My turn to ask for help/your opinions

Thanks.

Message edited 3/2/2007 10:25:52 AM.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

Every year we had Christmas morning opening presents at home and then by 9am we loaded up the kids and went to my parents house for the day.I have yet to this day known what it is like to stay home and play on Christmas.I wouldn't change this tradition for the world!

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I only have one child, a baby. We do leave our house to be with extended family. We live in the city and so does my sister (she has a 17 month old). Our mom lives in LI and her in laws live in Phili. We almost went to the Jersey Shore for Thanskgiving because that is where my sister's in-laws were having it. Last year my sister took her 6 month old to Phili for Thanksgiving.

I think it is unreasonable to have that set in stone. I think that the holidays should be shared between the various family members. There are so many occassions throughout the year, they can't expect you all to come to their houses for each holiday. If you want to host you should speak up and start a tradition where you host- say Thansgiving. One sister can host X-mas eve and another host X-mas. I think that is a good compromise.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

My mom always hosted Christmas day so we never had to leave the house

But as a kid I loved big family get togethers so I would've left my house if if one of my cousins decided they were hosting

can your sisters alternate christmas's?

one year, the one sis hosts so her kids can stay home and then the next year the other sis hosts

so it will be just every other year that either of them leave their homes

Message edited 11/29/2006 3:45:53 PM.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

we split it where we do Christmas Eve dinner here and Christmas day we go to SIL house (she has older boys than my 11 month old.)

I know of one large family that for Thanksgiving, they go to the spouses family, and then their family does Thanksgiving 1 week earlier or later.

IE: The Smith family does it a week before or after the holiday, The Spouses of the Smiths go to their seperate families (does that make sense)???

What if one sister did Christmas OR Christmas Eve and maybe you do it a week before or later.....I'm sure the kids won't mind opening a few gifts early or late to extend the joy.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

my sister did the same thing, she has 3 kids and my other sister 2 and i the one. so because she had the most she refussed to leave her house anymore and rip her kids away from there toys, but it is ok for us to take our kids away fron\m theres. i told my mom i wanted to do christmas here this year becasue it will be my first christmas alone and being the house should be done by then , well my mom went no way , my step dad was like sure sounds good to him. so needless to say i will not be staying home again this year, but for years been looking for a way to stay home. hmmmm not much help am i never mind

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I think that i would try explaining to your sisters that its more important for the kids to play with their cousins than their toys. Cant they alternate every year?

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

Growing up, we travelled an hour each way for every holiday except for the one Christmas when either my brother or I was sick and we stayed home.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I think the point of Christmas is FAMILY, not TOYS and I think its terrible that they won't leave their houses (please don't take offense to this). So, even if you go to one sister's house then to the other's, your two sisters won't be seeing each other! No matter what! I think in that situation, the reason for Christmas needs to be brought to light again.

Sorry if it sounds harsh...I don't mean to sound that way.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

Thanks.

Message edited 3/2/2007 10:26:08 AM.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I think your sisters kids could suck it up and take some of their new toys with them to another house. They have Christmas night and their entire Christmas week break to play with their toys! They can't be away for a few hours???

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

in my honest opinion - it sounds like your sisters are almost "competing" with each other. holidays are about being with "family" - not where your kids play with their toys.
i dont feel like you are being "punished" for not haveing children - but i do feel like you are not part of their competition - so your not getting it.
what if you just meet w/ your parents and your brother for christmas and catch up with your sisters some other time around christmas? i feel like they almost want to have the family "side" with one of them. i feel like there is alot of selfishness happening with them.

imo

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I don't think that is necessarily true that when the kids get older they just want to be with immediate family

I'm sure they love you guys and love seeing you....Maybe that is how your sisters feel (wanting to be with immediate family)
but I think they should consider their kids - your neices and nephews first. And I am sure they will come to find out that they would love to be with their cousins and aunts and uncles on Christmas

I know that some let their kids bring one toy they got under the tree to christmas -if it is not at their house-

maybe try that?

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

The toys will still be there when they get home.

In our family we generally split up the holidays...
for example, my mother hosts Thanksgiving, My sister Christmas Eve and me Christmas Day...(usually..too PG this year to host) and then we rotate Easter we each host it every 3rd yr.

Could you maybe suggest something like that to keep the family together for the holidays...after all isn't the holidays all about family and close friends

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

We just started doing that too.... I have a 5 yr old and a 22 month old (and I am preggo) .. We've told family that if they want to see the kids on Christmas then they have to come over... I'm not trying to inconvenience anyone but trying to take 2 screaming kids away from their presents just to go see family doesn't work.... They are the kids and Christmas is for them, so the adults are the one that have to make the sacrifice to come see them.. JMO

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I would tell your sisters that their kids will not get any gifts from you unless they are at the family gathering. You are not Santa Claus, you won't be delivering gifts all over town.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

honestly, that would not upset me at all. I am Jewish, but used to celebrate Christmas with my best friend for years. they all got together on Christmas Eve and then for dinner on Christmas day.

everyone kept their own gifts in their respective houses, and just exchanged with each other on Christmas Eve.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I don't have kids, but I think their reasoning is kind of silly. They can each spend christmas morning at their homes where their kids can open and play with some of their gifts. Then they can pack up the kids to spend the holiday with family - I am sure they will get more gifts from the rest of the family they will be only too happy to recieve!
Why don't you or your parents host christmas, that way neither sister "wins."

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I can see their point -- it is nice to be home for Christmas.

But I can't see not having a specific time for the family to celebrate together especially this year with Christmas being on a Monday. There's ample time for everyone to get together on either Saturday or Sunday.


My in-laws celebrate Christmas Eve with the family and then everyone does their own thing on Christmas day.

Message edited 11/29/2006 4:26:41 PM.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I can see their point and know my mom always hosted christmas for this reason when we were kids. BUT - I also don't think there were any other siblings who were chomping at the bit to have it at their house at that point either for a variety of reasons. I don't think my mom would have refused if someone else wanted to take a turn.

Being childless and having a siibling with kids- I can understand your position too. And, personally I don't think that a person with kids should always get first dibs on holiday hosting, nor do I think it's fair for family members with kids to take the attitude that it's "easy" for kidless people to travel. Travel on holidays is travel, period.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

When I was a kid we went somewhere else every Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I never ever felt that I was leaving my new stuff behind, in fact I looked forward to going to the next place and seeing my cousins and getting more presents.

It is about family, not presents (although kids may see it differently).

We have, this year, drawn a line and told our families that there is no more bouncing around to multiple locations on holidays, it's just too much for us. We're happy to celebrate holidays or see different sides of the family on different days. For example we're hosting Christmas Day and so is my SIL so we'll just see them a different day.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I have kids and I travel a few blocks to my mom's for Christmas...not a big deal. When my parents lived in Queens, we used to go there...not a big deal either. While I normally don't like dragging my boys all over God's green earth, I really don't mind it on Christmas. My parents and family would be DEVASTATED if they didn't see the kids on that special day!

Your sister's kids are old enough to tell them get their game face on and get in the car. They have the rest of their life to play with their toys. It's time to go celebrate with the family.

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

I have seen this happen in my own family and it is very stressful for everyone . . . families need to be flexible on holidays if being together is what really matters. No one should take a stand and say they are going to stay home every year. I can understand rotating so that each year someone gets to stay in their own home, but backing the family against the wall like that does not seem fair, IMO

Re: My turn to ask for help/your opinions

Thank you everyone.

Message edited 3/2/2007 10:26:24 AM.