My goals regarding exclusively pumping....

I have been giving DD breastmilk that I pump. I pump 5 times a day for 20 minutes, spending almost 2 hours a day pumping. It is VERY time consuming and at 5 weeks post partum I am already getting very tired of it. My goal was originally 6 months, but my new goal is 3 months. I would rather spend the two hours I spend a day pumping (often it is very hard to find this time and DD ends up crying in the other room while I make time to pump) with DD. Plus, my boobs are disgustingly huge and I just want my body back.

I broke the news to DH tonight. He is not happy and thinks that I should try for 6 months at least. How can I get it across to him that I appreciate his opinion, but these are my boobs and I am going to essentially do what I need to do? After all, 3 months of breastmilk is certainly something to be proud of imo..it has taken a lot of time and dedication to do this, so why is DH making me feel guilty about it? I never thought that an issue such as breastmilk would cause such problems in my family!! (see previous threads about FIL and breastfeeding discussions). UGH.

Re: My goals regarding exclusively pumping....

I think 3 months is admirable! I couldn't even finish off three weeks!!
I don't think anyone realizes how time-consuming and exhausting breastfeeding can be until they actually do it.
Let your husband mirror your schedule for a day - stick that pump on him for 20 minutes and see how he likes it! Then strap 20 extra pounds to his chest and make him walk around for an hour!
Watch how quickly he understands!!

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I really think DH needs to support your opinion, that is SO important. I do nto think men understand what our bodies go through when we have babies

My dh was the opposite, if dd was having trouible latching on or nursing he would say "give her formula" when I REALLY wanted to breast feed her. I wound up Bf and supplementing for 8 weeks then she went on 100% formula. I know it is hard but any breastmilk (whether it be for 1 week, one month or one year) is better than none

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DH wasn't happy with my decision to start using formula -- and now I only pump 1- 2 times a day. I just do my thing. If he wants to pump his own breast fine...in the meantime I do what I do and feel no need to check with him, Would this work for you?

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I really give credit to anyone who EPs. (I'm currently doing it 3xs a day at work.) It is sooo much work. The time, the cleaning, etc... 3 months is admirable!

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Please don't feel bad, just do what you need to do. I only breast fed my oldest for a short time because I just never got the hang of it and it was causing major stress. My mother finally convinced me to stop, telling me that the whole problem could be solved with a trip to CVS.

My youngest wasn't breast fed at all. My kids were/are both incredibly healthy. Although I think its great to do it if you are able, no way would I feel guilty about stopping at the three month mark. BTW, I'm a bit surprised that all these husband's are so "concerned" about this-- mine really always left these decisions exclusively up to me. I too am from the "these are my boobs" school of thought.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Message edited 7/26/2007 9:19:47 PM.

Re: My goals regarding exclusively pumping....

They are your boobs - so it's your decision. I think it's great that you are still aiming for 3 months!

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I think it's great that you even did this for 5 weeks. 3 months is a great amount of time. It takes alot of time to pump and I can totally understand you wanting more time with DD and your body back!

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Re: My goals regarding exclusively pumping....

It is so hard to exclusively pump, I know because I did it for almost 8 weeks. That's a long time when you think about it. I, too, was pumping 4-5 times a day for 20 minutes each session, adn my DD would cry for every second of it because I couldn't hold her, and at that age, that's all she wanted. It's just not easy. I do think, though, that once your supply evens out, you should be able to cut down to three times a day. I ended up stopping because the pumping was causing my hormones to be all out of whack and was contributing to my PPD, but honestly, the freedom I felt afterwards was way worth it. I just wanted to be free to go about my day and to not be milked like a cow all the time. Do what's right for you. Aim for one day at a time, don't worry about anything other than right now.

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I think setting manageable goals for yourself is the way to go! I set a goal to BF for 3 months, and then wound up continuing for 6 months (w/formula).

See how you feel at 3 months, that alone is a tremendous accomplishment. DH should support whatever you decide.

Message edited 7/26/2007 11:38:54 PM.

Re: My goals regarding exclusively pumping....

I had a really difficult time pumping in the beginning, very low milk supply combined with the hassle of being enslaved to the pump 4-5x a day did not make me happy! My initial target was always 6 months, but after having such a hard time pumping, I said 3 months. Dh had no problem with it, since we were supplementing with formula anyways. But, I got a clogged milk duct and that turned out to be a miracle in disguise for me. I worked so hard for 2 weeks to unclog the ducts that by the time I was fully unclogged, my milk supply was great! And for some reason, i only needed to pump twice a day - morning and night. I was averaging 12-14oz. per session! It was more than enough for DD, and if it wasn't I was more than happy to give her formula. I think DD would've been fine either way! I pumped up to 7 months!

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I pumped exclusively for 8 months. 8 Months. Lucky for me, I had a fantastic supply and only pumped 3x a day, I had a schedule and it (seemed to) work out okay, however, would I do it again? No. I would enjoy the time I had with my baby and not spend so much time worrying about running out of milk. That was more time consuming than the actual pumping.

Tell your husband when he wants to spend all that time with suction cups attached to his nips, six months will be a great time frame! Do it until you feel happy doing it, and give up! Formula fed babies are healthy wonderful babies.

End of.

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I would tell DH I considered what he said & will continue my goal to 3 months. I'll re-evaluate at that point. (You never know. You may change your mind).

I would also tell him that if he wants to make my life easier & encourage me to make it to 3 months, he needs to step up to the plate & wash bottles, sterilize everything, etc.

I always thought EP was the hardest thing. Spending the time to pump, then feeding the baby, then washing everything again leaves you no time to get anything done.

I bf'ed & pumped for 11 months. If I EP, I don't think I would have lasted that long. I'm glad you're recognizing your limits. Many women don't & wind up feeling strung-out, exhausted & guilty. Stick to your guns.

