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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Logan's been at this daycare since he was 5 months old and I've loved it.
He moved to the toddler room recently and I'm having some real issues with how they handle things.
1. I was never given "formal" notice that he moved - I was supposed to get a letter but never got one.
2. The last 5 days I've dropped him off there's been no one in his room. I usually hang up his things, and get him settled and by that time someone comes in, but they aren't there to greet him. I'm dropping him off at his scheduled time (9:00) and they open at 6:00, so I don't understand.
3. The last 3 days I've picked him up he's been hysterical crying and when I come in, no one is paying any attention to him. Yesterday the teacher was drinking her Dr. Pepper and eating chips without even looking at him.
4. The last few mornings he's been having real trouble separating. This morning I had to go to the doctor and after the snowtasticness I woke up to, I was running late. So I dropped him off (finally found a teacher), settled him in and said goodbye. As usual he cried and the teacher picked him up.
I hovered out of sight for a few minutes and still heard him crying. I looked in and the teacher had put him down and was just leaning against the sink staring into space.
No other kids needed her attention, I don't think it was unreasonable for her to still be paying attention to Logan for a bit.
Now, I'm trying to keep a couple things in mind:
1. Logan's world is in a state of disarray with everything happening with DH and the parade of grandparents coming and going all the time, so I know he's a bit crankier than usual.
2. Toddlers are very different than babies and don't get as much snuggle time as the infants do.
3. This is new and he's adjusting.
So if you are still reading, congrats and thanks.
Would you say something now or wait and see if things get better?
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Posted 10/28/08 11:06 AM  |
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Melissa77
Mommy of 3
Member since 8/08 2872 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
I would definately address all my concerns with the teacher and if I saw no change, I would then discuss it with the director.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:10 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
I'm not a toddler mom yet but I absolutely would say something! When you take care of children for a living, you don't have the luxury of staring into space and letting your mind wander, sorry. That really gets to me.
Even if your child wasn't going through something traumatic at home I would find this unacceptable. In Logan's case, it's a bigger offense IMO.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:11 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
First off 
Like you need to have to worry about this too with all that's going on - so unfair!
Does your daycare provider know what's going on at home? Is it worth phrasing it like that "you know Logan really could use some extra one-on-one attention right now..."
And it's B.S. that no one is there to greet him when he arrives. Where the heck are they? I would say something - absolutely. These people are being paid to care for your son - not relax.
Is it this particular teacher in his new room or everyone in general? I would speak to the Director.
ETS: I think that since it is new and he probably needs time to adjust - they should be putting in the extra effort to help him adjust. New teacher, new friends, new room - it's not fair for them to expect him to adjust without some extra attention. And it's terrible that you were not informed of him moving to this room - isn't it considered a fairly big deal to "step up" to the next room? Had you been informed, you could have helped with his adjustment.
So sorry
Message edited 10/28/2008 11:15:46 AM.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:11 AM |
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JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
I'm very curious to see what BTDT moms say here. I think I would say something - especially about there not being a teacher present when you arrive. I'm also very upset that the teacher is not trying engage him when he is crying - maybe not cuddle, but try to distract him with a toy at least!
Hope it gets better...
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:12 AM |
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want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
I would def. say something Do they know what is going on at home? This should really add a little attention. I can see if they had other children who needed them at that moment, but if not, then he should be catered to a little bit. Is there a head teacher that you can speak with?
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:14 AM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
I would maybe mention something to them- I am a licensed home day care provider myself and I know that I always felt it was important to be kept up to date on any changes going on at home etc... ( new siblings, illnesses, moving etc...) Maybe you can approach them along the lines of
" Logan may need a little extra TLC in the next few weeks (months) etc...- we have some health issues ( or get as specific as you feel necessary) going on at home and he is going through some changes etc...
This way maybe, even though they should be spending equal quality time with all the children, it will put them back on track and hopefully it will alleviate some of his seperation, if he gets that extra special touch
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:15 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
The director knows what's happening at home, I'm not sure if she shared it with the staff or not.
