Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Did your dr make you feel like you were a bad person for doing so? Yesterday was my DD 1 year appt and i decided to delay the shot. My reason is that there is autism in my family (my moms cousins son and my brother has aspburgers which is on the spectrum) so i decided to delay it until 2 years old. He told me that i was over reacting, my daughter isnt showing any signs so she dosnt have it, im putting other children at risk. Maybe all those things are true, but i could never forgive myself if something happened and i would never know if i could have avoided it. I felt like he was so mad that he just pushed me out of the office, he didnt discuss with me starting milk or getting any blood work, i had to pull the nurse aside and ask her about that. Also he made it like my daughter was delayed cuz shes not walking yet, shes only 12 months, i didnt think it was abnormal for her not to be walking yet. She is showing signs that she will probably be walking in the next month or so, whats the big deal? I always liked my dr, he was even my dr when i was a kid, but yesterday made me think i might wanna switch. I dont like feeling judged for the decisions i make for my daughter. Shes MY daughter and ill do what i feel is best for her, ya know? Well thanks for reading if you got this far.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

yes!! my dr stormed out at 9 month appt when we were discussing MMR.

he said he's not in the business to harm my child.

people like me need to stay off the internet.

I told him no way did I have full trust in him. He told me I was overreacting when I brought josh in for "acne" turns out it was an allergy rash and blood was found in stool.

told me he isn't getting enough milk into him and I should switch to formula, the kid was 95% in weight till 1 years old.

never saw him again.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

My DD will be 18 months on Thursday and she still hasn't had her MMR. She'll get it this month but according to my ped's schedule she should have gotten it at her 15 month visit.

I didn't deliberately delay it - she was sick at her 1 year visit AND at her 15 month visit so the ped and I agreed that she shouldn't get it at those appointments, but I was certainly concerned about it and probably would have delayed it anyway had circumstances not worked in my favor.

And my ped doesn't give me $hit, which is why I still go to her. You don't need to hear backtalk.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

I got the feeling that my pedi didnt agree with my choice but he didnt pressure me. He just made a few comments about the links not being true but left the final decision up to us.

His wasnt a jerk about it but I could tell he didnt agree with my choice. I left the office feeling like I made the best choice for my son so that is all that mattered to me.

I would see how your next appt goes and if you feel tension between you than I would def. switch. You dont need to leave all your appts. feeling unsure.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

I can understand why a doctor would choose to follow the schedule they choose for the practice and not deviate from it. I also think they are within their rights to tell you that this is what the practice does and if you aren't on board with their schedule, then you might have to find another doctor. I think that they can communicate all of this to a parent while still being professional and without talking to you like you are a bad mom or an idiot.

There are enough things out there that make you feel guilty as a mom - your doctor's office shouldn't be one of them. If I were you, I would consider other practices.

ETA - my DS didn't walk until he was 16 months and our ped's office wasn't too overly concerned because he was always a big baby. I don't think you should be too concerned about her not walking yet. If she still isn't walking at the 15 month appt, I would ask about it then.

Message edited 7/14/2009 10:54:34 AM.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Our ped gives it at 15 months. DD just turned 2 and still hasn't had it. I delayed for a few reasons-- I didn't want to give the same time as Chicken Pox, as the office does. So she got Chicken Pox at 18 months instead of 15 months; then, she was sick, etc. I had no intention of giving it before she was 2.5 or so.

At her 2-year visit last week, her ped was sort of laying a guilt trip on me about getting it that day. But I didn't do it...told him I'll do it in another few months. He reiterated that there are some outbreaks going on in the area, and to come back soon for it.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

You need to find a new PED. You need to be on the same page and not feel that your DD is NOT getting a full appt because he is pi$$ed off.

Obviously he was not professional enough. He tells you your kid has no delay, then you talk MMR and all the sudden he does NOT finish the well visit thoroughly and even tells you she has delays.

NOT professional at all!

It's one thing if he told you that he did not agree with you and given the circumstance it would be best for you to find another practice. But cutting a well visit short and being nasty is not the way to handle this.

