Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

How do you not "spoil" your child?

I feel like Cailen is turning into a little spoiled brat (I can say it, I'm his mom!)

He responds to no when I say it (he even jumps and stops what he's doing, but then he does it again because now he thinks it MUST be good if I'm saying "no"

I give him time outs, but very short because he's mr. short term memory at this age....

But, its just this little attitude of his - he has this bratty little scream when he wants something as if he is entitled to it. I don't give in, but then he has these tantrums... I know its the age, but if anyone can share with me how they have prevented their kid from being a brat, let me know.

Or, let someone who can make you a millionaire with that knowledge know!

Message edited 5/3/2008 7:22:31 AM.

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

It's simple.

I ignore her when she behaves like this, and trust me, she started at about 12 months or so.

At the earlier ages, I couldn't give her a timeout, but if she started with the tantrums or the whining/screaming. I would still tell her, at eye level, that we don't talk/act like that, and that I won't be able to help her until she calms down and talks nicely, and then I would walk away for a minute or two.

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Ugh I am going through the exact same thing... she has become my little leach... and she screams and cries if she doesnt get what she wants, or if I leave the room... I've just been trying to ignore her honestly when she gets like that... I don't know if its the right thing to do because she just continues screaming...then eventually I pick her up and its as if nothing happened So I can't really give advice, but I can give

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by Bxgell2

It's simple.

I ignore her when she behaves like this, and trust me, she started at about 12 months or so.

At the earlier ages, I couldn't give her a timeout, but if she started with the tantrums or the whining/screaming. I would still tell her, at eye level, that we don't talk/act like that, and that I won't be able to help her until she calms down and talks nicely, and then I would walk away for a minute or two.

I walk away from him when he screams and cries or throws himself down. He follows me around the house hysterical. Its actually kind of funny, evil mom that I am....

Seriously Beth - I can't believe you were the only one to answer this one, and the ironic thing, your posts about Alex TERRIFY me for whats to come with my little spirit demon...

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

i was just about to post about the same exact thing. i also ignore him which makes it worse.

i'm glaad to know other kids his age are doing the same thing b/c it's probably just a phase (hopefully it won't last 2 years though!)

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Emma has tantrums, she will lay on her belly and kick and cry. I just ignore them to be honest, then she stops.

How on earth do you put a 13 month in time out? Where do you put him? I'm having a hard time envisioning this and I don't think that would EVER work with Emma, nor would she even understand why she was in a time out.

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by Summerrluvv

Emma has tantrums, she will lay on her belly and kick and cry. I just ignore them to be honest, then she stops.

How on earth do you put a 13 month in time out? Where do you put him? I'm having a hard time envisioning this and I don't think that would EVER work with Emma, nor would she even understand why she was in a time out.

Time out is literally 2 seconds. I take him away from the "bad" place (wherever he is doing the thing I tell him to stop doing...) I pick him up, move him to the middle of the floor and plunk him down on his butt and walk away. Thats his time out, and he gets it!!!

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

I wish I had some answers- we think DD is in the terrible two's already (she is the size of a 2 year old

With regard to time out- we put DD
in the pack and play. She goes in for 1 minute. We no longer use it because she hates being in there, and it's a safe place for her to kick and scream.

Right now, we mostly put her in when she walks on the furniture or tries to climb the shelves.

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

When Jeremy has a tantrum, I will try to distract him. For example, when he doesn't want to put his pants on (my little nudist has been doing this A LOT recently ), I put the pants on my head. It (so far) has ended with him laughing and being distracted enough that I can finish dressing him. He is only 19 months and doesn't understand time outs or "punishment". I know he is not bing bad, per say, he is just testing his limits and bing a rambunctious toddler!

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by Summerrluvv

Emma has tantrums, she will lay on her belly and kick and cry. I just ignore them to be honest, then she stops.

How on earth do you put a 13 month in time out? Where do you put him? I'm having a hard time envisioning this and I don't think that would EVER work with Emma, nor would she even understand why she was in a time out.

Time out is literally 2 seconds. I take him away from the "bad" place (wherever he is doing the thing I tell him to stop doing...) I pick him up, move him to the middle of the floor and plunk him down on his butt and walk away. Thats his time out, and he gets it!!!

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

I definitely feel like I have a spoiled little girl on my hands already.
I also feel like part of me feels guilty that she is in day care 5 days a week.
My worst problem is that I sometimes laugh when she is misbehaving because no matter what, she is still so freakin' cute. I am trying to learn that stern "mommy face" that will make her instantly stop in her tracks....no such luck yet.

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by Laura1

I definitely feel like I have a spoiled little girl on my hands already.
I also feel like part of me feels guilty that she is in day care 5 days a week.
My worst problem is that I sometimes laugh when she is misbehaving because no matter what, she is still so freakin' cute. I am trying to learn that stern "mommy face" that will make her instantly stop in her tracks....no such luck yet.

i'm convinced now that when I was growing up, my parents made those stupid stern faces because they were trying not to laugh!

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

I started the time outs after he turned 1. And they have worked for me sometimes. He does sit there for the time out. He'll cry and he'll try to get up but then one stern look from me and he sits back down. Then when the time out is over I bend down hold out my arms and he comes running to me and gives me the biggest hug. That's his way of saying sorry.

I don't know if there is anything you can do to prevent them from being spoiled.

Sometimes my DS will laugh at us when we tell him to stop doing something he shouldn't be doing. He thinks we are playing with him so that's why he laughs and does it more.

It's heartbreaking to watch him in timeout because he sits there with the saddest face. But then again he does that so we'll feel sorry for him and take him out of time out. DH can't handle timeouts, he's usually the sucker that ends up falling for DS's saddest face look trick.

Message edited 5/4/2008 12:26:31 PM.

Re: Moms of young toddlers (12 mts-14 mts)

Oh and I forgot to mention his latest trick for avoiding getting the time out. As soon as he's done something bad and he hears me raising my voice he comes over to me, gives me his cutest smile and caresses me and says "nice nice". All so he can get out of getting in trouble. That's what I have trouble with... Then i'm like "how can you punish him when he's sweetly caressing you and saying nice nice".