There are 3 toddler rooms and it seems to be the two girls in Logans room that are the most concerning to me.
They just aren't "warm", KWIM??
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:15 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by SweetCaroline
First off
Like you need to have to worry about this too with all that's going on - so unfair!
Does your daycare provider know what's going on at home? Is it worth phrasing it like that "you know Logan really could use some extra one-on-one attention right now..."
And it's B.S. that no one is there to greet him when he arrives. Where the heck are they? I would say something - absolutely. These people are being paid to care for your son - not relax.
Is it this particular teacher in his new room or everyone in general? I would speak to the Director.
So sorry
ITA with all of this. Honestly DS is in a toddler room that is a school (not a daycare) and he gets more attention than what you are describing. I would absolutely have a discussion with the Director.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:16 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by leighla
There are 3 toddler rooms and it seems to be the two girls in Logans room that are the most concerning to me.
They just aren't "warm", KWIM??
How upsetting. Honestly, I don't understand why people who aren't truly enthusiastic about child care get into this field 
Message edited 10/28/2008 11:18:04 AM.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:17 AM |
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mrsej
The cutest!
Member since 1/07 2495 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
I am so sorry You should definitely speak with the director. You are lucky that you have made these observations instead of being left in the dark. Maybe you could ask the director if he could be put in any of the other toddler rooms. You can say that you observed the other rooms and that you think, based on DS' personality, he might be a better fit in the other rooms. Good luck!
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:25 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by leighla
Would you say something now or wait and see if things get better?
I would sit down with the director now and not wait for it to get better...because it doesn't seem like it will on it's own...in my opinion and experience.
Some teachers have preferences for certain children...and that's fine because usually the teacher's balance each other out in their attention and affection for the children. I'm not getting that impression in Logan's situation and that concerns me. Yes he's no longer an infant but he still requires a certain amount of attention and affection...especially at the times where he is clearly looking for it.
I've got Lucas in a pretty good routine for drop off but this morning we were running late and I had to do a drop and run. He's been sick so this really threw him for a loop and he started crying...the teacher scooped him up and brought him to the door to distract him. When I snuck back for look I caught her giving him a kiss on the cheek...that's how Logan should be treated. Until they create that warm environment for him he's not going to have good days...and that's not fair to anyone...but most especially him.
And I've seen teachers with several distressed children do their best to comfort them as a group until they could get some help to divide them up to help out. So it makes me angry to hear that a teacher that did not have immediate concerns with other children was ignoring Logan.
I say try the nice guy route first...the 'I need your help to make this okay for Logan...you're an important part of this working out" but directed at the director...see where that takes you. Remind them that things are difficult and Logan needs a environment that provides him with security and happiness.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:26 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by Ang-Rich
Posted by leighla
Would you say something now or wait and see if things get better?
I would sit down with the director now and not wait for it to get better...because it doesn't seem like it will on it's own...in my opinion and experience.
Some teachers have preferences for certain children...and that's fine because usually the teacher's balance each other out in their attention and affection for the children. I'm not getting that impression in Logan's situation and that concerns me. Yes he's no longer an infant but he still requires a certain amount of attention and affection...especially at the times where he is clearly looking for it.
I've got Lucas in a pretty good routine for drop off but this morning we were running late and I had to do a drop and run. He's been sick so this really threw him for a loop and he started crying...the teacher scooped him up and brought him to the door to distract him. When I snuck back for look I caught her giving him a kiss on the cheek...that's how Logan should be treated. Until they create that warm environment for him he's not going to have good days...and that's not fair to anyone...but most especially him.
And I've seen teachers with several distressed children do their best to comfort them as a group until they could get some help to divide them up to help out. So it makes me angry to hear that a teacher that did not have immediate concerns with other children was ignoring Logan.
