My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

So many of you probably saw my post from last week that said we were going to a birthday party for DH's Grandma (Oma) at his Uncle's house. And that DH was called a few days before we went to say that we needed to pay $25 each to attend. DS went for free because he is only 18 months.. how gracious of them. Basically, DH and I paid $50 for the following: (nothing was catered.. all homemade)

Potato chips and onion dip
Tortilla chips
Veggie platter
Shrimp tempura from Costco's
Homemade salsa/cheese/dip of some sort.
Hamburgers
Hot dogs
Chicken
Pork chops
Potato salad
Torteloni salad
Homemade birthday cake

Needless to say DS did not eat anything that they had there because he was just refusing. He ate what I brought for him. DH hardly ate at all because he tends to try and watch his sodium intake and everything was marinated in the saltiest stuff. And I ate minimal food.

I am beyond pis$ed off. I feel like taking $50 from us was a huge slap in the face for what was served. There were only 9 adults total plus DS there, so it wasn't like it was this HUGE party to have to cook for. And in the end I feel as though it would have been much more appropriate to ask each person to bring something instead of taking cash from us.

Let's just say that DH had no choice but to hear my opinion on the drive home and luckily he agrees with me that we are not paying to go to their house again. We will either contribute a dish or not go at all. THey are planning on inviting everyone over the Saturday of Mother's Day weekend and I would rather chew my own arm off. (maybe a little extreme, but I am so annoyed)

To aggravate the situation even more, they have a very energetic 80 pound dog that they would not keep away from DS so we basically paid $50 to "work" to keep our child away from a dog that was looking to knock him over and eat hardly anything. We had to do it because of Oma and her birthday, but that is it.

Please tell me I have a right to be pis$ed.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

You have every right..for Pete's sake..don't invite someone over if you're not INVITING them over...a pot luck would have been more appropriate, I agree...

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

If there were 9 adults and each had to pay $25 there is no way that is $225 worth of food. I would be furious that htey even asked for the money and I would have them over and tell them you are collecting

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

I totally agree that I would be perturbed to say the least. You could've all ordered takeout from an Italian place for $10 each and ordered what you wanted. I also agree with the potluck, if there is a next time. You said they wanted to hold Mother's Day too?

Re:

Message edited 3/4/2010 9:03:54 PM.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

wow, I read your previous post and was shocked. with what they served you and the amount of people there they totally made a profit for sure.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

WOW!!! That's a brass pair!

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

Nope, you have every right to be ******. They have nerve charging for a menu like that. If they were doing something like steaks and lobster, fine, but what they did is sad. I hope your DH keeps his word and doesn't make you go for mothers day.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

I would be completely annoyed as well. I don't think you are in the wrong at all.

I can't imagine going to someone's house for an event and have to pay a cover to get in. Ridiculous.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

I can't believe you went.

I would have RSVP'd: "no chance! we'll take Grandma out for dinner for her b-day and put the $50 towards a lovely dinner out!"

I feel that by NOT going, I am not enabling their rude behavior!

if you can't afford to host a party, don't have one! end of story

sounds like they made some $ on the deal, from family - nice

Message edited 3/29/2009 5:31:01 PM.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

That's beyond ball$y....considering what they had to offer as food....and how many people they had. It's nice they pocketed your money and whomever else's?

Maybe they needed the extra money to pay for LIPA this month and this was their only idea.

You said 9 people were invited.......Do any of the other 9 people thing this was totally inappropriate? Or could it be the others got out of it???

Did your in-laws have to pay too?

I am really fuming for you right now!!!

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

Hope they didn't hurt themselves.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

wow, they basically made money off their own family. If times were that tough they should have asked for donations

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

I can see where $225 went for food & beverages but I cannot imagine charging people to eat dinner at my house. If they couldn't afford to provide food then they should have gone potluck style and ask everyone to bring something or go the cake/coffee route.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

The whole thing is ridiculous - did anyone ever say anything to them?

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

did you ask for a doggy bag...

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

(said WITH A LOT OF SNARK)

Did they give Grandma a GREAT GIFT ?


They practally charged you guys per bite of food!


Watch out for your itemized bill in the mail..you probably ate a couple chips etc more than you were alotted!

Message edited 3/29/2009 7:36:50 PM.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

Honestly, for $25 per person, I would have expected a lot more food - did they buy alcohol??

While I can understand that they have hosted a few family gatherings each year and it really can add up (from your original post), I think it would have been MUCH better received to just ask everyone to bring a dish. Why insist on cooking if you need people to (over)pay for it? I'm sure you're not the only one that went to the party that was upset about it - although maybe other people didn't want to trash talk so you don't know.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Honestly, for $25 per person, I would have expected a lot more food - did they buy alcohol??

While I can understand that they have hosted a few family gatherings each year and it really can add up (from your original post), I think it would have been MUCH better received to just ask everyone to bring a dish. Why insist on cooking if you need people to (over)pay for it? I'm sure you're not the only one that went to the party that was upset about it - although maybe other people didn't want to trash talk so you don't know.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

i'm just curious... when exactly did you have to pay?

did you have to pay beforehand, or did they charge admission at the door?

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

Message edited 3/29/2009 10:19:36 PM.

Re: My update to the "you have to pay $25 to come to Grandma's birthday barbeque at uncle's house"... still annoyed.

thats crazy.. my family sometimes gets catered food from Holiday farms in roslyn... $14 a person for dinner then you just need the apps, soda & a cake

id have dh decline the next time

Message edited 3/30/2009 12:12:25 AM.