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I don't understand husbands who put this pressure on their wives. I'm sorry, I just feel they need to be super supportive of any decision you make regarding feeding your baby! It's not his breasts...and what does he think will happen when you go to formula? That it is poison?

My friend went from BF'ing to formula at 3 months and she was so happy she did it. She returned to work, and had all the same feelings you have regarding pumping.

I always wonder if people think that when they offer formula that their baby will become lethargic and sick...it's so odd to me, most of us on these boards were FF!

Do what you need to do. But please stand your ground. You will end up resenting him if you give in to his wishes regarding this...I know I would.

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Exclusively pumping must be so hard. I pumped once a day while on maternity leave to get a freezer supply and it was a total pain. I pump at work, but that's different -- no baby to worry about. Maybe try some Fenugreek to increase your supply so you don't have to be such a slave to the pump. 3 months is a great goal. Most people I know who have exclusively pumped have gone about 3 months.

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I think its admirable too-- and personally if it was my DH telling me anything regarding that dept I'd tell him to stuff it.... I myself couldnt nurse for more than once a day for the 1st month-- so kudos to you for making it this far!!!

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Tell him to shove it.

Honestly, the fact that you've spent this much time pumping considering how much you and Madison suffered in the first week or two, amazes me. You have gone above and beyond in my book. It is YOUR body and if you are tired of what this is putting you through, that is YOUR decision to make. Obviously, your husband does not have to wake up and feed her and have his boobs squeezed and pulled on in order to sustain life for someone. He absolutely has NO idea what you are going through.

It is important for new moms (first time or not) to realize their limits, their breaking points and when to say that's enough/take a break/walk away. You wanted 6 months, but realize how this is making you feel and decided on 3. Next week you may decide you've had enough and to be honest, THAT'S FINE.

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Three months is a great goal! You should be proud of yourself for all the time that you put into this...it is definitely not easy.

My DH is very pro-breastmilk as well but to his credit he backs his support up. DH does all of the night feedings (which now are down to one but before was crazy). So he gets up to feed the baby and I pump. We usually get back into bed around the same time. I was able to build up a good supply (36oz in the fridge at all times and I have about 20oz frozen so far) so we no longer have to pump and feed at the same time. Usually the last bottle I make before bed stays out for him to eat when he wakes since it can last for a while unrefrigerated.

I just started to give up the late night pumping but DH still get the baby to feed him so I can sleep. That is the biggest help and the most selfless thing - I appreciate it so much. So I am going to pump as long as I can since I do have his support - it makes it so much easier. Pumping is very time consuming and hard.

I agree with what everyone said above...give yourself to 3 months and then re-evaluate it. if you want to keep going..great. If not...still great because you gave your child three months of breastmilk (plus whatever you produce while you wean) and that alone is so very beneficial for her.

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Wow I have to say that if your DH is so adament about you doing this he really needs to be supporting you every step of the way (cleaning, sterilizing, holding the baby while you pump). If that's not an option then he needs to back off and let you do what you need to do. I planned to bf for 6 months, then changed it to 3 months - but had to stop at 6wks for other reasons, and all the while DH wanted me to use formula bc he saw how hard it was for me. Any length of time you bf is of benefit to your baby and the bottom line is you have to do what works for YOU, and YOUR BODY - and that may change over time, but only YOU know what YOU need. Good luck and don't let the guilt get you down, we all do our best and that is all that matters.

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my dh was the same way when i told him the other day that i'm stopping cause it was time consuming. i stoped on wedensday and man oh man my boobs hurt so bad they are rock hard and very engrouged.

but it is your choice. it is very hard to do it and i had many times to were i was pumping and dd was screaming in the other room.

he will get over it and he should be supporive over it.


just to let u know did a great job at it and for keeping it up that look.
it is very hard work. plus she got that much worth of milk.

that is what i keep on telling myself.

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I totally understand. I did not want to be in that situation and made it clear to DH when PG that I would try BF and that if it did not work I did not want a guiltry trip.

Those are your boobs, your time, your sleep. While the concept of BF is great with lots of benefits, only you and your body know what it is going through.

I just started pumping this week after 4 weeks of BF on the boob. I actually find a relief by pumping.

My goal is also 6 months but honestly, once I go back to work at 3 months, I will re-evaluate the whole thing and see if it still works.

I would tell DH that you are doing everything you can to do what is best and maybe see how it goes after she is 3 months. That maybe you will continue or maybe not but that a guilt trip is not fair. That he should be supportive.

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I think it is fantastic that you are going to do 3 months

You just have to tell DH exactly what you typed above, it is YOUR body and you are the one doing all of the work and if you want to stop for WHATEVER reason it is YOUR choice, not his.

I never breast fed, but DH and I had this argument when I was pregnant...a lot. I finally just told him to shove it and I was doing what I wanted. He mentioned it a few times the first week home, but then my milk never came in and he hasn't mentioned it since.

Formula fed babies are healthy as well

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Definitely don't feel bad - you need to do what you feel is right for your child and for you. Happy mommies make happier babies.

Don't let anyone else make you feel bad for your choices. BF is very hard - pumping to give BM is even harder. I am BF and I am trying to pump a little here and there to give DD a bottle so when we go out with her I can give her a bottle or we can go out without her eventually. I find it impossible to pump - she wants to be held a lot and rarely sleeps for more than a few minutes without me during the day (another story at night). She is in my arms now while I am typing this feeding.

I give you a lot of props for exclusively pumping this long.

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I think the fact that you've pumped for the first month is great - 3 months is excellent!!!!!!!!

I bf and supplement - I tried pumping in the beginning and hated it.

Could your DH go with you to your child's next visit and have the pediatrician talk about how formula is fine for the baby?