Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

DH really wants another

Now, if I got pregnant now, Christopher would be a bit under 3.5 when the new baby would born....

Since there is a solid chance that I will have hyperemisis again, maybe this age difference would be ok?

Tell me what it is like with this age difference....

TIA

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

maybe you outgrew it?

i wish i had advice for you. since your DH works nights, can he help at all with C3 if it is really bad? or do you have family that can help on horrible days? maybe you can send him to Montauk for 8 months

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

I have no real advice.

But, is there anyway you can get a babysitter or use daycare for DS when/if it gets bad? I know it's expensive but if you can't need to you need to...

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

I have no advice either, but I'm inclined to think dealing with that kind of sickness with a 3.5 year old at home would be easier than dealing with a much younger child at home.

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

My son was 3.5 when my dd was born. I really wanted them closer together, but because of miscarriages and infertility that was not happening.

I LOVE having this age gap. My 5 yr old ds now plays with my 2 yr old dd (when his friends are not around) and they get along great (when they are not trying to kill each other) lol. Seriously my 5 yr old is so helpful and independent that it makes life much easier. Even car trips are easier because he can help her in her seat, pick up her toys, comfort her. He gets rewarded for "babysitting" which means watching the baby while I'm in the bathroom or something. I would not have it any other way now.

When dd was first born it was such a hard adjustment and he really didn't want her. But honestly, now he really loves her. He has asked for a new baby as well. But he wants a boy!

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

DC are exactly 3 years apart (both b-days are in May). Ever since DD was born, they have been the best of friends (99% of the time, anyway... ). DS loves teaching his little sister, and DD looks up to her older brother.

It makes passing things down easier. DS is usually done with something by the time DD needs to use it, but it's not so old that it needs to be discarded.

By the time DD was able to walk comfortably on her own, DS was old enough to listen, and not run off if DD decided to.

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

that's the exact age of mine.

this pregnancy has been hard. i won't be doing it again.

it was ms for the 13 weeks...but the migranes are a killer. i cry and cry. i am no where near the mom i use to be.

thankfully he is so independent. and dh has been taking him out in the mornings before he goes to work.

i am no where near as sick as you get...but i can trust him to come into my room with me, watch his shows, play with his toys while i nap. i just tell him wake me up before he goes to bathroom or leaves room.

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

I can totally relate. Thats why we waited till DS was 2 to start trying.The two of them will be 2.8 years apart (we wanted them 2.5 years apart or more). My pregnancy with my DS was so rough, I was so scared to go through it again and this time with a toddler...well sure enough my m/s was worse this time around...thank god for zolfran!! I dont want to scare you
but I agree that 3.5 years is great age difference in case you experience it again. Because we waited till my DS was this age, he is more independent so its not as bad as I thought it was going to be. good luck with your decision

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

Ours will be appx. 3.5 years apart I want one to be out of diapers...I think it makes a HUGE difference.

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

My first two are 2.5 years apart and then 3.5 years between DS2 and DD. The 3.5 years has been easier, hands down. It could be the differences in personality or the fact that DS2 was never an "only" for any period of time, but he handled it great at this age. He is also fairly self sufficient so that makes things easier as well.

I hope you don't get hyperemesis again.

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

Ava was 3 1/2 when I got pg with Brody. I was sick when pg with her, but even sicker the 2nd time.

I couldn't leave the couch for 4 months. My DH had to step up big time and my Mom helped all the time too. I could barley stand long enough to shower.

I couldn't cook or bathe Ava because any scent would set me off.

I just had to let go and let everyone else do what I would normally do. There was a lot of guilt, but then again the Mommy guilt never ends.

Needless to say, we made it! Brody is my sweet baby boy Angel!!!!

Would I ever do it again?????? He#% No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Message edited 10/14/2009 11:21:59 AM.

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

Anthony was a year when I got pg and it was HARD since I also had hypermisis.

IF I would of gotten pg now with him being 3 years old, It would of been a breeze!!!!

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

When do you plan to put C in school? That may help a lot. Not only will he be more independent but you would have some "rest" time if he goes to preschool FT.

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

There is exactly 3.5 years between John & Joey. Honestly in the beginning of my pregnancy it was a bit hard because I did have bad m/s. Once I was over it, it was fine. Once Joey was born John kicked it high gear into his big brother role, he helps me a lot. He is also at that age where I didnt have to be on top of him 24/7, where he was able to play by himself for awhile when I tended to Joey.

Now when baby 3 gets here, thats gonna be a whole new story

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

That is the age gap I am planning on for my children (I am currently pg with my first)

My sister and I are 4 years apart. Growing up we had our own groups of friends (many of our friends were siblings though), but we got along well enough that we would play with eachother if no one else was around.

Now that we are older- 4 years really isn't much of a difference and we are best friends.

I have no personal childbearing experience for you- but figured I'd share anyhow

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

I can't comment on taking care of a child while having MS-- I was lucky and was barely queasy for either pg I had. But I do have a 3 yr age difference between my kids and I LOVE IT.

My DS was potty trained a couple months before DD was born. We had no regression in potty training or anything, he adjusted beautifully to his baby sister and eight months later still is very sweet with her. He loves to "help" me by fetching diapers, wipes, getting out the puffs container, etc. He's always trying to "teach" her things, lol. Like everyone said, 3 is also an age where they can play independently for a bit while you tend to the baby, so there is less feeling like you're neglecting the needs of the older child.

Now my DS goes to nursery school 3 mornings a week, and as luck would have it, DD naps for an hour to an hour and a half of that time. So that's some much needed downtime for me, or time to run around the houes and plow through some chores (I am a SAHM). Every family is different, but for us, the age difference was just perfect.

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

Re: Mommies of kids 3+ years apart, talk to me..

Alex was a smidge under 4 when Yael was born - all our friends and acquaintances scared the crap out of me telling me it would be a million times harder with 2... and you know what? It's TOTALLY NOT. In fact, it's SOOOO much easier than I fathomed or imagined.

Alex is at the age where she's so independent - she plays by herself, she puts her clothes on in the morning, brushes her teeth, puts on her PJ's at night. All I have to do is get her meals together and schoolbag ready, and of course, dedicate some time to playing with her, but it's not all that hard to do when Yael is napping, and even if she isn't napping, I wrap her up in my Moby, and she's fine, while I read to, or play with Alex.

I initially wanted my kids closer in age, but infertility changed that - but in the end, I'm so thrilled with how it worked out. Yael made a seamless transition into our family - it feels like she's always been here - never fear, it's working out just beautifully