My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

We came back from Italy and this kid has turned into a complete nightmare.

1. He is very needy now - constantly pulling at my pants to get picked up.

2. The second you put him into the carseat he flips over - screaming - kicking - and hitting at you - so that you can't lock him down.

3. Changing a diaper - see above re: carseat - he acts the same way

4. Tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants - which also leads to the kicking - screaming - and hitting.

How the heck do you discipline a 13 month old? I get down to his level and tell him a stern "No" - but that doesn't seem to be working.

Any advice from BTDT moms is really really appreciated.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

it seems all of our angels are turning into these little monsters.

I've tried the stern NO. When I found it didn't work I started the ignoring thing. It seems to work a little better. Just don't respond at all and go about your business.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

I have no advice.. my dd will be 11m next week and shes been doing all of those for the last month.. I try and distract her the best i can to stop the tantrums. Im dreading the terrible 2s.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Thanks everyone - great advice Ang.

I usually do the TV for diaper changes but have been lazy. I will start that again.

Also - for naps, he is screaming on the top of his lungs as if he is really pizzed off at us. He normally would go down after a few yells.

I sing every song known to man when I put him in the carseat - it's not working anymore.

Oh - one more - he used to be amazing in restaurants --- yesterday he was a nightmare - would scream on the top of his lungs until we took him out of the highchair.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Posted by Ang-Rich

Posted by Diana1215

Oh - one more - he used to be amazing in restaurants --- yesterday he was a nightmare - would scream on the top of his lungs until we took him out of the highchair.

We took a break from restaurants because of this. We can go to loud restaurants so long as it's fast and Lucas has something to distract him.

Last weekend we went to Hooters for wings...the girls all went crazy for him and he got a balloon...couldn't have been happier...THAT was our best meal out

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

I will not say anything on this post b/c I do not want to jinx myself Although I can tell you that diaper changes have been a disaster for months now, and DH came up with a trick since he's been home with DD for a few weeks...he lays out like 5 non-baby toys (remote, brochure, hair brush, etc) on her changing table and makes a big issue about "oh, choose which one you want", and she squirms so excited and picks 1 or 2 things and holds them while she's being changed, showing them to us like she's very proud. GENIUS!!!!

And Ang, that is hysterical about Hooters!!! What a nice wife you are

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

I think it starts around that time

for me:

1. She is very needy now - constantly pulling at my pants to get picked up.
-Gianna says uppy, uppy and does the same. Honestly, I ignore it as long as I can, esp if Im in the middle of something. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes not. When im done, she gets picked up.
Leaving her at daycare, seperation anxiety, cries the min she leaves my arms but I have no choice. Mom tells me its over by time I get to car.


2. The second you put him into the carseat he flips over - screaming - kicking - and hitting at you - so that you can't lock him down.
In my case, she sqirmed and i just fight with her, let her know its NOT ok to hit mommy and did the same showing her the buckles, how they attach or distract her with ELMO DVD. :)

3. Changing a diaper - see above re: carseat - distraction, anything nearby!
Its a struggle for us in am.

4. Tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants - which also leads to the kicking - screaming - and hitting. Only one thing works here for Lucas, as well as GIANNA...we ignore her/him completely. I move away from him and let him deal. Usually it works and he stops very quickly.

GL
I have to admit, some things have been a little under control. some are getting worse. Day by day!

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

yes ANG, old cell phones are our life saver!!! And remotes!!!

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Posted by nbc188

And Ang, that is hysterical about Hooters!!! What a nice wife you are

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

May I just say how happy I am to see that the other newly toddler mommys are going through the same hell that I am?

Maddie used to be SO good.... now she's suddenly become a beast.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Posted by Ang-Rich

Posted by nbc188

And Ang, that is hysterical about Hooters!!! What a nice wife you are

I lived in Buffalo for 4 year...I love wings!

Can I tell you I almost fell out the door leaving...all the girls lined up to say good-bye to Lucas and DH looked him...all 32 inches with such admiration.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

My son is only five months, but I am so not looking forward to any of this.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Yay, he sounds completely normal! Welcome to the terrible twos! He might not get better, but you will learn to deal with all these trials much better!