I say try the nice guy route first...the 'I need your help to make this okay for Logan...you're an important part of this working out" but directed at the director...see where that takes you. Remind them that things are difficult and Logan needs a environment that provides him with security and happiness.
ITA...well said!
This is the last thing you need right now.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:31 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
I would definately say something. If you feel like something is wrong, then it is definately wrong. Mommy instincts are always dead on.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:33 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by Ang-Rich
Posted by leighla
Would you say something now or wait and see if things get better?
I would sit down with the director now and not wait for it to get better...because it doesn't seem like it will on it's own...in my opinion and experience.
Some teachers have preferences for certain children...and that's fine because usually the teacher's balance each other out in their attention and affection for the children. I'm not getting that impression in Logan's situation and that concerns me. Yes he's no longer an infant but he still requires a certain amount of attention and affection...especially at the times where he is clearly looking for it.
I've got Lucas in a pretty good routine for drop off but this morning we were running late and I had to do a drop and run. He's been sick so this really threw him for a loop and he started crying...the teacher scooped him up and brought him to the door to distract him. When I snuck back for look I caught her giving him a kiss on the cheek...that's how Logan should be treated. Until they create that warm environment for him he's not going to have good days...and that's not fair to anyone...but most especially him.
And I've seen teachers with several distressed children do their best to comfort them as a group until they could get some help to divide them up to help out. So it makes me angry to hear that a teacher that did not have immediate concerns with other children was ignoring Logan.
I say try the nice guy route first...the 'I need your help to make this okay for Logan...you're an important part of this working out" but directed at the director...see where that takes you. Remind them that things are difficult and Logan needs a environment that provides him with security and happiness.
I completely agree.
With his home life in disarray, I think he needs daycare to be more structured & routine than ever. You're at your stress level quota. Daycare doesn't need to be adding to it.
Absolutely address it. Personally, I would think the teachers would be falling all over to help you given what's going on.
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| Posted 10/28/08 11:43 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by pmpkn087
I would definately say something. If you feel like something is wrong, then it is definately wrong. Mommy instincts are always dead on.
I agree, plus you are paying all this $$$.
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| Posted 10/28/08 12:05 PM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
As someone who used to work in a daycare, I would not only bring it to the attention of the director, but his teacher.The teacher is the one in the class all day, which your child all day so def speak with her, voice your concerns and what you expect of her.
I mean yes she is entitled to have a soda and chips, but I wouldn't be eating in front of parents and ignoring children.
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| Posted 10/28/08 12:11 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by Nicole728
As someone who used to work in a daycare, I would not only bring it to the attention of the director, but his teacher.The teacher is the one in the class all day, which your child all day so def speak with her, voice your concerns and what you expect of her.
I mean yes she is entitled to have a soda and chips, but I wouldn't be eating in front of parents and ignoring children.
I am very comfortable with the director, we have a mutual friend and the director herself is very warm and open.
I have no relationship with the teacher at all, so in addition to it being an awkward conversation to begin with, it's really one of the first ones I've had with her at all since she's not around when I'm dropping him off.
Do you have any suggestions for HOW I can say it so it doesn't come off as a high-maintence mom?
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| Posted 10/28/08 12:26 PM |
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lbelle821
Arghhhhh
Member since 2/06 5285 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
definately 100% say something.
I know you know we went through the separation anxiety but at least I can say that they did try to pay extra attention to making him feel settled. It is a big adjustment for them and like you said, Logan can sense a change at home and now a change at daycare too can be overwhelming.
But even if there was nothing going on at home I still think they are not handling it the way I'd like. Get it addressed now before it gets to the point of no return. You've always like the provider, it is convienient to you, I'd hate to see this get out of control if you don't nip it in the bud now. I bet they'll be very receptive!
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| Posted 10/28/08 12:33 PM |
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by Diane
Posted by pmpkn087
I would definately say something. If you feel like something is wrong, then it is definately wrong. Mommy instincts are always dead on.