Find another PED.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Absolutely not. My ped is extremely flexible with what shots I want to and not give my DD.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

I delayed until 2 years mainly because my son didnt walk until 18 months and I didnt want to throw possible autism in the mix...my dr didnt mind at all...esp since his own wife made him delay the shots for his OWN kids

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

My ped actually recommended we wait until age 2 for the MMR if she wasn't in daycare, which she won't be. The only thing she disagrees w me on is that I am want to space out her shots so she only gets 1 at a time. She thinks that DD risks more in coming to the office more frequently than she does w getting multiple shots. I only do this though bc DD had a bad reaction when she had two shots at one time -- her leg blew up and she screamed for like 5 hours straight.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Ours was really great about it. He went through his whole speech on why it is okay to get it, but in the end he said if it makes us feel better to delay it, then that is what we will do. He did stress that he would like to have it done by the time she is two though.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

My ped wasn't thrilled about it but he DID NOT act in any way like what you are describing. He explained to me why he felt it was important to stay on schedule with this shot (mainly only b/c the disease is out there and people are getting it), he listened to what I had to say on the subject and my reasons for delaying (not autism related) and basically just said its your child you can do what you want - so i am B/c honestly, he is right - i have to live with him, raise him, etc. who is he to tell me what to do with my son!

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Our ped usually gives it at 12 months too. I have followed his schedule so far, but chose to delay the MMR. They asked me when I would want to give and and I said by age 2, they wrote it in the chart, and that was it.
Walking out and not telling you about milk and bloodwork was pretty immature!
If you decide to swicth and need a recommendation let me know.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

I just gave it to my DS yesterday, my ped wasn't thrilled we waited so long and told me I should also give the chicken pox shot and his 4th HIB at the same time. I said NO WAY, only the MMR today and I will come back down road for the other shots. I was going to delay it even longer but we are going on vacation over the summer and wanted him to have it. Their are three doctors in my office and only the one i saw yesterday has ever given me a hard time with vaccines (i also had delayed the Heb B till DS was 10 months old)

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

We chose to wait til 2. Ped was fine with this. she did however say that she would push me to have it done at 2, which we wanted to do anyway.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Find a new ped. ASAP!!!! He sounds like an ***-hole!

My ped. doesn offer the MMR until the 15 or 18 mo. check up. DS is now 27 months and still has not gotten it. Planning on starting the single vaccines but now that they aren't making them I am not sure what I am going to do.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

I would definitey find a new ped. You should be able to talk to him about the care of your child without feeling pressured to do what HE feels is right. YOU are the mother - YOU do what's right.

We decided to delay the MMR too. My ped questioned me when I brought it up at his 9 month but she really wanted to make sure I knew ALL the information, not really challenge me. I was super emotional about it though because I too have autism in my family. So at the one year visit when she started to tell me about the shots again, I said we were delaying the MMR and that I didn't want to even discuss it. I wasn't comfortable giving it yet and I'd let her know when I would be. She told me I could always call her and we left it at that.

Hope you find a new ped who is on the same page as you. Good luck!

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

I agree with everyone - you need to find a new ped. Mine is totally on board w/ delaying, splitting, changing the schedule etc. She has patients on the AAP schedule, and others, like me, who are not. She is totally fine with it. She is also a big proponent of organic food, spends no less than 1/2 hour with me at every single visit (well & sick), discusses every single concern (even when I show up with a full page of written questions) that I have.

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

Nope, my dr said...ok no problem...end of conversation

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

We discussed the mmr at our 9 month visit ~ my ds's pediatrician recommended that my ds get the mmr and stay on schedule. she gave me some reading material and autism etc. But I will be delaying (I think my sons ped will not be the happiest) but I will give him the other two shots that are due at the 12 month mark.

I would look for a different ped ~ or give it one more visit ~ maybe you dc's dr was having a bad day. But if your dr is going to be unprofessional then I would def look for another ped dr. good luck!

Re: Moms who choose to delay the MMR...

I would find a new ped Asap.

I was planning on waiting till 2 for the MMR. My ped knew it since we discussed this early on, and was ok with my decision. But, we were going to Italy when Jack was 13 months, and my ped insisted that he have the shot before he go (and I agreed with him) so we gave it to him then.