My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

To make a long story short, last night DD hurt her foot on the kiddie slide at the playground. She wouldn't put weight on it, so I brought her to the hospital. Fast forward it could be a sprain or a break. They can't tell because a lot of the bones are not fully developed and therefore don't show up on the xray.

So now my 18 month old is all wrapped up in basically a soft cast and can't walk or stand. She's still in pain because she winses and cries if it's in the wrong position or if she tries to stand.

Now, I just started my job 2 weeks ago. My boss preaches "family first" and all that. He knows DH is home right now (he's an electrician and has to take a certain amount of time every year). But I can't leave her with him by himself. I want to stay with her today and then my mom is going to help on Wednesday and my MIL on Thursday. Hopefully Friday she will be feeling well enough that DH can handle her on his own.

So I was supposed to cover this networking event this am with 2 other reps from the company. I called him this am to let him know I had to stay home today and he was kind of snippy with me. Probably because he knows DH could stay with her and I choose to stay home.

I'm new at this job and would never even call in sick unless I really felt it was important. I even told him, the only time I won't be here is if DD is sick. He KNOWS this. He could be like this because one other girl he hired last week called in sick 3 times already for a sinus infection and another girl that started the same time as me has already left early, come in late, and called in sick because her son has bad asthma. So I understand his frustration. But I can't leave DD like this, even if it is with DH. I just feel so bad for her.

Sorry so long......

ETA I know DH is capable of taking care of DD. I just think that I am better to handle this situation. I am her mommy, and the nurturing comes from me.

Message edited 5/19/2009 12:33:23 PM.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

I am a working mom and my DD comes first (I do what I do for her and for our family, so they are always first).

In your situation, if DH couldn't handle it alone then you did the right thing by staying home. The bottom line is that you do what you feel comfortable with.

I can also understand your boss getting annoyed-with everything you mentioned about the rest of the staff it's probably not you but the entire situation.

Hope DD gets better quickly

Message edited 5/19/2009 9:06:54 AM.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Why can't you leave her with her father? Why can't he handle caring for her himself?

In this situation, unless there is a reason your DH can't care for DD, then, of course you have to stay with her.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Could you go in part time today at least? I'm not sure why your DH cant watch her ?

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

That's a tough one. You have a responsibility to your job but at the same time, your daughter has a broken foot and you want to be with her today (I assume you only took her to the hospital last night).

Given the situation at work where the 2 other new employees he has just hired called out already and are late daily, he is probably just skeptical about the whole situation and who he hired.

At this point, you already called out. I wouldnt worry about it now. Go into work tomorrow and "kiss arse" for the next few weeks. Something tells me the other two are going to be "problem" employees from what you said.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Posted by dm24angel

Could you go in part time today at least? I'm not sure why your DH cant watch her ?

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

I dont get why DH cant stay home with her either and based on it being a new job, your boss knowing your DH was home and having to attend an event today with other people depending on you, I wouldve left DH with DC and at least went in for the morning event. JMO.

I hope your DC feels better soon, poor thing!

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

I know I am kind of enabling him, but DH just isn't as good at taking care of her. She has been mostly my responsibility from the beginning. He can handle her in the afternoons. But he just gets nervous with her and doesn't now what to do with her. I just feel like I would take better care of her. Maybe that's me just being an overprotective mother.

When I look back at it now, and it's too late now, but I could have gone to the event this morning and came home early.

I really just didn't want to leave her this morning knowing that she is in pain.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

I do think you were wrong in this situation.

Your DH can handle your DD, and he has to learn to handle your DD. There is no reason why he can't stay home with her at this point.

I know that family comes first, but since your DH is home, you are leaving a new job in the lurch at this point when there IS someone at home to care for DD

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

I’m sorry, but I think you should have gone in as your husband was home to look after your daughter.

It sounds as if today was an important day, and as it’s a new job, sometimes you have to be careful. If my boss knew that my husband was home and I chose that day to stay home with my child, I would probably be taken in and spoken to.

I think you are probably underestimating your husbands parenting skills, I bet he is plenty capable to deal with your daughter for the day.

I hope her foot is better soon!

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Posted by 05mommy09

Posted by shamrock124

Why can't you leave her with her father? Why can't he handle caring for her himself?

In this situation, unless there is a reason your DH can't care for DD, then, of course you have to stay with her.

I kinda disagree...

My son runs really high fevers when he gets sick (105-106) and while my mom and MIL are usually home to help out, when my child is really sick I wouldnt DREAM of putting that on them...
I wouldnt feel comfortable...

I would want to be the one to "make the call" if I thought a trip to the ER was needed...

I guess her situation is a little different, since high fevers can lead to serious medical issues, and a broken foot would not, but I completly understand the NEED as a mother to be with your child.

I trust my husband and relatives- they are capable, but my child ALWAYS come first....my purpose is to take care of my "baby" so if she felt she was needed at home- then she made the right choice.