I agree, plus you are paying all this $$$.
ITA.
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| Posted 10/28/08 12:37 PM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Honestly, I would go right to the director. If things do not improve immediately, I would see if there is another room he can be moved to or change daycares. It's probably the last thing you need to think about but having a supportive environment at daycare and home is going to be so important in the months to come for all of you.
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| Posted 10/28/08 12:53 PM |
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
If this were me, I would definitely address my concerns. The fact that nobody is there in the morning would really bother me. Infant or no infant, he STILL needs greeting. The fact that she wouldn't even try to comfort him would also be a flag to me. I have never been involved with day care so I don't know much on this subject but I really would address it. I hope things get better.
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| Posted 10/28/08 1:12 PM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by leighla
Posted by Nicole728
As someone who used to work in a daycare, I would not only bring it to the attention of the director, but his teacher.The teacher is the one in the class all day, which your child all day so def speak with her, voice your concerns and what you expect of her.
I mean yes she is entitled to have a soda and chips, but I wouldn't be eating in front of parents and ignoring children.
I am very comfortable with the director, we have a mutual friend and the director herself is very warm and open.
I have no relationship with the teacher at all, so in addition to it being an awkward conversation to begin with, it's really one of the first ones I've had with her at all since she's not around when I'm dropping him off.
Do you have any suggestions for HOW I can say it so it doesn't come off as a high-maintence mom?
If there is no one in the classroom, I would question the director first, that is totally unacceptable! Your child should either be dropped off in another class until the teacher gets there or someone else should stay in that room until it is staffed.
secondly, after you speak with the director, I would just tell the teacher that you voiced some concerns.
Ask her what her hours are...when I worked in daycare there was a teacher and an assitant...If I wasn't in the room, my asst was and vice versa. I would have never left a room unattended.
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| Posted 10/28/08 1:44 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
I would definately not wait and see but discuss your issues with the teacher. I would also play on their sympathies and ask that he get a little extra time right now as best they can. 
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| Posted 10/28/08 2:07 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: My first real daycare issue, opinions please...
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Ang-Rich
Posted by leighla
Would you say something now or wait and see if things get better?
I would sit down with the director now and not wait for it to get better...because it doesn't seem like it will on it's own...in my opinion and experience.
Some teachers have preferences for certain children...and that's fine because usually the teacher's balance each other out in their attention and affection for the children. I'm not getting that impression in Logan's situation and that concerns me. Yes he's no longer an infant but he still requires a certain amount of attention and affection...especially at the times where he is clearly looking for it.
I've got Lucas in a pretty good routine for drop off but this morning we were running late and I had to do a drop and run. He's been sick so this really threw him for a loop and he started crying...the teacher scooped him up and brought him to the door to distract him. When I snuck back for look I caught her giving him a kiss on the cheek...that's how Logan should be treated. Until they create that warm environment for him he's not going to have good days...and that's not fair to anyone...but most especially him.
And I've seen teachers with several distressed children do their best to comfort them as a group until they could get some help to divide them up to help out. So it makes me angry to hear that a teacher that did not have immediate concerns with other children was ignoring Logan.
I say try the nice guy route first...the 'I need your help to make this okay for Logan...you're an important part of this working out" but directed at the director...see where that takes you. Remind them that things are difficult and Logan needs a environment that provides him with security and happiness.
I completely agree.
With his home life in disarray, I think he needs daycare to be more structured & routine than ever. You're at your stress level quota. Daycare doesn't need to be adding to it.
Absolutely address it. Personally, I would think the teachers would be falling all over to help you given what's going on.
ITA with this all. And especially with what Barb said. Logan has SO much going on at home and his life is so tough right now that they have to pay special attention to him. I don't care that he is a toddler and not a baby, he NEEDS that cuddle time right now, and I don't believe you are wrong to demand that!!
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| Posted 10/28/08 2:46 PM |
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