And IMO, distraction is the key rather than discipline!!!

Good luck!

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Message edited 8/14/2008 5:11:42 PM.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Posted by Porrruss

May I just say how happy I am to see that the other newly toddler mommys are going through the same hell that I am?

Maddie used to be SO good.... now she's suddenly become a beast.

Message edited 8/14/2008 5:27:31 PM.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

DD is doing the exact same things since 12 months with the exception of the carseat. It is so frustrating because like Jack she was pretty easy going. Now she only wants me and forget when Luka is tormenting her

I don't have any advice just 's. I do see it slowly (very slowly) getting better because now she will go to DH. She wasn't even going to him for a while.

I wanted to add, that like Deb I also ignore DD when she is at my feet. I hate doing it but, I know by giving into her I am making it worse and not teaching her anything.

Message edited 8/14/2008 5:38:04 PM.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

I think it comes and goes in phases. I had a week or two of that, all that you described and it was gone before I knew it. Well except the Diaper changes, that phases seems to last for a long time, so I just grin and bear it.

Sometimes we have needy periods too.

I think when it hits you all at once it seems out of control, but I bet a thing or two will die down in a day or two.

Its all normal behavior. No real way to discipline other then your voice....and just being in control, not letting him take over.

all the ladies advice is pretty much what I do as well.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Cailen went through that bad. what worked the best for me was not reacting at all. No eye contact, no facial expressions, just completely silent and business as usual. I would wrangle him into his car seat and pretend like he was going in easily. Same thing with the changing table, or I would distract him proactively with somehting I knew he would like - BEFORE he has the fit (no getting something cool for acting like a lunatic! )

When he tantrums at home, i walk away from him. Thats it. He threw himself down when we were out, DH scooped him up and we went home.... without talking to him.

What they want is our attention - its what they have been getting since birth. They also want to assert themselves. We teach them its ok to get mad, but if you want mommys attention, you need to express it a certain way. Tantrums will not work with mommy....

Cailen got over it pretty quickly. He still has his moments, but he knows what will fly with me and what won't....

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

For separation - I played the "right back" game with Cailen. He loves when I use my hands and fingers to gesture. So I motion with my finger and say, "I'll be right back!!!" and hold up my finger. I did it leaving the room, going upstairs, and coming right back. He loves it. I increased the time so I am "right back" after my shower.... I do it all the time now and he gets a kick out of it.

When he sees me leave the room, or even at daycare, he now holds up his finger and says his version of "right back."

With practice, anything can be communicated in a way they can understand.

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Here's my advice:

A) If his head starts to spin around....RUN!

B) When the 666 appears on his forhead, call for help

Wish I had better advice, my kids's a terror too!

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Posted by prncss

Here's my advice:

A) If his head starts to spin around....RUN!

B) When the 666 appears on his forhead, call for help

Wish I had better advice, my kids's a terror too!

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Sorry - one more game that Cailen loooooves and completely ended his changing table fits....

I lay him down, and get the fresh diaper. I say,

"Okay... time to put Cailen's diaper on..... Mommy's head!" and I "wear" it like a hat...
He loves it! He shakes his head no. Then I say, "Time to put Cailen's diaper onnnn.....Mommy's BELLY!" Cailen's toesies, Cailen's belly, Cailen's nose... etc- all the body parts he knows.

Well, he lays there waiting to see where it will go next, and with a lot of silly talk and "Noooo - thats so silly" eventually wee happily wind up putting the diaper on Cailen's hiney. Its been so much fun and totally ended the wrestling match we have had....

He also has been loving "dirty" so I say as I change him - "ewwww - dirrrty!!! Stnky, PU!!!" He loves it!!!

HTH!

Re: My 13 month old has turned into a terror - pls. help

Posted by prncss

Here's my advice:

A) If his head starts to spin around....RUN!

B) When the 666 appears on his forhead, call for help

Wish I had better advice, my kids's a terror too!