business anyway) and I told her no and she gave me a look. Who cares as long as the kid is getting fed?
Message edited 5/24/2018 1:34:56 PM.
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| Posted 5/24/18 1:32 PM |
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