Its so so so so hard to be a working mom, you are faced with decisions and guilt ALL THE TIME!!!!
You feel as if you are ALWAYS letting someone down...

If you dont abuse the attendance policy, then I think you did what was best for your family and in turn that was the right decision.

I hope Laila feels better soon

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Posted by KateDevine

I do think you were wrong in this situation.

Your DH can handle your DD, and he has to learn to handle your DD. There is no reason why he can't stay home with her at this point.

I know that family comes first, but since your DH is home, you are leaving a new job in the lurch at this point when there IS someone at home to care for DD

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

I am a full time working mom. My children come first...of course that is true. WITH that said, my children have a father. We are a team. I HAVE to trust that he can care for his children. He is their father and there are times that he must care for them without me. You need to give your husband the chance to do that. he might not do it "perfect" or "your way" but he will do it and at the end of the day the two of them will be just fine.

You need to understand that your boss had a company to run. You should have called him at home yesterday and explained what is happening. He could have gotten someone to cover for you. I am a manager and I would have a real decision to keep someone on if they called in, last minute, without a real emergency situation and left me unable to manage an event properly.Especially before a "trust" has been set since you are so new to the company.
I think you need to go in the later half of the day and tell him that your daughter was in a lot of pain and you were not sure how to leave her but she is feeling a bit better now so you came into work.

Message edited 5/19/2009 10:38:06 AM.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

First, I hope Laila feels better!

Don't beat yourself up. I would have done the same thing. Yes, like you my DH is capable but he is not mommy and he is not nurturing at all. I would not be able to leave him with my baby all day while I was at work. It is tough being a working mom.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

I guess what it comes down to is that I don't want to leave her. I feel horrible that she is in pain. DH is capable of taking care of her. But she is still in pain and I am hoping that she will feel better by tomorrow. DH told me to go to work, but I really just want to take care of her.

I didn't know how important this event was this morning until this morning. They asked me to go very matter-of-factly and I really thought I was going to observe a talk that my co-worker was doing. I'm not making excuses, but I was asked last minute to go and didn't think it was a big deal.

This is my first injury, and maybe I overacted a little. Maybe I should have gone in this morning. But I just didn't know how she would be when she woke up. And I got out of the hospital at 11 pm last night. So I thought it was inappropriate to call my boss then. So then he would call someone else at 11 pm to ask them to go. When there are already 2 people there more than capable of covering it. The only thing I can think of is that maybe the other girl called in sick. I don't know.

I don't know. I would have felt horrible if I left her and I feel horrible missing work. So either way I lose.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Posted by nycchic24

Posted by 05mommy09

Posted by shamrock124

Why can't you leave her with her father? Why can't he handle caring for her himself?

In this situation, unless there is a reason your DH can't care for DD, then, of course you have to stay with her.

I kinda disagree...

My son runs really high fevers when he gets sick (105-106) and while my mom and MIL are usually home to help out, when my child is really sick I wouldnt DREAM of putting that on them...
I wouldnt feel comfortable...

I would want to be the one to "make the call" if I thought a trip to the ER was needed...

I guess her situation is a little different, since high fevers can lead to serious medical issues, and a broken foot would not, but I completly understand the NEED as a mother to be with your child.

I trust my husband and relatives- they are capable, but my child ALWAYS come first....my purpose is to take care of my "baby" so if she felt she was needed at home- then she made the right choice.

Its so so so so hard to be a working mom, you are faced with decisions and guilt ALL THE TIME!!!!
You feel as if you are ALWAYS letting someone down...

If you dont abuse the attendance policy, then I think you did what was best for your family and in turn that was the right decision.

I hope Laila feels better soon

I totally agree with this. I can see where your boss would kind of question it but I go through the same thing with my husband. Theres some things he can handle and others he just cant. Just like every child, every man is different and you know your husbands limitations. I have tested my husband..I have given him more freedom and responsibility with Megan and each and every time, he lets me down. I also cannot imagine not being there for my baby if she had a broken/sprained ankle. I envy those couples who can deal with kids equally. I truly do. Its a much different life than I have here or maybe you have there. I am sorry you are going through this.

Message edited 5/19/2009 11:40:25 AM.

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Posted by KateDevine

I do think you were wrong in this situation.

Your DH can handle your DD, and he has to learn to handle your DD. There is no reason why he can't stay home with her at this point.

I know that family comes first, but since your DH is home, you are leaving a new job in the lurch at this point when there IS someone at home to care for DD

Re: My baby got hurt and my boss kinda made me feel guilty for calling in sick. Am I wrong? Kinda long.

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by KateDevine

I do think you were wrong in this situation.

Your DH can handle your DD, and he has to learn to handle your DD. There is no reason why he can't stay home with her at this point.

I know that family comes first, but since your DH is home, you are leaving a new job in the lurch at this point when there IS someone at home to care for DD

ITA! If you had no one to watch her that would be a different story. But, he's her father, and you just started a new job!