Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

I'm at the point where I'm getting worried about Maddie.

She has no memory. It's like every day is a new day.

Her birthday was 2 weeks ago. We had a party with my MIL & a party this past Saturday with all of her classmates. We've repeatedly told her that she's 4. She still doesn't know how old she is.

At the dinner table DH was getting her to sing a song & I said "How about practicing our phone number? She doesn't know it yet." Then he gave me a look & I mouthed the words "Ask her old she is?" She sat there guessing..."50? 18? 5? 45?" for a good five minutes. We prompted her, reminded her of her birthday party..nothing.

I don't think it's a comparison issue between her & Joe as everyone has tried to chalk this up to be. I know Joseph has a better than average memory.

Shouldn't a 3 year old know how old she is? All last year, she could not remember she was 3. Isn't a birthday a major event? Joseph was focusing on being 3 & a half for six months. Does the average three year old remember things? She doesn't even recognize all of her letters or numbers!

I'm thinking in the fall, it's time to get her evaluated.

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

Barb -

Do you have any pics of her bday party? Maybe a pic with a #4 candle on it? She may need to refer to a visual for a little while... maybe keep it on the fridge and use it for her to look at while asking her how old she is...

Or - make a book with her with the pics from her party - title it "Maddie is four!!!"

Each page, have a different pic - show it to her 1st, have her say who is in the pic - then glue it and write down - Me and Grandma at my bday party where I turned 4!

Message edited 6/28/2007 8:04:59 PM.

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

We'll reinforce the 4 year old thing but I'm worried more that she doesn't remember things very well.

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

I know if a lot of kids who are fine who need a little jogging of memory - not to say you still shouldnt check it out if you are concerned, but anything you need her to remember - phone number, address, etc - make it visual - maybe cut out colorful numbers and make a phone number pic, use magnetic numbers - make it like a game....

Make everything visual that you can think of and incorporate it into your day - you may see her remember things a bit quicker....

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

I'd really start to focus storytime on recalling things. When you're done reading a page, then ask her something about it. It might not be her memory that needs help, but her comprehension, in which case, that can only help.
I'm obviously not a BTDT mom of a 3-4 year old, but that's my advice as a teacher. It's the best I can do!

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

Has her teacher ever said anything?

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

my stepdaughter is this way too.. it's really frustrating. some three year olds just don't have the memory and i don't THINK you have to worry until after 5.. but it doesn't hurt to have her evaluated.

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

Thank you for your help & advice.

You're right it may be a visual thing too. We played concentration when she was 3 & she was able to recall where cards where.

I forgot about the different methods of remembering. DH remembers on surroundings. I remember on visual too.

I know the comprehension isn't there. She still confuses brothers & sisters.

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

Not to make light of your situation...but someone asked me how old I was yesterday...and I seriouslly had to think about it and figure it out. I couldn't remember that I'm 33

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

Hi Barbara, Don't worry. My cousins son was the same way. He is now 8 and has completely grown out of it.

It may be that some topics she is really not interested in. I bet that she can name all of her favorite cartoon character or all of her day care friends. Numbers don't really mean a lot at this age.

Ava is almost three, and most of the time she says "3" when you ask her how old she is. Other times she says "37" (like Dh) or "62" (my Mom)..

When I used to teach a million years ago, we used songs to get the little ones to remember importnat things..

Just think-We sing the alphabet, that whole "Thirty days have September,April June and November..." another song...

I wouldn't stress, ask her teacher and the Ped. Maybe try memory games with her like those matching cards.

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

Posted by luvsun27



Not to make light of your situation...but someone asked me how old I was yesterday...and I seriouslly had to think about it and figure it out. I couldn't remember that I'm 33

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

Posted by luvsun27



Not to make light of your situation...but someone asked me how old I was yesterday...and I seriouslly had to think about it and figure it out. I couldn't remember that I'm 33

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

Not sure if this makes a difference, but does she attend nursery school? My son is going to be four at the end of August. He knows his address, phone number, all letters, counts to about 40, writes his name,knows every major road we travel, and has many memories of things that surprise me. I think his schooling helps alot. I am not saying this to alarm you. But however, if I were concerned, I would do an early intervention eval before the fall. Also have you discussed these things with your PED? I would write a list of all the concerns and make an appt to discuss them.There is such a large scale of when children reach certain levels. So I would not worry too much.

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

I don't know if I can answer your question because I think that Aidan may be more like Joseph in the memory dept. He could answer the age questions when he was 2, and even 2 1/2. He can remember that my niece is 4 and that she is his cousin, even though they are more like brother and sister.

So at 3 he has a very good memory, but I don't think thats average.

But I still beleive that children can master a few things at a time, for example Maddie may not be interested in her age but she has been potty trained for wuite some time. Aidan is so far away from ditching diapers/pull ups its not funny. Very inconsistent.

If there is any concern, an eval can put your mind at ease.

Have her day care teachers mentioned anything? It was one of my nieces teachers who mentioned something to my SIL that got them to consider EI.

Message edited 6/29/2007 1:48:41 AM.

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

I wouldn't worry just yet - she's still young, and it really could just be a function of what she's interested in, or just that she learns visually.

I would talk to your pediatrician and talk to her teacher just to get it out in the open so everyone is aware, and attentive to it. To give you a little reassurance, this was one of my learning disabilities - I had a very difficult time with short term memory when I was "told" information - I could retain it if I "saw" it, or "read" it, but couldn't retain anything that I heard. And, I had serious problems with understanding, and remembering, sequential items, like, days of the week, my age, time of the day, etc. To compensate, I worked with an educational specialist every day for an hour - I remember playing the game Memory OVER AND OVER again, for like 3 years straight

With that said, these kind of issues are easily identifiable, and can easily be dealt with, so try not to worry. Just be alert, and talk to your ped and her teacher

Re: Moms of 3-4 year olds - I have a question

I can't tell you how old I was but I know when i was a kid I had to see a tutor type person (or specialist?) on saturdays at cw post for a while cause I had nooooo memory. I was told that I would listen to a story on headphones about a pink elephant but would not be able to tell you what color the elephant was at the end of the story. I think it was especially hard for me because I wasn't looking at a book or pictures...I just had to listen.

I needed to be taught how to focus and really listen. And it worked.

Not sure how good a 3 or 4 year old's memory is supposed to be but if she did need some extra help in that area there are people out there that can help.